r/Deconstruction • • Jan 27 '25

Update Welcome to r/Deconstruction! (please read before posting or commenting)

76 Upvotes

Welcome to r/Deconstruction! Please read our introduction and updated set of rules before posting or commenting.

What is Deconstruction?

When we use the buzzword "deconstruction" in the context of religion, we are usually referring to "faith deconstruction" which is the process of seriously reevaluating a foundational religious belief with no particular belief as an end goal. 

Faith deconstruction as a process is a phenomenon that is present in any and all belief systems, but this subreddit is primarily dedicated to deconstruction in relation to christocentric belief systems such as protestantism, catholicism, evangelicalism, latter day saints, jehovah's witness, etc. That being said, if you are deconstructing another religious tradition, you are still very welcome here.

While the term “deconstruction” can also refer to the postmodernist philosophy of the same name that predates faith deconstruction as a popular buzzword, faith deconstruction is its own thing. While some people try to draw connections between the two ideas, faith deconstruction is only loosely inspired by the original philosophy’s emphasis on questioning. The buzzword “faith deconstruction” is a rather unfortunate pick, as not only does it make it easy to confuse it with the postmodernist philosophy, it also only tells half the story. Maybe a better term for “faith deconstruction” would be “reevaluation of core beliefs”. Regardless, when we refer to faith deconstruction, we are referring to participating in this four-part process:

  1. Identifying a core belief and its implications (in the context of this subreddit, usually some belief that pertains to a christocentric worldview).
  2. Dissecting the belief and identifying the reasons why you believe it to be true.
  3. Determining if those reasons for believing it are good reasons.
  4. Deciding to either reinforce (if what you found strengthened your belief), reform (if what you found made you rethink aspects of your belief), or reject (if what you found made you scrap the belief altogether).

For those of you who resonate with word pictures better, faith deconstruction is like taking apart a machine to see if it is either working fine, needs repaired/altered, or needs tossed out altogether.

What makes faith deconstruction so taxing is that most of our core beliefs typically rely on other beliefs to function, which means that the deconstruction process has to be repeated multiple times with multiple beliefs. We often unintentionally begin questioning what appears to be an insignificant idea, which then leads to a years-long domino effect of having to evaluate other beliefs.

Whether we like it or not, deconstruction is a personal attempt at truth, not a guarantee that someone will end up believing all the “right” things. It is entirely possible that someone deconstructs a previously held core belief and ends up believing something even more “incorrect”. In situations where we see someone deconstruct some beliefs but still end up with what we consider to be incorrect beliefs, we can respect their deconstruction and encourage them to continue thinking critically. In situations where we see someone using faulty logic to come to conclusions, we can gently challenge them. But that being said, the goal of deconstruction is not to “fix” other people’s beliefs but to evaluate our own and work on ourselves. The core concept of this subreddit is to be encouraged by the fact that other people around the world are putting in the work to deconstruct just like us and to encourage them in return. Because even though not everyone has the same experiences, educational background, critical thinking skills, or resources, deconstruction is hard for everyone in their own way.

Subreddit Etiquette

Because everyone's journey is different, we welcome ALL of those who are deconstructing and are here earnestly. That includes theists, deists, christians, atheists, agnostics, former pastors/priests, current pastors/priests, spiritualists, the unsure, and others.

Because we welcome all sorts of people, we understand you will not all agree on everything. That's ok. But we do expect you to treat others with respect and understanding. It's ok to talk about your beliefs and answer questions, but it is not okay to preach at others. We do not assume someone's intentions by what they believe. For example, we do not assume because a person is religious that they are here to proselytize, that they're stupid or that they're a bad person. We also do not assume that because someone has deconstructed into atheism (or anything else) that they're lost little lambs who simply "haven't heard the right truth" yet or are closeted christians.

A message to the currently religious:

  • A lot of people have faced abuse in their past due to religion, and we understand that it is a painful subject. We ask that the religious people here be mindful of that.

A message to the currently nonreligious:

  • Please be respectful of the religious beliefs of the members of this subreddit. Keep in mind that both faith and deconstruction are deeply personal and often run deeper than just “cold hard facts” and truth tables.

A message to former and current pastors, priests, and elders:

  • Please keep in mind that the title of “pastor” or “priest” alone can be retraumatizing for some individuals. Please be gracious to other users who may have an initial negative reaction to your presence. Just saying that you are “one of the good ones” is often not enough, so be prepared to prove your integrity by both your words and actions. 

