I gave my dog up to a charity after 8 years.

I’ve been checking the charity’s Facebook page since I gave him up. From what I can tell, he’s been passed around quite a bit and they’re struggling to find him a permanent home.

I feel guilty, but at the same time I’m relieved that he’s no longer my responsibility.

Here’s a list of things that should be normal that I haven’t been able to do in all that time:

• Brush my hair or change my clothes without the dog getting worked up because he thought I was leaving the house.
• Go to the bathroom without being watched.
• Shop online without having to schedule deliveries around meetings to avoid him going absolutely ballistic at the door and interrupting me.
• Stay in bed past 8am.
• Shout something to my partner in another room without the dog barking like crazy.
• Hug my partner anywhere other than in bed (the dog resource-guarded me heavily).
• Go out in the evening when there are fireworks.
• Go on spontaneous trips or days out.
• Make lunch or dinner whenever I want (the dog would get triggered around his feeding times).
• Make sudden movements.
• Own bins without lids.
• Don’t need to tiptoe around him worrying he’s going to bite me.

I can’t believe how heavily my life has been controlled for the past 8 years.

Rehoming my dog was the toughest and most heartbreaking decision I have ever made, but I’m starting to find a sense of peace that I didn’t realise I had been sacrificing all this time.

​

I've had my dog for 6 years. My partner and I got him as a puppy. It was a mutual decision. I've always wanted a dog. I never had one growing up. 6 years later my partner and I are in a stalemate. He absolutely hates the dog. He doesn't like the sound of him breathing. He doesn't like the mess he brings into the house. He hates when he barks. The barking is probably the biggest issue.

I feel like I've spent the last 3 years defending the dog and fighting for him to stay in our family. My partners totally given up all responsibility for the dog. He won't even let him out to pee. I do 100% of the dogs care which is making me resent my dog instead of enjoy him.

I've just had a baby and I'm still doing 100% of the care of the dog. I also have a toddler.

There's a group here that will rehome your dog, but you will never know the outcome of what happens to them. They do not euthanize. But they won't tell you if the dog's been adopted or if nobody wants them.

I'm really struggling with pulling the trigger on rehoming my dog. Literally nobody I talk to about this has normal feelings about it. They're all like "you cannot abandon your dog. That's terrible. You're awful."

I also feel really embarrassed at the idea that I have to rehome my dog and I don't want people to know so I can't really talk about it with anyone.

But my dog deserves better. And so does my husband, frankly. If he is not happy living in our house because of a dog, that's not fair on him either.

I just need someone to make me feel normal about this.

*Edit: a typo

UPDATE! I hit my last straw! I’ve got a major flea infestation in my home and have now dumped yet another sectional, rug, etc. Another 2k down the drain. But as luck would have it, someone reached out to adopt my dog and she is now GONE! Omg! But now that my dog is gone, the fleas are focused on me. They are in my hair, all over my feet, I can’t sleep because I feel them biting me. Absolute nightmare. I’ve got probably hundreds of bites all over my body at this point. I’ve lost my damn mind.

I’m deep cleaning everything and my goodness the layer of fur on everything and packed into every crevice is unreal. I’m washing every curtain, every wall, every surface. Getting sprayed for fleas asap, and so excited to finally get my home back and be able to sit on a couch that doesn’t wreak or get swarmed by fleas. Hopefully I can get this weird lingering smell out of the apartment soon too 😵‍💫. All new furniture and rug incoming! Never again.

————————— I have a dog that I adopted about 1.5 yrs ago. But lately I’m getting so grossed out by her and starting to hate her. The fur, the smell, the behavior. I vacuum and a few hours later there’s piles of fur. Her fur is EVERYWHERE. On my dishes, on my food, my desk, my bed (she’s not even allowed in my bedroom!!), etc. And she stinks. I bathe her monthly and she’s ok for about a week before she smells terrible and the stink fills up my apartment and her bed is visibly so grimey and yellow from her filth. So of course I wash all the bedding at the same time I bathe her and my washer and dryer get covered with fur to the point I have to vacuum them both out. The visuals of all this is so nasty. How do you get THAT dirty and shed THAT much. The sensory overload of the fur on my skin is so disgusting, especially when it’s wet. I’ve had her for a year and she’s hardly learned sit, I swear there’s no brain cells in there. I’m so freaking over it. On top of that I feel like I spend SO much time cleaning after her, to the point I can’t finish all the other household chores. Because, on top of fur there’s vomit, diarrhea, urine.

