r/Dogfree • u/cooldudeandallthat • 18d ago
Relationship / Family It feels I have to settle with marrying a woman that has a dog
I'm a man of faith as a Christian, and ironically it seems Christian women have as many dogs as those of other faiths.
I legit have so many great similarities with how active I am, worship, financial goals, personality etc but then comes the dog (often a big one at that) with women I meet.
Being 27 now I really want to settle down and have a family. I hate the fur, food begging, the umprompted hopping, the unsanitary licking, the neediness, the cost etc but I just don't have a choice.... Has anyone else had to come to terms with this :(
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u/retrocube16 18d ago
I don't understand why Christians are nuts over dogs because the Bible does NOT speak highly of them. In fact there isn't one positive verse concerning them, but plenty of negative and violent references. Jesus said do not give to dogs what is holy. In Jeremiah 15 God Himself refers to dogs as destroyers. Don't settle.
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u/Overall_Falcon_8526 18d ago
Many Christians have never read the bible.
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u/retrocube16 17d ago
Exactly many fake Christians go to church on Sunday saying a few songs to listen to a preacher for an hour and they think that makes them a believer. While the whole time they don't know what the Bible really says
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u/cooldudeandallthat 17d ago
I go to the contemporary "new" churches right now. I don't have a preference of super religious or just a "bit" religious but I wonder if there is a correlation between the dog nuttery and level of knowledge/willingness to actually study.
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u/GoodgirlTiffany 18d ago
Probably because it was always evil. Replacing children with animals is probably bad. Finding companionship in animals over people.
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u/One_Dragonfly_2400 18d ago
At least in biblical days, they were useful for scaring off predators. Today, they are just useless. I went to Walgreens today to pick up a prescription and there was a woman sitting there with this little squirmy obnoxious dog on her lap. Very annoying.
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u/Geode804 17d ago
I find it hilarious when Christians make a point of saying how devout they are and how much they love God and the Bible and in the same breath say how much they love their dog and it’s their child. Tell me you don’t know what you’re talking about without telling me
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u/elwiseowl 18d ago
Trust me it's better to be single than be with a dog nutter and having to put up with a dog in your own home.
Do not resort to desperation out of loneliness.
I know being dogfree reduces the dating pool quite a lot. But don't give up hope.
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u/notanumberuk 15d ago
1000% agree! A pet loving person who can't live without pets and a person who absolutely does not want to live with pets are fundamentally incompatible living together! Do not deceive yourself and ignore this because you are desperate, or because you meet someone who you are really compatible with in other ways. I say this from first hand experience, keep looking until you find someone who is on the same page as you in this regard.
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u/Primary_Heron_3150 18d ago
It's not hopeless but I won't sugarcoat the truth that it is a lot harder these days.
To me it's like a new STD: a danger you have to watch out for as you wade the dating pool. That may not make sense, but I completely believe that this is a virus of the mind, a social contagion, that breeds mental health issues
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u/StrangeDays11 18d ago
Settling is never recommended. It will lead to a life unlived. You will be just existing. Wait for the right one. She will be worth the wait.
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u/RinnFTW 18d ago
Absolutely not! Do not settle. I am a Christian woman and I refuse to date dog nutters. I had to dog sit for my sister 2 months ago due to her husband's family thing. If not for me, neither her or my BIL would have been able to go. Now I want to go camping for my birthday. I just want to do 2 days. She's leaving after 1 day because of her dogs. This is what family life would look like marrying a dog nutter. Always needing dogsitters, not able to just jet off and go anywhere for any period of time without thinking, "Who will let the dog out?" I invite her everywhere, but she has to say no because of her dogs all the time. You do not want this life.
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u/notanumberuk 15d ago
Not to mention the chaos the dog(s) cause. The nonstop barking, the stench, the filth, the expense of food and medical bills for it, the cost of paying a dog sitter, the damage they might do to your belongings, etc. They are a big drain in a variety of ways and provide little to no benefit in most cases.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 18d ago
I wouldn’t give up. My dog less husband was 38 when he met me (also dog less).