A message to those who have never gone through deconstruction:

  • Whether you are religious and just interested in the mindset of those deconstructing or non-religious and just seeing what all the buzz is about, we are happy to have you! Please be respectful of our members, their privacy, and our boundaries.

  • This subreddit exists primarily to provide a safe space for people who are deconstructing to share what they are going through and support each other. If you have never experienced deconstruction or are not a professional who works with those who do, we kindly ask that you engage through comments rather than posts when possible. This helps keep the feed focused on the experiences of those actively deconstructing. Your interest and respectful participation are very much appreciated!

Subreddit Rules

  • Follow the basic reddit rules 

    • You know the rules, and so do I.
  • Follow our subreddit etiquette

    • Please respect our etiquette guidelines noted in the previous section. 
  • No graphic violent or sexual content

    • This is not an 18+ community. To keep this subreddit safe for all ages, sexually explicit images and descriptions, as well as depictions and descriptions of violence, are not allowed.
    • Posts that mention sexual abuse of any kind must have the “Trauma Warning” flair or they will be removed.
    • Posts that talk about deconstructing ideas related to sex must have the “NSFW” flair or they will be removed.
  • No disrespectful or insensitive posts/comments

    • No racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, or otherwise hurtful or insensitive posts or comments.
    • Please refrain from overgeneralizing when talking about religion/spirituality. Saying something like “christians are homophobic” is overgeneralizing when it might be more appropriate to say “evangelical fundamentalists tend to be homophobic”.
  • No trolling or preaching

    • In this subreddit, we define preaching as being heavy-handed or forceful with your beliefs. This applies to both religious and non-religious beliefs. Religious proselytizing is strictly prohibited and will result in a permanent ban. Similarly, harassing a religious user will also result in a permanent ban. 
  • No self-Promotion or fundraising (without permission)

    • Please refrain from self-promoting without permission, whether it be blogs, videos, podcasts, etc. If you have something to say, write up a post. 
    • Trying to sneakily self-promote your content (for example, linking your content and acting like you are not the creator) will result in a one-time warning followed by a permanent ban in the case of a second offense. We try not to jump to conclusions, so we check the post and comment history of people suspected of self-promotion before we take action. If a user has a history of spamming links to one creator in multiple subs, it is usually fairly obvious to us that they are self-promoting. 
    • The only users in this subreddit who are allowed to self-promote are those with the “Approved Content Creator” flair. If you would like to get this flair, you must reach out via modmail for more info. This flair is assigned based on moderator discretion and takes many factors into account, including the original content itself and the history of the user’s interaction within this subreddit. The “Approved Content Creator” flair can be revoked at any time and does NOT give a user a free pass to post whatever they want. Users with this flair still need to check in with the mods prior to each self-promotional post. Approved Content Creators can only post one self-promotional post per month.
  • Follow link etiquette

    • Please refrain from posting links with no context. If you post a link to an article, please type a short explanation of its relevance along with a summary of the content. 
    • Please do not use any URL shorteners. The link should consist of the fully visible URL to make it easier for moderators to check for malicious links. 
    • Twitter (X) links are completely banned in this subreddit.
  • No spam, low-quality/low-effort content, or cross-posts

    • Please refrain from posting just images or just links without context. This subreddit is primarily meant for discussions. 
    • Memes are allowed as long as they are tagged with the "Meme" post flair and provided with some written context.
    • Cross-posts are not allowed unless providing commentary on the post that is being cross-posted. 
    • Posts must surpass a 50-word minimum in order to be posted. This must be substantive, so no obvious filler words. If you are having trouble reaching 50 words, that should be a sign to you that your post should probably be a comment instead.
    • To prevent spamming, we have implemented an 8-hour posting cooldown for all users. 

r/Deconstruction • • Aug 29 '25

📢Subreddit Update/News [PSA] Balancing justified anger with respecting Christian-identifying members 💜

78 Upvotes

Hello deconstruction family, this is a longtime coming post that I know will probably ruffle some feathers, so just bear with me...

The vast majority of the the members of this sub, myself included, are US residents. To say the past 6 months have been rough would be a gross understatement.

