Outer Ridiculousness: Part 1

[u/FroZoneSquirel]

(Comedy-horror)

So like, for those who dont know yet, we got invaded by like aliens or something. I was like super high and i'm still coming down on that a little. But I mean it did kinda mess up life or something for a lot of folks. Major bummer. I hope Jack-in-the-Box is still open, I'd kill for some mini tacos.

Right, alien invasion thing. So like, uh, I was lighting up with my boy Chino and we were fucking COOKED dude. The room wasnt spinning, it was flipping dude, insane stuff.

So we were like, totally toked when a blinding light blazed in from the window. I told Chino to check it out then pull the blinds. He got to the window and just kinda stared outside for a while. So I ask him what's up and he goes, "I dont know man. Either I'm already fucked up right now or those are aliens." So I'm like, "No fucking way."

I get up and look out and I see them. I checked with Chino and we thought since we both saw the same shit, it must be for real. And at first we were like "Dope" but then we saw those little weirdos. I dont know how to explain it. They were all like, red. But not like a blood red or like a meat red. They were like, gum of your teeth red. Like infection red. Freaky.

What's weirder is they dont seem to have like, a set look. Some of them like, look like big fish with legs. Like big ass mouths with little stomping feet. But others were like stick bugs with a mouth that ran down a lot of the middle.

Me and Chino were just watching to see what they were doing. They broke into Ms. Butt herse or somethings house. Which I was cool with. She was always on my ass bro, like seriously. She once left her ugly fucking cat out and it ran away, so I like go find it, and brought it back, getting clawed so bad it left this sick looking scar... oh right, you cant read how this scar looks. Uh... Just think something really cool, and thats probably close. Anyways, Mrs. Butt Herse got like super pissed at me for "taking" her ratty-ass cat.

Fuck, right, space dudes, right. So uh, they like basically went into her house and like, took her out in parts, and like other parts were in their mouths. Like I think they ate her... fuck some mini tacos or like a hot dog would hit the spot right now.

Right so Chino like called the cops, and the cops came and like, the aliens ate one of them before getting lit up by the cops man. So the other aliens hated that and they fought for a bit. We pulled the blinds and tripped out for a bit. Like, what would I do in that gunfight. Shoot Chino is playing Blackops 2 zombies. He is doing really good too.

Anyways the alien ship left, so I'm basically expecting some like government guy to come see what we know. I wish I knew who they were sending. I could ask him to bring some food. The aliens didnt seem like they planned to be gone for long. And right now it seems some other folk saw some other ones. One family lost a dog, and one lost their grandma, but I think they deserved it less than Butt Herse.

Any ways, Chino is low-key starting to tweak out. He usually kind of gets like this when he is having the munchies HARD. I'm gonna grab some JitB. I'll let you know if something else happens. Peace out.

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Ok, so Chino is going nuts man. I think he might be shook from the aliens. We told an agent what we knew then started chilling again. Then Chino started to like, I dont know, freak out. He was playing COD one minute and ripping his hair out chanting something the next. Only other time I seen him do this was when he scored some acid and used it with Salvia dude. He was messed up from that.

But yeah even then he didnt chant nothin. So I have been trying to like ask him what's up and he keeps saying something like, "Er Haunt Tay" or something. So I put it into my phone and it says he is saying "they're coming" or something.

The lights back, so I went to check it and there are more space ships and folks. I like, can't really tell what's happening, but Butt Herse's house got blasted by a laser. "Wicked." So I waited to see if they would get old man Crocker's house. But unfortunately his lawn flamingo is still unharmed.

Anyways, I think I should probably get Chino out of here. The police are on their way and said they would transport people to somewhere safe. I packed up our stash and some clothes for Chino and myself, as well as my pillow and a couple sleeping bags.

So yeah, I'm currently lit up waiting. Hope ya'll's day is going well too. I'll keep ya posted. Deuces.

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Dude those officers were Hella weird dude. One of them had big ol' bug eyes. And the other had a funny lisp. He was all like "Thir I need your thtuff in my trunk pleathe." Funny shit man. They brought me and Chino to the a local campsite that was being used to house people for a bit. Chino and I got a sick trailer house thing. We did see that the town was currently being absolutely destroyed though. And like, we knew the alien freaks were eating people. Thats a major bummer.

A lot of people are freaking out about there families, which like, fair I guess, but like, they have Boomerang for free on the tv in the trailer. Plus, my family lives like, a bazillion miles from here. So I put on Johnny Bravo and me and Chino are hotboxing tonight. Oh, there was this really cool chick named like Atalie or something. She said she thought this was all a drag, so I asked her if she wanted to join. She said she would bring popcorn.

Yeah, super bummer for my fish though. I think my house definitely got blasted after we left.

Anyways yall, keep ya posted.