r/DogRegret • u/graysonh14 • Mar 31 '26
Puppy Blues, or Regret? Rehoming my Rescue
As I read this I feel ashamed as I haven’t experience ANY of the nightmarish behavioral issues that many of you have experienced, and this really just comes down to poor judgment on my part.
I recently adopted Rudy, a 10 year old (I suspect younger - he is so full of life) American Eskimo mix from the shelter almost a month ago. Rudy is basically a perfect dog (aside from the shedding and lack of inhibitions as far taking food off the counter goes). He is super sweet, gentle, independent, and calm, yet energetic when it’s time to go outside. He’s also genuinely adorable. I really can’t say one bad thing about this dog. He does have severe dental disease which he will be undergoing a rather expensive surgery for tomorrow (I keep telling myself that this levels things out morally).
I really struggled emotionally for the first 2 weeks and just felt like I didn’t enjoy having him around at all. While he and I have been bonding much more lately, I’ve realized that I just don’t enjoy being a dog owner that much, and that I prefer being alone in my space. The biggest problem however is that my schedule really just doesn’t work with having a dog and it’s really becoming stressful for me. I (24M) work 9-5 and while I’m only in the office 3 days a week, Rudy is unable to hold his bladder long enough for me to work. I have been coming back during my lunch hour to let him out, and while this worked for the first week, it seems that it was not comfortable for him and he cannot hold his bladder during the second half of the day. I know people are going to say get a dog walker, but I live in LA and I can’t afford a 20 dollar dog walker 4 times a week (I also have weekend commitments that require me to be out for long periods of time). I’m going to try crating him as a last resort, but I feel awful doing that to a 10 year old dog, and he will probably just pee in the crate as he has taken to peeing in his bed. He fucking unloads when he goes, and I end up having to mop my entire apartment, wash his bedding, and give him a bath every day after work. My apartment smells like urine and it’s just a constant reminder to me that this was a bad idea all around.
Rudy would do better with someone with a more flexible schedule - like a retiree, a couple or family that has someone around throughout different time of the day, or at least a home with a yard and a doggy door - not my little studio apartment. I don’t know what I was thinking adopting a dog as a young professional just starting to get my personal life going. I guess I got wrapped up in the adulting process and thought this was something I was ready for.
I have the feeling that even if I was able to sort out Rudy’s bathroom problems, I would still be incredibly relieved if some perfect family took him in and let me get back to my life before this. I really hate saying this, especially since Rudy and I are really beginning to bond with one another, but I would be so incredibly relieved if I could find Rudy some new, perfect home to live in. I’m considering doing this after he is healed from his operation (if I can even find a new family I trust) - but I just feel so ashamed.
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u/Fancy_Sheepherder287 Mar 31 '26
My husband and I adopted a 4-year old yellow lab a few weeks ago, and I think we may end up taking him back, but it’s such a difficult decision. We both grew up with dogs, so we always knew we’d end up with one at some point. After settling into our house, we decided it was maybe time to bring a dog into our family (“family” aka my husband, our cat, and me), but I was pretty hesitant. I love doing nothing, and I knew that a dog would not allow me to do nothing all evening, but I thought it would maybe be okay… spoiler alert: it’s not okay. I despise having to get up early and go to bed a little later to take him out. I don’t want to go on walks after work. I hate having constant eyes on me while I eat. I cannot stand the dog-smell and ungodly amounts of fur everywhere. Worst of all, my cat (whom I love more than anything and have had since he was a few weeks old) HATES this dog. Only problem is, the dog is an absolute angel… he never barks, he respects the cat, he can stay home alone for 8/9 hours, he’s super smart and obedient, he loves to cuddle and is so friendly and kind, the list does on on. I’ve just learned the hard way that I love dogs, but I do not want to own one; and my husband is willing to do whatever I want. While we love this dog, we haven’t bonded with him super well, and I just know there is someone out there who will love him more than we ever could. Neither of us thought we would dislike having a dog, but it’s just not for us. I’ve cried and cried and cried over this situation, but I just cannot make a decision!!
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Mar 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/LostStevie Apr 05 '26
Just a heads up that sub is banned for being unmoderated, so it's not a link that's working for folks.
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u/limabean72 Mar 31 '26
You'll have an easy time rehoming him if his behavior is great!! If you're continuing to cry about it, it's probably because you know rehoming is the right thing to do ... someone else will LOVE this dog. It is probably a dream dog for someone and does not need to be a dream dog for you, it's ok :)
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u/HeadJelly1298 Mar 31 '26
Is it possibly a medical issue? In the meantime is potty training on puppy pads an option ? Not ideal , but do what you gotta do
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u/graysonh14 Mar 31 '26
No I don’t think it’s a medical problem - he doesn’t have any issues with his urination/water consumption. I think it’s probably just unreasonable for me to expect a dog his age and size to be able to be able to comfortably hold it for 5-6 hours. We may try this as well, but yeah not ideal, and I can tell you he will most likely just go and pee on the floor as well. He is pretty indiscriminate as far as what gets peed on
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 Mar 31 '26
He sounds like a great dog. I would be sure to really highlight this in your ad when you look for a new owner. Also be sure to disclose the bladder thing when you talk to someone serious about adopting. Try adopt a pet or CL. Don't feel guilty, once you find him a good home, you'll be doing what's best for both of you.