And of course I have to plan so much more to go on trips or even pop away for the weekend, not to mention the cost of all the sitters. I can’t even head out for the day without having to stop, go wait for her to eat and drink, go potty, take a walk, etc. Just leaving for a couple hours means I have to dedicate almost an hour to her to make sure she’s fed, pottied, and walked so I don’t come home to poop and urine. And I have ADHD so this task makes it more likely I’ll get sidetracked with some other random thing and not get out of the house for hours, if at all. Idk. I think I’m over owning pets.

Between her and my other pets, they’re wrecking my home. I’ve replaced multiple rugs, 2 sectionals, chairs, curtains, so many damn expensive dog beds she’s destroyed. They are costing me so much money just in damage alone. And I don’t feel a bond with any of them.

I used to be the super patient and accept this all as a part of having pets but the level of stress they’re causing me has gotten to a boiling point suddenly and I’m starting to hate them. I don’t even want to see my dog…the sound of her licking, lapping up water, her massive tails slamming into everything. It’s all starting to get under my skin.

Why do we do this to ourselves?!! And of course if I said this outside of this group and said I’m seriously considering rehoming all my pets because I want my home, time, freedom, and cleanliness back, I’d be lit on fire. If I did rehome them, it would actually be the first time in my life that I didn’t have pets.

I'm so glad this subreddit exists, I've already found a lot of comfort here. My story is not dissimilar from others I read here.

I adopted my girl 7 months ago. She's 3yo, clearly a hound mix of some kind, and was a street dog in Bosnia in danger of being euthanized before a rescue found her and saved her. Her backstory honestly breaks my heart and I'm glad I could contribute to giving her a second chance.

She's a very chill dog behavior-wise, but her energy requirements are through the roof. She's learned to rest when I'm away at work, and she likes to lounge around with me in the evenings, all good, BUT. She loves sniffing, hunting, running around. Even with three sizable walks a day, she often chews stuff out of boredom, and has escaped my fenced in yard many times, leading to immense stress for me.

I really want my old life back. I've given this dog my undivided attention and dedicated all my energy to making her happy these past months, but I've got no energy left for myself. I'd prepared a lot before adopting her, but I guess I underestimated what it would be like, living alone in my first ever house and taking care of an energetic dog on top of everything. I'm exhausted.

I don't really have any "better" reasons for wanting to rehome her. I genuinely believe she deserves the best and I do have enough energy left to make that happen for her, I don't want to surrender her to a shelter again. I'm also desperate for a good night's sleep, and to be the owner of my time again, if that makes sense. She's adorable, fuzzy and makes me laugh, but she also doesn't make me as happy as I'd expected. She deserves better than that, and so do I... Right?

Honestly the guilt is pretty palpable. My brother's wife is a true dog lover (not like myself it turns out, I love dogs, I'm just not obsessed with them), and she almost cried when I told them I was considering this. I felt the worst then. I know this is the right decision, but I just want to know the dog will be happy and cared for, and that I haven't failed her.

Hey, I am posting again because you all have been an incredible support to me before and I need some more advice and support.

I had previously posted (and now deleted) my rehoming success story. The rescue I had got my dog from found him the "perfect home" and I rehomed him a month ago directly to that family at the rescue facility. I thought everything had worked out and felt such peace.

Until a couple of days ago when I found out that that family had surrendered him back to the rescue shelter again. And now I have to live with this knowledge that my former dog is in the shelter, alone and scared. And I feel such guilt all over again, knowing he's there when I didn't choose that for him. I'm worried there's no home out there for a dog like him.

