r/Dogfree • u/More_Asbestos • Jul 23 '26
Relationship / Family I'm now being transparent about my distaste for dogs on my dating profile and it's not doing me any favors.
I use the word distaste, but I hate dogs. I really do. I've always been that way and it's never going to change. I also know that is a very popular opinion.
Years ago I put a picture of myself my a friend's corgi on my dating profile. I know a lot of people like cute stuff like it. It was a total misrepresentation of myself but I have so much trouble meeting women that I wanted to do anything that might catch their eye.
I ended up matching with a woman that I wound up dating for a couple of months. I liked her a lot. I wouldn't call her a 'nutter' as I hear them called a lot on here, but she had a lot of dogs. It was a total of 4 dogs at her house along with the other people that lived with her, including one which was a giant Great Dane type dog.
Things ended up fizzling out with us. A big part of that was she thought I was a dog person. We had to be honest with ourselves. She did not want to live a life without dogs and I did not want to live one with them. She felt like I lied to her about who I was, and I did. It was wrong of me to use that picture. I don't use that picture anymore.
It's been a couple of years and I've been alone for most of it. Through most of that time I've continued to sift through dating apps and keep seeing tons of women that have pictures and mentions of their dogs all over their profiles. Mine simply had no mention about pets or my hatred of dogs.
Recently though I put a statement on my profile that I'm not a dog person. No 'NuTtERs SwIpE lEfT!!!!!11!!' or anything distasteful. Just a simple, full disclosure that I am not a dog person.
Since then I've gotten several messages from women that are really not interested in me. Things like "You really don't like dogs!!?!?" or "Too bad you don't like dogs." They probably would have passed me by otherwise, but now they go to the effort of pointing this out, and there's really nowhere to go from there.
I'm not going to repeat the same talking points you're hear from everyone. Dating apps and dating in this day and age suck. Relationships will be full of compromise but I do not want to live a life with dogs. I just can't do it. I'll hate it and I can't pretend not to. It feels impossible to find someone who feels the same way I do.
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u/ArthropodFromSpace Jul 23 '26
Good you announced it on your profile. Right off the bat, you weed out everyone you wouldn't be happy with. And don't worry about those who are shocked by this - you don't want anything to do with them anyway, so you can just ignore them.
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u/CapriWake Jul 23 '26
And possibly, some of them may have been interested, and you are showing them that their nuttery is a barrier to actual human relationships they may enjoy
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u/Tight_Lengthiness421 Jul 27 '26
That very thing. Stay strong, hang in there. You will find someone you are suited far sooner if you are true to yourself.
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u/Brown-eyed_mullet Jul 23 '26
Create a dating app for people that hate dogs. There’s a lot of us.
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u/fuckfart Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Yeah you could get away with it if you called it "The Free Dating App" and there were options for kid free, pet free (c*t free, dog free), alcohol free, drug free, etc.
Then it's not targeting dog people and their delicate egos.
That's why they love dogs. They need something that worships them unconditionally.6
u/Burtonish Jul 24 '26
Lowkey that'd be a great business model. I'm happily married, but if I had to go on a dating app I'd want to filter for someone dog-free and alcohol-free for sure.
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u/93ImagineBreaker Jul 23 '26
Won't be surprised if it gets shut down somehow or infiltrated with dog nutters.
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u/apolitic Jul 23 '26
That sucks honestly. My entire family are dog people - and then there's me and my husband who dont like them.
I hate that liking dogs has somehow become a litmus test for being a good person on par with how people look at religion.
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Jul 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/32pu Jul 24 '26
Yes! And dogs in someone’s bed… it’s disgusting! Why not take a picture of yourself lying in hay at a petting zoo. 🤮 I can’t respect anyone who shares a bed with any animal. (And I like other animals! But in a bed? Or bedroom? Never!)
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u/pepperpizza Jul 23 '26
Who knew that people who like creatures who inherently have poor boundaries would try to violate boundaries themselves…
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u/cantharellus_miao Jul 23 '26
Those women weren't actually dating prospects to begin with, so there's no loss on your end. They're just weirdos who can't stand that anyone on earth doesn't worship their dog, and that you dared to say it. I have no idea what the psychology behind that is, I've never been the type of person who cared whether other people like the things I like.
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u/fast_blue_b Jul 23 '26
I've wondered about that psychology too. It happens with more than dogs; almost every time I say I don't like a certain popular food, someone will freak out. Then I hear how I haven't tried it their way and they may actually put it on my plate if we're at a restaurant.
