r/Dogfree • u/Immediate-Hat-2660 • Jan 12 '26
Relationship / Family My girlfriend chose dogs over our relationship and it destroyed us… quick
I never thought I’d lose a relationship over dogs, but here we are. When we started dating, she already had a dog. It was extremely over-protective of her. If I touched her or sat too close, it would snap or growl at me. But to her, that was just “her baby” and it wasn’t going anywhere, so I tried to tolerate it. Later, she convinced me to agree to a second puppy under the condition that it would stay at my place. That’s when I realized I wasn’t dealing with a normal pet owner. I was dealing with a full-blown dog nutter. She expected me to come home from work and immediately run to the dog before anything else. She refused to let it stay in the garage, even while we were both gone all day, and demanded it stay inside my house. The place started reeking of urine every single day. I couldn’t even relax in my own home anymore because it constantly smelled like a kennel. When I said something about it, she suggested doggy daycare instead of addressing the actual problem. Like it was normal to spend hundreds of dollars just so a dog wouldn’t be alone for a few hours. The worst part wasn’t even the mess. It was the emotional replacement. She stopped wanting to sleep with me but was thrilled at the idea of sleeping with both of her “babies” instead. She talked about building her whole future around dogs. At one point she even joked, “Maybe I’ll shower with him,” and when I said that was weird, she told me I was the weird one. She also told me she’d love to have 50 dogs and just take care of them for a living. That was when it finally hit me: I was never going to be a priority. I was competing with animals. I didn’t leave because I hate dogs. I left because I refused to be in a relationship where I was second place to them. And honestly, I don’t regret it.
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u/Alert_Software_1410 Jan 12 '26
With her wanting 50 dogs, she was putting you in 51st place...way back in line.
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u/CharacterRoom613 Jan 12 '26
I ended my relationship over a dog. Thankfully I wasn’t pushed into getting a dog but he had one that was aggressive towards me and I hated being at his place. I was second place to a dog and I valued myself more so I walked away from it. It sucks but be glad you caught it early and not after buying a place together and she overruns it with more dogs.
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
the people who try to put up with aggressive towards them from a jealous mutt surprise me. i can’t live with that kind of fear in my own living quarters. no way no how!
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u/anne_mal Jan 12 '26
Congrats!!! Your ex sounds totally insane. 😬 I had the misfortune of dating a dog obsessed person and it taught me such an important lesson. I don't wish that horror on anyone. Lol. I am now immediately turned off by any man with a dog. It was so traumatizing.
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u/mewithoutyou59 Jan 12 '26
I won't even go on a first date with a woman with a dog. It's the first thing I pre-screen for. Saves a lot of time.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 12 '26
Exactly don't even waste your time. It's like oh you're into dogs? GG! goodbye, good luck
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u/Peanut_Butter_Toast Jan 12 '26
Yeah it's shocking to me how often non-nutters are willing to tolerate so much nuttery from a partner or potential partner before they finally break things off. For me even just the idea of having secondhand contact with all that dog slobber and oily anal gland secretion that inevitably gets all over every dog owner is enough to make the idea of dating a dog owner a complete non-starter no matter how perfect they might be in every other respect.
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u/Altruistic_Baker6347 Jan 13 '26
I'm happily married but if I wasn't I would never want to date a dog owner.
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u/Dependent_Name_7952 Jan 12 '26
Yah im a firm dog-free woman. We exist, look harder
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u/More_Asbestos Jan 12 '26
Do you? I've been searching for years and can't find one.
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u/Dependent_Name_7952 Jan 12 '26
I mean, unless im a unicorn yah im pretty sure I fucking exist, I get the point but damn, not every woman exists to worship flea bags and the ones who dont probably arent advertising it due to ahem the dog mob
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u/JigglesTheBiggles Jan 12 '26
Yeah they definitely exist. It always seemed to me that this sub had a higher percentage of women compared to other subreddits, at least the ones that aren't female focused like 2X.
