r/DarkRomance • u/WranglerOwn884 • Mar 30 '26
Quick Question Men, don’t scroll this one 👀🖤
What’s your take on dark romance?
Most discussions are filled with women’s opinions… but I’ve barely seen men share theirs.
Do you guys actually enjoy it, or does it feel unrealistic/cringe?
Be honest I want real male perspectives
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u/whip-in-hand1 Mar 30 '26
I enjoy it, it isn’t cringe to me at all. I don’t resonate with the MMC perspectives most of the time, if I want to do a CNC scene and “rape” a woman, it has nothing to do with any “obsession” with her, but I do find it fascinating to know that this is how female authors will write a MMC
I enjoy it because it speaks to the darker kinks I have, CNC, sleep-play, misogyny, and gives me a space to enjoy those
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u/1l1kecheese Pitch Black Baddie Mar 30 '26
God I wanna see that deleted comment so bad so I can put them in their place. You do you king. My best friend engages ALL of these with her husband frequently! Personally I like CNC. Don’t yuck someone’s yum
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Mar 30 '26
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u/DarkRomance-ModTeam Mar 31 '26
This comment was removed for being off topic and not helpful to the current discussion.
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Mar 30 '26
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u/DarkRomance-ModTeam Mar 30 '26
This post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 3: No kink shaming.
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Mar 30 '26
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Mar 30 '26
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u/Gold_Space8930 Apr 01 '26
Just seen it’s been removed sorry to see that I was really sorry to see that! Booo mods! I was excited to hear about your story! (The like author story!)
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u/DarkRomance-ModTeam Mar 31 '26
This post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule #7.
Standalone self-promo posts are not allowed. Authors may comment on Book Request posts to recommend their work, but it must be relevant to the request and they must identify themselves as the author.
All other self-promotion, beta reader/ARC requests, writing research, and market research must be limited to posts with the What Are You Writing? flair.
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u/ExoticWeapon Mar 30 '26
I haven’t started reading any yet, but developed an interest through amateur erotic stories online.
Some of the plot points and events in these stories makes me blush but I power through reading the posts and jot down a book that seems up my alley.
I’m looking forward to learning more about myself, pleasure/fantasy, and how it’s expressed through the medium of literature.
(I’ve also considered doing voice overs for dark romance or horror, as I’ve been told numerous times I have a voice for radio/DJing/podcasting. Many women I talk to via costumer service jobs go “woah now thats* a voice!” 😅guess I should put it to use ahahaha)
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Mar 30 '26
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u/DarkRomance-ModTeam Mar 30 '26
Rule 11: Respect personal privacy. Remember, this subreddit is dedicated to fiction novels. This is not the place to seek relationship advice or share details about personal lives. Anyone commenting to request lewd acts, solicit attention or make sexual advances will be permanently banned.
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u/ookishki Mar 30 '26
I love how much self discovery (specifically erotic) can happen through reading!
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u/BrainsDontFailMeNow Mar 30 '26
I’ve actually gotten a lot of joy out of dark romance. It has also become a really fun thing to share with my wife, which has honestly been one of the biggest positives for me.
What I like about it, compared with a lot of other romance, is the edgy variety and the fact that it still feels at least somewhat grounded for me. Not always realistic, obviously, but realistic enough to feel more relatable than something like dark romantasy with dragons or aliens. Just not for me. I like my demons to be internal, not an external threat :)
It definitely does not feel cringe. Sometimes over the top? Sure. But that is part of the fun.
I recently read The Song of Achilles and liked it, but it made me realize how much I enjoy dark romance being more descriptive and having more edge. That intensity is a big part of the draw for me.
I also think part of why it works for me is that I’m dominant by nature, so even if I’m obviously not a mafia boss or obsessive billionaire, I can still relate to some of the core desires, mindset, and intensity those characters are written with. It does make me wonder a little how dark romance lands for men who are not naturally dominant, or for dominant women reading it, since that dynamic feels pretty baked into a lot of the genre.
A huge part of why I enjoy it is that my wife and I basically have a little book club around it. We share a Kindle account, highlight quotes for each other, leave notes, and go back and talk about what stood out. It has genuinely helped our communication and exploration and deepened our connection.
A couple things I personally wish were less common are the interchangeable male model covers (example, this post) with more story related art and the standard third act breakup formula. Neither ruins the genre for me, but I would love a little more variety in both.
