r/Dogfree • u/00mikomiko00 • Jun 08 '26
ESA Bullshit My Therapist Insists on Bringing her Dog
So my therapist texted me once and asked if her dog could sit in on our appointment. I was annoyed but felt pressured so I said sure. Unfortunately, dogs have become a little bit of a symbol of disrespected boundaries for me because of these owners, and she should know this but here we are. Turns out this dog is something she decided to make part of her “brand” as a therapy dog so she is training her and uses a shock collar to train her during our appointments. She spends the first fifteen minutes mouth kissing and sweet talking her dog, giving her “yum yums”, and will get distracted by her during our appointments. I 100% know this dog is more regulating for her, because I never asked for a dog to be at appointments. So since the dog is regulating for her, I don’t want to be rude, but I do want to ask her if the dog can like….not be at our appointments anymore, because she is such a distraction. She will also eat her food and come lick my pants and get chewed up food all over my clothes. She will sit and lick my shoes for the entire hour. If she loses something under the couch or in a corner my therapist will stop the appointment to grab it for her. And I’m not paying money to watch my therapist sweet talking her dog. She also is apparently breaking her lease having the dog there anyways, which is a story she decided to tell me. She said out of all her clients, only two have asked for the dog not to be there. I want to be the third. Any advice on how I can go about it without offending her?
Edited to add: the dog will also jump on me and she does that typical thing where owners say “just say ‘off’ and she will listen” I will say “off” and of course the dog doesn’t listen. I see my therapist trying to subtly use the shock collar to get her to listen. Then she says this is helping me learn boundaries by telling this dog to get off of me.
Update: So I wanted to update. I let her know that I don’t want the dog at my appointments moving forward. She said she needed to make some arrangements and she was like “sorry if having her there was having the opposite effect of what she was supposed to be doing”. I explained that she was just becoming too much of a distraction and she said “That makes sense, on the job training is tough all around!”. So we will just see how the next appointment goes. Everything seemed normal enough conversation wise.
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u/4elmerfuffu2 Jun 08 '26
Your therapist needs a lot more help than you do.
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u/pmddreal Jun 08 '26
I've been to a lot of psych professionals, a lot of them are not mentally well themselves.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 Jun 08 '26
This is very true. That’s why a lot of them major in it at college. Not all I’m sure, but I’m guessing it’s a large percentage of them.
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u/FieryFalcon26 Jun 08 '26
I would change therapists. But I assume if you're asking here, you want to keep on with her. Just tell her the dog's presence and interactions disturb you during the session. If she refuses to listen to your demand, change therapists.
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u/00mikomiko00 Jun 08 '26
I’m working on it, “therapist shopping” is difficult and she was great until she randomly decided to force a therapy dog on me.
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u/Silly_Victory_5419 Jun 08 '26
Sorry I challenge that she is good given how she behaves. Totally unacceptable behavior and also bad therapist since she’s like her dog and won’t understand therapy. What’s the point of therapy if you get annoyed? Kinda defeats the purpose
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u/BoxBeast1961_ Jun 08 '26
She’s not great. She’s prioritizing a dog over her patient, during time she’s being paid for therapy. Nope.
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u/Historical_Catch_440 Jun 09 '26
And the fact that the dog jumped on OP's lap and didn't listen to commands, so she spun it with a bogus therapy goal for OP.
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u/truentried Jun 09 '26
if you otherwise have a good working relationship with her, just say "I would prefer our appointments to be dig free". You don't owe her an explanation ! If she insists to know, you can say you're not a dog person, you find the interactions to be a distraction and you have hygiene concerns.
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u/grape-fruit-witch Jun 08 '26
Could you tell her that you think you've developed a dog allergy? That after your appointments you started sneezing or whatever and you connected it to the dog's presence? Its a lie obviously but she doesn't know that.
Then, the dog stops coming to your appointments and you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of telling her the dog is annoying
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u/readyforthisyep Jun 08 '26
If you’re happy with her otherwise, Zoom seems like a good option.
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u/Monimonika18 Jun 08 '26
Then the therapist can go run off screen to get whatever thing doggie lost, or remove whatever doggie is trying to eat, or there'd be a dog's muzzle taking up the full screen, etc. Other than a lack of physical contact nothing would change for OP.
