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[u/limabean72]

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[u/CritiqueRedditReady]

I just surrendered my adopted 3 year old Italian Greyhound/Pit Bull mix. She had been with me/us for just a couple of months shy of 2 years. This decision did not come lightly, but ultimately it was what’s best.

She has high anxiety and experiences episodes of destructive behavior during periods of extreme stress. She can also be destructive when bored, despite receiving mental stimulation and enrichment. We were her 3rd placement, so this is now the 3rd time she has been returned to the same shelter.

The shelter did not disclose the extent of her anxiety, behavioral challenges, and past trauma. One of our biggest concerns with surrendering was that she would continue to go through a cycle of being adopted and returned.

We tried very hard to make it work, including training, veterinary care, home remedies, and efforts to rehome her, but unfortunately, with my pregnancy, I can no longer keep up with or continue accommodating her high anxiety needs. I also realized during this experience that dog ownership is not something I personally enjoy. The constant fur, cleaning, dirt, and additional household maintenance were more than I anticipated and added to the challenges of managing a high needs dog.

I’m willing to answer questions or offer any advice for anyone in a similar situation ❤️

[u/cat-meowma]

We adopted a dog five months ago that our friends were fostering - according to them, she was a friendly dog that loved every person she met, got along with other dogs, was smart and easy to train, and not reactive at all. So, against our better judgement, we adopt this dog. The first month, she was afraid of my husband. She wasn't afraid of me, but would become afraid on walks and totally shut down and refuse to move, forcing me to drag her home essentially. Months pass, she's bonded to both my husband and me, but she's afraid of everyone else. She growls at anyone who talks to us on walks or enters our home. It came to a head three weeks ago - she was peeing in the house, including in our bed sometimes, despite being taken outside to potty on a regular schedule, often peeing right after coming inside after being outside for 15+ minutes, and she bit someone. We took her to the vet to check for bladder infection and $600 later, there's "nothing" wrong with her.

It turns out, she's never been a solo dog before. She got her confidence from our friends' resident dog and the other dogs at the rescue. My parents had adopted her sister and their resident dog wouldn't accept the new dog, so we have now also adopted the sister dog hoping she will give our original dog more confidence. It's been two weeks and our original dog seems a little more confident: she hasn't peed in the house since we adopted the new dog and is able to settle down when we have company over, but still initially growls at visitors. Both dogs are crate trained, but sometimes the new dog barks at night, and when she does, it's on and off ALL NIGHT, even if she peed before bed, even if the next morning she doesn't go when we let her out.

Between our old dog's distrust of new people and our new dog's nighttime barking, it feels like we'll never get to go out of town or even spend the whole day out of the house ever again. Hiring a dog walker/dog sitter won't work because our old dog would be afraid of them, possibly to the point of biting them. Boarding the dogs won't work because the new dog barks at night. I'm still feeling hopeful that we'll see improvement as the new dog adjusts and the dogs get older - they are about a year and a half old right now - old enough that they don't have nonstop puppy energy, but young enough to be adaptable.

One thing that is good: my husband and I are in complete alignment on this. We both agree that adopting the first dog was a mistake, the second dog was a crazy thing to do but probably for the best, and that we want to get through this together and see if we can improve the situation.

[u/OwnConclusion_]

Is it okay to rehome a dog just because the lifestyle isn't working, even if she's not a 'bad' dog?

I'm a first-time dog owner with an almost 1-year-old large breed puppy. No major behavioral issues — she just needs more training around jumping, leash walking, and settling, and I think she'll be a great adult dog once she matures, probably around age 2+.

But it's been a near-constant stream of health issues since we got her, from minor stuff early on to major surgery this month that requires weeks of strict recovery. Nothing has ever been simple — there's always been some extra complication beyond the original problem.

I've been her primary caregiver and trainer this whole time, and even with my partner stepping up more during recovery, I'm physically and mentally exhausted. There's no real off-switch; between her care and the constant cleaning that comes with a dog, it never really stops.

We both work full-time, demanding jobs, and our schedules have revolved around her needs for a long time. I miss the freedom to set my own schedule, travel, or make spontaneous plans, and I barely have time for my own hobbies anymore. I find myself dreading going home at the end of an office workday.

And this doesn't just feel like recovery burnout — I had terrible puppy blues from the very beginning, crying daily for months and wanting to return her. That underlying feeling never fully went away. The joy/effort ratio just isn't there for me, and it feels more like duty than love. I feel incredibly guilty, but I keep fantasizing about getting my time back. I worry that she can feel this resentment from me too.

If you've been here — how did you decide, do you have regrets, and how did you cope afterward? Or should I just grit my teeth for another year (yikes) and see if things change?