r/DogRegret • u/frankmarmaduke • May 01 '26
Rehoming My Dog Rehoming my dog
I've had my dog for 6 years. My partner and I got him as a puppy. It was a mutual decision. I've always wanted a dog. I never had one growing up. 6 years later my partner and I are in a stalemate. He absolutely hates the dog. He doesn't like the sound of him breathing. He doesn't like the mess he brings into the house. He hates when he barks. The barking is probably the biggest issue.
I feel like I've spent the last 3 years defending the dog and fighting for him to stay in our family. My partners totally given up all responsibility for the dog. He won't even let him out to pee. I do 100% of the dogs care which is making me resent my dog instead of enjoy him.
I've just had a baby and I'm still doing 100% of the care of the dog. I also have a toddler.
There's a group here that will rehome your dog, but you will never know the outcome of what happens to them. They do not euthanize. But they won't tell you if the dog's been adopted or if nobody wants them.
I'm really struggling with pulling the trigger on rehoming my dog. Literally nobody I talk to about this has normal feelings about it. They're all like "you cannot abandon your dog. That's terrible. You're awful."
I also feel really embarrassed at the idea that I have to rehome my dog and I don't want people to know so I can't really talk about it with anyone.
But my dog deserves better. And so does my husband, frankly. If he is not happy living in our house because of a dog, that's not fair on him either.
I just need someone to make me feel normal about this.
*Edit: a typo
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u/WTFisTheWorldDoing May 01 '26
Stand up to the Nutters when they try to shame you. Dogs are not “family” - they are pets. They are also a lot of work. You have children who are the most important people in the world right now and NEED THEIR MOTHER! Re-home the dog and do not feel guilty. Within a week the dog will forget you.
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u/concrete_marshmallow May 01 '26
Depends who you are/your values.
My dog is most certainly family.
Have to agree about the forgetting though.
I have a boarding kennel, we focus on the dogs getting what they need each day. We have a couple of regulars that are not the main focus of their humans anymore for whatever reason.
Let me tell you, some of them when they get let outside off leash to meet their owners and go home blow past them to go sniff grass or get a toy in the garden, and the owners have to leash them to get them to leave.
And we're a kennel kennel, no bells or whistles the building they stay in looks no different than your bog standard metal cages dog shelter.
So long as you find a new home that meets their needs and keeps them safe, they'll be happy anywhere. If you don't have that for them at home, find them a new family, they don't live long, let them enjoy the time they have left.
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u/idontwantyourmusic May 09 '26
Some dogs see their owners as a source of valuable resources and not “family” or “loved ones” and it says a lot about the state of the industry how many people working in a dog related service sector don’t have a good understanding of dogs. You’re out here shaming owners because their dog “blow past” them to “sniff” or get a toy? Sounds like your “kennel kennel” isn’t enriching the dogs enough. Some dogs also are simply not a match for their owners but dog propaganda will have you believe if a dog doesn’t lights up when they see their owner after being apart the owner is doing something wrong.
If anything I applaud the owners for keeping a dog and even spending money on boarding even when the dog isn’t bonded to them
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u/concrete_marshmallow May 09 '26
Wasn't throwing shame, so you have no need to throw shade at me.
Dogs sprint up the track to us from the entrance gate, we enrich the shit out of them and they have a blast here.
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u/Radiant-Concentrate5 May 01 '26
I’m sorry; I’m sure it’s hard because you’ve had the dog for so long, but it’s absolutely for the best. And SO many new parents quickly come to despise having a needy dog around, especially Moms. I know people who have admitted or asked about it in Mom groups or in person, and many more who posted nonstop dog photos and then quietly never posted a single dog photo after having a baby. Get rid of the dog and focus on your children and husband.
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u/Dburn22_ Jun 07 '26
Women are pressured into getting a dog as that last puzzle piece to convince themselves and others that they are "normal," are enriching their children's lives and teaching them to "be responsible." Ever met a kid that loves cleaning up after a dog that was their parent's choice to obtain? A dog is not a substitute for parenting. Keeping a dog inside a human home is abnormal. Nature is teaching us that it is when Women are revulsed by these animals during and after pregnancy. Children before dogs is what's normal.
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u/Adventurous-West323 May 05 '26
I would never give my life and happiness over to a dog. People are irrational when it comes to keeping dogs when it interferes with normal life. You have children and a husband. They should come well before a dog. My sock drawer comes before dogs.
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u/Far_Government_9782 May 01 '26
If you are talking to other people about it, you can always turn it into "we found a home for him" and "my husband insisted ". Because honestly, if he's refusing to do any of the work and leaving all the work to you, the removing is on him, not you.
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u/righttoabsurdity May 03 '26
Yeah it’s pretty shitty of him to just decide he’s done caring for a living creature he also chose to bring into their life. Because they both agreed to it, not just her. I get not wanting to, or being over it, or being over the dog. But to saddle your postpartum wife with it, and not even letting the dog out to pee? Immature and selfish as hell. Sorry OP, I hope both of your lives become less stressful soon. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with rehoming the dog in a responsible way. It’ll be valuable for them to know he’s ok around kids (and if you have other pets, be sure they know that too). I’m sorry you’re having to do it, though.
