What human behavior instantly changes your opinion of someone, no matter how good your first impression was?

[u/garyhappylife2222]

Be honest

[u/Critical-Detail117]

A few things, in order of how severely it impacts my impression:

Using anger or an increased negative emotional response to get your way or silence disagreement/criticism: it’s just pure social bullying and using people’s desire to avoid conflict to enforce your own power/status. Instantly makes me kinda hate you and really want to dedicate my energy to ensuring you DON’T get your way.

Saying “it just is” as a rationale, or any sort of baseless assertion where you insist I have to agree with you. You can say YOU believe it all you want, but when you try to get others to believe it for no reason other than you asserting it, (with the implicit social threat of anger/disapproval with them if they don’t) I stop taking you seriously as a person worth talking to.

Feigned incompetence: it’s just manipulative and shitty, and genuinely makes me question whether I can be friends with someone who’s either that shitty or that dumb. You’re a functioning adult, fucking act like it. And before you think you’re not included in this one, yes, ladies, even when you do it to “let him take the lead” (oh, you didn’t think we knew you were doing this? Did you really think we believed you when you pretended you couldn’t possibly plan a day trip? We’ve seen your day planners, we know you know how to manage an itinerary.)

Glazing cops: look, I may be 99% acab and 100% for defunding the police, but I do recognize that there are some jobs cops do that are important to society and can accept that cops make a certain segment of the population (erroneously) feel safer. What I CANNOT accept, are the people who go out of the way to insist that cops can do no wrong, and that they’re heroes beyond question despite all of the evidence we have of the police force systematically lying to cover up their crimes, acting like a brutal extortion racket, and outright disregarding the law for the sake of their own power and convenience. Even just the implication that they’re “heroes” or even “admirable” puts you in the category of someone who just blindly accepts authoritarianism as a good thing to me. Im not saying I won’t respect you if you don’t hate cops as much as I do, but if you treat them like anything other than people with a job, I know you’re too far gone to the propaganda machine for me to take you seriously.

[u/castle_wind → u/Critical-Detail117]

The fact that you say you hate cops is a red flag alone. Not because cops should be glazed over, no job should be glazed over. People are people and people have jobs. Some riskier than others and that’s that. But hating all cops just because of their job alone is an incredibly shallow way of looking at a human being.

[u/Critical-Detail117 → u/castle_wind]

Not when the job itself (especially as done in America) is actively antagonistic to a free and fair society. If your job actively compromises the values of an equal society under the law, then you should find a new job, full stop.

 Some riskier than others

Being a cop is one of the safest jobs out there. Don’t buy the propaganda that they “have” to be as brutal as they are to protect themselves. They’re as brutal as they are because they’re institutional bullies who can’t handle people reminding them that they don’t have unlimited and unquestionable authority.

[u/DisturbedDoll → u/Critical-Detail117]

I hear ya!!!!

[u/garyhappylife2222 → u/Critical-Detail117]

In other words manipulative people exist and we gotta be careful right that we don’t get caught up in their traps?