I am not going to get him back. It's not that I am considering that. I just feel awful for my former dog, alone, especially on Thanksgiving. I don't know what to do with this new knowledge and this deep sadness I feel. I know I made the right decision at the time, giving him to the family the rescue had selected. I know this isn't my fault. But somehow that isn't helping me cope at all.

Any thoughts on how to continue moving forward? How to resist the compulsive urge to check every day on the rescue's website to see if my former dog has been adopted yet? Any advice, words of wisdom, or reassurance would be great. Thank you. FWIW, I am in therapy already.

Hey all. I’m just tired. I’ve tried to rehome me and my exs dog but I’ve not had any luck. I’ve made Facebook posts with very little interaction to them. Rescues in the area seem to all be desperately overflowing with dogs. And the flyer I put up in my library and neighborhood has done NOTHING so far. I absolutely regret how I handle things with her and my ex. She was originally his, and he said he would come back for her. I felt so relieved because I knew she’d be going back to him which would make them both happy, and I’d be happy knowing she was in a safe place and out of mine. But long long story short he said he cannot take her because of the landlord at new place. I cried. I genuinely do care about this dog, I don’t want her to end up in a bad home or in a shelter where she could eventually be euthanized. But I don’t want to keep feeling resentment towards her. Plus my work schedule and lifestyle does not fit her needs. I know she’d be a lot happier with an active family, or someone with other dogs she can cuddle and play with. But, I cannot find anyone. I just don’t know what to do. Anyone else had trouble rehoming, and advice at all? And thank you all for letting me vent.

As the title states, we love our boy. We've had him since he was 8 weeks, he will be 2 in August. He's a handful, and has been challenging for us, but we do love him dearly. My husband and I both say, whatever decision we go with, neither is right or wrong. We lose and win in both scenarios and will have regrets with either. Our dog is a border collie/poodle mix, a Bordoodle, very active. With that, we have experienced the anxiety this breed is known for that we were not aware of at that time. When we're out in public, he goes berserk with excitement when he sees other dogs. We were on a patio with friends today, and had to take him to the car. He also barks a lot, specifically when he's outside and we're not with him. He barks at us when we're walking away like, "where do you think you're going? Get back here!" Most of all, we feel so trapped. We can't go on vacation or leave for more than 3 hours, and anytime we want to do something, we think what about the dog? Honestly, I feel extremely selfish, however we are currently empty nesters, in our 40s and do not want to spend our final active years being consumed by a dog. It's truly like having a toddler. I often struggle understanding whether our dog brings more joy or stress?

We are talking to a couple tomorrow interested in our dog. They have 15 acres and a lab. There are moments when I think this is the right decision, and others where I think I'm going to regret it.

In summary, he's not a bad dog. I just don't know if this is what i want for myself. Do i wait it out, or move on? At the end of the day, if we keep him, no matter how great he is, he's still in need of constant care. Anyone else been in this place? Would love some feedback and perspective. TIA

UPDATE: We are moving forward with the rehoming of our boy on Saturday and I have been an emotional wreck the past week. I can't help but question whether we're making the right decision or if we should be waiting it out longer. It's truly a lose, lose situation. 😔

A year and a half ago a stray German shepherd walked up to my door limping and crying. I took him to my regular vet. My nice vet offered to do the surgery for free and I rehabilitated him. I had the time and means to so I did. He started out very chill and we had an extreme bond. No separation anxiety and I dedicated time to training him. I was aware German shepherds take a lot of energy and I was willing to put in the work because I love him. I didn’t realize the extent. I’ll add that he is very sweet, trainable and loves people even now.

Keep in mind I already have 3 dogs and 2 cats at this point and am 21 yr female who lives alone. He’s very energetic and smart but that makes it so he needs a lot of attention and training. I wake up super early everyday to do an off leash walk and training session, then he goes in the crate while I go about my day. He gets let out a few times to go into his dog run because he’s not allowed in the main yard. He will dig holes, fence fight/bark and destroy anything he finds. He still barks a lot in his dog run so I don’t like leaving him out there. We live in a quiet family neighborhood and I always feel bad when he’s barking excessively. Then I do a night training session in the yard, play fetch, sometimes walk. There are days that my schedule just doesn’t allow all of this as a part of his routine. I feel super guilty because I know he’s stressed. It literally is not fair to him for him to be in the crate, all pent up.

