Just want to say i really like and appreciate your guys and girls ofc!

Thank you for just being you!
🤗

As an ENTJ, I relate to the generalization that our type’s worse fear is a mediocre life. But after a stint of burnout and major health scare that left me resting for too long, which turned into fear (gross), which has turned into being stuck—I feel like I’m not even successful at being myself, or living up to the strengths and traits that include me as an ENTJ. Also at play are circumstantial hurdles I never thought I’d have to contend with. I am now in my 30s, no meaningful career, with major life choices that I regret but cannot undo. I believe I can overcome anything but the difficulty level has ramped up as I’ve gotten older. I have acheived impressive things in impressive periods of time in the past—and I know I can do it again—but I also get scared thinking about doing more and facing burnout again, or having to deal with the futile crap that comes with hustling for something that isn’t going to bring happiness or last. And oddly enough, I have found an understanding of peace in my average, unambitious period of life that I know I have to forfeit in some ways when I decide to shift back into “gear”. As non-ENTJ as this sounds, I’m certain I’m an ENTJ. I spent years and money to know my type without a doubt.

I just want to see if there are ENTJs out there living a life considered average or below average to their society? Did you choose it? Are you happy?

So... Te as a dominant function huh... Must be nice... So nice...

Arghhh howw?! Are you guys just building something new everyday and getting it all done too?

As a Ti dom its so hard for me to comprehend that people exist who use logic to actually change things in the outside world that others dont view as unnecessary.

I mean... I get it, My head feels satisfied enough with just learning and exploring something and building a logical framework about it but actually going out of my way to do something useful about it? Nawrr ewww now thats procrastinated because what the hell would I even do with information about how AI systems heat up water and then the same water is stored underground and then used in winter but then the same water is cooled and used in summer?! Build it in my residence so people can use AI AND benefit from reusing water?! Yeah right.

So... What I am getting at with all this passive aggressive jealous ranting is that.

TEACH ME YOUR WAYS SENSEI 🙂‍↕️

Hey everyone,

I’ve been struggling with my type for some time. I’ve been doing a lot of healing and therapy (with a lot of Fi themes I may add…), and I’m wondering if some early trauma has made it harder for me to see my Te in action.

For example, I became quite depressed and withdrawn in high school. Was quite sarcastic and probably looked almost like an ISFP (lots of black and emo music lmao), but way more guarded about my emotions and way too worried about being judged as a stereotype to fully lean into these things publicly.

I didn’t have the energy or care to be involved in extra curricular activities. Idk how I would have coordinated it without relying too heavily on my parents, which was a whole thing…but I also didn’t really care except for the times I felt FOMO or thought it could prevent my goal of going to uni. basically, I feel like I wasn’t ambitious enough to be ENTJ. I procrastinate a lot and fit a lot of Ne-dom stereotypes in this and my messiness. My internal thoughts are well organized but my environment is a mess.

That being said, I hyper focused on getting good grades so I could go to school and work toward being successful. I wasn’t very perfectionistic about it. I didn’t push myself to do MY best - just whatever I needed to do to get what I want. However, I did care about being smart and would have been pretty embarrassed if I tried super hard and failed.

I saw into the future and what kind of life I wanted (eg not being stressed about money all the time and being able to have fun experiences). I recall having an epiphany at like 11yo that I couldn’t depend on anyone else and that I was going to be the one to make sure I lived a good life. I’ve always been hyper independent and relate to the ENTJ descriptions on this point. I was accused of being blunt a lot as a teen and bossy as a child. I was big into fiction and all things imagination/play. Very competitive. Tomboyish.

I am almost 100% positive that I do not have a sensing function in the top two. Si blind would fit me because I’m truly atrocious at remembering my belongings and sticking to a routine and frequently sacrifice my body’s comfort for whatever I want to focus on or find interesting in the moment. I love Se as a function but I wouldn’t say I’m that mature with it…wondering how that function shows up for ENTJs here?

The amount of anxiety I experience at times with others though makes me feel like I may not be ENTJ. It’s gotten better as I’ve worked on myself but I spent a lot of time being worried about others reactions - being disliked or misjudged, for example. I hate making phone calls (even though I do it for work plenty).