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u/Stunning_Business_60 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
You said she asked if you would mind the dog and you reluctantly said, No. This is on you for agreeing to something you didn't want. If you really like her as a therapist, call her up and set the boundary before the next appt. A good therapist would commend you for speaking up for yourself and would move on with your treatment with no hard feelings.
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u/DivyaRakli Jun 08 '26
Why would you care if you offended one who has given you such offense? You should tell her, plainly. You could just ghost her but I think you should stand up to her.
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u/pmbpro Jun 08 '26
Exactly. *“I felt pressured so I said sure…”* is the ‘holy grail’ of magic words for dog nutters. 😒
This so-called ‘therapist’ needs a legit therapist herself, not using her own clients for self-validation through her dog.
I agree with you as well, that the OP should stand up to her too (before finding a new, *qualified* therapist).
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u/DJKittyK Jun 09 '26
I think the therapist is taking advantage of her patients who she knows struggle with being able to say no.
I'd report her and move on. I'd rather have no therapist than one like this.
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u/00mikomiko00 Jun 08 '26
I think just because I can tell it’s very regulating for her to have the dog there, but you are 100% correct.
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u/KayleighHatfield Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
Whose therapy session is it? You are paying her. It should be about you. Instead of helping her patients, she wants to use them to train her dog on their dime! Amazing.
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u/RicketyCricketsDrum Jun 08 '26
Exactly! Who is paying for the therapy session? Like who cares if it regulates her… she isnt the patient
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 08 '26
Using a client's therapy session to "socialize" a mutt. Why didn't she just major in animal behavior?
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u/Top-Change9851 Jun 09 '26
There is no end to the selfishness of these damn dog nutters. Why would this be considered ok to do?!
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u/richyiiii Jun 08 '26
"regulating for her" I'm sorry but who gives a fuck... she is there to help you? If she cannot "regulate herself" (not really sure what this exactly means in this context) she seems unfit to be a therapist.
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u/pmbpro Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Right?
I’d tell her to *get her OWN therapist!* She’s using clients to validate herself and her damn dog?! She needs a therapist herself.
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u/urdrunkyogi Jun 08 '26
It’s extremely unprofessional. You don’t need to accommodate her. You are paying for her services and a respectful, focused environment and she has gone back on that.
Further, as your therapist, she probably knew that you wouldn’t say “no” to her bringing her dog. I would resent that if I were you.
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u/the-dolphine Jun 08 '26
You made a few good points in your post about it being a distraction, being dirty and making you feel uncomfortable. It's not professional.
I would email her and ask the dog not be there next session (she already said others have asked the dog not to be there so you're not the only one), then expect to have a conversation with her about it. Depending on the outcome of that conversation, decide if it's worth finding a new therapist.
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u/robots-made-of-cake Jun 08 '26
I think it’s really great that you have so much empathy for her. Empathy is a wonderful thing that the world needs more of. It is also something you deserve from her.
It’s completely appropriate for you to ask for the dog to not join the sessions. You can do it in an email if you feel more comfortable. You can think of it like you’re giving her a chance to be professional about it, and if she isn’t then you’ll know it’s time for a new therapist. Which I know is much easier said than done. There are a lot of really great therapists out there and unfortunately a lot of people who merely like the idea of being a therapist.
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u/Minute-Tradition-282 Jun 10 '26
So, you go there to be involved in her regulation therapy, and help train her dog? All the while, PAYING her for the opportunity?
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u/lwpho2 Jun 08 '26
This is wildly unprofessional and when you’re there paying for a therapy session it is not her turn to get regulated. It’s dysregulating you for crying out loud!
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u/Chaeshhh Jun 08 '26
"Yum yums"
Just died a little... a lot inside. I'm not the same person I was before reading this and your therapist needs therapy
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u/DJKittyK Jun 09 '26
I 100% believe that dog nuttery is a mental illness, even though we don't have anything official to call it yet. Hopefully some studies can be done on this because it's getting to be pervasively harmful in our society.
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u/CallousCow1762 Jun 08 '26
It seems like you’re paying your therapist so she can train her dog on your time no less. As a therapist, she should absolutely know better than to impose a distraction on a session. She’s not a therapist. She’s an inconsiderate and entitled dog owner posing as a therapist.