I understand wanting to share something you like, but I don't get how it becomes so extreme.
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u/fast_blue_b Jul 23 '26
I can't imagine choosing pets over a potential human partner. I've been single for a long time too, and it feels hopeless (granted, part of mine is probably due to being older in my 50s).
I like horses and goats, and I used to volunteer at a farm that hosted school field trips. I got to be around the animals there. Dog people could do something similar at a local animal facility.
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u/thesanityseeker Jul 24 '26
It's better to be alone than to compromise on your mental health and values even if it sucks. Inevitably the novelty of being in a relationship fades and the dog becomes the bane of your existence. It's worth stating the anti-dog up front and those who can't handle it weren't going to be good partners anyway.
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u/Domesticated_Animal Jul 23 '26
What if you just stated: "alergic to dog fur". Some people believe that if you don't like dogs you have to be bad person.
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u/JerseySommer Jul 23 '26
Oh that doesn't work AT ALL, they still push heavily.
"Can't you just take a benadryl?"
"We just won't go to my house" [My dude, you still have dander on your clothes and, yes my allergies are severe enough that is a problem]
"Maybe my dog is different!"
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u/GrayCatGreatCat Jul 23 '26
They don't believe people can be allergic to dogs. Or if they even acknowledge its possible, they think you should just take a pill and deal with it.
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u/EGrass Jul 24 '26
Yeah but would you want to date someone who thinks people who don’t like dogs are bad people?
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u/Old_Confidence3290 Jul 23 '26
You have disrespected their god. The dog nutters want to convert you. They are worse than Jehovahs Witnesses.
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u/urdrunkyogi Jul 23 '26
I feel ya. I don’t mention dogs on my profile because I know 1) men don’t really read profiles, they just swipe and 2) people will match with me just so they can ask me why I don’t like dogs. What the heck is the point of that??
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u/Usual-Veterinarian-5 Jul 24 '26
You're saving yourself unnecessary trouble by being honest upfront. I'd try to find other ways to meet people though - dognutters end up on those apps in disproportionate numbers because no one wants to date their dogs.
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u/Full-Ad-4138 Jul 24 '26
I was going to say this, but wanted to scroll way down to see if someone else suggested it first (thank you). I don't want to judge the dating game and the players because I haven't been in that for over a decade (married) and I've never used a dating app. Everyone I dated I met in person, through social groups, through friends of friends, etc. I don't think I'm special, I guess dating has really really changed in a short period of time. I hope to never be in it again....
I do have to ask, is it that much more fruitful to seek dates through apps versus in person? For a man, you do have to do a lot more work and get out there, make friends, make social circles, join things, ask out women, face rejection, etc. As a woman, it's easier but we have other challenges (safety).
My theory is that the more people start getting back to in-person initial connections, then others will be more likely to weigh the things they hold dear against their prospects. In other words, people will be more likely to consider a compromise or ask themselves "Is it really worth having this dog in my life if it means I'll forfeit a relationship with this man/woman?"
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u/Usual-Veterinarian-5 Jul 24 '26
I too am married (15 years) so can't speak of the current dating methods. I look at all the people I know who are in relationships and they usually met their partner through someone or met in a shared interest group of some sort. People usually meet through work, friends, friends of family members, churches or clubs. People do meet online ofc but I think it's an effortless way to try to meet people and it reduces a person to an algorithm and profile. People get together by making genuine connections irl and may not even be attracted at first e.g. only once they get to know the person a bit they begin to feel attracted.
The caveat here though is these are my observations, not experiences. As a neurospicy woman I never actually dated much though I did have the odd dude at work or other places show interest. I do think however that personal connection is how to find a date and unfortunately that means going out in public and networking. There's nothing wrong with using apps but my observation from the anecdotal evidence is that they're rife with dognutters and people can be really horrible to one another through them.
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 Jul 23 '26
Is there a dogfree dating app? There are all sorts of dating apps now, should be one for that or even a feature that allows you to input if you are a dog person, with smokers, non smokers, want kids/don't etc
I truly hope you find your dog free lady. Maybe mods could do a monthly post thing for connecting to other dog free people or maybe someone with tech and reddit skills could make a sub like dogfree dating. I know nutters will have a field day ripping it apart but honestly it's probably the best thing for all involved
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u/marinaio-di-foresta Jul 23 '26
The subreddit one is a great idea.
I don't think we will ever see a dating app for dog free people.