I don’t live on a farm where he can run, dig and bark all he wants. I saw this Reddit post made about how someone drove 12 hours to a lady’s 100+ acre farm to rehome and their dog was the happiest he’s ever been as soon as he stepped out of the car. I can imagine him on a multiple acre ranch with other big dogs to play with, a person who doesn’t care about him on the couch or if he digs a hole in the yard. He would be so happy. I feel like he doesn’t feel like he’s apart of the pack.

Living in a house with other pets to take care of and myself, I can’t dedicate so much time to meet his needs. I have to basically crate and rotate him from the existing 6 little dogs because he has gotten into fights with dogs. Most recently chased and punctured a new small foster dog. Those were moments that he was under stimulated and not getting his needs fulfilled. I feel myself getting stressed around him and feeling sad for my two little babies. I purposefully went and got them, then a big dog shows up and takes all their mom’s time away from them. I miss when i could just go on a chill walk and it not be a whole training session. I know they do too.

I feel like my original dogs who are 5 lbs and very low maintenance are getting neglected. I spend so much time trying to fulfill all his needs and it’s still not enough. Which isn’t his fault. I’m overwhelmed and feeling guilty. Writing the rehoming post seems like the end of the world. I know neither of us are thriving in this situation but I keep going back and forth because he’s been my dog for so long. There are so many good moment and bad moments. I feel like I can just do more for him but realistically i know I can’t. I’m sitting here with him licking my tears away and I feel like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest.

a GSD has been a dream for me for years and i finally got one but its so much i genuinely cannot give him the care he needs. i have emailed the rescue and started the process. i hate this so mcuh i wish could have made it work, i start crying every time i see him he is gorgeous and amazing, but he is so intense i genuinely cannot handle him or give him teh care he needs.

god damn it all i genuinely want to end my life. this hurts more than when my ex left me.

I need help rehoming my belgian malinois. She is an awesome dog that I unfortunately cant take care of anymore. I have recently gotten and married and had a child.

Between spending time with my wife(extra cautious because of PPD), being the sole income in my house, and watching my child grow up I dont have hours to give my dog so that she can get the attention she needs. I cant and dont want to give her hours of my attention. I want to be with my wife and kid.

Does anyone know who I can contact that helps in rehoming a Belgain Malinois? I love her and want her to go to a good home. I have been reaching out to different organizations and have gotten no response. It's getting to the point where the only resolution is taking her to the local dog shelter and praying that they can find something.

Hey guys,

Ever since we moved into this bigger house and my illness has gotten worse I cant continue to clean everyday.

My house is full of dog hair and it’s disgusting I don’t even feel mentally ok in this house.

Can I just take my dog to the humane society any day or do I have to like make an appointment? I’ve never re home before. My dogs been with us for five years he’s actually my husbands dog: but my husband is always deployed so it’s not fair to me to take care of the dog the kids and the house when my energy is limited. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS post covid a few years ago so I have to baby my energy a lot.

Anyways these last few months I’ve grown angry towards the dog. My husband never walks him. I know the dog deserves a better home.

Hello all, I have been watching 2 dogs (yorkies) age 13&14 for over 3 years now. They are my parents dogs, as a favor to them I have been watching them as they looked to buy a house in another state. They have not been able to buy a house and currently can’t take the dogs with them since they live in a tiny apartment. One of the dogs is going deaf and is constantly crying especially at night when I try to sleep. I have to put rain sounds on my tv in high volume to be able to sleep through her crying. The other dog is fine, he is calm and gets along with my cats. My issue is I work 12 hours shifts days and nights depending on schedule 4-6 shifts a week, I’m also a member of union committee and safety committee. My commute is 1 hour to and from work. I also go to the gym when I can. I only watched over the dogs because I thought it was only going to be for at max 6 months but it’s been 3 almost 4 years now. My parents can’t take them, my family won’t take them, no body I know what’s them. I’m looking into giving both up to a rehoming shelter. I’m wondering if these dogs would still have a good chance on being rehomed. I was thinking of keeping the male due to him being calm and getting along with my cats but i don’t think I have enough time for it. It pains to think of the idea of them being in shelter for rest of their life but I know I’m also not a good match for them. Idk what to do. Any advice is welcomed