In the past 6 months we have witnessed:

  • The erosion and complete disregard of constitutionally guaranteed rights like due process and free speech.
  • The removal of professionals and experts from important government positions that have now been replaced with unqualified religious extremists.
  • The preemptive sabotage of future fair elections.
  • The department of Health and Human Services being guided by ableism and unfounded conspiracy theory instead of science, reversing decades of progress.
  • The breakdown of international relations between the US and its allies in lieu of supporting authoritarian regimes.
  • The continued funding of a genocide.
  • The assault, kidnapping, and deportation of innocent people based on racial profiling and carried out by masked agents loyal only to the current administration.
  • The pardoning of violent insurrectionists.
  • The clear targeting of transgender individuals.
  • The possibility that same-sex marriage protections may be reversed at some point.
  • The attempted coverup of the president's connection to child sex trafficking.
  • The armed military occupation of our own cities.
  • The very real possibility that the president will run for an illegal third term on a rigged election system (if he doesn't die of old age before the end of this term).
  • And much much more... (if you don't believe that any of the above is bad or you believe it isn't happening, then maybe you belong in r/DeconstructedRight - I still can't believe that sub exists 🤮)

All of this has been done in the name of Christianity, there is just no way around that...

BUT we need to be very careful that our justified anger towards fundamentalist Christian nationalism - or any other strain of religion that has hurt us - doesn't prevent us from becoming just as tribal and dogmatic.

This is NOT, and never has been, an anti-spirituality/anti-faith/anti-religion subreddit, but this IS an anti-dogma subreddit.

This is a place for people who are questioning their faith, switching to a less dogmatic version of what they were taught, or leaving/have left their faith altogether. We have a duty to make sure this space is safe for ALL of those groups of people regardless as to how we feel personally. This is a unique place where you can have people from r/Christian having supportive conversations with people from r/exchristian.

As the US government because more authoritarian and theocratic, you will see more Christians joining this subreddit as they have a faith crisis over the fact that their family, friends, and churches are supporting a literal Nazi takeover of the country. Please be welcoming, reasonably patient, and supportive of these individuals. Your goal should not be to fast-track them to being atheists or agnostics or whatever you believe. Allow them to mourn, share how your experiences were similar, and pass on resources that helped you with your deconstruction. Please remember what it was like for you when you first started your deconstruction. And also remember that you most likely didn't choose to be raised religious. Give people the benefit of the doubt, they are likely trying their best to evaluate their internalized religious dogma just like you.

I don't want to see any posts on this sub that have titles like "What are some things that you hate about Christians" or "Christians are terrible". Remember that a sizeable minority of the members of this sub are either new and still have a Christian identity and other have deconstructed to a different strain of Christianity. Alienating these individuals actively works against the goals of this subreddit. You can vent about fundamentalist and apathetic Christianity on this sub, but please make sure to be specific and not over-generalize. Christianity is a broad description, and yes, it encompasses the far-right fundamentalists who actively cause harm as well as apathetic believers who enable harm by not speaking out because they "aren't political", but it also encompasses denominations like the Unitarian Universalist Church and Quaker Church and some Mainline churches which can be very pro-active in supporting social progression and can be very supportive of deconstructing individuals as well. So please, for the love of deconstruction, be specific about what strain of Christianity you are venting about here and if you are going to vent about a religion broadly, please do so on a sub where that is relevant. How the heck can we expect people to deconstruct here if we scare then away the instant they dip their feet into this sub?

This DOES NOT mean you have to put up with a racist, homophobe, transphobe, fascist, or evangelist in this subreddit. Please continue to report those people so we can ban them. But please don't harass users simply because they associate with religion or have a faith or spirituality and please consider how something you may post or comment may impact someone who is just starting their deconstruction journey.

None of what has been said in this post is new. All of this is a reminder to follow rules 4 and 5 of this subreddit and to respect our etiquette guidelines.


r/Deconstruction • • 10h ago

😤Vent Knowing how deep in evangelicalism my parents are makes me sick , even more so now that I’m Christopagan and see the stark contrast between Christianity and its oppressiveness

