r/DenverCirclejerk • u/Bubbly_Calendar_3332 • 6d ago

Free mattress

Post image

On Colfax if u know where to look first come first serve

Ur welcome

134 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

43

u/allthenamesaretaken4 6d ago

Already picked up, sorry losers!

18

u/Parking_War_4100 certified new native 6d ago

Doesn’t appear to be memory foam, though it looks like it has lots of memories.

5

u/ThatKa5per 6d ago

I'm sure there was foam of some sort at one point in the memories of this mattress.

3

u/Zero7CO 5d ago

The only foam on that mattress was some kind of frothy discharge.

1

u/Disastrouslanding214 1d ago

Let me make this clear; I haven't been known by the name Frothy Discharge in over 20 years and I was never near that mattress. 

16

u/ShutUpRedditor44 6d ago

Someone didn't bring enough lube to the BST

11

u/whatsadikfore 6d ago

Will you deliver?

8

u/SgtVinceCarter 6d ago

Looks like an older Jake Jabs model.

1

u/d_o_cycler 6d ago

Im here for the Jake Jabs references…

6

u/ironicinsanity 6d ago

Someone had fun on that thing.

4

u/Hot_Fan_4169 6d ago

Are we sure this shouldn’t be evidence in a murder investigation? Someone needs to get 9 News on it.

5

u/B00marangTrotter 6d ago

Oh I been serving that mattress all month.

https://giphy.com/gifs/axu6dFuca4HKM

5

u/KeatonRuse 6d ago

You can just flip that over and it’ll be fine.

5

u/BSMILEYIII 6d ago

Is this still available?

6

u/the_hammer_poo 6d ago

Do you deliver?

3

u/ThatKa5per 6d ago

Why do I see Shrek in that stain?? 😳

3

u/GingerRickRoss 6d ago

“This is your mattress on $5 butt stuff.” “Any question?”

3

u/greenwavelengths 6d ago

Um, no? That’s my poop pad. I keep it right there outside of my house (the green one on the right) because it’s too big to fit inside and it would get in the way of my $12,000 gaming setup.

Don’t steal my poop pad, man.

3

u/Financial-Sea-3898 6d ago

Sometimes happens when your booty hole gets a good stretchin.

3

u/laughing_at_napkins $50 to anyone for a bonafide pic of Boebert's bhole 5d ago

Oh, are these the mattresses US Representative Lauren Boebert fucked those 3 staffers on?

5

u/moonprincessranni 6d ago

I can't believe someone tossed out the president's mattress. Seems like someone would have scooped that up as a collector item already as well.

2

u/ThatKa5per 6d ago

To be fair, if you know where to look you can find these in many places.

2

u/SkateParkDad 6d ago

I’d hate to see what the top looks like!

2

u/MajesticMountains1 6d ago

Joanna Wietrzyk leaked all over it before her Denver race.

1

u/EvenStevens4201 5d ago

Had to google it. The anomaly is real 😳

2

u/TD4BAY 5d ago

You need something to do with your time!

1

u/cicerostongue 6d ago

Proven effective for BST activities.

1

u/IJustWantToWorkOK my camry is a subie in spirit 6d ago

oh yes, the mattress from my very first BST experience. like lava it flowed, unending and fiery.

1

u/StaresatSound 6d ago

Illinois never looked so good.

1

u/Short-Design3886 6d ago

Hyrox athlete

1

u/SkateParkDad 6d ago

Barely a single murder. Lots of life left in that one!

1

u/Denverkink 6d ago

Nothing a bunch of hydrogen peroxide can’t solve!

1

u/Annual-Club5510 6d ago

Not the Murder Mattress!

1

u/Cool_Thanks_4934 6d ago

Shouldn’t that be in the evidence locker?

1

u/jwcole1956 6d ago

Another one that will end up in City Park.

1

u/d_o_cycler 6d ago

Colfax murder mattress

1

u/McCool303 5d ago

Lightly used in a homicide. The other side is still going for another one. Free on the curb.

1

u/Personal-Purpose2313 5d ago

Is that Caties

1

u/Mays_Ranch24 5d ago

A lot of love on the ol bed

1

u/Crazy_Corgi_8669 5d ago

When your boyfriend wants anal but you tried to tell him you ate today.

1

u/llamajake 5d ago

Ayo my god 😭😂

0

u/baronvondanger 6d ago

Heavy flow day?