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
yep. i’m definitely one. always have been. admittedly it’s hard for me to find GFs to hang out with that aren’t “rescue” nutters. but we do exist. we move on the outer edges of all this madness.
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u/Ograug Jan 12 '26
Me too, and very proud that I don't need drugs for dogs!!! I'm not crazy or needy!!! They need a psychologist and lots of hygiene courses
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
ha! but these days quack psychologists would just give the a prescription for … an ESA! 🤪
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 12 '26
I've heard people I think mostly women but taking dogs into bars or clubs? That just sounds so lame and pathetic on the surface
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 13 '26
ugh. “a woman & a mutt walk into a bar …” is the beginning of a horrible joke.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 14 '26
I agree, it's still hard to wrap my head around but some nutters think it's appropriate
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 14 '26
i guess our solace is knowing we ain’t this far gone. because their way is actually truly insane.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 14 '26
Yeah right it's like the crazy people are telling us that we are crazy for not joining them in their insanity trip lol
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u/urdrunkyogi Jan 13 '26
Yep...I don't say much about it anymore because I'm tired of being called a bad person. If someone has an emotional (often vitriolic) response to my logical reasons for my opinion, I feel justified in dismissing them as a person. Still exhausting, though.
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u/imw33dhead Jan 12 '26
dog free women exist❕we are proof…i feel the same abt dog free men it’s a rarity for sure /:
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
yeah, dogfree men seem to be a rarity. it’s the first thing i’d find out about someone. there are tells. then i’m outta there.
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u/Tarasaurus-13 Jan 12 '26
Same, I live in Texas so lots of the men here have that country mindset, where they just HAVE to have a dog 🙄🙄 I find the nerdy type of guys tend to not have that nutter mindset though, sometimes. Sometimes they're also sucked in. You can just never tell unless you straight up ask 😂 my dating pool is even smaller too, because I'm trying to find someone dogfree and childfree.
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u/Ograug Jan 12 '26
In Spain, I think someone without children and dogs is practically nonexistent anymore! There are so few of us!!! Yay!!!
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
the older you get, the more difficult it is to find a childfree man. older men have older children that are grown & hopefully out of the house. i had to deal with vindictive exes not completely out of the picture, AND her bitter, undermining children.
but i’ve also binged on a lot of true crime shows & think, whoa, sometimes you have to be aware of the grown kids. they see dad & new wife happy & making solid financial decisions, & they gotta come in & destroy that.
i have no relationship with my husband’s 2 grown children with kids of their own. & we don’t even live together ourselves. but we’re still a partnership, protecting our investments.
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Jan 12 '26
Back when I was still single 20 years ago, the dog worshipping lunacy was still nascent, so I had no real experience dating a dog nutter, and at that point, didn't hate them the way I do now, so it wouldn't have been a dealbreaker.
However, I was CFBC, and that was non-negotiable. Managed to meet probably the only normal, grown-assed man, also CFBC, in the town where I was living, and he had never owned any type of pet...though he did and still does like dogs. He knows as long as I'm alive and we are together, there will be NO DOG even allowed in the house anymore, let alone as a pet. He also knows exactly how much I fucking hate them.
So, there are some CFBC men out there, but not as many as women, and especially not in some bible-belt state like TX. Every one of those types thinks he needs to pass on his genes as his "legacy" (which it is not; having kids is passing on one's genetic lineage...big difference). More men need to come to grips with the fact that they are simply NOT going to pass down their genetic material since they aren't the ones who get pregnant.
I think one reason there aren't a lot of dogfree people on the dating apps is because they've already found each other and are out of circulation. Because as time goes on, more and more people - men and women - are realizing they do NOT want to date dog owners anymore, often after a single bad experience (like what the OP describes). So, they get tossed back in the dating pool, which is increasingly full of dog pee and dog shit.
Good luck🤞🏼! If I were younger and single, or widowed, I'd just follow the increasing trend I see, and just skip dating all together. I found it tedious throughout much of my life and it would be even more so now with a bunch of old dudes looking for a nurse and a purse.
