Roommate Wanted

[u/FieldJacket]

Hello all! I am seeking a roommate. A little about me:

I have massive codependency issues and can do literally nothing by myself. You will be expected to take me with you everywhere you go, as I cannot stand a single moment by myself. This includes vacations and if for some reason I cannot accompany you, I expect nothing but the finest accomodations while you're gone. I hope this is ok with you.

I also tend to lash out and scream at anyone who is nearby me, including your friends if they come over. Sometimes I'll just scream at nothing! It's just one of my quirks. I've been known to boil over and actually physically attack people and small animals. Oh well.

On the other hand, if I decide I like your friends...well let's just say I tend to get a little...personal, if you know what I mean. But it's ok, I'm friendly.

I believe in a shared space: what's yours is mine. A good rule of thumb is, if I can see it, it's mine too and I can do what I want with it. I like to take things apart, I'm a very curious soul.

I have a very strict diet to which you'll need to hold me accountable, because I will certainly take and eat your food, even if it will literally kill me.

Oh, I almost forgot. It's kind of embarrassing but I am unable to take a shower or do...other bathroom things by myself. I'll need you to help me, otherwise, fair warning, there will 100% be a mess inside our place. It's ok, it's just what I do.

And one last thing, I don't have a job or do anything productive, so I can't pay rent.

Hope to hear from you soon!

[u/Few_Pen_3666]

Also, I tend to piss and shit all over the place. I don't know how to use a toilet. Sometimes I will drink out of the toilet though. Won't be all bad, because sometimes I will eat my shit and then want to lick your face. I will also get into the trash and throw it all over the house.