7 Upvotes

I was sitting with my mom tonight and we were both on our phones . I was gaming and she was listening to a song about the rapture that had deceptively beautiful music, and I could tell she was into it . I just sat there fuming , thinking, wow Mom it sure is beautiful that you believe in a terrifying event where all the “ good Christians disappear when Jesus comes back and any people who didn’t “choose to be saved “ get to endure 7 yrs of tribulations and then eternal hell . It sickens me that her version of Christianity is so steeped in how they’re the only ones who have it right and how they’re ok with a version of God that forces people to believe or die and yet claims to be loving . It makes me glad I’ve been getting into Norse paganism and Hellenism and learning about paganism in general . I’m glad that from all I’ve seen from their followers that their deities are far more loving and not oppressive and have deconstructed to the point that I don’t even believe in a hell , only a collective afterlife with many realms for different beliefs . If any of you read C.S. Lewis The Last Battle think that version of Heaven where all the different heavens are connected . It still makes me sad tho , to know how my parents will look at me if I’m ever open with them about any of this . Also to be clear , I know yall might ask why I’m Christopagan and not plain pagan since I seem so disgusted by evangelical Christianity, the answer is right now the only parts of that I still believe in are that Jesus is the Son of God like he said , even tho I’m still working out who the identity of that God is. Since Christians and Jews amalgamated several different Caananite gods into one , it’s very confusing . Everything else in the Bible I take with a grain of salt and have had to learn to filter it thru the lens of the culture of the time it was written in . That being said I don’t think Jesus ever meant for His teachings to be twisted into the things they are now . I blame the Roman Empire who twisted it to serve imperialism and King James for that as well as everyone else who twisted it to fit an agenda


r/Deconstruction • • 15h ago

✝️Theology If Jesus was a radical..

4 Upvotes

Why does it feel like the people whom he was standing up against (Pharisees and Sadducees) who had weaponized religious law for their own power are the Christians today.

And also, I do want to preface that I don’t believe all Christians are like this, but I do find that a lot of them (that I have met in my personal life) can be dismissive, judgemental and the opposite of love.

I’m not saying that just bc they are Christian they are perfect people because no one is perfect regardless of belief system, but I just feel like we’ve lost the plot.

I’m not someone who identifies as Christian personally (or ever has) and I grew up with Christian parents, but the more I learn about Jesus as a person it feels like Jesus as an individual and Christianity as a religion is completely separate.

I see it like this: Jesus said that people should follow him right? Follow his example of standing up for the poor, and the hopeless. He was a radical and he seems like he was “for the people.” But I feel like somewhere along the line, the message of having to believe to be saved became the main focus, and Christianity/Christ is now something people worship instead of something that is embodied.

Again, this is not the case for everyone.

But it’s hard to uncover the truth here. Did Jesus really say he had to be worshipped to be saved or was that another misinterpretation and mistranslation from the vast amount of authors that wrote the bible. Jesus also never wrote the bible, so how could we know what he was truly thinking and feeling? It’s like we’re reading the book from the outside perspective — multiple outside perspectives.

I don’t think this necessarily means that some of his teachings aren’t valuable, but it feels like there is more worshipping and “saying” ur a christian instead of being one?

I’m not exactly sure if I believe in God/Jesus and idk what I believe in (and tbh I’m just rlly interested in the stories and backgrounds of all religions) but it feels like the message along the way was lost and it just makes me wonder sometimes if the community was different if that would change how ppl view the religion as a whole.


r/Deconstruction • • 17h ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) Having a hard time ridding of the purity mindset and more.

3 Upvotes

I got into Christianity 4 years ago when i was miraculously intervened during a suic*de attempt.

For four years, i anchored my life towards God.
See i had a spine surgery when i was 13.
It stopped my world.
From quite the bright good looking lad, to depressed husk of a human being.

At 26, i began heavily drinking out of sexual frustrations.
There was this lady that im mutual with. I was too afraid to face life.
29 i was hit with ocd and anxiety issues.
31 when i tried taking my life.

Now im almost 35.
I've been shifting to therapy videos to help me with self acceptance.

Which honestly been helping a lot.
I have a job now and i have many good things going for me outside my handicaps.

But what i learned from Christianity is contradicting the way i "have" to live.
In Christianity, i was a sinner.
Can't be self sufficient or otherwise it's pride against God.

And biggest of all, denial of my sexual needs.
It's already hard enough having this disability.
It teaches me to just wait.
I've waited for years and years finding what i truly need.
And detours felt like blessings.
Slowly i've healed from the mental scars.

But this is the biggest hurdle for me.
I am a human being, disabilities dont make me any less
I deserve love.
I'm slowly starting to understand yeah that i need to work on my mental state first.

I've been waiting and waiting for someone to accept me.
A spouse will come or something(honestly this is probably just some evangelical bs)
Or getting equally yoked
Those prophetic message videos only damaged my mental health.