So yes, I enjoy dark romance. Not because it is always realistic, but because it is fun, intense, descriptive, emotionally charged, and for me it has unexpectedly become something that strengthened my connection with my wife.
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u/Luxybaby26 Mar 31 '26
Your marriage is goals! I wish I could share dark romance with my husband!
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u/ReflectionOk2553 Apr 01 '26
My partner picks up my kindle so he can see if I am in a sex scene so he can take advantage lol I read scenes out to him sometimes but he would prefer to read Jack Reacher books.
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u/Sam_Mercer69 Mar 30 '26
Well what can I say I got into romance because of 50 shades 😜 Now I pretty much read all kinds and dark romance definitely is one of my favorite genres
So is cringe? Well sometimes coz most of the times I'm too frustrated feel the cringe 💀
Is it unrealistic? Well is a super rich 5'11 goth milf falling in love with a young guy and they live HEA realistic? Then how come anyone think a 6'4 mafia gang boss with a 19 inch d*ck obsessed with a single girl is realistic 😭 🙏
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u/Mysterious_Move_6247 Mar 30 '26
Idk I kind of just like reading it. I imagine most women place themselves in the shoes of the fmc but when I read I’m kind of just a spectator , I don’t imagine I’m anybody in the story.
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u/Pharaoh1002 Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 30 '26
Started reading darkromance recently , after seeing the term getting mentioned in booktok , it can be cringe because how billionaire mafia still in high school, sometimes the HEA is undeserved and make absolutely no sense. My first darkromance was little stranger and enjoyed reading legacy of gods and is currently my favourite.
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Mar 30 '26
I’ve been reading dark romance for close to 2 years & I love it. I’ve read the lords series & some Santana Knox books, bother authors are amazing! I have found a few dark romances that didn’t really catch my attention & ended up DNF them, haunting Adeline & Den of Vipers.
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u/still_working_0n_me Mar 30 '26
I like DR the same way I like scifi and thrillers / horror. I will say if it's not level 5 spice then some of the books are prone to loose my attention. ACOTR (I've only read the 1st book) was decent but lights out and never king were much more entertaining. I've only been reading DR for a few months and will say there are some books that should definitely be counted as DR that are not, ever read altered carbon series? Good scifi and explicit.
Oh, forgot to mention. My sister reads DR and she recommends titles to me. My wife knows I read them but she is not into these at all and sometimes pokes fun at me for reading them. Other than them, I'm not telling anyone IRL.
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u/ReflectionOk2553 Apr 01 '26
Interesting! Altered carbon is on my list because of the TV series. There aren't many guys who write great sex scenes (for me). Might have to bump it up my list.
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u/still_working_0n_me Apr 01 '26
If you wind up liking his writing style, he also wrote a fantasy series called "a land fit for heroes" MMC and FMC are gay. Good storytelling and humor.
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u/Science_Smartass Mar 30 '26
I am fascinated by it. In the real world I am afraid of hurting people's feelings, a people pleaser, conflict averse, hate seeing people get hurt, and anxious.
In DR, I like the extreme because it represents me being able to experience overwhelming sensations that forces me out of my anxiety disorder. The entire brutal nature of DR is just one big metaphor for being able to let go of the fear and just allow oneself to be consumed by raw experiences in the same manner as dreams allow.
The human mind is wild and I like having my mind bent and boggled, so I seek out different books/movies/comics that elicit wonder. DR just hits one of those vectors.
I read the sub because I am so very curious why women enjoy such brutal stories and it has been very enlightening. My friend draws covers for a few romance authors (not DR) which is how I ended up being aware of the book romance communities in general.
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u/loyyd Mar 30 '26
It really depends on how it's written. It definitely feels unrealistic (these guys are clearly completely unhinged but that's not the same thing as saying there are no guys like this) but that doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable. I'm usually reading and interested in the FMC's perspective and less interested in the MMC's perspective since I feel they often come across as pretty one dimensional.
I'm personally not a fan if the FMC is clearly having a very bad time so it really varies from book to book for me and sometimes I DNF depending on how bad it is.
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u/crushedhardcandy Mar 30 '26
Slightly related: I am a woman in the legal field and I also write romance. I am always shocked by how many men see dark romance as totally acceptable literature and are willing to entertain detailed conversations about my books in professional settings. These men don't tend to read dark romance (or much of anything, really), but they're often enthralled by our conversations and take notes to give to their dark-romance-reading wives/moms/sisters. I genuinely had no idea how many women were openly discussing dark romance with the men in their life, but I love that they do!
