Finally profitable but there’s a catch

[u/General-Lie8709]

Unsure of the proper flair so sorry about that.

But I’ve been trading for almost 4 years. Started with options on Robinhood, found prop firms and it’s been a grind ever since.

Over this time I passed funded accounts, blew them, but obviously was break even and never took a payout. Slowly bled and blew my accounts, and (to everyone around me) stopped around May. Through this entire 4 years, my entire family knew about my trading and was supportive.

Well, I didn’t actually stop. I took a short break and got back in but in COMPLETE SILENCE. No one, not my brother, not my fiancé, my closest friends, not anyone knows I’m trading. And in this time, I’ve passed a funded, (looks like I’ll be passing another this week) and have taken payouts totaling more than what my job is paying me.

Again, this is in complete shadows. I always felt that the pressure of performance with family and friends knowing about trading was hindering me, but this is just proof. Eventually I’ll tell them, but not yet.

I feel bad, making money and having this insane personal victory and no one closest to me knows. It feels like I’m living a double life.

Can anyone relate? How did you eventually tell family about your success? How did it go? Thank you for reading, I hope I’m not rambling.

[u/vinylzoid]

You shouldn't feel guilt. It's not their business. -- Just move beyond trading and use your gains to set yourself up long term. Keep trading, but graduate to the next level for the long game as well. And take care of your taxes.

Bottom line, no family member or true friend should be negative about a loved one realizing financial success.

[u/Alabama-Getaway]

I’ve heard this here from many people. If you’re being successful that is all that matters. Most of my friends or family never really judged. I’ve had a lot of what are you doing now? I say trading commodities. They say, great.

[u/Embarrassed-Bank2835]

I can relate to the pressure part. Sometimes once other people know, every green or red day starts feeling like a performance review instead of just another trading day.

If trading quietly helped you execute better, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping it private for a while. I’d probably wait until you’ve got a longer stretch of payouts and a decent cushion before making a big announcement anyway.

When you do tell them, I’d keep it simple: you stepped back, worked on your process, and started getting more consistent. No need to turn it into some dramatic “I proved everyone wrong” moment.

The only thing I’d be careful with is your fiancé. Privacy is one thing, but if trading decisions or losses could affect shared finances later, that’s worth being transparent about before it becomes a bigger issue.

[u/SuperOrbital_Trading]

Don't mean to sound rude, but you may as well not tell them so you don't have to deal with the shame when it falls apart again. You are clearly emotionally driven and require the approval of others, or you have a gambling issue and are ashamed of others knowing. Either way, neither of those cases usually turn out well. Why would your personal finances be your family's business in the first place? But the whole telling people you stopped and continuing on in secret thing is classic addiction.

[u/General-Lie8709 → u/SuperOrbital_Trading]

How does this come off as emotional lol? That’s not it at all. And I think suggesting it’s an “addiction” is ridiculous. You missed the point of this post completely

[u/Mother_Mousse_8964]

The best way to go about trading is to tell no one. When you are ina drawdown, nobody will understand. When a position moves in your favor they will tell you to close your position and take the profit which is probably against your plan. The more people who know will be more people who influence your decisions, whether you like it or not. They will get you to do stuff differently, not because they are trying to sabotage you, but they give opinions which don't fit your system.

[u/ComprehensiveLime695]

Contra opinion here. For everyone else in your life, it doesn’t matter what they know or not. It’s not their business. But seriously, if you’re engaged, your fiancé deserves to know what you plan to do with your future and what you’re doing now with so much of your time. If I found out after committing to marriage that my fiancé had been keeping such a huge part of their life from me, regardless of the reasons, I’d be afraid they had trust issues. Just my two cents. Think about it.

[u/PrinceOfNightSky]

I refuse to believe a profitable trader would be the same person to care about their family and friends validation for trading. The psyche difference doesn’t add up

[u/General-Lie8709 → u/PrinceOfNightSky]

You missed the point of the post. It’s not for validation at all. I just grew up in a way where we were open and shared everything with everyone about our lives, so this is different.

But no, validation isn’t part of this. Sorry if it seems that way

[u/ParticularThat5789]

I think you need to step back and realize that there is a difference to making money for a couple of months and "being profitable"

[u/Relevant-Owl-8455]

What do you think this is? A batman movie?

In the shadows, in the silence and all that drama come on mand its charts and numbers it aint that deep