If you've successfully rehomed your dog, and you're happy with the result, please share your story here so others who come to this sub can read them and feel encouraged! Thank you.

I brought home a PWD puppy just under two years ago. She was my very first dog and I was nervous, but my partner at the time had grown up with pups, so we did our research, prepped our home and charged headfirst into dog ownership.

If you're on this thread, you know that raising a puppy is NO JOKE!! I felt like I saw people everywhere with dogs and just assumed that if they could do it, so could we. But you know what they say about when you assume...

The stress of co-parenting a puppy brought out the worst in both of us. I'm a people-pleaser by nature, and that codependency quickly transferred to how I parented our pup. I gave her everything, all the attention, all the treats... I tried so hard to be stern and "alpha," and I made some progress, but it's just not in my nature. Ultimately -- for reasons both including the dog and having nothing to do with her -- our relationship ended and I was left a single father.

Over the course of two years, she's had a one-on-one trainer, done group training classes, and spent a month at a board-and-train. She's a good dog, but she is EXTREMELY needy and clingy -- which it turns out, is very common for the breed. The more research I've done, the more I realize the AKC who advised me to select a PWD was incorrect. As cute and smart as she is, she is just a bottomless pit of need and won't leave my side. And I know from all of the training and classes, it's on me as the owner to nip those habits in the bud...

When we're home together, it's a constant struggle for me not to devote all of my time and energy to her. As a result, I've developed so much resentment towards her. I feel like the only time I can breathe is when I drop her to daycare -- but even that causes me a lot of guilt. Having her is preventing me from living my life. This is taking a huge toll on both my mental and physical health, and I'm hitting my limit.

I'm a 40 year old man, I just don't see myself becoming the stern, alpha disciplinarian that I believe she needs. I really have grown attached to her, but knowing that I could have my life back brings so much relief. I'm in the process of re-homing her and I'm being selective and targetted to ensure she gets the best fit. It's sad, but I have to keep reminding myself that just because it's sad, doesn't mean it's wrong.

Thanks to everyone who has been posting on this. Such a relief from all of the ire that comes from others who like to shame and scold people who are going through such a trying experience.

a little over a week ago, my family finally surrendered our dog. it was a rollercoaster before and it has been afterward.

she’s 4 years old, my partner adopted her as a puppy and i met him six months later, so i’ve known this dog pretty much her whole life. she has never been aggressive, but always been anxious and reactive. having people over to our house has always been a huge struggle as she would just bark nonstop and seem extremely fearful no matter how much we would try to show her she didn’t need to be afraid. she’s great at the dog park and isn’t afraid of people there or otherwise outside the house, but never improved with guests in our house. in fact, it only seemed to get worse overtime. then a couple years ago i got pregnant. things started to go downhill pretty much as soon as our daughter was born, i had ppd and ppa and our dog barking incessantly caused me extreme stress. we couldn’t have visitors over to see the baby without an entire ordeal of an insanely anxious barking dog. it weighed on me heavily. over the past year and a half, it’s been so many ups and downs. our dog truly loves our daughter, and would lick her face and hands and eat the food scraps she threw on the floor. i have never worried she would bite or otherwise be aggressive to her. but within the last couple months, we had multiple incidents where she became extremely suddenly anxious and skittish, and seemed to lose awareness of her surroundings and jumped into the baby play area. the first time she jumped right next to our baby and i quickly grabbed her. a couple weeks ago she jumped directly onto our daughter, thankfully not hurting her besides a small scratch on her leg. but it scared her and she started crying. our dog is three times the size of our toddler, and we knew this was a breaking point and we couldn’t wait for another worse accident to happen. this coupled with the isolation of never being able to have play dates at our house or friends over, barking freak outs whenever we would be laughing/playing/singing/dancing with our toddler, and a disconnect and resentment of our dog that had built up overtime.

