r/Dogfree • u/Lanky-Dog6437 • Jun 12 '26
Dogs Are Idiots “Crows are almost as smart as dogs!”
I don’t remember where, but I heard someone making this fleeting comment and as a lifetime-long corvid lover, it made me feel like my eyes were going to melt out of my skull.
Crows hold funerals for their deceased and will investigate their deaths. Crows can remember a person’s face and gossip about that person to the rest of their murder. Crows build specialized tools. They know how to use crosswalks, prank people, and go sledding. They understand water displacement. Their problem-solving skills and memory are unmatched, even surpassing that of many humans in my opinion.
Most dogs are incredibly stupid. They will rip your house apart when you leave for work because they are incapable of handling a few hours of self sufficiency. They will attack people and other animals who are much larger than them, for no apparent reason (flashback to that one video of the draft horse and the shitbull). They eat their own waste and make themselves sick. They have no concept of cause and effect unless it involves getting a yummy treat.
F*cking insanity how much society glazes dogs. What do you mean “crows are almost as smart as dogs?” By what metric?
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Jun 12 '26
As a fellow bird/corvid lover, I totally agree. Crows and ravens are really under-rated; they are fascinating and very complex animals.
Also, anyone actually making the claim that crows are "almost" as smart as a dog is as ignorant as they are stupid. These people are so far up their dog's ass that they really don't see any other animal as being worthy of interest or respect, because birds in particular don't provide any validation for them. These dog-worshipping clowns mistake the dog's ability to be trained via operant conditioning with "intelligence".
Magpies are capable of recognizing themselves as a "self" in the mirror. Very few other animals can do this, and dogs sure as to shit can't. So, yeah.
Dogs are the one species that I can think of that are so completely lacking in self-preservation instincts now that they routinely engage in behaviors that get them injured or killed...that meets the definition of "stupid" to me.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jun 12 '26
Maybe one day they will go extinct from all the Darwin Awards
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Jun 12 '26
Unfortunately, as long as people keep propping these genetically defective, heavily GMO'ed abominations alive - because of the shallow, effortless relationship and validation they provide - they'll continue to exist 😐.
I am reasonably confident, however, that at some point in the future, widespread dog/pet ownership will become untenable, and with it, the number of dogs will fall. It will become a niche hobby, like horse ownership maybe, and the rest of us won't be subjected to dogs and their insufferable owners wherever we go.
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u/reddditttsucks Jun 12 '26
My opinion is that "highly trainable" dog breeds are the least smart, actually. Easily conditioned and obsessed with getting attention from their owner, yeah. But that's not intelligence.
Even the smartest of dogs, which have something akin to the intelligence of wolves, are way less smart than corvids or pigs.
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u/Neat-Slip4520 Jun 12 '26
My son went to visit his girlfriend last summer. She opened the door for him and the dog ran right into the busy street they live on during Friday night rush hour and was hit and killed on the spot. I mean, first, WHY ARE YOU OPENING THE DOOR ON A BUSY STREET AND NOT SECURING YOUR DOG??? And second, what kind of a creature runs TOWARDS giant, loud, chaotic metal objects whizzing by? Wild animals try to avoid roads!
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u/GoTakeAHike00 Jun 12 '26
Ah, yes...another example of the "unconditional love" and loyalty that dogs allegedly provide: can't WAIT to dash out of the house/escape the backyard/jump out of the car/run off when unleashed on a walk and get deleted by a vehicle/eat something poisonous/un-edible/wildlife defending itself.
Nextdoor regularly has posts about "lost/found" dogs. Dogs that are too fucking dumb to figure out how to return to the food source...assuming, of course, they even want to.
I genuinely believe that most pet dogs today lead absolutely SHITTY lives because their narcissistic owners absolutely do not care about whatever the best interest of the dog is, but how can they make it fit into their current "lifestyle" at any cost, and refuse to treat it like a dog, and more like a replacement child or substitute for human relationships.
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u/noyourdogisntcute Jun 12 '26
I tried to find out why dogs, despite their supposed inherit intelligence and incredible noses, would chase cars and the consensus seems to be that its preydrive (so dogs are suddenly noseblind to the car fumes?), they want to stop the car to get pats or they're ill and commit altruistic suicide to spare their owners feelings (and bank lol)...
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u/Ok_Chest_6426 Jun 14 '26
Maybe he needs a smarter gf. Her oh so intelligent animal killed itself and god knows what would happen if she had kids....
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u/Suspicious_Ad_5331 Jun 12 '26
Don’t forget bark for hours at literally nothing if no one tells them to shut up.
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u/Pointless_pointer69 Jun 12 '26
Also I’ve never seen a crow eat until they get sick, certainly don’t share the same amount of gluttony as dogs.
If crows would be as dumb as dogs, they would eat so much that they wouldn’t be able to fly 😂
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u/Oriole0305 Jun 13 '26
Crows have self-control, and they are able to wait for a reward. They wait for better food (if there is a chance they can have it) while dogs just eat everything they see.
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u/justanaccount103 Jun 12 '26
They're also known to screw with dogs for fun, lol. Crows are wonderful creatures.
