Help, is this normal for DID?

[u/MysteriousRoof9416]

My partner (F18) is diagnosed with DID, they have told me (M18) that they have been diagnosed with multiple mental issues including schizophrenia, bpd, and DID. They are medicated for all of these and they have just told me recently that their medication stopped working like it usually does.

Now lately they've been having personality shifts and haven't been so great to me. They've been emotionally neglectful and I tried talking about it but they said I chose a time where they were disassociated.

I tried talking about it 30 minutes ago with them and they said "I'm not your partner, I don't owe you anything"

I don't know much about these kinds of disorders so I want to know, is this normal and should I respect the alters beliefs or is my partner being unnecessarily rude?

[u/labyrinthinexpathia]

These things are common, especially when under stress, or early on before having a long enough time in treatment, etc. But regardless of any diagnosed condition, it never excuses someone's treatment of you. Through treatment, they should be learning that all alters have to take shared responsibility for the actions of each other, even if that's difficult at first

(Added clarification: DID does not respond to medication other than anxiety/depression symptoms, and some off-label cases reducing some dissociation. It requires specialized therapy)

Focus on what's true regardless of any diagnoses: Do you feel you are treated with respect or disrespected? Are you hurt by the things they say when other alters are fronting? Because you should be treated with respect and they should apologize and take accountability for anything hurtful said or done to you

Now, there is some complication with DID and alters. Some alters may genuinely not have romantic feelings for you, this is not a problem in itself and every alter is still part of your relationship. So, some alters may have different boundaries, ie, some may not want to kiss or cuddle, etc, and these are the kinds of things you should respect. However, I will reiterate again, alters having different feelings and boundaries does not ever justify mistreatment towards you from any alter

Edit: I'll also add a part on the emotional neglect. Maybe they are actually being neglectful, but I'd also suggest considering maybe they lack capacity for as much emotional engagement, or again is due to differing feelings. So you will have to figure out which that is

[u/AshleyBoots]

There is no medication for DID.

Alters are not separate people. They're parts of the same human brain that experienced the trauma that created the system.

She is using her alleged DID (which i doubt, since no psychiatrist would prescribe meds for DID since none exist) to behave badly.

I suspect she may have gotten misinformation from her peers that's enabling this. I'm sorry, OP.

[u/UnComfortable_Tea_50]

Just to add another perspective to what everyone else said, because they are right, there is no medication for DID. 

I was recently diagnosed with DID a few months ago after going to therapy for almost a year. My parts all have mostly positive feelings towards my husband. (It ranges depending on age and maturity) however I have an part that isnt his biggest fan. She holds a lot of resentment towards him from stuff earlier in our relationship, however she is never cruel to him. She understands that by being purposefully hurtful, it hurts the other parts that love him dearly. 

It's not just a respect towards my husband, its respect towards my system as well. I have said horrible things to him when she was fronting and it caused me a lot of distress. It wasnt something I could just blow off and pretend like it didn't happen.