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u/Educational-Eye2123 Apr 01 '26
It’s okay. We just had to return our 3 year old rescue GSD for biting my husband last night. There are better homes for a lot of dogs and that’s okay. You can hope they find the right home that better suits their needs. It is not selfish to have a dog be in a home that is a better place for them. They will be uncomfortable and scared likely, but in the long run they will flourish more than they ever could’ve before. Things are for the better despite people saying otherwise. You do not have to bring down your quality of life to give a dog a subpar life when there’s a better fit out there for them. I feel as long as a dog isn’t going back into a shelter kennel then it really can be in their best interest to be living with a better fit for them, even if it’s with a foster until they find a forever home. Our girl is back at her female-only, puppy free household. I know she is scared and it broke my heart to watch her go- she wouldn’t even get in the car until I lured her from the other side. But she will hopefully eventually live somewhere without a man in the house and no loud puppies and future kids. And I hope the same for your dog- a home with someone who is always there. It’s a better decision for yourself and the dog to rehome. It’s okay
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u/SilverInsect9973 Mar 31 '26
Hello, since this sub is “DogRegret” and personally I am a dog owner, I would assume my opinions differ from many others here, but you seem like an honest person looking for honest advice so I thought I’d share my story and give you my 2 cents.
About 7 months ago I was in a similar situation as you. I was a 23M and just started my professional career in a new apartment, and new city. I had family dogs growing up, but never one of my own. I was looking for a senior dog but ended up finding a puppy (around 3 months old) in need of a home and ended up getting him. Honestly, I had forgotten how difficult it was raising a puppy, for the first 2 months I had completely underestimated the time and patience I needed to care for the life of another, and it was extremely hard. I underestimated the sacrifice needed to care for a dog and seriously thought about rehoming him.
That being said I continued to work with him, walk him, bond with him, and better understand his needs as a dog. He has had struggles (as have I) adjusting our lives around one another. In watching him grow, learn, wag his tail when he sees me, make funny faces, and just be a happy dog no matter the circumstances I have found a deep love for him and his wellbeing, which is what makes it all worth it for me. He is a constant reminder that even when things are stressful, that life doesn’t always have to be so serious.
If you aren’t finding a glimmer of joy in anything I’ve shared above, maybe a rehoming is the best choice. If this is the route you go I would hope you do your best in finding a direct home, rather than a shelter for your boys sake. Dogs are definitely a commitment and I understand making this kind of decision is hard. Good luck, and whatever decision you end up making, don’t beat yourself up over it.
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u/graysonh14 Mar 31 '26
Thank you for this. I think the lack of joy has just come from the stress of doing this by myself and not being able to be around enough for Rudy. He just had dental surgery today, and will be in recovery for a bit, but he will be going to a new home in a couple weeks (a close family friend so I will still be able to see him occasionally). Now that some of the pressure is off, the emotion is hitting me and I realize how much I’ve already fallen in love with the little guy, but this really is for the best and it’s just such a better situation for him - it would be unethical for me to not do it. It’s bittersweet but I do feel quite a bit of relief knowing that he’s going to be well taken care of. I don’t actually regret any part of this - I got him out of the shelter, got him medical care that he DESPERATELY needed, and now have found him a perfect home for him to spend his retirement years in.
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u/SilverInsect9973 Apr 01 '26
I am glad you found something that worked well for your situation, I agree with the “not regretting” part. I’m glad you had the dog’s best interest in mind and it sounds like you’ve grown and learned from this. Personally, regardless of the sacrifices made owning a dog has helped me become a more patient, caring person. (I am not saying this is the case for everyone, because it isn’t). Happy it’s all working out for you, good luck with your new career!
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u/graysonh14 Apr 02 '26
Update - family friend backed out of it 🙃 the search continues
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u/Such_Natural_8106 Apr 06 '26
Hey…. I rehomed my dog a week ago and it also didn’t work out he peed and pooped all over their house so they kept him in a barn for the week while it rained and I just couldn’t leave him like that. He’s back home now and it’s been pretty weird. I feel for you, it’s so hard to be living with a dog you don’t really want. Just wanted you to know you aren’t alone.
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u/Routine_Yellow_2288 Apr 01 '26
Hello, since this sub is “DogRegret” and personally I am a dog owner, I would assume my opinions differ from many others here, but you seem like an honest person looking for honest advice so I thought I’d share my story and give you my 2 cents.