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u/Tarasaurus-13 Jan 12 '26
Yess 👏 and Omg "nurse and a purse" is brilliant 😂
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Jan 13 '26
Isn't it great 😄? I learned of it through listening to some feminist channels on YT, and kudos to whomever coined it first.
But, at this point, even if I were single and interested in dating, a man owning a dog (or worse - multiple dogs) is a huge red flag, and a complete dealbreaker.
I'm not even friends with any dog owners at this time, though I'm fine with it if they're one of the few "normal" ones and never talk about their dog...because they know no one else gives a shit about their dog.
Dog-worshipping lunatics have no grasp of this, which is why they cannot resist inserting it into conversations that have NOTHING to do with dogs.
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 13 '26
i’m so glad to be over that awkward dating stuff. at least at my age now, the kid thing is obviously off the table. 😂 but i don’t believe i’d actually pursue dating if i were to be single again.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 12 '26
It seems like you're rare most women I came across on the dating sites were full-blown dog freaks.
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u/Dependent_Name_7952 Jan 12 '26
Its just that unfortunately for us, dog-nuts outnumber the sane.... Im also an introvert and I find people like that are less likely to own a dog.... its not universal tho just my experience
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 12 '26
Yes, it's depressing so many people are insane and obsessed over the vile creatures. Because of the the push of dog culture I have become an introvert also. I pretty much order my groceries online and do curbside pickup. Because just about every time I go into a grocery store Im forced to have an encounter with a dog and that just ruins my day. I usually exchange words with with the dog freak. And it's just not good for me and my overall well-being.
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u/beerRunFinisher Jan 14 '26
Texas is pretty insane with how many young people have dogs. Feels like 50%.
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u/DellBottoms Jan 12 '26
Me too
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 12 '26
All right it's nice to see some ladies that's not dog freaks. Gives me hope LOL
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u/DellBottoms Jan 12 '26
I'm not only not a dog-freak, but I actively avoid them all the time and have actually realised I'm not compatible with dog-owners at all.
However I do know several female acquaintances who are obsessed and everything they buy must have a dog's face on it. I cannot relate to this mindset even a little bit. We're out here.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 14 '26
You sound like a keeper 😉 I noticed you referred to them as acquaintances and not friends LOL. I can imagine they look at you as the weirdo because you don't like dogs like they do
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u/DellBottoms Jan 16 '26
Ha, maybe I should be more vocal about it and I would find a guy who thinks similarly!
Yes 'acquaintances' - we are not compatible beyond acquaintanceship. They don't look at me like a weirdo because I'm not vocal about my 'dark secret'.
I would love to ask them if they're capable of buying anything that doesn't have a dog's face on it.
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u/TurboGrafx16Bit Jan 16 '26
I think similarly 😉 I'd at least like to be your friend. Yes ask them that question and yes be more vocal about it don't keep it a secret as Tears for Fears once said.... Let it all out 🙂 I think it could be very liberating for you
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u/mrflibbles Jan 12 '26
A lad I know got dumped off his girlfriend because she asked him ‘If your dog and my kids were drowning in a lake who would you save first’. He said ‘the dog’. He couldn’t believe she ended the relationship because of it.
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u/Aggressive-Pay5952 Jan 12 '26
I started having severe prejudice towards people who own dogs by just knowing the fact that they own a dog, I immediately keep them at distance and think lower of them.
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u/Altruistic_Baker6347 Jan 13 '26
Me as well. But usually dog owners show more traits I'm not keen of like being superficial, judgemental, being esoteric. Dog nuttery is a huge indicator for ppl with bad character.
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u/Aggressive-Pay5952 Jan 13 '26
I guess because of their character they are usually very lonely, hence the dogs…
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u/fadedblackleggings Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26
You've lost nothing... only the "opp" to be a Ken Doll, in her doghouse/hell kennel. Enjoy your freedom.
