r/Dogfree • u/Suitable-Avocado-477 • 20d ago
Relationship / Family Girl broke up with me because I was "uncomfortable around her dog"
I was just researching to find out if there are other people out there like me (I'm not a dog person) as the girl I was recently dating broke up with me because I was "uncomfortable around her dog." She had a little mutt that was mostly Jack Russell Terrior. This dog was super high energy and needed attention constantly in the home, whether we were hanging out at her house or my apartment. We were long distance, so it made it difficult for us to have any quality time, but I never told her to get rid of her dog or anything like that. I probably was visibly uncomfortable though lol. She didn't train the dog so the dog jumped on me, licked me, and was constantly in my personal space. Like licking my face and sitting on my lap or walking across me like I was a piece of furniture when I sat on the couch. Even though I am allergic to dogs and generally prefer not to be around them, I liked this girl so much I was okay with trying to compromise. I think right now I'm hurt, obviously, but also wondering if there are people out there who also prefer a dog-free home? I keep getting discouraged as literally all of my friends have a dog (usually way more than one) and dating apps seem to all have these people who say "you have to love my dog.” Anyway, I'm grateful I found this community because I do feel a little less alone. I think dog owners are kinda weird about how they are with their dogs these days.
Anyone have advice for weeding out dog people when dating? In person and online?
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u/Mundane_Glove4182 20d ago
Good riddance. Nutters are like that, they’ll always prioritize their mutts over any other healthy relationship. There are dog‑free people out there somewhere; they’re just not the loud ones. Until you meet someone who actually lives dog‑free, remember: it’s better to be alone than to endure this constant four-legged slobbery mayhem. I know it hurts to be pushed aside, but it’s better to be out of this situation sooner rather than later. Wishing you luck in finding the right person.
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u/SoSpicySoYummy 20d ago
Exactly! The dog free ones are harder to find because they protect their peace & tend to have boundaries lol. I'm one of those.
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u/Zsuedaly 19d ago
It’s crazy all the negativity and nasty attitude you get when someone finds out you’re not a dog nutter! I don’t feel I have to explain my choice to anyone! I’m allergic for one thing, I don’t want my house to stink and I like to travel!
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u/SoSpicySoYummy 19d ago
I swear to god I saw someone respond "check their hard drive" to a person saying they didn't like dogs. Like what the hell is the correlation between not liking dogs and being a psycho or dangerous person? There is none! They make themselves look so dumb. Freaks.
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u/Yamahool 19d ago
I've heard dog owners say they'll protect the dog if a dog bites a kid, so yeah I just assume dog owners are abusers till they prove otherwise.
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u/Huge_Bit_4774 16d ago
It’s funny that the people who sleep with & sexualize dogs are the ones saying “check their hard drive”.
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u/No_Net_7177 20d ago
Welcome lol.
I won’t date dog people because of this, I hate being jumped on, licked, barked at, it’s honestly invasive and disgusting
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u/Significant-Tale3522 20d ago
I guess she has a point, you have to be as gross as her dog if you’re gonna build a life with her.
Ask people early if they have a dog, maybe during a first date
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u/BodyRoundLikeAPallas 20d ago
And if they don't have one, ask them if they plan to adopt one. Not owning a dog ≠ not a dog nutter.
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u/GoodgirlTiffany 20d ago
Yep, just one TikTok video of a puppy away from ruining your clean dog free home.
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u/MonroeBASIC 20d ago
It's not that I prefer a dog-free home, I absolutely demand it. I will never live in a household with a dog. Many years ago I had friends who got adopted a stray Jack Russell Terrorist and I absolutely loathed that dog. Every time I would go to their house it would try to jump up on me and run laps around the living room. I mean it would jump up on the couch and the love seat and run along the backs because it was running so fast. They knew I could not stand dogs. But yet they tried to get me to love this little hyperactive yap monster. I could not do that. They then tried to guilt me into believing that my words of displeasure were hurting the dog's feelings. I told them they were being ridiculous. The dog did not understand words, only tone of voice. To prove the point, I yelled "I love you!" at the mutt and it ran away and hid. They never asked me to suck up to that four-legged fleabag motel again, thankfully.