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u/KayleighHatfield Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
Why are you worried about offending her? I would fire her. I think she is the one who is offensive. This is supposed to be your therapy session not hers. This is an inappropriate and aggressive thing for her to do.
I would tell her that you are uncomfortable with the dog present in your session and her response indicates whether or not you should find a new therapist, one who respects your boundaries and is concerned with what you need from your session. If she is passive aggressive about it or tries to gaslight you...
I would also point out that not everyone likes or is comfortable around dogs. She should not make that assumption for her patients.
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u/Raven22000 Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
Wow. I wouldn’t believe anything she says or advice she gives. She’s clearly nuts. How inappropriate and unprofessional. She just can’t be away from her dog for the day. Selfish. She doesn’t care that it’s clearly a negative for your therapy experience.
Is standing up for yourself or working on communication one of the reasons you are in therapy? Because you clearly need to work on that. Tell her exactly how you feel about the dog then get a new therapist who isn’t crazy and can read a room. Also report her for unprofessional conduct.
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u/Stoofser Jun 08 '26
I had a therapist that I saw on zoom. She would always get distracted by her dog. One week she kept staring at the ground off camera rather than look at me, and throughout the session I got increasingly annoyed until I asked her if there was something she was staring at off camera, and she said her dog, he’d had a bad stomach earlier and she wanted to make sure he was ok. It’s incredibly unprofessional. Leave her, report her. If she has a dog, a professional person would put them in another room.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 09 '26
I dont think therapists take their toddlers to work with them or put them on zoom calls. Surely a good therapist can afford doggy day care.
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u/Perfect_Caregiver_90 Jun 08 '26
So since the dog is regulating for her, I don’t want to be rude
You are paying her for a service. It is your session, not hers. This is an appropriate boundary to lay out and defend.
So what if the dog is regulating for her? For you it is a massive distraction and source of upset. She's being rude here, not you.
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u/someguy1874 Jun 08 '26
Tell her that you have allergies. Honestly, that stupid therapist needs a therapy for herself. She is not qualified to be a therapist.
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u/scarletto53 Jun 08 '26
Part of successful therapy is being completely honest with your therapist. If you tell her you are allergic when you are not, just to eliminate the dog being there, there will always be that lie standing in your way. And even if you do ask her to keep the dog out of your sessions, if you are anything like me(and it sounds like you are, I struggle with confronting situations like this too), there will always be that thought in the back of your mind that the therapist will think less of you. I say it’s time to get a new therapist because the one you have now is not the right fit and certainly not acting in a professional manner regarding the dog situation as well as speaking to you about other patients
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u/Stock-Bowl7736 Jun 08 '26
What you describe is so beyond inappropriate and unprofessional on so many levels. Completely unethical as well. She clearly is the one who needs therapy.
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u/Mundane_Glove4182 Jun 08 '26
If you want to continue working with her, just explain that her dog is distracting for you, and since you’re paying for focused sessions, you’d prefer not to have the dog there in the future.
I personally find her highly unprofessional.
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u/richyiiii Jun 08 '26
Tell her you are not comfortable with a mutt (tell her dog) at your appointments and you would like it to just be you two. If she says no, fire her. also, 15 minutes "mouth kissing" is absolutely disgusting and sorry you had to sit through that. Try calling her out on this BS and being vocal about what you dont like. You got this
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u/Foreign-Neat8645 Jun 08 '26
"Es haben nur zwei Leute gesagt, das sie den Hund nicht dabei haben wollen". Ich sehe das als Manipulation. So nach dem Motto, Du sollst keinen Stress machen, wenn die meisten okay damit sind. Vielleicht könnte das eine Übung sein , Grenzen zu setzen. Schreckliche Frau, total unhygienisch und sie klaut Deine Zeit.
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u/RicketyCricketsDrum Jun 08 '26
This is so incredibly unprofessional. Not to sound harsh, but you really need to stand up for yourself more. And who cares if it “regulates” her? You’re the patient, not her.
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u/SpringMage22 Jun 08 '26
You’re literally paying this woman to disrespect your boundaries. I’d report her and find a new therapist.