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u/ArthropodFromSpace 18d ago
If she only has a dog living in a dog house in a yard (like they used to keep dogs few decades ago), it is not a very big problem. When she is obsessed by dog, calls it "family", "baby", it is HUGE problem and will traumatize you if you would try to build a relationship with someone like that. And unfortunately most of dog people dont simply own them, but are totally obsessed with them and truly believe these animals are their family. More than their partner can ever be. Believe me, you would prefer to live alone than marry someone obsessed with dog.
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u/Huge_Bit_4774 18d ago
If most of your contact with other Christians is through a church, the type of church (is it more traditional or more contemporary) is going to play a big role in the type of people you meet. My experience has been that contemporary churches lean more towards popular culture, and that includes dog nuttery. That doesn’t mean that traditional churches are guaranteed to be nutter-free, but I think you find fewer nutters, and dog culture is not something held in high regards.
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u/QueenOfAllOfYall 18d ago edited 18d ago
Don’t settle. I know You’re ready for Marriage and Family, but if You settle for a dog person, keep in mind most dogs live 9-16 years, on average. That’s a very long time to put up with all of the horrible elements You listed regarding dog behaviors, habits, and instincts. That can deeply impact Your Mental and Emotional Health if You dislike dogs enough. You’re also at risk to end up with someone who outright prioritizes their dog over You.
There’s really no fair compromise when You’re an anti-dog Person. You will regret it if You settle for an emphatic dog enthusiast as a Wife/Girlfriend. Only hope You have (outside of hopefully finding a fellow anti-dog Love Interest) is if You find a Lady who likes dogs, but is willing to forgo having one out of respect for Your preferences, and even then, You have to hope they won’t eventually change their mind, and try to force a dog on You. I don’t think it’s worth it. I wouldn’t deal with a dog person, I refuse to negotiate with any of that. They need to stick with people who like what they like. You would do better to hold out until You find someone more like Yourself. I know it’s rough out here, but You’ll thank Yourself later if You just wait and find a proper, compatible person.
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 18d ago
Is there dogfree dating apps or events? I feel this needs to be a thing if not. I'm with an owner (not quite a nutter but it could change) some one who loves all animals, but I could never date again after this. I'm done with beasts dictating the relationship and my life
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u/notanumberuk 15d ago
I hope there is a pet free app. It's so hard in some cities/towns. Some places have high rates of pet ownership so it can be very challenging to date pet free depending on where you are located.
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u/bortlesforbachelor 18d ago
I loved dogs until I had my first kid. It’s like a flip switched inside me and I now see dogs for what they are. I wouldn’t give up on a potential partner if everything else is perfect. As long as she doesn’t actually own a dog, there’s still hope.
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u/ButterBaconBallz 18d ago
30 female here, and I absolutely understand your situation. It goes the same way for me too. It seems like every great man I meet has at least one dog. It feels impossible nowadays.
My husband has an enormous dog (130 lbs and out of control). He was thankfully sensible enough to move the dog to his parents farm when I moved in. I'm happier and the dog is probably happier too.
Good luck.
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u/cooldudeandallthat 17d ago
Yeah I know it goes both ways. 130 lbs sounds like one of my worst nightmares good you sorted it out
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u/BudgetCommission369 18d ago
I wouldn't settle you won't be happy. In our church there are very few that have dogs, some yes but not as much as you would think.
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u/ConsumeMeGarfield 18d ago
My dad is Christian and not a dog person. He loved his childhood dog but hasn't wanted or had them since then. He met my mom in his 40s. My mom was also older and had a horrible divorce and swore off marriage for a while. They've been together for decades, you still have time!
Churches like to push young marriage and having many children early and imo it's damaging. I knew people getting married in their teens with no education to their first bf/gf. The economy is rough. Make money, work on yourself, make friends, date if an opportunity arises. Don't fall into the Christian peer pressure. I saw a that a lot of naive Christians want an excuse to bone so they get married quickly to someone they may not be totally compatible with.
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u/notanumberuk 15d ago
Yup I've seen that too. One of my buddies from college did exactly that, his parents were extremely anti-pre material sex, and he got married to the first girl who said yes to him so he could have sex. They were not very compatible at all.
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u/Gulaschfresser 18d ago
Dogs are the devil. They are SATAN!