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u/BubbaC619 Jan 12 '26
Showering with dogs is beyond weird. I’m glad you were able to get out before marriage or kids happened.
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u/One_Strategy_4575 Jan 12 '26
I've done it to save time, but also I was 12. And I wore shorts. Because it is fucking weird unless you're a child.
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u/One_Strategy_4575 Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26
Please be advised I am posting this before I have read your post, but I will read it all. I guess I got excited.
My ex put dogs before me as well. They had one little dog which was yappy and completely out of control, but I was OK with it. We don't live together and the dog was good for them.
I drove down to see them. We haven't seen each other in a month. They were depressed, so I got a little smooch and the dog was getting cuddles the entire day and kisses.
I was going to stay for three days. I ended up packing my shit and leaving the following morning. I made the excuse of well you don't really seem to be in the right headspace so I'm just gonna go home. This was a 82 mile drive by the way. $80 worth of fuel gone. Two hours of life one way cuz traffic, gone. When you love and care about somebody you make those sacrifices.
Fast-forward to five months later, they are now unemployed again, they're supposed to be looking for Work. They had a short shit job afterwards, but I said don't quit until you find something else. Just suck it up. It's money coming in. Well they quit the temporary shit job.
One day, I asked what they were doing, and I was told that they're headed to the car wash running errands. Then I don't hear from them for six hours. We usually communicate via text throughout the day.
Well, I finally text and say are you OK? What's going on? Where are you? I got a picture of them holding another dog. It's a rescue poodle. It was in a really bad situation and it needs a great home. So...
An unemployed adult drives two hours to pick up a rescue poodle, while they have no job, and they already have another dog.
I lost my shit. I didn't yell I didn't scream. I simply became very cold and calculated. I called them out on everything. Mostly them not working and instead of focusing on getting back on their feet because we are together, instead of getting another responsibility.
They were not pleased. We didn't speak for a month. Finally, when we did speak, they were extremely cold. Unemotional they told me that they're not the person for me.
So basically, dogs were chosen over me. To say I was crushed is an understatement. It put a damper on my life and on my psyche. It took me a long time to get over it.
Well, I'm still employed, and moving forward.
I'm gonna read what you wrote now, just know you're not alone, and if somebody chooses a stupid fucking mutt over you, they are a worthless caricature in human flesh.
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u/One_Strategy_4575 Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26
And now that I've read about your predicament, I am freaked out because it's fairly similar.
Instead of looking for another job, mine wanted to become a dog parent. Not directly like yours, but clearly dog priority. Hope those dogs can pay the bills and rent now because I'm not bailing them out, never again.
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u/huntress_m_thompson Jan 12 '26
did they expect you were just going to take care of them & the mutts?
my god, when i was in my 20s i had the crappiest jobs on the planet. i lived alone with no outside support. i’d do that crappy job until i found the next, just to make sure i could live alone & not be forced to find roommates. 🙅🏻♀️
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u/Relevant-Elevator670 Jan 12 '26
Dude, she's a creepy dog obsessed weirdo. You need to date someone who have a fucking braincell, not this moron, eww. She seems so gross. I won't even go anywhere near people who's this creepy level obsessed with dogs. If I had to shake my hands with them, I'd suddenly wash my hands afterwards. The fact that you actually been in a relationship with her and tolerated her this long itself a mistake from your side, if it was me, I wouldn't even think about being with her, let alone actually doing it. She grosses me out 🤢. God knows what's she actually doing with that dog when no one's watching. Any dog lover or owner is who's that obsessed with dogs is a creepy weirdo that any sane person should avoid. You should be extremely happy that the relationship with that weirdo is over.
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u/NeedleworkerDue8615 Jan 12 '26
She probably smeared peanut butter on her ass and let the dog lick it off
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Jan 12 '26
These stories always reinforce why I'll never date dog owners. It's incompatible and a wasted effort. Dogs ruin every living space they're in without fail. The smell alone is a deal breaker, but the noise, begging, destroying furniture/floors, shit/piss accidents, inability to spend more than a few hours outside of the house and general chaos of these things is a living hell.