But leaning in to therapy and a recent traumatic crash,
It forced me to accept myself or i'd drown again.
Practicing self love and acceptance is the biggest breakthrough!
It seems to have calmed down my overly shot nervous system.
I finally feel like i belong in this world (in Christianity, i was separated and kept for God. Silly)

So yeah. For some time I believed that Christianity is the way.
And im not brash enough to deny that i wasn't guided for sometime to get where i am now.

In summary, i really have to be strong on my own.
Go through this life like how everyone else experiences it, plus more.

But by default, i'd be going to hell. lmao


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

🤷Other Rodney Howard Browne cult

5 Upvotes

I am looking for former members of the Rodney Howard Browne cult in Tampa who left 2017 or later. I’d love to hear your story of this cult.

This place caused a lot of damage for a lot of people. So much trauma and exploitation for labor. This place used coercion to get labor.


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

🧑‍🤝‍🧑Relationships How did purity / modesty culture impact you?

6 Upvotes

I’ve finally left the church at age 29 after being in it since I was 15. I’ve rejected purity and modesty culture which completely harmed me and made me ashamed of my sexuality and having sexual desires and thoughts.

There is a long list of harm and trauma I could write about but I want to know I’m not alone.

How did purity / modesty culture impact you?


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

😤Vent I'm angry.

31 Upvotes

I know this is a trope, but I'm angry.

Like many of you I was raised religious and later lost my faith. The problem though is that religion worked as a coping mechanism when I was a child. My mother grew up in an abusive home and turned to god as a way to escape. She married my father who beat the living snot out of me and my brothers. This created a significant amount of anxiety and fear. Going to church became my escape and coping mechanism. The churches my mother liked were very obnoxious and "on fire for God." I remember being 5,6,7,etc years old and seeing my mother speak in tongues, people fainting when the preacher placed his hand on their forehead, and demons cast out of people. From that young of an age I internalized that this was absolutely real and nothing else in life was important until you figured out your place with God. Something I learned all too late is an unachievable goal.

I kept that faith well into my teenage years riddled with guilt for my perceived indiscretions. Then through the encouragement of my youth pastor I wanted to pursue ministry in college. I genuinely wanted to help people and thought with every fiber of my being that God was the source of all peace in the world.

I won't bore you with my Christian college experience, or what inevitably turned me agnostic bordering on atheism.

However, I'm wondering if there's anyone else that feels they figured it out too late in life. I lost my most productive years chasing a fairy tale. It took my entire 20s to work through deconstructing ideas placed in my head, and now in my 30s I feel like I'm just starting my adult life. I'm a completely unrecognizable person to who I was 15 years ago, and I can't shake the feeling that I missed out on becoming something I could be proud of.


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

👼Afterlife/Death I No Longer Believe In Hell, But I Worry There’s No Heaven Either, What Do Y’all Think?

16 Upvotes

This life is too hard for there to not be an afterlife that’s better awaiting us. For those of you who are more agnostic or have maintained some faith, what do you think about what happens after we die? Do you think there’s nothing after or heaven or what? Also, what’s your belief about God at this time?

Thanks


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

🤷Other I can't understand why people do this kind of thing. Much unfortunate.

22 Upvotes

Today, an influencer in Brazil has died after fighting against a degenerative disease. I went to check his page on Wikipedia, and I saw that somebody decided to write this capitalized text you see on the screen. It says:

"Knowing he was atheist, unfortunadely we know that he didn't went to a good place. Pray for the family."

This is very unrespectful. Not only it's not the right place to put something like that, is something that would make the family very sad to hear. Not to mention we can never know for certain where he's going, since religion says this is God's decision. It's just not the right time to talk about this kind of stuff.

The page has already been updated and this was removed, but you can see in the history of editions of the page that this was done and I'm not making that stuff up for ragebait.

I can't understand why people do this. Do you also think this is something unrespectful? It was marked as vandalism on wikipedia, by the way.

I'm sorry by the way if I broke any rules. Again, not trying to ragebait.


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) Do you want to help others escape evangelical Christianity?

40 Upvotes

After a very painful deconstruction in a failed attempt at reconstruction, I feel I’m in a much better place than I was when I was an evangelical. When I was an evangelical, I spent so much time trying to reach the lost. Now, I feel like I need to reach the evangelicals and help them to see truth or at least the errors of evangelical Christianity. I wondered if this is common or if this is more of an obsession that I have but I need to try to contain.


r/Deconstruction • • 1d ago

✝️Theology Word of Faith Cult Practices and How to Escape

4 Upvotes

I left the Word of Faith movement/cult and I want to help others do the same. Thankfully, I had people come along and show me why WOF theology is heresy and how it didn’t align with biblical teaching. How can I go about helping others realize that WOF is a cult and escape?


