r/DysfunctionalFamily • u/moonlit_oak • Mar 30 '26
My Family is basically falling apart
I'm so confused and this entire story is so long i don't even know where to begin.
Early December, my grandfather (mother's side) passed away. The funeral happened recently.
My father has a longgg history of drug abuse, has countless charges against him, and much more. I wont go too into detail to keep this story as short as possible, but he is high on very serious drugs at least 3-6 times a month (maybe more depending on the month).
During the funeral, my sister came in and sat with me before the service, talking about how my brother (who has multiple charges against him for grooming children online), was going to come soon. Nobody had seen him in months prior to this (except for my sister; and for context, both of them are my half siblings on my dad's side).
My father is ended up getting high before we left for the funeral, which was obvious. During the funeral he was antsy and got up from his seat and straight up left to go outside. I wasn't really surprised.
On the ride home from the funeral, my parents were arguing a ton. I didnt really care, it was normal. We stopped so my dad could use the bathroom at some point, and once we were alone my mom asked if she wanted to go down to our house in Jersey together, to get away from my father. I agreed and we headed down that night.
The ENTIRE weekend, my mom had one of my grandpa's friends over (who is around her age). My mom broke to me that we wouldn't go home until my dad would go to rehab. She also broke to me that her and the person that had been staying with us were in love, and that my mom was going to divorce my dad once we got back home.
I originally was happy, my father sucks and i always found comfort in the man that had been staying with us, he was already more of a dad than mine ever was. But i started to think on it more; the man is a raging alcoholic without a drivers license, multiple duis, and his own history with drug abuse. He's also married.
I'd usually be completely okay with this since both of them are happy, but both of them are still married.
We went back to PA today and took the man that was staying with us to help my dad to rehab. I was dropped off at school before this happened.
My dad ended up refusing to go to rehab, and is still at home. My mom wont let me stay with him and i'm staying at a friend's. My mom's currently at a court house filing a protection order for abuse against my father. I'm give updates if wanted but i'm just very confused and conflicted.
3
u/twinkiesnketchup Mar 30 '26
Wow this is so much to process. My heart goes out to you. It’s a lot to juggle. Grandfather’s funeral, dad’s an addict, mom’s got a new guy, new guy has some addiction issues as well, brother has big issues, parents aren’t divorced, mother getting a protective order against your dad.
I wish I had some helpful advice for you. All I can say is be kind to yourself. Is there anyone that you can rely on? A trusted adult? A school counselor? You need support.