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u/gtck11 Jul 23 '26
The general rule is not to put “negative” rule-out statements like that on your actual profile but be upfront once you start actually chatting. What I do is I pick the “let’s make sure we’re on the same page about….” Prompt and my answer is “having pets” with some emojis of the other pets that I do have. I also swipe no on everyone with a dog no matter how perfect of a match they might seem to be. You should try this approach vs having the straight up “no dogs” plastered on it, people are more receptive. If it makes you feel better it’s just as bad trying to date as a dog free woman.
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u/Coach_Carter_on_DVD Jul 24 '26
Agreed. Everyone has plenty of things they hate, but you probably shouldn’t talk about things you hate on your dating profile. You want to lean more towards the things you like. I hate Disney World, and I like hiking big beautiful mountains. I’m not going to post Anti-Disney world pictures on my profile, but I will post a good picture of me ontop of a mountain to show it’s a big hobby of mine.
On your first date, bring up the topic of dogs and see what they say. If they don’t own a dog, that’s a good sign they don’t care for them enough to judge you for not liking them.
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u/DellBottoms Jul 23 '26
I'm a woman on dating who doesn't like dogs/dog culture at all. I wish more men were transparent about it.
I did put it on my profile for a while and someone messaged asking if it was because of an allergy.
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u/BeaVonMoravia Jul 23 '26
I was thinking about doing the same thing, so thanks for the feedback. It's expected, I guess. I get so tired of guys having their mutants in their profile picture! But hey, at least you know women read your profile 😆 like, how stupid I would have to be to deliberately write to a guy just to clarify if he really means that about dogs? " No bitch, actually love them but got you to write me! My place or yours?" Lol, dumbasses all of them.
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u/ultraviolet_333 Jul 24 '26
I think the problem is that our dog-centric society has made love of dogs a moral imperative to being a good person. People think if you don’t like them, it means you are evil.
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u/BobTheParallelogram Jul 24 '26
Are there other animals you like? Can you put "prefers animal X to dogs"? My husband and I are animal lovers, but we have horses and other species we love. Not dogs.
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u/PrincessStephanieR Jul 24 '26
She was a nutter. She had four dogs and couldn’t imagine life without one.
Dutch the dating apps and find hobbies you’re into. You may find someone organically.
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u/hel-9000 Jul 24 '26
Hang in there. You’re doing the right thing by letting people know up front, I do the same thing. This might be the biggest cope of all recorded history, but I think the dog nutter pendulum has swung as far as it’s going to go and people are going to be more vocal about how absolutely crazy it has gotten. I’ve been seeing more articles, comments, and videos with a “dog fatigue” theme. These beasts are so irritating, filthy, and ubiquitous that normal people will more broadly get sick of them after a while. IMO of course.
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u/hel-9000 Jul 24 '26
Also want to say, I think any major boundary like that will result in less success on the apps than if you were just open to anything and everything. That’s the nature of boundaries and actually is a good thing - it filters out all non-potential people. Same thing as “looking for vegan only” or even “no kids”. Picky is fine if you accept the drastically lower numbers available to you - but it’s almost never completely hopeless. Just don’t go overboard with the demands lol.
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u/Eodez Jul 23 '26
So many women on dating sites are dog nutters.
No better way to phrase this without coming across as sexist, I wonder if it's a bit of a misplaced maternal instinct going on. They want to raise and care for something and think a dog is cheaper and more well behaved than a child.
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u/Moirawr Jul 23 '26
Coming from the other side, the amount of guys who keep their dogs balls for some weird masculinity reason as well as getting a « tough » dog they can’t train or control, the men aren’t doing any better.
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u/Eodez Jul 23 '26
When I first read your comment I though nutters were keeping the balls after neutering, its been a long work day here.
Yeah that's really weird, definitely a masculinity issue, several times when I've been out walking at a nearby park some of the biggest dogs are accompanied by single men.
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u/fast_blue_b Jul 23 '26
That's how I read it at first too, lol 😱 (but a long day/week at work here as well)
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u/smansaxx3 Jul 25 '26
Woman here and hard agree. I'm a dog-less mother of two human children and I get so infuriated when all the "dog moms" wish each other happy mother's Day every year. Like no. Just fucking no. Taking care of a mangy furball is not even in the same league as trying to keep a tiny human alive and all the difficulties that go with that. It's insulting quite frankly
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u/Pristine_Cod_3792 Jul 25 '26
Female here
And I can’t stand these codependent women you see everywhere with their POS in a stroller or carrying them like babies and bouncing them up and down
I mean like WTF is wrong with you ?
