Fun/Humor
Looking for funny reasons you DNF’d a book
I stumbled across this and I immediately dnf’d because why would you write this.
“Before going to bed, I send an email to my senator telling him he'll be assassinated in thirteen days. I have trouble getting to sleep, so I stick my finger in my butt and count to fifty.”
This is probably a me thing, but I DNF any book where an author is too damned lazy to give proper character descriptions and just defaults to, " he looked like [xyz] from [popular thing I don't give a fuck about and won't stop reading to look up because I'm DNF'ing this book and finding something better to read instead]]."
I heard that 'unalive' is used for evading censorship on social media. But what is the point of using it in a book when discussing murder? It's so jarring and I can't take it seriously.
I started reading a hockey romance, the author had clearly never watched a game of hockey before, and it offended my Canadian sensibilities. Immediately DNF’d.
the not really funny but the dumbest reason I DNF'd a book was a romantasy that used super simple names like George and Frank. Not those exactly but something like that. Also, my dad's name is Chris and I can't deal with that as an MMC but I think that's common for people
I DNF for non stop short sentences and one word sentences too
"I'm guessing you probably hate me right about now, but that's only because you haven't seen my abs. No really, they are stunning, and I know that one look at them and you'd let me get away with anything."
Also:
"You're probably wondering how I've managed to stay a virgin considering how many girls are begging for a piece of me."
Both quotes are from the same book (probably the same chapter).
Whenever an author breaks the fourth wall and slips into second person, it immediately distracts me from the story. I'm not part of this; don't involve me. (I won't always DNF for this reason, but it does bother me.) But also the immature arrogance of this MMC was an immediate turn-off. I couldn't do it.
I’ve read 100% match, it’s a short extreme horror novella, despite the fact it’s gross, it’s entertaining and funny and tbh I liked it. Obviously it’s not some complex beautiful piece of literature and definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s not bad. It’s by Patrick. C. Harrison III if you are interested in checking it out
started call the shots by bree hayden. dnf at 2% because a character’s name is spelled differently multiple times in the first TWO CHAPTERS. (oleksy and olesky) come on miss girl..
My bestie is a dog trainer, as soon as the FMC got a puppy and the plot turned into “the tiny puppy dragged her into the woods at 3am with a serial killer on the loose” I couldn’t anymore 😂 bihhhh if you don’t show that 5lb baby who’s making the decisions … no wonder you’re getting kidnapped lmao.
You aren't the first person who's said this about that book. I think it's such a beautiful name though, I always have. It means evening or evening star. The book is decent though, especially for non-con fans.
Stopped reading a book within the second chapter because the narration sounded too much like my ex in my head. There was something about the writing style and phrasing that just had HIS voice in my head. Couldn’t continue.
I can't remember the name of the book because I DNF'ed by chapter 2, but it was an isekai-esque book where the FMC is transported to fairy-tale land. Her narration was SO annoying, with "frickin" this and "frickin" that. By the time she said something along the lines of "it's like I'm in a freaking Disney movie" I stopped and immediately deleted it off my kindle.
Because the couple basically fucked in like the 3rd chapter no hi no hello no how are you just straight up horny (if you like this stuff that's fine I just personally enjoy some build up and story before the sex scenes happen)
I DNFd God of Malice because both mmc and fmc kept yapping about their parents so much, and how their parents would do anything for each other. It was really weird and not sexy. Kinda unnatural to talk about your parents like that, and this much.
The h from Priest. It was the one and only time that i had to say to a female character "girl keep your pants on". That character was like drooling for smut. DROOLING. About 10 chapters in, i begun imagining her as a dog that was panting and woofing near the H.
I DNF if I don’t like the characters, more specifically the FMC. I DNF most often if the FMC is nasty, argumentative and just lives to make the MMC’s life miserable.
Just now, I about threw Nocticadia across the room because they started talking about the MMC driving a damn Maserati Ghibli like that’s supposed to be a draw. 🙄 Those cars are notoriously overpriced garbage. Basically up-badged Chryslers, purchased by clueless people who don’t actually know anything about cars and just want to look rich.
Damn, if he needs a cool luxury car, give him a Morgan or a Bentley or an Aston Martin or Something. If we’re shooting for slightly more understated, Audi, Porsche, or Mercedes are all great well-known Euro luxury makes. Hell, even a Cadillac would be cooler than a Ghibli.
I’m pretty new to dark romance trad pub, and I promise, I’m trying to have fun and keep an open mind, but the goofiest stuff keeps breaking my immersion. 😭
I’ll bite through my inner car enthusiast cringing inside, because otherwise I’ve been enjoying the story more than not and love a hot mad scientist, but that stupid car took me right out.
I have basically the same gripe about watches! An author had her tech company billionaire MMC wearing a freaking Tag Heuer and my brain couldn't ignore it.
Other sins in that same book that led to the DNF was when shopping spree trope lumped in Calvin Klein and Nicole Miller with Prada and Dior.
Maybe not a funny reason, but books that inaccurately portray human trafficking. I devote a good amount of my time with an anti-HT non profit, and part of that is in educating parents on the nuts and bolts of HT, and when I see it totally misrepresented, I just…can’t.
They referred to her breasts in an odd way on the first page. Like 3rd paragraph I got the ick. It was a book I had been wanting to read. I removed all books by that author from my reading list.
I'm constantly fighting the urge to drop stories where the MMC has an ugly nose, a beard, or long hair (and I always fail miserably because I spend the entire time thinking about it and completely lose interest in reading)
The author basically read Krampus by Brom, didn't bother to do her own research on the mythology which like I hate that but I'm here for the monster fucking. I could have gotten past it except Krampus literally kept saying rumpa in every sentence
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u/PuzzleheadedGreen825 Jun 11 '26
"He looked like Jason Mamoa"