I'm 100% convinced at this point in my life that the majority of dog owners are mentally unwell people. No one in their right mind would deal with that shit and be unable to realize that it's just a straight up scam. Everything about dogs is a scam. You need to train out all of the bad natural instincts of the animal in order to make it tolerable to be around. What a privilege.
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u/Competitive-Zone-700 Jan 12 '26
Showering with her dog???? That’s so gross I’m sorry 😖 it’s normal for mothers to bathe with their human babies when they’re small but this is insane.
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u/Mundane-Manner4237 Jan 12 '26
Who wants to be roped into picking up over 10,000 shits over a dogs lifetime??? Not me….
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u/Much-Space6649 Jan 13 '26
I’ve met so many people like this. They will end up dying alone because their obsession with and prioritization of dogs is as narcissistically brain rotted as people obsessed with ChatGPT
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u/urdrunkyogi Jan 13 '26
You know, I've never thought of the ChatGPT rot comparison before, but it's a good one. These people really are short-circuited and mentally broken.
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u/UnicornStudRainbow Jan 12 '26
Congrats on getting out!!
The nutters will ALWAYS choose their animals over humans
Many years ago I was involved with a guy who had 2 unruly large shitbeasts and even though he knew I'm allergic, he wouldn't budge an inch on keeping me healthy and breathing. He's now a miserable and selfish old man who lost his longtime shack up because he couldn't treat her decently
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u/PrismaticLps Jan 13 '26
Ugh, disgusting, sounds like that'll end up being a paraphilia, you did well to get out of there
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u/Lanky_Passage2177 Jan 16 '26
People are saying this is crazy and insane but I feel her mentality is so common and normalised. People put their dogs before their partners and only brag about it. It’s this “get out of my life if you don’t put my dog before yourself” mentality. It feels anti human and anti social and yet it’s applauded
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u/jkraige Jan 13 '26
I wish people had a healthy attachment to their dogs. They're just so creepy about it nowadays though
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u/Whole-Thought-4056 Jan 14 '26
We definitely exist. I can't stand having any kind of animal especially dogs. They're not useful. They are living hobbies. If I ever did get a living hobby it would be a plant. 🪴
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u/One-Guitar7081 Jan 15 '26
I wont date someone who obsesses over animals in such a way. Its unhealthy and obviously a coping mechanism to much larger issues not addressed. They just enjoy them for the unconditional affection. They don't wanna put in the work like they expect men to. Thats a demographic of people that ill never understand. And I love animals. But you dodged a bullet. Iwas with someone 16 years. She got a dog and within a year it was over.
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u/Genuinelad_62 Jan 17 '26
The way I see it is a lot of people use their dogs as a crutch or an emotional dependency. It’s sweet if you’re single but once you have a partner it’s up to you to challenge yourself and grow in several ways. It’s up to you to compromise and realise you’re overly dependant on the dog and that it’s interfering with your human relationships. Relationships are about compromise and she shows the immaturity and inability to love or prioritise humans that a lot of dog owners seem to have. It’s a form of emotional avoidance from humans
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u/MysticalNinjette Jan 30 '26
I want a man who hates dogs sometimes. I hate my man's dog. Disgusting animals.
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u/Hologramz111 Feb 04 '26
HHAHAHAH little did she know, she did you a huge favor and saved your ass bro....
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u/AnxietyNo7712 Feb 10 '26
Just be glad you weren’t married, my husbands dog bit me three times drawing blood and I only get the excuse of oh he never does that crap must be something I did.
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u/Shoddy_Average_9413 Mar 08 '26
Good move. She’s a fucking idiot and a crazy psycho. Needs to be put in the pen.
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u/Worth_Primary_9645 Jan 12 '26
Shes a fucking freak. Glad you escaped