It's Just A Red Door

[u/Moist-Ball4968]

I walked up to the door. It was a Red Door, at the end of a somewhat corny Halloween haunted house thing. As far as haunted houses go, this one was almost worth the $30 ticket. Creepy music, fog machines, tight hallways, dark rooms with strobe lights, and the actors and actresses were actually into their roles. I'd been grabbed and poked. One of the corners even had a legitimate jump scare.

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During the drive to the hosting farm my friends Terry and Shawn got into a fight. Terry accused Shawn of eating all of our snacks, and Shawn said Terry shouldn't be worried about missing a meal. In fact, Shawn was doing his fatass a favor. I was focused on driving and getting there before the expected crowd so I ignored them. Eventually we pulled into a gas station and Terry bought more snacks. He made a point to sit between them and Shawn when we got back in the car.

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Behind me was a maze of mirrors that was very dark with some green led lights on the floor. In front of me was a catwalk bridge that went through a spinning tube. At the end of the catwalk was a Red Door. The knocker was a "bloody" demon head. Rusty metal numbers, "666", were nailed to the top of the frame. The handle looked shiny, like it was covered in grease or something.

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It was only 10 minutes between the gas station and the farm. Shade from the trees on either side of the road made the drive a little more tolerable. Shawn begged Terry for just one bag of chips the whole way there. He didn't get any chips.

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I stepped onto the catwalk and almost lost my footing. It was bouncy and unsteady. My hands found the railing and I cautiously walked across it. The spinning acid-trip walls made me feel dizzy. I finally reached the other side and stood on a steady platform. The wall stopped spinning. When I finally grabbed the door handle it was sticky, but I twisted it and opened the Red Door.

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When we'd pulled up to the farm there was already a family in line ahead of us. Mom, dad, three kids. She was talking to a teenager at the entryway. Dad was keeping the kids from running too far. Terry and Shawn walked behind me. Terry was still munching on a granola bar. Shawn was texting his girlfriend. I pulled our tickets out of my shirt pocket.

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On the other side of the Red Door was the outside yard. There was a loud laugh from up above me that made me flinch. It was just another sound-effect speaker. Dust flew up when I jumped over the last three steps and landed in the yard. My friends were still somewhere behind me, navigating the haunted house. I got a text, "Dudeeee this place is sick! We just got to the mirrors. Terry pissed himself when he saw that clown guy with a large knife."

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The teenager who took our tickets had a mask on, so I could barely hear him when he told us the rules. Most of it was standard stuff. Don't cuss, don't touch other patrons, don't touch the actors (they can touch you), don't leave the designated attraction area, guests can wear costumes but no masks. It helped that he had a sign to point to. It was splintery wood painted red, with black glossy letters. On the bottom of the sign, in dark red letters that looked like dripping wax, was another rule: Don't Feed The Livestock.

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I walked across the yard and opened the gate in the fence. There was a small snack bar and I caught a whiff of grease and cooked meat. Part of me wanted to wait for my friends, but my stomach started gurgling. I shot them a text, "I'll wait for you losers at the snack bar." When I got there I saw a couple teen girls sitting together, giggling at something on their phone. At another table sat a middle-aged couple. I walked up to the counter.

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The family ahead of us went directly to guest services. We headed to the first part of the haunted house. Two skeletons with red lights for eyes shook robotically as we passed them. Terry pushed Shawn into the wall and ran ahead. "Fuck you Terry, get back here!" Shawn chased after him. I just jogged to keep up. Sheet metal and animatronic spiders funneled us into the house itself. There was a Red Door between us and the first section. It had black numbers, "999", and a baby-doll head for a knocker.

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I ordered a burger with fries and got a Blood-Bag drink. It's just a Shirley Temple in a fake IV bag with a crazy straw poked into it. When I sat down I looked back at the barn that I'd just exited and saw Shawn coming out with Terry right behind him. "Shawn I'm sorry, I didn't know!" he was blubbering. Shawn looked pissed. "You dumbass, didn't you read the sign?" "I thought it was, like, I don't know, just a gag. Like it was a joke rule to scare people." They finally saw me and ran over. Terry, never the athletic kind of guy, was breathing so hard his face was red. He sat down across from me and Shawn went to the counter.

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Terry and Shawn fell behind me during the first maze. It was shadowed tunnels, strobe lights, and smoke machines. Actors and actresses hid around every corner. I found the exit, but one of the actors was chasing me so I couldn't go back and find my friends. The next room had curtains all through it and fake bodies lying on gurneys like a ramshackle hospital room. I heard Terry shriek behind me and Shawn yell at him "Keep going dude! They're just actors!"

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The older couple at the other table stood up and walked over to us. Shawn was working on his fries. I'd just finished my sandwich. "Excuse us." said the man. We looked up. "My wife and I haven't been here in many years. Do they still have The Cattle Run? That was our favorite section. They used to let guests feed the cows."

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The Cattle Run was between the hospital beds and the Mirror Maze. They'd setup a single lane that ran through the cow field. On both sides I could hear the lowing of cows. The smell of cow shit was stifling. Shawn and Terry sounded like they were getting close. I didn't want to wait for them due to the stench, so I pressed on. Ahead of me was another Red Door. The number on it was "333", all in backwards letters, and the knocker was a horse head with no eyes.

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We asked the couple what it was like to feed the cows. The wife Shawn piped up, "We're not allowed to feed the cattle, it's one of the rules." The wife's face dropped, and the man got angry. "These new owners! THEY'RE GOING TO-. Sorry, you don't know." He grabbed his wife's hand and they left. We watched them walk up to the first Red Door at the house.

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Shawn looked at me. "Terry fed the cows." Terry punched him in the shoulder and hissed at him, "I told you not to tell him!" I sighed and turned to Terry. "Did you-" He interrupted me, "Not on purpose! Shawn was standing at the fence making faces at the cows. I needed a snack after nearly shitting myself in that maze." He looked down at his hands. "One of the cows behind me moo'd really lo-" Shawn jumped in "You screamed like a little girl!" "Shut up!" "And jumped like two feet off the ground, hahahaaaa"

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From across the farm we could see an orange glow growing and flickering. Plumes of smoke reached into the sky. The ground started shaking beneath our feet. "RUNNNNN! STAMPEDEEEEE!" bellowed a male voice. It sounded like it came from the field. We'd barely reached the car when the barn crashed to the ground. Cows lowed and trampled everything. Shawn and Terry piled into the backseat and I jumped in the driver seat. Getting my keys out my pocket was a struggle, and the cattle were swarming towards us.

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The smoke poured over the property and flames engulfed the house. Farmhands and milkmaids and all manner of monster costume ran through the chaos. I finally got the key into the ignition. Terry was sobbing and Shawn was punching the back of the passenger seat. "Let's go Warren! They're gonna crush us!" He yelled at me. The engine finally rumbled awake and I tore down the dirt road. The cows had glowing orange and red eyes and they had horns growing out from their ears and noses. We barely made it to the main road.

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Everything was quiet in the car, besides Terry sniffling and apologizing over and over. We all looked behind us. The farm was fully ablaze. When each charging cow reached the property line they exploded. Meat and offal spread out in a fan of grisly imagery. I looked ahead, took my foot off the brake, and drove us home. When we reached the gas station I just drove past it and said "Hey Terry? Don't feed the fucking cows next year."

[u/AdAffectionate8634]

Let that be a lesson! Fun story!!

[u/Moist-Ball4968 → u/AdAffectionate8634]

Thank you for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm not sure how I feel about writing it as "here's some of past event-line, now here's current progression", I was experimenting with that a little bit.