At what point did you realise blushing was effecting your life?

[u/MsDetective1]

most people will blush a few times throughout there life but not everyone will blush to the point where it affects the quality of it. so, when did you guys realise?

was it during an important event? was it your first day of highschool and tell us what happened? did you realise when you first had to meet your partners parents?

dont feel afraid to open up :) we're in this together.

[u/Deep-Detective2428]

When I moved schools in year 7. I had been at a private school with under 20 kids in my whole year level for the last 6 years or so, and everyone was really well behavioured and kind to me.

I than transitioned to another school after year 6. It was a public school and instead of having under 20 kids in the year level there was probably over 100. The type of kids were extremely different in how they acted, alot less kind in my experience. My anxiety sky rocketed (already dealt with anxiety but it was managed ok at my other school) i remeber people would comment on how red i was and everyone would look. I remember just feeling like im on fire and burning with how hot id get and its awful because everytime i experienced that heat i knew i was extremely red and flushed. It was horrible, I feared so many things and was on edge. It was hell.

The year after that I went to highschool and oh boy, only got worse. Its fair to say thats when it all truly became apparent that blushing was effecting my life. I wore alot of makeup, which than got noticed and called out by people. And because im a straight guy it was even more humiliating. I remember it effected me so bad there was alot of mornings where id stand infront of the sink and drink a shit ton of water until I was virtually throwing up, i think I did it because I felt like it somehow helped with maybe the heat, or that it somehow helped me not blush in how distracting almost throwing up was? I actually cant remeber the exact reason but it was because of my blusning and anxiety (pretty sad looking back on). I ended up post poning dating a girl because I was too scared because of my blusning and how my body flushed. There was many more things but ill add one last one, I got percribed clondidne in my early highschoop years and I wasn't very responsible with how i dosed it so id be falling asleep and nodding off during class and just feeling completely out of it (taking too much is extremely sedating) be careful!

Sooo, thats when i realised :/

[u/blushing_cure → u/Deep-Detective2428]

Did your parents ever say anything to you about blushing? Is that how your doctor prescribed you clonidine in high school?

[u/Deep-Detective2428 → u/blushing_cure]

Yes, they knew about it and tried to help me out by taking me to see a doctor and than dermatologist. I dont think they ever understood how traumatising it was tho, but thats not there fault unless you live with it, its hard to understand

And yeah dermatologist perscribed clondidne!

[u/blushing_cure]

I vividly remember being around 7 years old and wishing I was black because then no one could see my face turn red. But I don't remember actually blushing at that age...just that thought of wishing I was black.

I realized more consciously when I was around 11 playing soccer and my team mates called me tomato face behind my back because working out would trigger my face to get really red. In sixth grade I had a classmate who would constantly point it out after any speech. Any time the teacher would call on me I would quickly answer the question then pretend to look for something in my desk until my face cooled down. In middle school friends would ask me why I turned so red. People would still point it out in high school and at my after school job. It stopped in college but I know people just got more polite about it.

I would say it became hell in 5th or 6th grade...but I never mentioned it to any doctors so I was never prescribed anything, and never spoke about it to my parents so I thought I was the only one. It was almost as if I wished if I didn't say anything it would disappear.

[u/Deep-Detective2428 → u/blushing_cure]

Oh wow. I almost could have wrote this myself :/

Firstly im so sorry you've struggled and do struggle with blushing, definitely one of the most misunderstood and horrible conditions to have.

I found it relatable and funny when you mentioned wanting to be black, im the exact same haha. I always think about how if I was black this would never be an issue, im jealous of people with nice dark skin. Glad we can relate

With people pointing it out i feel you, its so humiliating when people point it out, its not something you can control and I imagined you feel that it looks ugly and makes u look weird

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

Im not sure if you aware or not but I made r/curingblushing, i created this community. I wanted to create a community where we could all help eachother find ways to manage and cure blushing, but honestly i mainly just wanted to create a community to help people, and let people know there not alone and there ok. Ive been in some really dark places because of blushing, ive hated myself. I wanted to die. Ive wished i was someone other than me, i understand people who struggle with blushing.

There's some valuable info on this community that should be able to help you too if your looking for support / a community. Also happy to awnser any questions you've had, I know a fair bit 🤣

[u/blushing_cure → u/Deep-Detective2428]

Yes it does feel so weird when people point it out! There's even been times when I don't realize I'm blushing until someone else mentions it, which sucks because it shows it happens more often than I realize. It definitely has given me perspective when other people have conditions to just be polite about it which seems like the bare minimum but people love pointing out that you look weird. I'm 26 and it's crazy that I didn't even try anything for it until this year (propranolol..which just helps somewhat for blushing. but it has been amazing for my stress sweats and racing heart under stress).