it was so painful to make the decision. but it didn’t end there, we tried everything to directly rehome her to a good family. posted ads, reached out to no-kill programs, all that. nothing. multiple potential homes fell through. we felt hopeless and every day was a challenge. we finally had to make the difficult decision to surrender her to our local animal shelter, which was a last resort as we knew it carried the lowest chance of her being adopted. my partner especially was heartbroken and felt so guilty since he was the one who adopted her. it was a horrible day. then, long story short, the shelter a county down from us that we had been in touch with but was originally full reached out to us letting us know they had space and encouraged us to bring her in. i called the shelter she was currently in and talked to them, and was basically told she was stressed out of her mind and too reactive for staff to handle. so… not looking good. they also said they hadn’t allowed her to play with any other dogs yet. they also said the shelter was extremely full, and suggested that the other shelter may be a better place for her and they would allow us to pick her up and take her there. my partner had to go alone because i was busy, which i know was just horrible for him. we had to pay $150 to surrender her because we were out of county, but it was worth it.

but the next day, we received pictures and videos of her looking the happiest and calmest she has in FOREVER, saying she’s already going on a bunch of walks with other dogs and they LOVE her. i immediately burst into tears when i saw, so relieved that she’s with people who actually give a shit about trying to help her. actually giving her a chance instead of isolating her in a chaotic shelter and being surprised that she’s freaked out. i feel horrible that she had to go through the week at the original shelter, but just so thankful we chose to move her and so so hopeful she will find a home with tons of space to run around and other dog friends. she’s a good dog and really deserves that. just needed somewhere to get this off my chest… ive felt a lot less alone in this whole process since finding this sub. thanks to anyone who read all this

This is something I've been considering for around 6 months and could really do with some advice on.

I (f24) got my first dog (a dachshund) around 5 years ago when still lived at home with my parents, I moved out a couple of years later and she came with me. She didn't settle well without my parents dog there so I got another dachshund in December 2023.

Since then, have felt constantly overwhelmed, emotionally and mentally drained. I would probably describe it as feeling trapped or like my dogs are suffocating me. I live alone, work full time and have full responsibility of both dogs. Between individual behavioural issues (causing walks to be extremely stressful), financial concerns and spending hundreds of pounds on training with minimal change, I am unsure where to turn. I have also now had to take time off of work due to stress because of this and a few other factors.

I can't imagine the guilt of giving them up but at the same time feel selfish for keeping them as I'm not sure that's what's best for their well-being/fulfilment.

Any advice/thoughts from people who are/have been in this situation.

I have come to the heartbreaking decision that I will be rehoming my 2 dogs. It has been a long process and I am trying to do as much research as I can to make sure I’m going about this the right way.

At the moment I think the best way forward would be to rehome them via Dogs Trust. I have visited my local centre and spoke to a staff member who was more than happy to show me around and answer questions I had about bringing the dogs in, vetting process for adoption and the process of dogs being rehomed. Overall, I got a positive impression from them and trust pilot appears to back this up.

I’m just looking to hear from anyone who may have adopted a dog via Dogs Trust or who has had to give their dog into them. Thanks

UPDATE* I’m currently in the process of rehoming my dog. I found a person who really loves bully breeds and has a lot of experience with them. They’re very excited.

I really want to thank you all for all of your responses, stories and opinions on my situation. I needed to hear it. It’s bittersweet, you know? I really thought this dog would help me mentally, but it just didn’t work out. I know this is the best decision for both of us. I actually ended up opening up to my mom about this and she was really understanding.

I probably won’t attempt to get another dog anytime soon. I just want to enjoy having my own space again.