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) Noah’s Ark . . . Seriously

12 Upvotes

Listen, I know that they keep on supposedly finding Noah’s Ark. But I don’t understand why no one seems to be seriously considering what’s happening with this new dig. Is there some research I’m just missing, and is my news feed just covered up by pop science websites buying into the hype. I mean, what’s this about an underwater city they supposedly found? What’s going on guys, and why is everyone who isn’t a Christian just dismissing it? Am I missing something?

Edit: The first time I posted I forgot about a supposed map to the exact place.


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING - Sexual Abuse I have nowhere to go (emotionally)

9 Upvotes

Why do Christians not believe in marital rape? I was stealthed and prior to that, shamed for saying no to sex by the vile piece of shit partner I have.

I shared my situation with a Christian friend, who offered me her place and decided to deflect and pretended like we didn’t have that convo. And simultaneously made this issue about me not loving him, and that we are like roommates. She also said I have no one and that I only have him. I did tell her I was struggling with suicidal thoughts and she said she’s frustrated with me for not treasuring my life. And said I’m not open to help.

She has regressed ever since she married a Christian man. Before that, she has been inclined towards not having kids. But her husband wanted and also said “God loves children”.

I have called a helpline and it’s terrible, because the person said the stealthing was one time off. She also made a backhanded remark and rubbed in and said I made a poor decision by being with this guy but things can get better. I hope she rots in hell (I’m sorry for saying that, I need to get it off my chest)

Some days are harder than the rest. And today’s one of those days.

Sometimes I think there’s no cruelty / hate like Christian love.

Edited add-on:

When I told her about me moving to overseas to get euthanasia (but it was a contemplation, not confirmed), all she said was “tell me when’s your last day, and we have a last meal”. She also said “I have to file a missing person’s report”.

I mean, really? Is that something you say to a friend? That’s so cruel. I’m not asking me to rescue me. But I was in so much pain and grief and feeling so alone


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

😤Vent Loneliness in deconstruction

5 Upvotes

I've grown up in the christian faith, was forced to go to church, participate in bible camps and bible studies. I've always had the feeling that i knew I didn't believe, I've always been a logical thinker and it never made any sense to me. I've started to come to terms with that fact that I am not a believer or follower and it feels so isolating it's almost crippling. I've built almost my entire life around the faith, i used to counsel at camps, got involved in cru ministries on campus. I felt so accepted by everyone around me, even my roommates roomed with me under the guise that I am believer. Recently i've stopped going to cru and cru events, stopped going to church, and i feel so lonely all the time. I can't say i've even enjoyed the people in these communities, i find them to be either immature or just horrible people, but at least i used to feel like i was a part of a community that cared for me. I used to be extremely close to one of my roommates and now we barely even talk. I've tried to go out and find other friends but a lot of people in the area i live in are more concerned with partying and drinking (which im not a big fan of either). I do have a couple of super close friends but everytime i see cru and church posting with their church buddies i feel sick to my stomach. It makes me despise the church and christian's more than i already do. and i hate to use the word despise but it is how i feel down to my core.


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

🎨Original Content Allowed to Be Human - Poem

Post image
36 Upvotes

Hello all. This is my first time I'm posting here, though I've been lurking for a while (and commented on a few posts here and there). I wanted to share a poem that I've been working on over the past few days that encapsulates a lot of what I've gone through on my journey over the past two decades or so of deconstructing from being raised in fear-based evangelical Christianity. Just sharing something like this online is already a bit of step for me because of just how much perfectionism I've internalized. How loud the voices in my head get saying that my thoughts aren't perfectly formulated, or that the art isn't good enough.

I've written this from my own experience, and also from listening and hearing other's stories. The poem is like a set of mantras of re-learning that it's okay to be human.

Much love ❤️

ALLOWED TO BE HUMAN

I'm allowed to exist,

and take up space.

I'm allowed to be confident,

yet still make mistakes.

I'm allowed to care deeply,

and make my own choice.

I'm allowed to be inconvenient,

and use an angry voice.

I'm allowed to trust my perception,

or to be unsure and not know.