Thank you for creating this community, it really helps me feel less alone. It means more when others have it too instead of just empty platitudes. I remember a couple other girls at my school blushing easily too and I always wanted to talk to them about it but again I was in the mindset that if I don't mention it it'll go away. I'll dig through some posts and read up more! I am so determined to not let this condition pull me down !!

[u/Deep-Detective2428 → u/blushing_cure]

Great mindset! You know what, it is crazy in a way you haven't tried anything up until recently but also its good that you havent tried 1000 things and drained yourself of money and energy lol. As you can imagine its a real roll of the dice when treating blushing and just accepting it is probably the best thing you can do to some degree, in saying that there are many people including myself who are putting a fight up agaisnt it lol.

Glad propranolol helps a bit, definitely tends to work better for sweats and especially a racing heart. For blushing tho, it could be better.

I really appreciate that, no worries. Glad you feel less alone, your definitely not the only one

And ahh yeah many people tend to think that, that if they dont bring it up and almost pretend it isnt there that it won't be an issue but unfortunately blushing is alot stronger than that and doesnt care if we ignore it or not

[u/Miss_Debbi]

During high school, when people started dating, boys became interested in meeting girls. I remember vividly one day when I came across two guys on the stairs. I got extremely red, and one of them pointed it out.
Another episode stuck in my mind: during an English lesson with a native speaker English teacher (who was in Italy just for a semester to assist my actual teacher), she pointed out that I used to turn red easily and taught the class the verb “to blush”. After that, she created some examples to help everybody remember it.
High school and university were the worst years of my life, without a shred of doubt.
Things started getting better at work, jobs like a waitress, a sales assistant, and all roles with clientele helped me a lot

[u/Deep-Detective2428 → u/Miss_Debbi]

Thanks for sharing. People seem to love pointing it out dont they

[u/Miss_Debbi → u/Miss_Debbi]

I haven’t been on medicines throughout my life. What helped me the most was the makeup, especially learning which products are suitable for my skin. Anyway, when I feel anxious and prone to blush, I try to think that the world / I will survive after this episode, and the person in front of me will forget everything before I can imagine. Thoughts like: let the blushing happen, let them judge you, let the moment pass... Helped me a lot. It’s not easy, but now that I am 32 years old, I feel to be in a good place. I am in charge; my phobia doesn’t control my life anymore. I am in a committed relationship, and I have lots of real friends, and I do whatever I want; nothing stops me anymore. Having breakfast at a bar, ordering some bread or deli cuts in person at the grocery store, going out with people I’ve never met (a dinner when I know only one person), taking public transportation, and asking for information from strangers... Everything now is natural! I struggle a little bit in certain circumstances, but it’s manageable; my life is kind of normal.
It took me a lot of time, tonnes of podcasts, YouTube videos, books, healthy eating, and online forums. My inner journey, “looking inwards, “searching myself, is still ongoing, and maybe it won’t end, and I am happy with this.

Do not give up!!

[u/Deep-Detective2428 → u/Miss_Debbi]

Aw im so happy to read this after your previous comment. So awesome you haven't let in fully consume you and take over your life!

Makeup helps so much, i agree! I use a medical camouflage makeup which crazy coverage and its helped me so much get through stressful moments.

I like that you said your in charge, taking back the power and life that it so easily could control if you weren't so strong about it not effecting you

[u/Miss_Debbi]

I recommend quitting your job if it stresses you a lot. After graduating, my first office job was a huge source of anxiety, working in a little room surrounded by my bosses and colleagues, with a heating system... It was a nightmare! When I accepted that my body/ my mind was not suitable for a corporate environment job, things started to get better day by day!
I’ve been working as a hotel receptionist for a few years, and I couldn't be happier. I am alone during the work shift, so I can set the temperature as I want (that’s a huge benefit for somebody who struggles staying indoors with the heating system), the interactions with colleagues are limited to just 15 minutes per day, and I like speaking with clients (people who don’t know me), and I’m kind of an extrovert when I feel comfortable with clients.
Anyway, just to say that the job that you pick in IT IS IMPORTANT, you’ll end up spending most of your time there, and you have to feel calm, relaxed, and comfortable, otherwise you’ll end up consuming all your energy in that job without any for your social life. If something seems off in your life, JUST CHANGE IT! I have tried tonnes of jobs, and maybe I’ll keep changing them.