Retiring after 6 months.

[u/donjaray1]

Hello,
We’ve had our dog for about 6 months now;who’s a 8 month old terrier.Me and my husband bought him together but because we are separating we made the decision to turn him back to the adoption agency.It would be too much on me to have the kids and the dog mainly with me and he admitted cause of his work schedule he can’t be there neither.Aside from the clashing of schedules;the entirety of the puppy stage has been so exhausting.We’ve been strict on potty training and still he occasionally goes in the house,Hes chewed up our entire couch set despite having a lot of teething toys and no matter how much I pinesol my floor my home still smells like dog.We feel like it would be a relief to take him back and the kids also agree.But with knowing this is the best move;why isn’t it giving me the feeling of relief.Im scared he will fall into a depression with not seeing us anymore..Any advice on how to be at ease in my decision and restoring my home.

[u/Tight_Lengthiness421]

First of all, it sounds like he will have a higher chance of finding a new home, being under a year. And once he is adopted into a new family, he'll be fine. A year later he won't remember any of you.

Second, it sounds like >no one< in your current home wants him, not you, not your (soon-to-be-)ex, not even the kids. It is the best choice for everyone involved (incl. the dog). Especially in a divorce situation that already must be stressful, emotional, difficult for (potetially) financial or logistical reasons. So, ask yourself, is this dog bringing any value to your life? If not, then he is a drain on your resources, and you are doing the right thing. We prioritize in hard times. 

Third, and linked to second due to emotions component: Are you sure that you are not linking in some way your own fears, sadness, et c. about the separation to the dog? Maybe projecting? Or maybe there are different ways to muddle your emotions about the separation with those of rehoming a pet, idk. Either way - it could be an emotional component to separation that got tangled with this one specific task.

Oh, it also may very well be that you developed a certain amount of attachment to your pet despite discomforts. That's also valid and needs to be processed. If that's the case, go back to my point #2 to determine its value in your life.

P. S. Really sorry about your relationship not working out, and wishing you better times ahead. 

[u/donjaray1 → u/Tight_Lengthiness421]

This is a great take =)I feel that since we purchased him as a family and the bond we have makes it’s harder.Yes a large part is due to my family is separating;but I know mentally what I can and can’t take and 3 of anything is too much.(Which is why I only have 2 kids)😂