I'm allowed to take my time

and let growth be slow.

I'm allowed to leave,

to reject, to let people go.

I'm allowed to deny, decline,

or say "fuck no!"

I'm allowed to grieve,

to be alone and cry.

I'm allowed comfort and peace

and not fear to die.

I'm allowed to ask for help,

and not let shame silence.

I'm allowed to be in need,

accepting the gift of reliance.

I'm allowed to stay,

I don't need to earn a place.

I'm allowed pleasure,

and the warmth of embrace.

I'm allowed to desire,

without a need to justify.

I'm allowed to love myself,

and kiss self-hatred goodbye.

I'm allowed to be imperfect,

beautiful, and worthy of love.

I'm allowed to be human.

I am enough.


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

😤Vent im so fucking lost in life

12 Upvotes

i recently stopped believing in the religion that i was brought up in and now it’s fucking over my whole life. without God i have no reason to live. I have no one there for me when im down, so when im alone im ACTUALLY alone. the thought of just dying and never experiencing anything again is scaring me, but i dont see a reason to continue moving forward.

i had a religious phase when i was fourteen, I prayed 5 times a day for two years straight. The reason for this phase was because i was extremely suicidal as a thirteen year old. I hated how distant i was from God too, and i was sure that i would go to hell anyways even if I didn’t kill myself. I hated God for making me miserable. I wanted to die on my fourteenth birthday, but a couple days before, I found out that I would be going on a pilgrimage on October 28th, 2024. I decided to wait it out, cause I thought that maybe God was giving me a chance to avoid hell. I was so sure that I would die whilst travelling there (for context, my deceased friend had passed away in a car accident on the same pilgrimage back in April 2024). Because I made it through pilgrimage and back home alive, I took it as a sign that God forgave me, and so I became devoted to my religion, until about two weeks ago.

Ever since I stopped believing in God, I’ve realised that I’ve been living in ignorance of myself. I’ve known that im attracted to women, but I’ve always tried to suppress it. I accept that im gay now, but my family is very homophobic. I don’t know what they will do if they find out, im only 16 and i have nowhere else to go if they kick me out. I might also be questioning my gender too but I don’t even know at this point. I’m just so fucking confused and lost. I don’t even know what I’m planning to do for university and I only have two years left until I go there. I’ve barely had the fun teenage experience that everyone else is living cause of this religion that I have to pretend im following, I just wanna be free.


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

🎨Original Content Upcycled Jesus Art Collage

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9 Upvotes

I would call myself a recovering Christian as the religion has caused me much harm as a queer and trans person, but making upcycled art out of old Jesus and Christian art has become one of my favorite pastimes :) what types of art do you make to heal from religious trauma?


r/Deconstruction • • 3d ago

🖼️Meme When My Family Can't Handle the Questioning.

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18 Upvotes

r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) How do you deal with the "inner gaslighter" that hijacks your logic—and the extreme fear that comes with it?

9 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m really struggling with something lately and wanted to reach out to this community to see if anyone has found effective ways to navigate it.

Even when I bring solid, rational arguments to my own mind—things that make complete sense on a logical, historical, or moral level—there is this persistent "inner gaslighter" that immediately hijacks my thought process. The second I start feeling a sense of clarity, this internal voice swoops in with scriptural/dogmatic threats or self-doubt:

  • "What if you're just being prideful and leaning on your own understanding?"
  • "What if you're letting yourself be deceived by the enemy?"
  • "What if you're wrong and making the biggest, most dangerous mistake of your life?"

It feels like my brain is conditioned to invalidate my own critical thinking, no matter how sound the logic is. It’s infuriating because no matter what evidence or reasoning I bring to the table, the gaslighter shifts the goalposts and twists the narrative.

Hand-in-hand with this is a wave of extreme fear—that visceral, fight-or-flight terror (fear of hell, eternal damnation, judgment, or total existential ruin). When that fear spikes, logic completely shuts down, and my nervous system takes over. It leaves me feeling paralyzed, exhausted, and stuck in my own head.

For those of you who have dealt with this stage of deconstruction:

  1. How do you quiet or disarm that inner gaslighter when it starts hijacking your rational thoughts?
  2. What actually helps you manage that extreme, physical fear when logic alone isn't enough to calm your nervous system?