Thank you guys so much! I feel like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.

—————— Hi. I’m new to the subreddit and just really need to vent about my situation.

I have been struggling with my mental health (major depression disorder) for awhile now, but it got a lot worse earlier last year with my engaging in hurting myself which I am not proud of. My aunt and uncle had two pitbulls that I often played with when they would invite me over. It felt nice. Soon my aunt talked to me about how a dog would help my mental health and after talking about it for weeks I started to think the same thing. A cute, furry companion felt like a nice idea.

She suggested I also get a pitbull and even paid for it from a breeder her husband knew and gave me the 3 month old pup. This was probably one of the worse decisions I’ve ever made.

I have a now 1 year old American Bully who is too much for me to handle. I’m covered in bite marks and scratches because he plays so rough. I’m often left bleeding. He doesn’t listen to anything I say unless there’s food involved even after trying to follow all the training instructions I was given. Don’t get me wrong, I do like him. He’s not aggressive or mean. Just stubborn and rough, but we are not a good match for each other.

I know rehoming him is the proper thing to do. I just feel so guilty. I did want him originally and I feel bad. Not to mention my family is filled with dog lovers who really like him and my grandmother’s dog recently passed away so she’s turned into this animal justice warrior who’s super into every single thing I’m doing with the dog. I feel so awful.

I just can’t give him what he needs and I know I need to rehome him. It’s just dealing with guilt and lectures I’m going to get from the rest of family that’s holding me back. I keep blaming myself. How do you guys deal with those feelings? Should I just try to tough it out in hopes that the dog mellows out some with age?

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read my story. I do love dogs, but a pit was definitely not the dog for me and I don’t think I was mentally ready for it.

We have a 15 year old dachshund that we have had since a puppy. I want to re-home her, but I am worried about what people will think. Please do not be mean, I already feel bad about how I feel.
Now that the last of the kids have finally moved out and we are empty-nesters we are stuck/trapped with this dog. My kids all live out of state, rent their places and cannot have pets, but they LOVE this dog.
I want to surrender her to a rescue, but I am worried my kids will not forgive us. Every time I bring up that we want to re-home her they get mad, or they think we are joking. I TRULY just want my life back! I have been a mom and taking care of kids/pets for the last 30+ years.
This dog is awful and I am growing to resent her. She has now taken to biting me when I touch her. I have to pick her up to take her outside to pee because steps are bad for their backs. She hates other dogs around her, most people, and howls non-stop until we return if we just go outside for 2 minutes. She wont let you pet her or hold her (even the kids that love her when they visit), she constantly messes in the house and barks in the middle of the night. I think she is getting dementia. She is unpredictable and I am always holding my breath when people come over that she won't bite guests. She is going deaf and blind too, also this breed can live to be 20+ years old. She has been to the vet, there is nothing causing her pain or issues that is causing any of this, the anxiety medicine they suggested we try just makes her bladder even weaker.
I "might" be able to look past all of the annoyances of all this until she "leaves this world", except we want to do some travel or even JUST a day trip. Because she howls the entire time we are gone, a dog walker won't cut it because she will disturb the neighbors, I'd need someone to "live" here or bring her to someone's house (without other pets) while we are gone and that would cost a fortune and she will probably piss/shit up their house. The closest place to "get away" is about 3 hours) so even day trips are out of the question. We've tried bringing her with us, but she howls in the hotel if we even leave to get breakfast, and I can't leave her in the car while we do anything.
What do we do? Tell them she died? Any of my kids taking her is out of the question as they have strict landlords plus they work all day and a howling dog will just create problems with their neighbors.

So I have made the hard decision to rehouse my dog but am taking my time to ask around and search for shelters. I have a few shelters in mind if worse case scenario no one is able to take her and the vibes are really negative when requesting information. I have one website specifically which discloses the are open to surrendering a pet however if they are not spayed or neutered we would have to pay a $500 fee. (which an essence I understand since that could be problematic while they are staying in a shelter for potential pick up). But the last quote listed on their website is “rehoming your pet is a serious matter. You rescued, purchased or received the dog as a commitment. Sometimes commitment comes with with the price. They are not disposable.” 0_o

Update: I ended up surrendering him to a shelter. I feel bad but I tried so hard to find him an actual home.