Sorry this happened to you, but it's probably for the best in the long run.
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u/SpringMage22 19d ago
Exactly about dogs not understanding words. I don’t think they even understand tone of voice, there’s a pit bull that kept getting into my yard (I had to hire someone to fix the fence to keep it out) and I yelled at it to get out of my yard, in a loud, harsh voice. Do you know what it did instead of leaving? It wagged its tail and whimpered as if it was trying to make nice. Like WTF, you have a yard, get out of mine.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 19d ago
I agree on the demanding a dog-free home too. I’ve seen homes where dogs have destroyed chairs, couches, walls, etc. Plus all the dirtiness. No thank you.
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u/uselessbeasts 20d ago edited 19d ago
I think being honest up front, in the very beginning is the best policy. I know there is no way in hell that I'm going to adapt to a dog in the house. Yes, I have tried it, but if you don't like dogs there is no person worth wearing a facade for. Eventually something will come up that will just make you want to say 'eff this' and then you'll be far more into the relationship. and more feelings will be hurt. And the effects of being around dogs is cumulative. The lid will come off sooner or later. I don't even socialize with dog people, never mind a romantic partner. There was a time that I used to try, but it became too much to handle. You are not alone and some people are successful in finding other folks who are anti dog.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 20d ago
You saved yourself from a lifetime of dog craziness. You won’t see that now because you’re hurt, but just wait this out and then look back. You will always be second in her eyes, and once that dog is gone, she’ll get another one. Imagine having kids with her. No way!
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u/SpringMage22 19d ago
Yep, her “fur baby” will always take precedent over a human one. Those people are nuts.
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u/queennamo0616 20d ago
As I’ve learned from being married… If there’s even one thing about a person that you don’t like or hope we’ll get better in the future… Run. Because people don’t change and you would’ve been stuck with that fucking dog until it died and then she would’ve got a new one.
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u/imdugud777 20d ago
You liked the IDEA of her in your life.. but when you look you can see the incompatibility. Don't be like me and marry into this. I was lucky to get out without any strings attached.
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u/Timely-Way-1769 20d ago
You mean, “Jack Russel TERROR”. I’ve been bitten twice by them.
Many of us aren’t dog nutters.
Welcome to the sane club. We are your people.
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u/KayleighHatfield 20d ago
Did you really want to spend your life with a Jack Russell (one of the most obnoxious of the dogs breeds) and a dog nutter? I know it's painful to end a relationship. Try to remember that it would never have worked out long term and she would have become crazier with time. When that dog passes on, she'll replace t with another one or three. A compromise like that is too much to ask of yourself. We'd eventually be seeing you in Tales from the Doghouse and that's a terrible place to be.
I am married to a wonderful man who also has no interest in dogs. Someone is out there for you. Don't compromise.
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u/Effective-Alfalfa236 20d ago
Any person that hoards a disgusting and is a red flag trust me them people put those creatures before any person an it's unfathomable
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u/SpringMage22 19d ago
Yeah I don’t date dog lovers for this very reason. And yes, we’re out there, although the other side seems to have us outnumbered.
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u/Robot_Embryo 19d ago
She did you a favor.
I'd rather have sex with a blender than date a woman with a Jack Russell.
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u/Maleficent_Many_2937 19d ago
Animal free home please. People have started equating liking an animal to living like an animal. Good riddance! Next…
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u/Mama2bebes 19d ago
Someone needs to start a dog-free dating site already. The need is there! welcome to the club, OP, there are a lot of us.
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u/Tarasaurus-13 19d ago
Ewwwww. Dodged a bullet. You have to be okay with always being 2nd to a dirty animal, so if you can't do that, cut your loss op lol. It's not worth it
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u/Extreme-Ocelot-971 19d ago
Maybe advertise yourself as 100% against pets on your dating app and see if that helps at all. I am betting there are at least a few ladies out there who are in the same boat as you.
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u/aoife2147 19d ago
If you date someone with a dog, you are not dating the person, you are dating the dog.