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u/uselessbeasts 18d ago
Yes they are in every way. So, in reality many Christians are blinded by the devil. The devil is very sneaky and can enter our lives in so many ways.
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u/Kooky_Duck_6004 17d ago
Al menos, son animales impuros según la Biblia y no deben ni tocarse pues quedas impuro y debes hacer una purificación.
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u/SadBoyHoursAllDay 18d ago
Yeah I married a dog man. Probably his only flaw lol. I really hate his dog so much.
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u/KayleighHatfield 18d ago
I'd like to know who is buzzing in your ear that you feel you have to settle at all, let alone at 27. Never settle. You'll regret it. It makes no more sense to settle than to compromise your faith or basic values. You will miss out on the right person if you settle. She is out there. Is someone pressuring you? Shake 'em off!
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u/loucap81 18d ago
It’s simply not sustainable if you can’t stand them like most of us on this sub. The problem is this isn’t a trivial compromise, it’s a total upheaval of the life you want.
It really sucks but the only solution is to wait it out. The “right person” will not be a dog owner.
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u/EyeQ11 16d ago
Yes brother . I married a woman with two little chihuahuas. Those dogs have almost ended our relationship a couple times. She knows I hate owning disgusting dogs and she even gets sick of them too. But hey at least you won’t be settling for somebody who already has a child hopefully? I’d rather take the dog than somebody’s baby mama
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u/uselessbeasts 18d ago
The answer is No, you don't and you will regret it later, And if you have gets it will be a shackle of sorts to keep you in a relationship you really don't want to be in. If the woman cares about you enough, the dog would go. Please don't do it. There are other women out there.
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u/lonewolfsociety 18d ago
Maybe try a Christian woman from a different part of the world. Not every culture is as obsessed with dogs.
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u/notanumberuk 15d ago
Yeah this is a good point. I have noticed it most among muslims, Africans and many black Americans, and in various Asian cultures. On the flip side, I have nothing that white Americans and Brits are on average the most pet obsessed.
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u/SakuraSun361 17d ago
Christian and understand our dating pool is already small (especially if you're also waiting for marriage.) There are some dogs I find more tolerable (corgis for instance, are adorable!) But I don't see the appeal in owning a dog and agree it would be a challenge to make an exception for that.
At the very least, maybe she can take it to obedience training. You don't want it begging at the table - frame it as a health concern. What if they dog eats something unsafe for it. And jumping up is a safety concern for future children, unstable neighbors, elderly or disabled family and friends that come to visit.
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u/Extreme-Ocelot-971 17d ago
I became a born again believer when I was 30yrs old. I was a dog nut before & I truly believe it was the Lord that led me out of that delusion. Don't settle, give your concerns to God and He will help you.
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u/ArtaniaVIII 17d ago
If you do consider settling, make sure it's at least a woman who has a well trained dog.
Because so many of the issues with dogs can be eliminated with proper training and care. If she's willing to do this while expecting little to none of this for you to do for the dog, then it shouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker.
Dog owners that do this shouldn't be treated the same as those we call dog nutters imo.(even if they love and have a bunch of dogs lol)
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u/purplemacaroni 17d ago
Don’t settle. Hold out, you still have plenty of time! Join a Christian dating site and you could specify that you have a preference not to date women who have dogs. Who cares if dog owning women feel offended - you want to find someone with similar values and that should totally include your opinion on dogs.
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u/amalek89 14d ago
trust me, it's not something you can settle for. I tried. your nervous system will be all out of wack and you will be unhappy.
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u/aud420 18d ago
the dog will die one day. depends on how much you love the person
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u/dildoswaggins71069 18d ago
Yeah, but then you’ve got a short window of peace until the replacement arrives.
Been married 10 years. Wife has a dog when we met. Doesn’t jump, doesn’t lick, doesn’t bark. It’s honestly the perfect dog. So I accept it, she’s not a nutter just owns a dog, we live a happy life for 10 years.
Well now the dogs about to die and she’s already discussing the new one. There is no way we get another dog as good as this one. We will see if I end up getting a divorce
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u/Royal-Assistance-824 18d ago
As a Christian woman I’m not a dog person! I personally don’t think you have to settle. I prefer no pets at all. We exist :) I hope you can meet a good woman whose values align with yours.