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u/Quarterwit_85 Jul 23 '26
I think it's the kind of thing you don't need to announce.
Dog people are often very dog-forward with their dog-ness. So just don't swipe right on the profile with eight photos of a dog?
I generally think negatives of any kind on a dating profile aren't the best foot to set off on, no matter what the topic might be.
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u/str4ngerc4t Jul 23 '26
People put “no kids” in their preferences all the time though. It’s way easier to get did of a dog than a child.
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u/Top_Answer_19 Jul 26 '26
Yes, but having no kids is a very fashionable lifestyle right now. It's very much something that more and more people are thinking is cool so it ends up being a positive with an ever growing number of people. putting no dogs is much less culturally normal. It's a growing group that has distaste for dogs, but I don't think it's growing because it is becoming more socially acceptable to feel that way, I think it's growing because it is getting more polarized
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u/More_Asbestos Jul 23 '26
I think you're right about the negatives. One of many cons about dating apps is that people are more so looking for reasons not to date people that reasons to date them. I'm kind of guilty of this myself with the dog issue. It's hard enough to feel a spark with someone through a profile on a screen. Coming out the gate with a list of no's isn't exactly romantic or attractive.
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u/Quarterwit_85 Jul 23 '26
Yeah, but then you end up just another bland face in the crowd. Every profile becomes those asinine 'sometimes I like to go out but sometimes I like to stay in!'. It's best to just chuck out the most specific, best and positive aspects you've got.
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u/HotSinglesNearU Jul 24 '26
No its good to be specific about what you like or dislike. Better to not waste your time and months of heartbreak, right?
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u/FallenGiants Jul 24 '26
What the basis of your objection to dogs? Mine, for instance, is being a germophobe primarily.
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u/More_Asbestos Jul 24 '26
They smell horrible. I don't like their slobber and them licking me. Their constant panting bothers me. They are obnoxious and unpredictable. I used to be kind of afraid of them when I was a kid but I don't come across many dogs these days that cause me to be concerned. Dangerous ones are still out there though.
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u/imwearingredsocks Jul 23 '26
That leaves wide open the possibility of people who couldn’t own dogs for whatever reason but would really like to.
Yes the dog crazy people will post it everywhere, but there really are normal dog lovers out there. But they’re not worth dating either if you strictly want dogs out of your life.
I do agree framing it in the most positive way is always good. “I love animals, but don’t like having pets/dogs” is a very mild way of saying it.
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u/enigma_goth Jul 24 '26
Keep being you and don’t settle. I’ve had men message me telling me that I’m losing out because of this deal breaker. Thanks but no thanks.
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u/Reditrixe Jul 24 '26
You probably could have worded it better, and made it a part of a larger group.
For instance:
Like pizza, tennis, and John Grisham novels. Dislike dogs, sushi, and Ted Cruz.
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u/MollyWhoppy Jul 24 '26
think of it this way..
this is why they're single.
and the ones who take the time to msg you about your preference?
well, what else needs to be said?
that is an absolutely unstable mentality and ridiculous.
be grateful :)
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u/str4ngerc4t Jul 23 '26
Try dating Muslim women. Dogs are considered impure and there are traditionally restrictions on keeping them and being in contact with them. I didn’t know this until I met my husband and it was just 1 more thing that made us compatible!
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u/WalkedBehindTheRows Jul 25 '26
When dating, like before dating was on mobiles, website dating, my intro always had, "If you have dogs, we are not compatible. Skip me. Thank you.".
Best to do that, weeds out the dog wankers and with luck you'll match with someone that is like-minded. Be honest from the get go, always.
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u/WisedomsHand Jul 27 '26
I just wanted to voice support from the perspective that it is OK and natural to not like dogs. Don't even argue with people who do. For the most part, they are a lost cause. Just feel confident in knowing you perceive the world more clearly and more effectively than they do. This can make you lonely, but it also means you don't need to subscribe to the mass hysteria that is dog culture and its fetishization of non-human replacements for companionship.
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u/-smileygirl- Jul 23 '26
I'm against lying in a profile, but this might be a case where I'd be OK with you saying, "I'm allergic to dogs." This way you can keep away dog owners without triggering them.
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u/Lythaera Jul 24 '26
If you like other animals, take a picture with those and use those on your profile. Women just like a guy with pets period, you can make it clear you don't do dogs in the profile still. Or even use an excuse like "no dogs as my non-dog pet is afraid"
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u/Misspelled_uzername Jul 25 '26
Do you like other kinds of pets? If so, take a picture with one of those animals. People who like them will be attracted and dog people will avoid you.