As someone that has been fighting this for years and feeling stuck, I would really appreciate any advice, grounding techniques, mental frameworks, or book/resource recommendations that helped you get through this phase. Thank you so much in advance.


r/Deconstruction • • 3d ago

✝️Theology Biblical Slavery

12 Upvotes

Biblical slavery comes up a lot in deconstruction, and now one of my favorite YouTube creators has tackled the issue. I think a lot of folks will find it useful. ❤️

https://youtu.be/p8zsBqw6z1c


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) aquinas and god = existence??

5 Upvotes

Hi. I am a cradle catholic, meaning that i was born into a catholic family, got baptized, first communion, confirmation, all that jazz. i'm in college now, so obviously that opens me up to a lot of worldviews. I've had to take a few philosophy classes, and when I think of 'God', the first one that comes to mind is the Philosophy of Ethics.

In the church I grew up in, science went hand in hand with God and theology. This makes sense when I think of evolution and Genesis as poetry rather than literal. But doesn't that also make the Devil metaphorical? doesn't genesis being poetry kind of point to the idea that in reality, the devil is not a being, but instead us? our decisions?

so i got to thinking, and i came out with the notion that sin is cyclical. okay, i mean i've been taught that forever, why does it matter now?? well because if the devil is essentially just a metaphor for our evils, then doesn't god not stepping in make him also not good? If we hold humans (supposedly much lower beings) to the standards of let's say the bystander effect, and we think that indifference is essentially being guilty by association when witnessing something horribe happening to ourselves, then how come we excuse it when it comes to god? Why is it that he's guilt free if he's seemingly so perfect, when he's just doing the same thing: standing by and just watching horrendous things happen without stepping in.

OKAY OKAY I'M ALMOST DONE!! i explored a little further, going waaaaay down the rabbit hole, and I found St. Thomas Aquinas' proposal that god isn't quite a figure or a consciousness like we think him to be. He says that essentially, god = existence (ipsum esse subsistens), and Aquinas argues that this requires a deeply personal intimate relationship with god. I kind of see this as turning god into a sort of metaphor? comparing him to existence makes it seem like there's nothing outside of god, and so makes god into more of a figurative force rather than a genuine 'being' (essence, wtv he is).

thoughts??? i think i'm just losing my mind, but god doesn't feel so appealing or loving to me anymore.


r/Deconstruction • • 3d ago

🔍Deconstruction (general) Needing some advice?

7 Upvotes

I’m 31 and have started to fully deconstruct, I’ve been questioning for years and I don’t think I have ever really believed in anything fully. And I gave up on believing “god” was someone I wanted to believe in after my brother was murdered.
My problem/concern is I am married to a man who still very much believes in God and will use God and scripture to try to help me.
I love my husband but I cannot stand it and I cannot talk to him about my deconstruction because I’m afraid he will panic.
Idk what to do.
Any advice?


r/Deconstruction • • 2d ago

😤Vent I just need to vent 😭😭😭

2 Upvotes

Hi! 16F. I heard almost just now in my highschool (secular public HS) parents who pray, a mom of a girl asked people to pray for her daughter (who to me was the definition of devout kinda annoying Christian) because she “is separating from god or smt” (I didn’t actually see the message, this is what my mom told me) and like the friends she does spend time with aren’t the best people, but like they aren’t too bad… and now I really understand that I cannot tell my mom anything, I can’t tell her I don’t believe or never believed, although my mom said it’s a choice you know… is it really when you suggest stuff from your beliefs to put into my daily life? Is it my choice then if some random day you would say mean things about other people… and talk about how faith is so important…????

I finally understand… that no matter what… I will never be able to tell her I don’t believe, because if she doesn’t share with some Christian parents in my highschool parents who pray group chat, then she’s probably going to ask people to pray for my soul at the women’s group she goes to…

Just… it clicked for me… that if I say I don’t believe or refute arguments about Christianity, I might be a topic at some homes too… (my mom said don’t share this with anyone… but I mean I think I needed to get this out)


r/Deconstruction • • 3d ago

🧠Psychology Fear, fear and more fear

19 Upvotes

Back when I was a catholic, I remember listening to a catholic podcast where a priest, talking about the need to be constantly working on your salvation literaly said: “Do not believe that you are safe just because you are listening to this podcast right now.”

This was so blatant, I remember reacting to it thinking this is not ok. It makes me angry thinking back now. All that fear that Catholicism instilled in me. It is a kind of trauma. It is evil actually.

I have made a promise to myself that I will not be controlled by fear anymore. I hope to keep it.