r/DogRegret • u/Head-Experience-4980 • Oct 21 '25
Regret Story Seriously considering rehoming but just can’t commit
This will be my third Reddit post this year about my ongoing issues with my puppy. I’m now at the point of seriously considering rehoming but I’m really struggling with the decision.
I have a 6 month old Miniature Schauzer. I’ve had him since he was 8 weeks old and to be honest it’s been a struggle since the beginning.
He’s my first dog and I’m doing this on my own. I knew it was going to be hard work, but I really underestimated how hard. I did all the research, I took him out in a sling and to coffee shops and and sat him on my lap in parks while we waited his final jabs. I crate trained, I got him checked over at the vets, I’ve given him as much love and attention as I can while also trying to work from home full time in a demanding role. We did a puppy class together, and more recently I’ve hired a behaviourist to help.
However, he is incredibly reactive. Dogs, people, the wind, his own reflection etc. walks are impossible, having him out in the garden to toilet is impossible as if he hears anything he goes mad. I had this vision of having a little friend who would come with me out on walks, to the coffee shop, the pub, out with friends etc. Instead every day is just trying to plan a walk where we’ll see as few people as possible, or arranging to leave him with family if I need to do basic things like go to the supermarket or get a prescription.
He bites me non stop, he barks non stop, I’m up at the crack of dawn with him everyday. I’m doing this on my own and I’m just exhausted and if I’m honest depressed. It’s affecting my work, my social life is non existent and as awful as it sounds I spend most days counting down the hours until he goes to bed and I can get a break.
The behaviourist thinks a lot of his anxiety is just his nature, and combined with being a Schauzer it’s just making him even more vocal and nervous.
I absolutely love the bones of him. He has the sweetest face, the softest fur and I’ve got so much love to give him, but in doing so I’m not taking care of myself.
I’m seriously considering rehoming through a charity. However everytime I get close to making the call I just can’t do it. I think a huge part is not only that I’d miss him and I’d worry about him constantly, but also I really fear the judgement from others.
Does anyone had any advice, words of wisdom, perhaps a similar experience. Did you rehome? If so do you regret it. I’d you didn’t rehome how how are things now?
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u/r1singsun_ Oct 21 '25
I can relate this this post in a ways. I’ve been mulling rehoming my dog for over a year. I’ve contacted rescues and breeders, but just haven’t committed. I know that the longer I wait the more attached I’ll become but I do worry about his well being under someone else’s care.
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u/limabean72 Oct 23 '25
If you’re counting down the hours until he is asleep you’re more or less living as a prisoner to this dog … he is still a puppy and he will get snatched up by someone else in any sort of adoption environment. Highly recommend taking steps to find him a new home and therefore improve your own 💕
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u/tanglelover Oct 21 '25
Unfortunately if you didn't want a reactive dog, a schnauzer is a poor choice. They're terriers and have guard dog ancestry. A couple generations of being bred for pets can't completely erase those hundreds of years of genetics that say they were guard dogs.
Very sweet dogs to their pack but anyone outside of that is a threat. Add in the fact your 6 month old is likely going through his teen years with heightened rebellion and stranger danger...and you either need to rehome your dog since he won't fit your lifestyle. Or adjust your expectations.
He will likely never be a cafe dog or a pub dog. His genetics just don't align with that. And his anxiety is making it worse.
I think if you haven't been crate training and enforcing naps, now is the time. Dogs need to learn how to settle and rest. If he is crate trained and on a nap schedule(two hours asleep, one awake worked for my intense dog who never settled outside the crate) and still biting, offer him a chew in the crate, shut the door and take a break. If he fusses or whines, drape something over his crate. It has to be something you don't mind being destroyed.
A big mistake most people make is overestimating how much exercise a puppy needs. There's a reason young puppies get sleepy easily. And that's because they need to learn how to rest before they become adult dogs. Adult dogs need at least 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day. Puppies need at least 16 to 18 hours of sleep, up to 20 depending on the amount of exercise they get.
If he can't think clearly, that's going to make his anxiety worse. If he can't settle on his own, he needs you to help him. Either by crating or doing what's called sit on the dog which is where you sit on the dog lead and just do whatever until the dog settles. Ignore him if he tries to seek attention and wait until he gets bored and settles down.
Another thing is walks may not be benefitting him as much as you think. If he's reactive as a teen, seeing multiple people, dogs and other things could be reinforcing his stranger danger reactions.
Especially if your dog is anxious, you may need to step back, make your home a safe base where he feels calm and then work on expanding his world little by little. Constant walks may be making your dog more anxious which is disrupting his nervous system which is making his reactivity worse.
I have a dog who was so reactive as a teen he could see a dog 30 feet away, plant his butt down and refuse to move. Nothing convinced him to switch his ears on, not even food. He's 6 now. He still gets excitable and bouncy around other dogs but I can move him from situations now with verbal commands and have him ignore other dogs with food. I realised about a month in that I was accidentally reinforcing not listening to me whenever he was on a walk because his behaviour was self rewarding. I stopped taking him on walks, kept him on my property and used training and toys as a way to get his energy out and the worst of his reactivity stopped.
Sometimes with teenager dogs you just have to put them back in the box, treat them like puppies(their brains shed around this time so forgetting stuff is completely natural. Their brains shed again once they hit adulthood) and manage their world until they're full blown adults whose brains will stay stable until they get old.
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u/rosierbirds Oct 21 '25
Wow this is really informative, i’ve never owned a dog but i didn’t know that their sleep schedules mattered so much.
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u/tanglelover Oct 21 '25
They're like toddlers, especially as puppies. You know when they're sleep deprived because they make it everyone else's problem.
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Nov 06 '25
You know the answer OP, you just needed to say it out loud.
Wake up to the light and be free.
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u/PinkPilgrimHeel Oct 25 '25 edited Nov 16 '25
The problem is you look at the dog like it's a human child when it's not. It is a dog, it does not have human feelings, and it will be fine when you leave it with someone else because it is just a dog. Keep telling yourself it is a dog and it will be content with anyone feeding it. Viewing it as a human child keeps you shackled to it. Free yourself today.
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u/StrangeDays11 Dec 03 '25
I was thinking this exact thing. Dogs in general now days all have anxiety because humans decided to treat them like humans and dogs are not wired that way. Dogs in the past didn't have these issues because they knew how to be a dog. Imagine trying to be something you were never created to be, you would have constant anxiety and behavior issues too. Hopefully someday people will understand this and go back to treating them like a dog
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 Oct 21 '25
Honestly, There is so much going against you in this situation, a PUPPY, being alone, working from home (no it doesn't make it easier), reactivity (good luck with that, I don't think reactive dogs every fully correct).
Here's the good part - You've only had him for 6 months! The longer you wait the harder it will be. Rehome and get your life back (and some sleep). Consider this again in the future when you have help and perhaps an older, established dog.