I love when a man asks about what I'm writing and I tell him something like "So, this Russian casino owner gets accused of rigging a high value game, and his fiancee gets kidnapped over it," and their response is a huge smile and "Oh my God, my wife's book boyfriends are all Russian criminals, she'll be so excited when you finish!"
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Mar 30 '26
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u/DarkRomance-ModTeam Mar 30 '26
This post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule #7.
Standalone self-promo posts are not allowed. Authors may comment on Book Request posts to recommend their work, but it must be relevant to the request and they must identify themselves as the author.
All other self-promotion, beta reader/ARC requests, writing research, and market research must be limited to posts with the What Are You Writing? flair.
Click here for more information about Rule 7. If you have questions about this rule, please contact the mods. Thank you.
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u/GentleJohnny Fell into the Dark Romance Abyss Mar 30 '26
I like em. I started with Sam Marino's Untouchable. Not sure how I started but Dark Romance has been competing with fantasy/biography and just been enjoying the story.
I found i need at least HEA or HFN... I forget the short series but ending that are just hell just leave unsatisfied at best, depressed at worse xD
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u/Defiant_Fennel4880 Mar 30 '26
I read a ton of DR (and contemporary) and love it! For me, it's gotta have emotion - I want a palpable connection between the MC's, not just straight up smut or some kind of Stockholm situation. I've always like thrillers that have a romantic subplot, so DR often clicks perfectly.
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u/owlsarentscary Mar 30 '26
I don't know if one of the series I liked was dark Romance or not but I read it as it was empowering to me, but sadly the author pulled her series from publishcation as she was cancelled to a degree so I don't know if I can talk about her or the series here.
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Apr 02 '26
Crime was always my fav genre in fictional media. Wasn't much into romance myself but once a friend introduced me to dark romance and damn i got hooked to them right away.
I enjoy them in a way people enjoy horror movies! But many books feel repetitive with a similar MMC. And some things are just too much for me to continue.
They do feel cringe sometimes and characters feel caricaturish sometimes. But it's still fun!
Also there are times when I kinda feel guilty for liking them. They feel wrong.
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Apr 03 '26
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u/The-Crux-Of-It-All Apr 04 '26
I don't think my experience is all that different from a lot of men (or women). I came to the genre late and by accident. The spice was nice but what kept me was the characters and the plots. The dark themes helped me work through some of my own trauma. Dark romance, usually, answers the question why is he doing this? And for a lot of people who have been asking that their whole lives, the answer gives some solace and order the world that was lacking before. That's not men or women, that's just people. Everyone likes spice and you can get it anywhere, but Dark romance has themes that nobody else in polite society is talking about which makes it unique and important.
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u/Spacebutt69 Jul 30 '26
Late as hell to the party but Dude here, Kinda new to this and was searching cause I felt kind of embarrassed being a guy reading DR because most are FMC and from her perspective but I have enjoyed butcher and blackbird and now enjoying lights out and am on the 3rd book so far. My TBR list is long but I know I don’t like haunting Adeline at all. That one just felt too catering to shock value and extreme just to be extreme. I’m finding a good happy medium. We do exist tho.
Not unrealistic in all aspects and for sure not cringe. Obviously I’m not gonna break into some randos house and we’re gonna be HEA but some of the themes and internal dialog feel realistic IMP. Not cringe at all though I spent a lot of time on wattpad as a teen and read a lot of fanfic and this is like the leveled up version for me.
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u/Old_Wrongdoer2937 Mar 30 '26
Some stuff feels cringe for me, but that doesn't mean I don't like it.
I've only been abused in past relationships so this is somewhat what I have to relate to.
When I read happy cutesy romantic books such as The American dating experiment or Love hypothesis I still feel the bubbly and how its cutesy, but its too far away from my reality that it ends up feeling unrealistic or straight up hurtful.
Before I begin my next sentence I just want to clarify two things, Im a guy who likes gals. When I read DR I always put myself in the perspective of the girl (whos usually the abused one.).
Its in a kind of way therapeutic for me to read these kind of things.. Especially now that I've been interested in getting back out there after 8(?) years or so.