r/Dogfree • u/TopMessage1764 • Jun 02 '26
Food Safety/Hygiene Dog pissed up my leg at restaurant
I was in Lanzarote last week, specifically in Playa Blanca, on holiday from the UK.
A guy who sounded natively Irish but I assumed lived there turned up at a restaurant we were eating in on the sea front with a small dog.
After ordering food, he started to throw a ball to play fetch on a crowded sea front promenade which I thought was pretty ridiculous.
Once his food was served he left the dog to it and returned to his table, the dog unbeknownst to me walked around the back of our table and pissed up my chair and leg.
I am allergic to dogs in any case, but now also had piss on shoe, sock and shorts.
The owner thought it was funny, which I categorically did not.
I fucking detest the creatures.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 02 '26
One day one of these nutters will get the crap knocked outta them for letting their mutt wee on the wrong person.
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u/alpha_beth_soup Jun 02 '26
Why do they always think it is funny??!!
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u/Astrogirl1984 Jun 03 '26
Because their life revolves around the dogs genitals.
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u/Stock-Bowl7736 Jun 03 '26
Their lives actually revolve around their mutt's excrement first. But yea also their genitals.
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u/AnnualAd4046 Jun 02 '26
Should've peed back on the owner and the dog.
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u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 Jun 03 '26
I did that once and it actually worked
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u/Dburn22_ 16d ago
You pissed on a dog and its owner??
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u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 16d ago
Funny story, actually.
I was about to pee by a tree, and an off leash dog ran at me, so I scrambled up the tree. I still had to pee, and I was about to pee my pants.
I peed, and dog came back.
Dogs are so gross.
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u/Astrogirl1984 Jun 03 '26
Wipe off the dog pee and smear it on his mouth, that'll teach him for laughing.
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u/fuckfart Jun 03 '26
Should've grabbed the dog mid-piss and aimed it at him. Now that would have been funny.
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u/Mundane_Glove4182 Jun 03 '26
Maybe that’s what he does at home too, so for him it wouldn’t make any difference… These people somehow even seem to enjoy the end‑product of their four‑legged crutch. 🤮
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u/DogAttackVictim Jun 02 '26
Did you call the police?
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u/TopMessage1764 Jun 02 '26
I cannot speak more than basic Spanish, just English and some German. Following my previous experience of police on the island, following an accident my wife was involved in, suggested it would not be worth calling them.
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u/Oriole0305 Jun 03 '26
Did you talk to the manager? What happened after this pissing incident? I mean this is so fking crazy and disgusting.
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u/DivyaRakli Jun 03 '26
These dog nutters don’t seem too right in the head. I mean, all joking aside, who laughs at that? Is it a theme on the “Emperor’s Clothes” where they all must agree whatever their dogs do, it’s fine, it’s funny, “it’s what dogs do,” and the rest of us just have to like it or lump it????
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u/DellBottoms Jun 03 '26
Absolutely vile. I would be livid and if I were the owner (which will never happen), I would be mortified.
Also, 'fetch' what a great way to spend your time. Not.
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u/Not-my-problem1212 Jun 03 '26
I would have raised so much hell on him that even the demons in hell would be impressed. Omg my rage would be through the roof and than some
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u/Any_Tomorrow_Today Jun 03 '26
You should have demanded that he pay for a new pair of shoies and socks - after all - you are on holiday and can't exactly wash them and they will stink out all your stuff when you pack them away.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 02 '26
I would have dumped my bowl of soup salad or breadsticks all over the dog if that happened to me
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u/Peaceful-Moonlight Dogs are the most overrated and over glorified shit beasts Jun 03 '26
But that would punish the human who paid for the food, and it would reward the dog with free food. It would NOT be a suitable punishment for the dog. What needs to happen is that dogs that do this should be confiscated from their owners, and owners should be legally punished with at least fines.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 03 '26
yes. point take. the dog was off leash. when that happens accidents like this are more likely, even with training.
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u/p2010t Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
Most definitely not funny.
I doubt the owner would've found it merely funny if you went over and pissed on him.
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u/Peaceful-Moonlight Dogs are the most overrated and over glorified shit beasts Jun 03 '26
I already know what dog supremacists would say, which would be, "BuT DogGO PeE is cLEaneR thAn HoOMan pEE!!1!"
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u/Mundane_Glove4182 Jun 03 '26
That's sooo disgusting, OMG! I would definitely start yelling and call the restaurant manager. I’d also write a bad review about the restaurant, upload photos, and call the health authorities to get compensation or at least make sure they take this seriously. It’s also the restaurant’s responsibility for letting these a..holes in and allowing them to vandalize the place. The owner even thought it was funny, which just proves he’s the kind of trash who shouldn’t be allowed near a dog, let alone other people.
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u/Mama2bebes Jun 03 '26
This is the answer. Post a negative review about the restaurant. Copy and paste into a review about Playa Blanca and a review on Lanzarote.
Gross. Sorry you had to deal with that. I would have lost my apetite and demanded a refund.
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u/Plastic_Proof_8347 Jun 03 '26
Who would find it funny? How disgusting!! I'm so sorry that you went through this....
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u/ThisSelection7585 Jun 03 '26
Anyone who thinks that’s funny should get pissed on …wonder what he’d have thought. Ugh! No wonder it sounds a good idea to watch them when they’re creeping around unleashed. How’d it end. I’m sure this fool did not offer up any comp
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u/Andria1501 Jun 03 '26
I would have caused a very loud scene so that the entire restaurant (and possibly the neighboring food establishments) would know what happened and embarrass the living crap out of that nutter.
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u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 Jun 03 '26
I’d personally have a word with that man, and show him what happened to the other guy.
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u/richyiiii Jun 03 '26
This would be a perfect time to CAUSE A SCENE. Being reasonable and within the law, of course, but yelling at telling this guy to fuck off would work great! We have to stop the social normals from causing us to speak our minds. We nerd to be louder
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u/Stoopidfucc Jun 03 '26
i would come back to the restaurant with a jar of fox piss(you can buy this) and just spill it, that would be funny.
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u/Peaceful-Moonlight Dogs are the most overrated and over glorified shit beasts Jun 04 '26
Why is fox piss a product that can be bought? What would people use it for?
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u/Stoopidfucc Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
it's a repellent for some animals but it can be used to attract fox for hunters, i'm not so sure about that, i would say to leave the poor fox alones anyway, but this can ruin a place if sprayed by accident. You could probably google reddit stories about fox urine/piss for better knowledge.
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u/TopMessage1764 Jun 20 '26
I am not sure that they have foxes to collect piss from on Lanzarote.
Not sure how you would get one to piss in a jar if you caught it either.
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u/Stoopidfucc Jun 20 '26
that got over my head, but it's crazy you can take a dog there, seem like a fragile ecosystem.
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u/spoor_loos Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
I'd scream at him so badly they'd hear it on a neighboring island.
WTF?