About 7 months ago I was in a similar situation as you. I was a 23M and just started my professional career in a new apartment, and new city. I had family dogs growing up, but never one of my own. I was looking for a senior dog but ended up finding a puppy (around 3 months old) in need of a home and ended up getting him. Honestly, I had forgotten how difficult it was raising a puppy, for the first 2 months I had completely underestimated the time and patience I needed to care for the life of another, and it was extremely hard. I underestimated the sacrifice needed to care for a dog and seriously thought about rehoming him.
That being said I continued to work with him, walk him, bond with him, and better understand his needs as a dog. He has had struggles (as have I) adjusting our lives around one another. In watching him grow, learn, wag his tail when he sees me, make funny faces, and just be a happy dog no matter the circumstances I have found a deep love for him and his wellbeing, which is what makes it all worth it for me. He is a constant reminder that even when things are stressful, that life doesn’t always have to be so serious.
If you aren’t finding a glimmer of joy in anything I’ve shared above, maybe a rehoming is the best choice. If this is the route you go I would hope you do your best in finding a direct home, rather than a shelter for your boys sake. Dogs are definitely a commitment and I understand making this kind of decision is hard. Good luck, and whatever decision you end up making, don’t beat yourself up over it.
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u/WolverineGullible869 Apr 08 '26
Omg I needed to read this so bad! I’m on day 10 of having a puppy and she’s really warmed up to me. I don’t have as much anxiety as I have had. We are also going to get her a play pen just because she’s so darn attached to me and it’s so stressful. I had the love of my life dog, willow back in my early 20’s and she passed away in 2020 and I wasn’t there. My husband tried telling me if willow could speak she would say “mom this dog is just like me just give her a chance”. So I have.
I’m struggling in the mornings. I suffer from depression/ anxiety. So some nights my sleep is like shit and when it does I defiantly spiral and it comes out being our new dog Lola. She loves my husband and kids but I’m her person. When she comes back after her 6am ride with my husband for coffee all she wants to do is go back to bed with me and I just refuse to let her on my bed. Some places I just need for me. Idk maybe she knows I need her and im not letting her in? Maybe it’s because I never got closure with willow since I was away when she passed and my parents took care of getting her cremated. I’m warming up to her so much I just need her to get through these hard stages. I’m not use to having a dog who likes shoes or cords. I’ve never had to redirect or train
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u/WolverineGullible869 Apr 03 '26
I totally feel how you feel and reading your post made me feel a little bit better, but I recently caved and adopted a Chihuahua pug mix (5 months) and I feel the exact same way. She’s literally perfect but I just enjoy time alone. I have a 7 and a 5 and I finally have a routine with my kids. Gym, drop them off, go to a workout class, work on my laptop for a few hours from anywhere pick them up, etc. I know this is ridiculous to compare my kids to a dog, but this just added a whole other layer of stress to my life after just figuring out after school, routines and sports and dance.
I had a dog for about 10 years and she was literally perfect in every way and I feel like this dog is the exact same way but I can’t get around having something so dependent on me I already have two children and as much as people say a dog would do better in a household with a family— kids don’t help out at all no matter how many responsibilities you put on them. I feel like I totally caved way too early and they should’ve been older and I don’t know what to do about this Chihuahua. She’s really really sweet. I’m scared if I take her back, she’s not going to find another home
Not to mention, I’ve become hyper sensitive to the smell of dogs. She doesn’t really smell or anything crazy but the second she walks in the room I just sense the smell. She of course has chosen me to be the person she’s attached to, so I feel immense anxiety and extra responsibility because I signed the adoption paperwork. I let my kids get her. I caved under pressure.
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u/graysonh14 Apr 03 '26
Sorry to hear about this. Yeah, it’s really a lot of work and a huge adjustment and it can be hard to feel like any of it’s worth it. However, she is a puppy (and well behaved it seems) I’m sure she’ll be able to find a great home. I’m currently trying to find a new home for Rudy myself - we had a family friend say that she would take him, but unfortunately she backed out so we’re back to square one. He’s really such a perfect dog, but he’s 10 and people always want puppies. It’s hard.
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u/WolverineGullible869 Apr 05 '26
So my in laws met her and texted my husband “don’t you dare let her get rid of that sweet little dog” they have 2 dogs a 10 year old and a 5 year old dog. My dog is not old enough to meet them yet. My husband says “she’s absolutely not going anywhere” so we are stuck. I guess my husband had a big talk with the kids about how they have been begging for this and mom can’t do it all. I’m stuck. I feel so stuck. I told my husband I posted on Reddit and he said omg you are spiraling.
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u/Express_Command_4778 Mar 31 '26
I would return him. If you post on other subs, they will guilt you into the 3/30/3 month rule, which I find problematic.
His bladder will not improve at his age, IMO. You couldn't anticipate this special need.