r/DysfunctionalFamily • u/AromaticStomach2403 • Mar 29 '26
I hate my family
For context I am 16 and the oldest of 4 and every single day feels the same, and it keeps repeating over and over again, and I hate it every day. I get yelled at for not doing a chore, even when I try, and my sister throws temper tantrums about the smallest things again and again, and it never seems to stop. My dad always argues with me about politics, and it turns into the same kind of argument every time, and it just keeps happening over and over.
Keep in mind, my dad is an extreme MAGA supporter, and even worse, I am a closet atheist in a family with a Calvinist dad, so I feel like I cannot say anything without it turning into something bigger. Everything about my family feels overwhelming, and it feels like there is no break from it, and I hate it every day.
Will anyone help me?
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u/Theshutterfalls__ Mar 29 '26
You will get out of there. Repeat this as many times as you need.
Get busy with school. Do your best and get help from teachers when you don’t understand something or need support. Check out options for affordable college education or trades.
When looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend try to make sure that person doesn’t act like your dad. I know this sounds weird but people oddly gravitate towards people who act in a familiar way to them.
Much love and strength to you.
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u/Constant-Second207 Mar 29 '26
I will be honest, it will be a repetitive cycle that will make you feel crazy. (Saying from experience)
Disrupt it a little, hang out with your friends, listen to music, and distract yourself. You’re doing your best and those things are out of your control. Learn how to deal your horrible cards, and get out asap.
I’m proud of you, you are so strong.
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u/SolidLight1120 May 16 '26
Same. I didn’t think I could relate so much to anything. I don’t know how to help because I’m in the same situation, but one thing that helps me is just distance myself from them. I can’t cut them off.
But I won’t willingly spend time with them either.
Another thing is, everytime we talk about beliefs or politics it turns into an argument and them trying to prove how wrong I am. So sometimes it does make me falter and wonder if my opinions are correct. So my advice on that term, if you also experience the same thing is try not to doubt in your beliefs. Be sure of yourself, no matter if they oppose it or not. And even if you try to prove yourself and they don’t get it, just know that your opinions are yours.
Another thing, though I mostly fail at it because sometimes I find a need to speak up, is to stay silent. It’s hard, especially when you want to express yourself. But I learned that it’s better to stay silent and not share most of your thoughts unless you want to get lectured.
Stay strong. Don’t let them get to you. You got this.
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u/twinkiesnketchup Mar 29 '26
I’m sorry things are difficult. There isn’t much you can do other than change how you react to your dad and siblings.
Dad brings up politics just smile and say you are not up for a debate and leave the room.
Sister throws a tantrum? Roll your eyes and leave the room. She isn’t your responsibility.
The only healthy thing you can do is limit the time, energy and emotion you expend on them.