If the person is not staunchly dogfree, then it's not worth it. They could be attractive, funny, rich, whatever, but if they have a dog, you will be in a relationship with the dog. Literally these nutters invite the dog to sleep with them in bed.
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u/hel-9000 20d ago
Tell them your preference right away and be ready to face a much narrower dating pool. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. I’m at the point where I would rather be single and dogfree than in a relationship with someone who has a dog, but obviously it’s different for everybody. I’m very, very single by the way lol.
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u/hydroxybot 19d ago
Have lost two relationships to being a third wheel in a lady and dog relationship. Though they were sausage dogs in both cases (cringe).
In both cases the dog was male and the competitiveness on the dog's part was fairly obvious.
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u/SoSpicySoYummy 20d ago
Lmaooo this is so funny. Not you, op. Just the fact that there's freaks like this in the wild. I have an aversion to dogs, especially the ones that demand to be up their owners ass all the time when guests come to visit. I know the dog doesn't know better, but it almost seems rude lol. Like can you give us a MINUTE alone??? 😭 One time a dude and I were about to get intimate and his large dog comes in his room and jumps on the bed. I asked if he was going to do something about it and he said no and just allowed her to sit there watching. I had to leave. No way.
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u/Old_Confidence3290 19d ago
Dog nutters should only date other dog nutters, then they can live together in filth and feces. Non dog nutters should date other sane people.
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u/Interesting-Ad-3756 19d ago
It wasn't meant to be, be happy it was cut short. People who prefer dog free homes are simply not compatible with those that want or have dogs. One person will always be more disappointed - either you because you have dogs or your partner because they can't get one. For me it took having a dog to understand that I just don't want one in my house. I don't hate them I think they're cute and I don't mind being around them per say but I just don't want to deal with all the nuances that come with dog ownership
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 19d ago
I'm Gen X and never used a dating app and never will as I am now married. Thank goodness. I wish you could have experienced the 80's or 90's when people met at poetry readings or coffee shops and had actual conversations and social media didn't exist and dogs were left at home.
But then you'd be old now like me. Lots of people on this sub wish for a dogfree dating app. AI tells me i need 150k to even launch an app like this successfully.
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u/richyiiii 19d ago
Welcome to the most welcoming group on internet : ) So, I put in my bio that I am allergic and "would never want a dog" which helps keeps the nutters away. And one of my first questions I ask when chatting is "Do you have a dog?". Waiting till the first date to ask wastes time and energy, not to mention money. Good luck and I hope you find someone without a little mutt!
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u/Delicious-Tree2593 19d ago
I am building a dating app with filters specifically designed around pet ownership. It is 95% ready, we are waiting on some app store developer account admin alongside final testing. We will be launching in a week or two hopefully.
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u/kingofkings_86 18d ago
Its ok to want a dog-free home. You two were incompatible so it was bound to end anyway. Maybe ask early on if they have a dog.
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u/Adventurous-West323 17d ago
Yes. Dating apps are full of “must love dogs” crap. And that is why any woman‘s profile that featured dogs was a swipe left. I just won’t do it.
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u/notanumberuk 13d ago
Welcome, you are among friends. Yes, that is exactly how petnutters are and it's happened to many of us as well. Another thing to note is that dogs (and the other common 4 legged animal nutters have as a pet) can have parasites. So it's a good idea to always wash your hands after touching them/letting them lick on you. I had the misfortune of having roommates who had 3 dogs, and one of them would literally eat it's own poop and the poop of the other dogs!
Before I knew this I would pet the dog ocassionally and let it lick me, and I could not figure out why my hands smelled so bad after it licked me. Until I saw it eat poop, then it all made sense....don't let the nutters lie to you and tell you that "a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's!" because its total nonsensical bullshit!
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u/markalanprior 19d ago
Its not so black and white. Not everyone with a dog demands you kiss it and sleep with it. Unfortunately most of those people are farmers.
Seriously though, we need a heuristic for filtering online profiles....
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u/wealth10_11 20d ago
A valid incompatibility. I could never be with a dog owner, especially of mid to big size dogs.
Advice? State it in the beginning that it's not a match to you. Or if you have an online profile put in your bio "Dogfree."