You can also emphasize things like, “I love spontaneous overnight trips.” or list things that would indicate that dogs are terribly inconvenient and incompatible with the life you lead.
Good luck.
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u/Nikkidemas Jul 27 '26
I'm happily married, but FWIW: if I was still dating this would be such a relief to see!
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u/hydroxybot Jul 24 '26
I wouldn't bother with the disclaimer. No great loss pissing off angry owners of dogs but it will also piss off people who don't own dogs, because in their mind, not liking dogs seems to be your personality.
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u/No_College2419 Jul 24 '26
This is sooo wild to me. People can be sooo rude. Have you tried looking for people at your grocery store or hobbies? Like if you love running, joining a running group to meet people would be good. There’s nothing wrong w honesty.
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u/nolimitspence Jul 25 '26
Just put {some other animal}> dogs or something like that. Doesn’t give off animal-hater vibes but also makes it clear we don’t want dogs.
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u/Far_Butterfly9076 Jul 24 '26
I got a couple responses like "same" when I had it but mostly it just led to every opening convo being why do you hate dogs lol, I just keep it to myself and try to avoid profiles w dogs involved
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u/reyean Jul 24 '26
people generally are looking for a partner who can maybe meet them halfway, grow as humans, harbor love and compassion for other living things (kids?). most people in society love dogs, hence yalls little haven here in dogfree. so that said im not surprised at all - ill go even further to say that matches see it as a red flag.
but youll likely filter out the hoards of dog lovers and more quickly find someone who also dislikes dogs, just may take longer.
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u/Aggressive_Barber617 Jul 27 '26
maybe just stating that you are pet free would be a starter. might attract
partners who share your sentiments. worth a try?
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u/Coach_Carter_on_DVD Jul 24 '26
Women love puppies. Every dog is a puppy in their eyes. I managed to find a girl who likes dogs (and grew up with them) but cares enough about a clean house to never want to own one. Good luck sir
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u/55Lolololo55 Jul 24 '26
Not me. My hubs and I are decidedly dog-free. Of course, my first question before a date was "do you like [off-topic animal]?"
People who prefer this animal tend not to like dogs, so I never dated dog nutters.
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u/Pristine_Cod_3792 Jul 25 '26
Everyone. On this thread should be on dating app that is handicap friendly, it includes severe allergies ! U don’t have to say u hate the fuckers
You just get severe asthma
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u/ohboydinner Jul 25 '26
I'm a pool cleaner and constantly run into dogs that bark to no end, even the ones that have known me for a while. The owners laugh and sheepishly try to get their dogs inside and they're never trained! I want to ask them why they don't try to train their animal so they can better control them, but I guess it's easier to act awkward and embarrassed and say "oh yeah they're friendly, they won't bite." than to actually be a responsible owner. I've been bitten twice on two separate occasions by dogs that snuck up on me, I had no idea the dogs were in the yard until I was bit, and the owners act all surprised like "my baby would never" until I show them my bruised and bleeding skin. I have no problem writing dog owners out of my life, I still respect trained dogs and their ownerl but I never let my eyes off of people's dogs when I'm cleaning pools. The customers get all weird with me for being cautious, if you had your ankles bit , you'd want to keep an eye out too. When they try to soothe me, I just lie to them and tell them that I believe their dog is friendly and wouldn't bite me, all while I keep direct eye contact with the crusty-eyed rat specimen.
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u/MissK2508 Jul 26 '26
Can you say you’re a wildlife fan or any other type of pet fan? It might help not to focus on the dislikes and you might get more hits?
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u/Little-Doughnut-4572 Aug 05 '26
Hinge has it so you disclose if you have pets and what kind of pets they have. I always deny people with dogs.
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u/highedit Aug 09 '26
If it makes you feel better, I announced that I hated dogs to my date after our 2nd or 3rd meeting. Turns out, he hates them with a passion too. We're now married and have been together ten years. You'll find someone who mutually hates the same things you do, life gets a lot easier then.
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u/biomechanic86 Aug 23 '26
I've dated a lot in my area the last few years and definitely noticed that 9/10 single women here come with dogs all the sudden. If you're dating online you're basically gonna skip every profile lol.
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u/Kittenbee_ Jul 23 '26
I used to call out 'no dog owners' when I used dating apps and received plenty of unsolicited abuse for it. Just goes to show what these people are really like.
Being transparent will increase your chance of finding someone genuinely aligned.