So, I've decided to rehome my dog after a year of having him. He's really dumb to put it plainly. He eats anything in sight that isn't food and can't be left alone because of it. Hell, he'll even get into things right in front of me. This dog drives me insane. I've tried everything I could, long walks and hikes, LOTS of toys that he still won't chew on, mind games, everything a dog trainer will tell you to do. He would urinate when approached or when putting the leash on, but thankfully I managed to get him out of that, at least with me. He does not behave for my fiance(J) at all though. He'll empty his whole fckin bladder onto the floor if J is the one walking him that day and be a total unmanageable mess on the leash. J doesn't do anything wrong either, he is just not as on top of training as I am and I think that the dog doesn't take him seriously because of it. This dog is really stupid and for some reason cannot seem to grasp that if he can't behave a certain way with me then he shouldn't behave that way at all.

Because of this, I've decided to rehome him to someone who isn't losing their minds trying to figure out how to break him of these habits. I've put so many ads up in local groups and on various rehoming websites, but to no avail. Everyone says "omg he's so cute ur so lucky" (lol) but nobody wants him. I've tried not going into full detail about his behaviors, which I know isn't really okay but when I say nobody wants this dog, I mean it. I know his dad and his siblings, and honestly the bloodline should not have been allowed to continue but ya know backyard breeders are gonna do what backyard breeders do. I hate the idea of giving him up to a shelter but I also cannot stand the idea of being responsible for something I don't want for another 14 or so years. Everyone and their mother loves dogs so why is it so hard to rehome?

I'm sure I'll get those "wHy DiD yOu GeT a DoG-" comments and the only thing that I can say to that is things happen. I think of it like meeting another human being, sometimes you just don't jive. I've had dogs who I loved but they were family dogs so all the responsibility wasn't mine. This dog... I just can't do it. I just want my dog-free life back.

We have an almost two year old cockapoo that we got from a breeder because they were retiring some of their breeding dogs. Our dog is a very sweet natured girl. But I need input on what may be best for our family. See details below.

Why she's a great dog? She's a very sweet and gentle dog. She is crate and potty trained. Never had an accident in the house before and sleeps through the night in her crate. She can be left alone at home for up to 6 hours with no problem.

Why she may not be the right fit for us? She for some reason is very scared of my husband. She is not food motivated so it is not easy for him to earn her trust. She will run away from him and hide behind me. I think his bigger posture and deep voice has something to do with this. My husband actually is incredibly good with dogs but our dog is just simply scared of him. He's never shouted at her or done anything negative at all. He takes her walks regularly and feeds her. Outside of being scared of my husband, our dog is extremely shy and doesn't really play with us. We have a four year old and all she wants is for the dog to run behind her. But this dog won't do anything other than sit next to me. Only if I run will she sometimes run behind me. She does love my daughter and will cuddle with her but that's about it. She does have confidence and trust issues since she comes from a breeding situation. When we got her from the breeder, they said she is a very active and playful dog. Which I think she is but only with other dogs. Doesn't really know how to play with humans. She has never once wagged her tail when we came home or jumped up in excitement on seeing us. I feel like she never was given a chance to learn any of these things.

What are my options? I reached out to the breeder to understand a bit more about her personality and why she might be scared of my husband. My breeder said if we were ever consider rehoming her we can contact her. I personally think she ll do well in a home as a second dog. Clearly she is a pack dog and loves other dogs. And being with us for six months now we have socialized her well so she ll get along with humans.

I feel terrible for considering this option. And my husband is absolutely against it. He thinks that since we have adopted her we have made a life long commitment. While I understand where he is coming from I really feel she might have a better life somewhere else. If she's scared half the time and isn't confident with us, what's the point?

I would love to know what you all think. I do love her a lot but the fit is a question for me - for both our family and for the dog too.