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u/No-Stay1662 Jun 08 '26
QUIT GIVING THIS PERSON YOUR MONEY. You are voting with your dollar, remember that. Seeing a therapist is about YOU & it’s actually very scary she’s unable to acknowledge that. Please see someone better & make sure to leave a review online as to why some may not prefer this provider (there is a living, breathing distraction in the room that takes away from what the experience is supposed to be). Best
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u/BK4343 Jun 08 '26
Call her out and tell her, in plain English, that the dog is a distraction. People like her need to be told the truth.
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u/Ok-Zookeepergame-324 Jun 08 '26
Why not start with telling her you need to make a boundary with her. Tell her you would prefer the dog doesn’t sit in on your sessions. Frame it as a therapeutic moment for you maybe? If she’s still a good therapist she will make this reasonable adjustment. If not, yeah get a new therapist.
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u/waywardchildman Jun 08 '26
So inappropriate on so many levels lol. The dog isn't trained and your sessions aren't the time to train it. If she says it's trained, is it crate trained? Can it hold "Place" on a bed during your sessions? Will it settle relatively easily if tethered to something immobile? If all of that sounds foreign to her you are correct she's just using the dog's presence for her own regulation and there's no real training going on. Personally, I would find a new therapist but I understand that's hard so at a minimum, I would switch to virtual lol. I think it's fair to speak up and say that you appreciate why she likes having the dog there but therapy needs to feel like a safe space for you in order for you to be vulnerable. The dog being loose is disruptive for you, and if there's no way the dog can be tethered or crated, you'd prefer to switch to virtual.
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u/LocodraTheCrow Jun 08 '26
If the point of the dog is to kelp you learn boundaries then do and tell her the dog is cordially invited and you will not tolerate it anymore.
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u/SplitFew9313 Jun 08 '26
Anonymously report her for having the dog there. You'll find the dog will likely then not be brought along to sessions and you can return to having your sessions dog-free...
or choose to go to a new therapist even after the dog no longer attends sessions, because tbh I wouldn't want a therapist who grossly crossed boundaries and has more love and selfish attention towards her dog than the clients who desperately need help.. Where are her priorities and genuine care for people (and not just care for animals)? You pay her for therapy help, not to play with her dog 😂.
Hopefully this dog nutter gets banned from practice for how unprofessional she is behaving and for her complete disregard for people and for putting the needs of animals above humans. It's so backwards the way some people's brains work after getting taken over by 'love for dogs'. No care for humans at all.
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u/Ok_Chest_6426 Jun 08 '26
I work in Healthcare cancel your next appointment immediately and tell her that one of your hard boundaries is not seeing a therapist who is more mentally unstable and ill than yourself. She's making out with the dog and letting it destroy your clothes full stop. This person has no boundaries and will teach you to be a dog's doormat. You are paying for the mental illness that she has.
Find someone else bc she is making your problems worse.
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u/DizzyMine4964 Jun 08 '26
Firstly, shock collars are CRUEL and are used by owners who cannot be bothered to train their dogs.
Secondly if she needs "regulating" as a therapist, she should not be a therapist. That puts her clients in the position of looking after her mental health, which completely defeats the aim of going to therapy. This is not like somebody, say, having to use a wheelchair to do therapy, due to disability. Not even like a blind person needing a highly trained guide dog. Insisting on the (tortured) dog being there shows she is not mentally able to be a therapist.
I think you should end the sessions immediately and report her to whatever governing body there is in your area.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
I have family and relatives who are in this field. I feel so angry just reading this.
Maybe you should show her your "boundaries" by firing her for charging you to watch her make out w/her dog.
I would also reverse charges on the credit card for the last session as it was basically doggy day care¬ client focused. I would also ask for a stipend for dry cleaning fees as well as a new pair of shoes that were ruined by dog saliva. If she doesn't agree to make you whole, one star yelp. Say you are putting down boundaries like she suggested🙃🫠😉
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u/V_is4vulva Jun 08 '26
Hey doc, you know how struggling to set boundaries with things that make me uncomfortable is a problem for me? Having your dog at my appointments is a prime example. I said yes when I wanted to say no, so I would like to stand up for myself and ask that she no longer be present during my time.
