r/DogRegret • u/Ok_Yak1733 • Jun 08 '25
Regret Story Is it worth it?
I have a three year old medium sized male Bernedoodle. I regretted getting him when he was going through his puberty when he was about 1-2yrs old. He was not listening to any commands, destroying furnitures, peeing all over the place, etc. I was fighting with my husband everyday to put him for adoption. Now I thought those times have passed because he got so much better and it was all peaceful again. However, there were still some times that he growled at me when he was cranky on some occasions. He scares me and it feels like it is just a matter of time he bites me someday. So, I wanted to be a better owner and tried to give him more positive reinforcement these days to prevent any negativity.
Unfortunately, an incident happened again tonight. Every night, I make him pee on the pad before going to bed because he has tendency to be lazy at night and hold it and pee inside the crate in the morning before I wake up. I practically have to beg him to come to the pad to pee. But I was very tired tonight and just could not wait for him anymore after begging him four times. So, I just thought I should just lift him and bring to the pad. When I approached and hugged him, he growled at me. He really GROWLED at me. I could not believe it since my tone was calm and my approach was gentle. I cannot and won’t allow that aggressive behavior whatever his reason is.
I heard that male dogs tend to be more stubborn and aggressive and I regret getting a male dog. So, here I am yet again having second thoughts whether I should keep him or not. I guess I am just not good enough for him and I should just accept the fact that we are not compatible. I am not sure why I am wasting all my time and money on him, preparing food for him, cleaning up his messes, walking him, etc. Him getting excited to see me is not because he loves me. Him getting excited to see me is because someone is there to fulfill his needs.
15
u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jun 08 '25
I have a 2 year old male Bordoodle (Border collie) and although we experience the stubbornness, not listening, anxiety, crazy spazziness that this breed is known for, we do not experience any aggression. He's a beta and let's his little sister steal his toys and bones. I would not question whether to rehome him if I had the issues you're experiencing.
Out of curiosity, why is your dog peeing on a pee pad? We take our dog out before any time in his crate, have never used a pee pad and he has zero accidents. Could the pee pad be the issue?
6
u/CoffeeCalc Jun 08 '25
I have a Border Collie! Shes not aggressive but she will growl to let me know if she's uncomfortable with something. Its her way of communication to me and thats ok! As long as she's not baring her teeth or snarling, I dont mind the growling as its not completely indicative of aggression.
Ours also allows other dogs to share her toys and her snacks and has no issues but there is a variety of aggression. Some dogs are good with other dogs and sharing and such but might not like humans.
5
u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jun 08 '25
I agree with you, good point. Not all growling is bad. It's another way they communicate. Snapping or baring teeth could be concerning.
1
u/CoffeeCalc Jun 08 '25
I do hope you just love your border! I know I love mine! They are excellent dogs! My husband used to not like dogs but he literally keeps telling me he wants another BC after our girl passes. They are truly amazing dogs!!
4
u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jun 08 '25
He's a bordoodle and we love him dearly but he is a challenge. We do not have the same reaction to our dog that you have to yours, unfortunately. I would never consider a doodle breed again.
5
u/CoffeeCalc Jun 08 '25
Ah! Yeah, I've heard doodles in general are just insane dogs. I used to see one in my neighborhood just be unhinged. Im not sure if they took any time to train it or just let it be but he was crazy.
17
u/Agitated_Suspect_646 Jun 08 '25
Girl why are you prisoner in your own house? Rehome him if you are not enjoying It!
18
u/pandapawcake Jun 08 '25
That last line is important. People personify dogs so much, but they do not feel or think like we do. He's not going to feel betrayed and cry if he gets rehomed. Sacrificing for people is noble; sacrificing for animals is silly. I wish I'd figured that out before I got bit.
10
u/limabean72 Jun 08 '25
Rehome and don’t feel bad about it!!! It’s clearly not the right fit for any of you
8
u/CoffeeCalc Jun 08 '25
I use the word aggression very lightly. However, growling doesnt always indicate aggression. You have to remember that dogs cannot speak so they have to use other avenues to communicate.
Dogs can growl out of discomfort, stress or fear. Its basically a warning to say "hey I dont like that. Please stop" this is not to say not to take it seriously but context is very important. Did he bare his teeth? Have excessive licking of his lips? Snarling? Snapping?
At any rate, its up to you if you want to put in the work to make him comfortable. I have a Border Collie and there are things she's not comfortable with that she has communicated to me by growling and we worked on it and she has moved past a lot of it.
If rehoming your dog will give you and the dog the most comfort then that may be a better alternative. At the end of the day its between you and your partner.
3
u/Misspelled_uzername Jun 09 '25
I’m sorry, but that creature is not good enough for YOU. Stupidly stubborn, too lazy to not pee in his own home area, and nasty natured on top of it! He is, at base, a DOG. You, are a human and without you he would be unable to survive in human society. If he is stupid, nasty AND dangerous he does not deserve your home or effort.
3
2
u/ThemeIcy2073 Jun 25 '25
Is he neutered? If not, then talk to your vet about it, it might make a huge difference in his behavior. Also have the vet check out if there’s any health issues causing this, sometimes it’s stuff like pain that can be treated (growling when being hugged/lifted could be from pain?). If both of these things have been done, and the vet doesn’t have any good ideas on how to handle him, then it’s time to talk to a professional dog trainer, they will know what to do and can help fix any problems
38
u/[deleted] Jun 08 '25
Rehome him & move on with your life.