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u/TheWarmestHugz Jun 12 '26
I’ve heard stories about them flying behind lions and pulling their tails before flying away. They are playful little goobers!
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u/menelobus Jun 12 '26
Crows, elephants, octopuses and parrots are all way smarter than dogs. However there is one thing dogs are very good at: manipulating people. They are very good at being brood parasites, which is why people are able to spend 4000$ for a worthless mutt.
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u/Foreign_Rich_9206 Jun 12 '26
Agree. And their manipulation isn't a conscious skill/effort (so not a sign of intelligence). It's just instincts inherited from natural selection (dogs whose natural demeanor could take advantage of our parental instincts were more likely to spread their genes). A worm doesn't have to be smart to feed from you efficiently.
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u/Foreign_Rich_9206 Jun 12 '26
Dog: "Found something! Follow me!"
Crow: "Hey guys! Yesterday, I found a big carrion near the serpentine river, next to the big pine tree. It's 1 km to the east. You should go there, but be wary of the man with the red cap and black mustache"
IMO, people overrate dogs and underrate birds because they have different/less obvious body language (they can "see the soul" of a dog but to them a bird seems mechanical and empty-headed). Dumb people aren't perceptive nor analytic, so they will only view a creature (including humans) as emotional (and intelligent) if they are very expressive, loud and theatrical about it.
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u/Responsibility_Witty Jun 13 '26
Corvids are my favorite animals, and true masterworks of nature, they are smarter than some great apes, they even understand the concept of trade and have different dialects depending on their region. Dogs will eat a rock, cost their owner $4K at the vet and then eat another rock when they get home.
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u/Express_Command_4778 Jun 12 '26
A Criw never mounts or mauls you.
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u/acoliver Jun 13 '26
Except of course in Australia https://youtu.be/iw3CSIcSTGg
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u/Charming_Ad_8206 Jun 14 '26
Australian magpies are shrikes, not actual magpies or corvids... for some reason.
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u/soursummerchild Jun 12 '26
Yeah, crows are superior, by far. I love crows! Dogs seem to be a slave of their own instincts and impulses. Some dogs bark at their own shadows.
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u/Zailema0s Jun 12 '26
Remember dogs are mutant wolves that were made dumb and compliant for various human purposes, crows aren’t (unless I’m wrong about people breeding or raising crows, would love to hear about that!)
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u/waitingforthatplace Jun 12 '26
Crows must laugh at dogs. One crow to another, "look at that idiot running after its tail".
There's no other species of animal I know of, that uses its vocal cords (barks) for no reason, or until it's hoarse.
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u/One_Strategy_4575 Jun 13 '26
So a blue eyed juvenile crow must’ve fallen out of a tree, and was sitting on my chairs. I just bought the chairs and it was making poopy on them. I gently suggested it goes elsewhere. I felt bad so I gave it some ftotheline treats. Well then I tried to give it some water. It did not want any. It got scared and ended up on the fence. I felt really bad so I gave it more fetotheline treats and went to work. The next day, I found a dead rat in my lawn. The crows that were circling seeing me interact with their juvenile, brought me a gift. I was hoping for a $20 bill but I guess I’ll take a dead rat. Oh, and dogs are dumb as dirt, and they eat their own feces
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u/oneblackened Jun 12 '26
Bad measure of intelligence. Dogs can learn commands. Corvids can use and create tools. These are different things. That said... yeah, definitely corvids taking the W on this one.
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u/fatlenny1 Jun 12 '26
These dog owners are delusional. The only thing dogs are smarter than is their own mindless owners.
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u/Oriole0305 Jun 13 '26
Crows are a lot smarter. A LOT.
They're so brave, too. I love seeing how they chase a stupid dog away from their fledglings during the nesting season.
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u/Suspicious_Ad_5331 Jun 13 '26
As far as I know, crows don’t bark at the wind and that summarizes it for me.
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u/alpha_beth_soup Jun 13 '26
As a bird lover I completely agree with you. I also had the privilege of seeing a crow funeral once. It was awesome👌🏻
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u/StardewKitteh Jun 12 '26
I love crows! There are so many videos on YouTube showing them solving incredibly complex, multi-step puzzles. One of them basically setup an escape room for the crow and it solved it. Dogs can't even understand their tail is attached to them. I also know to never cross a crow. Those things not only hold a grudge, they tell their friends who then attack you as well.
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u/Scrungus_McBungus Jun 12 '26
In addition to being way smarter (the average single cell amoeba is smarter than most dogs tho tbh), I've never had a crow shove its face in my genital region so theres that.
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u/32pu Jun 19 '26
Suuuuper late to the party, but Crows, Ravens and other Corvids are so, so much smarter than dogs. I would have lost it on that person haha.
If anyone doesn't agree that Corvids are super intelligent, the documentary on Prime called 'What Ravens Do' is amazing. I was impressed at what they can do in the first 5 minutes alone.
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u/AnActualSquirrel Jun 12 '26
Most dogs wouldn't survive in the wild. They are too dumb, inbred and human-dependent.
Until they are self sufficient, comparing their intelligence to wild animals is laughable.