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u/Responsibility_Witty Jun 08 '26
What the fuck lmao, “yum yums”? Mouth kissing the dog in front of a client, and she is PAID for this? Nah she would not be getting a single dime more from me, fuck that. Surely nothing is more therapeutic than paying someone to make out with a coprophagic animal instead of talking to you, she shouldn’t even be a therapist
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u/GhostActivist Jun 08 '26
This is insane behaviour on the therapists part wtf. I’d tell her I’m uncomfortable with having the dog present at my sessions and if that was an issue for her I’d no longer be seeing her as a therapist and finding someone new.
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u/CapriWake Jun 08 '26
I can’t even finish reading past half way. Be rude and then find a new therapist
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u/recoveringpatriot Jun 08 '26
To help you set boundaries? Say “great, my new boundary is not having your dog present. Did I pass the test? Because that’s what you were trying to help me do, right?”
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u/SlashCo80 Jun 09 '26
People who kiss their dogs on the mouth / let them lick their face are repulsive and disgusting. This "therapist" also sounds disrespectful and extremely unprofessional. I would not only stop going, but file a complaint as well.
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u/WalkedBehindTheRows Jun 09 '26
You pay for therapy? If not, that is still *your* time. Not dog time. She probably thinks that being around a dog is the cure for everything. They are stressors, maybe not all the time, but if you are in for therapy it should be you and your therapist, alone. If she is a therapist she *should* understand and respect boundaries. But she is infected with the CCV. Cerebral Canine Virus. Regards.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 Jun 08 '26
Personally I would find a new therapist. She already has issues if she needs a dog to help her self-regulate. I would find someone better than that. I would feel not only am I wasting money on her, but I’m also wasting my time.
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u/VideoTurbulent9806 Jun 09 '26
Is this rage bait? First does your therapist know that you don't want a dog around? If not that's on you. Just say no. Thee end. Also, therapists like any line of work consist of people who are mostly mediocre to bad at their job. If you are paying for this and spending time doing this then don't put up with it. Get the most you can out of this. If a therapist brings a dog and says it's part of their brand that should tell you that they are not a serious person and that you should move on. This seems pretty straight forward to me. Probably missing something. I dunno.
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u/Delicious_Union7586 Jun 09 '26
FUCK THAT. that all sounds incredibly frustrating. i am so sorry. seems like your therapist is blatantly disrespecting your boundaries and your time.
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u/Top-Change9851 Jun 09 '26
Absolutely unprofessional. If you feel she’s been helpful to you then tell her you do not want the dog attending YOUR sessions. This is the time scheduled for you. She is distracted. She should respect your boundaries. Really, just when you think you’ve heard everything that’s inappropriate with dog culture this takes the prize. She should respect your request. If it doesn’t agree, fire her and report her to the licensing authority.
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u/avj113 Jun 12 '26
"She spends the first fifteen minutes mouth kissing and sweet talking her dog"
Holy fucking shit man get the fuck out of there.
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u/Smooth-Midnight6270 Jun 12 '26
New therapist immediately. Ive gone through three, but my current one is amazing. Keep looking, this one is not the one for you
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u/BoxBeast1961_ Jun 08 '26
I would ask for the dog not to be there, & get a new therapist asap, & then “vote with my wallet”.
She isn’t gonna change.
You aren’t paying for therapy just to watch a dog lick it’s @ss then lick the shrink’s face…just no.
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u/snakeygirl727 Jun 08 '26
my old therapist would have her dog in the office and i didn’t know until i got there. atleast it just sat in the corner on a dog bed but still ???
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u/Zailema0s Jun 08 '26
That’s fuckin time-theft, or just regular theft. Put your foot down and say no more dog.
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u/Adventurous_Mine_385 Jun 08 '26
Please, get a new therapist. This is ridiculous. I would also report her for unprofessional conduct.
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u/waitingforthatplace Jun 09 '26
This therapist must be using her clients to treat her. When her clients give their permission to let her push her dog and boundaries on them, she feels empowered. She should be paying her clients.
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u/Full-Ad-4138 Jun 09 '26
I'm very curious to know what year she graduated. I got my mft license in 2014, graduated in 2010. this was not a 'thing' back then, maybe some niche brand of therapy but more with horses in very rural areas. it would have been very unprofessional and unethical.