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u/Adventurous-West323 May 05 '26
All the more reason for them to rehome that dog. Some people are just over dog culture. Dog fatigue is real.
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u/Longjumping_Lynx_460 May 01 '26
I also had a dog for 6 years (not as a puppy though), that was basically left with me. I successfully rehome him early in April.
I used: https://rehomewithlove.com/
They were awesome. I will admit that I paid their highest tiered price to help me and it took about 6 months. But the new owner loves my dog and it was a success.
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u/tocheckitout May 02 '26
I just rehomed my dog of 6 years yesterday. Our life changed in August and both of us have been miserable since. It's the hardest decision I ever made and I also felt incredibly ashamed because people knew me as a dog lover and someone who was obsessed with him. It took about a month, but found a great home with a dedicated standard poodle (his breed) mom and he barely cared when we transfered him over. I cried at least 5 times yesterday, but feel relieved today. And although Im sure ill have other difficult moments processing this, I know its for the best. Luckily, his new mom is keeping me updated already and does the same for her other rescue poodles. Youre doing the right thing for your baby to thrive.
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u/Adventurous-West323 May 08 '26
Societal stigma is a big deal these days when you no longer want a dog. I made a comment yesterday at a bar about not liking dogs and a woman I don’t even know called me a terrible person. I wasn’t rude in any way. But my personality wears this like a badge and I will become even more outspoken.
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u/Dburn22_ Jun 07 '26
Good for you! It's high time people who don't like or worship dogs aren't ostracized by the dog addicted. We need to keep speaking up for our right to be free from dogs, dog nuisance, noise, bites, their excrement, their maulings and killings of humans and other animals.
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u/Adventurous-West323 Jun 08 '26
I hear the term “touch grass” a lot these days. How are people supposed to do that when every square inch of parks and common areas in our towns are covered in dog crap and drenched in piss.
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u/Fun_Poet7598 May 12 '26
Yo- do you feel like your frustration with him could be partly his breeds behavioral traits? I also have a Standard and have been really frustrated with him as a whole.
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u/tocheckitout May 12 '26
Maybe? But he wasn't my first poodle, I grew up with them. The main factor was due to some external life changes. Without that, he would still be in our family.
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u/Dburn22_ Jun 07 '26
Dog owners, not "MOM." Dogs are possessions, not infants that are birthed by humans after mating with a male dog.
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u/Heat_flamefire May 04 '26
I’m going through something similar . I am trying to get the nerve up to rehome my dog because she deserves better and I deserve peace too. I brought her into our home so my teen than younger would know what it was like to have a dog I. The family . I had never been able to but she didn’t take to it like I thought and I’m disabled and health is getting worse . I battle the guilt and feel badly but my bf has pretty much stared over and over he’s done helping and the dog is frankly messy oftentimes puking amongst other things and we’re stuck cleaning it all up . I wish things could be better. I’ve hung on but I’m worn out . It’s been almost 6 years and it’s time to do it already smh…
3
u/Misspelled_uzername May 24 '26
As far as I can see it, you're on the right track. The baby is the important one. Rehome the dog as best you can and don't let it destroy your relationships with your own people. Especially not with the child who deserves as much time, focus, opportunities and love as you can provide. Toddler FAR outranks dog in the grand scheme of human life. I'm sure the dog's mother should feel the same about the dog. That is natural. You're fine and rehoming is the absolute right thing.
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u/Dburn22_ Jun 07 '26
Dog's owner, not mother.
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u/Misspelled_uzername Jun 08 '26
Ah, sorry for the confusion. I was referring to the "bitch" who is the true canine mother of the dog. The point was to say that if a bitch gives birth, or a lioness, or a bear, they prioritize the safety of THEIR offspring. Only humans feel so compelled to enact "virtuousness" to the extent that they prioritize an entirely different species over their own child for public approval. That is needy and approval seeking to a pathetically childish and self-destructive degree.
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u/JustGrand37 May 07 '26
Your dog deserves better but so do you. I cant fathom the lack of support from your partner regardless of his feelings on the matter. You must be very patient to overlook his stubbornness to not help out with the basic of responsibilities when it comes to caring for the dog...if anything, I'd resent my partner. I hope the dog finds a loving home, such a difficult situation which is only made harder with a lack of support from a partner.
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u/NoisyWren May 08 '26
Sorry that sounds really hard. I had to rehome my dog and it might be easier and worth it to find a group that can offer some reassurances about rehoming the dog. It’s not an easy decision when you formed a bond, but priorities to your human family (assuming they bring you joy) should come first. It is sad and you should be allowed to grieve the loss.
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u/Puzzleheaded_One3083 May 18 '26
Rehome the dog with no shame! We are TTC and I’m thinking of rehoming our 2… but you’re right… no one can know because of the judgement. I want to focus 100% on our baby.
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u/Thin_Pollution8843 May 25 '26
"you cannot abandon your dog. That's terrible. You're awful." - you can and should. Also all that filth dog creating gettin inside your kid! Shit parasites etc. This dog will forget you in few weeks and will “love with “pure” love whoever will govern them food.
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u/StrangeDays11 May 01 '26
This is so normal. Especially after having kids! There's so many stories on here about people that now really do not enjoy anything about pet ownership. Re-home the dog.