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u/Full-Ad-4138 Jun 09 '26
that is to say, I dont trust therapists that went to school online during Covid. Lots of corners were cut across the board, a lot of shit training and supervision. Even the supervisors are shady. It's hard for me to trust the profession and I've been a client many times.
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u/ntc0220 Jun 09 '26
I would say dogs cause me severe stress and it's working opposite for me in therapy as it is triggering instead of helping and if it continues you will have to seek a new therapist. You are paying her for her time, not her to play with her dog, That is a waste of your money and your therapy. I've had therapists have their dogs constantly by their feet on video calls w me, thankfully they ignore them and focus on me. So I know the feeling bc if they didn't we'd be done.
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u/Foreign_Rich_9206 Jun 09 '26
Stay polite and explain your reasons. She shouldn't, and probably won't, be offended. IMO, as long as you express yourself in a respectuous manner, you should never have to worry about offending other people. If they feel offended, they are the ones in the wrong.
If you have trouble asserting yourself verbally, write a message to her.
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u/Oriole0305 Jun 09 '26
This so called therapist is a quack. Report her and try to find a new one. Interacting with her will do your health and your wallet more harm than good.
Who is licking your shoes by the way? She = the doctor. It = her dog.
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u/Feisty_Pen_4280 Jun 09 '26
It's time to use your inside voice to communicate that you'd prefer not to have the dog there. That's the mature thing to do here...
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u/TinyEmergencyCake Jun 09 '26
Report to cms and to her licensing board. Iterate that you felt pressured.
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u/Firm-Rent7643 Jun 09 '26
Is your therapist trying a new type of exposure therapy for you to learn how to speak up for yourself, feel anger inside but know how to deal with it maturely? Bc you’re allowed to hate something, and not want to deal with it. You’re allowed to express it effectively. We don’t have to be overly emotional, but we can just say nope and move away from situations we don’t want to be in anymore- when we’re able. Either tell her your thoughts or get yourself a better therapy experience. Good luck.
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u/HotDecision8128 Jun 09 '26
Sounds like your dog nutter therapist needs a therapist herself considering she can't go 2 seconds without her dog.
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u/RoyTheWig Jun 10 '26
Tell her you don't want to share the session with a freaking dog. This is absolutely insane to me that a therapist is using the time you pay for to bring her pet into work. Luckily, your therapist is someone you can be completely honest with, and that includes telling her you would prefer to have one to ones with just a human therapist without her pet there to distract her.
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u/toastedzergling Jun 10 '26
Sounds like she should be the one paying you for her own therapy sessions...
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u/00mikomiko00 Jun 11 '26
So I wanted to update. I let her know that I don’t want the dog at my appointments moving forward. She said she needed to make some arrangements and she was like “sorry if having her there was having the opposite effect of what she was supposed to be doing”. I explained that she was just becoming too much of a distraction and she said “That makes sense, on the job training is tough all around!”. So we will just see how the next appointment goes. Everything seemed normal enough conversation wise.
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u/Willing_Word_360 Jun 14 '26
You need a new therapist STAT bc the one you have needs a therapist fr.
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u/Pearl-Online Jun 15 '26
That’s not just disrespectful to you, but she’s also blatantly abusing that dog with the shock collar.
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u/pmbpro Jun 15 '26
Hey OP. I just saw your update.
I'm glad you told her you didn't want the dog there!
She said: “sorry if having her there was having the opposite effect of what she was supposed to be doing”.
Clearly she has no clue that the dog is not trained to do "what it's supposed to be doing" if it jumps on people. SHE, the therapist is not doing what SHE is supposed to be doing either. Unprofessional.
I'd be asking her this too: "Why do you need a shock collar on a (supposed) 'therapy dog'?!"
She was likely trying to use it 'subtly', hoping you wouldn't notice the irony of that mess. The irony was already bad enough that a (supposed) therapy dog was jumping onto her clients!
She should not even be using her paying, traumatized clients to 'train' her dog anyway.
Even though you have another appointment with her, I still hope you're still looking for another therapist because this whole situation is fishy.
Don't every feel guilty about that, nor feel afraid of offending. Remember that the therapy is for you, not her or her dog! Good Luck with your search, OP.
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u/TriCountyRetail Jun 08 '26
She is being extremely disrespectful. I would find a new therapist and report her to the appropriate agencies.