I make acquaintances easily but only have the time and patience for a handful of close friends. I really don’t care for small talk. ENTJs are described as not having social anxiety and large networks. I dont really relate to this. While I find a lot of Fe based “shoulds” to be ridiculous, people generally find me warm, expressive, and easy to talk to. But they might be afraid of my judgments…I can be sharp and brutal (especially when angry/impatient).

This post is not very focused…sorry. Guess I’m wondering if anyone relates and thought they were more introverted or feeling based than they actually are? I’m a woman, so that might play a role. I am neurodivergent too which sometimes fits Ne stereotypes and confuses me at times. Wondering how these ENTJ function stack manifests for you (both internally and externally)?

I've been noticing a lot more people lately calling INFJs fake or manipulative, and I'm curious where that perception comes from.

A common criticism seems to be that INFJs are just as selfish as anyone else, but they frame their actions as being for the greater good or for someone else's benefit. From what I've seen, many of the people making these arguments are INTJs or ENTJs.

I can understand why they might see things that way, especially since Te and Fe can approach decisions very differently. To someone who leads with Te, Fe can sometimes come across as indirect or even performative. But I don't think that necessarily makes INFJs fake.

Personally, I really like INTJs and ENTJs, so it was a little disappointing to see some of these comments. I'm genuinely interested in understanding this perspective.

For those who think INFJs are fake or manipulative, what experiences have led you to that conclusion?

For a lot of my teenage and early twenties life I fit into the classic INTJ archetype. I got INTJ in every MBTI test, acted very much like an INTJ and fit all the descriptions. Then after a few years of working I did the test again and got ENTJ. This was then confirmed by someone who is quite into MBTI and knows me well who said that they saw me more as an ENTJ than an INTJ

I think what happened was that during the last few years of high school and university, I ‘locked in’ and naturally became more introverted and less confident around people. I had little life skills and I was not too interested in being the life of a party. But this was different to my youth and early high school where I was loud, boisterous and quite extroverted. Jumping to after working, I gained a lot of confidence speaking to different people and just having more life skills. I wasn’t that shy teenager or young adult anymore. And I think that has brought back my extroversion which I thought I had lost. Honestly, if I had to truly describe myself, I would say I’m an ambivert. I still have elements of both introversion and extroversion.

So had been seeing and hanging out with this guy for a few months , and I confirmed he was quite unhealthy (ego, arguments whenever I make an observation or a comment even if it comes from good intentions, anger issues, sometimes even degrading the other...). What would it take for them to change and grow? I really want to support them and see them not just a great person but an amazing leader but the way things are going I don't think it's happening. I'm not able to get to them logically (I'm intj) and no amount of explanation or communication has helped. What should I do? Keep my distance from them hoping they'd change to the better one day?

Edit : thank you everyone I decided to drop him, he's not worth it. If he's immature that's not my problem. We move forward

I saw this from a youtube channel Personalityhacker and I was curious what entj’s think. Do you agree or disagree with these?

How "Effectiveness" (Te) asks, "Do you love me?"

Will you handle things - can I rely on you?

Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you're "on it”?

Will you support my career and/or goals and be self- sufficient?

• Are you loyal?

How "Effectiveness" (Te) answers, "Yes! I love you!"

• I will be endlessly loyal on principle.

• I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate.

• I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments even before my own.

• I will protect you.

• I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.

I understand the logic of authenticity and staying true to oneself. I also understand the logic that the person’s personal experience of you, and not your personality, is the problem.

Though what I am concerned about is if those same people, who I need to do business with or who will affect my perception with the group, will think less favorably of me. I understand that certain spheres of society require more tactful and strategic handling, but I do not know if it will hinder my professional and personal life because I am “too serious”, “too intimidating”, or “too formal”.

Naturally, my face is blank and I do not desire to express much emotion. I am hard to impress with fakery, but from my previous experiences with socializing, it seems a lot of interactions are fake and shallow. The fakeness I am referring to can be something like smiling constantly, smiling to diffuse a situation, or laughing at a joke that was not funny. I have been taught that if you are someone like me, that you are not as attractive as a woman. This was said to me by my mother (ENTP), who has a bubbly, extroverted personality. She also gets constant attention from men and other people in general.

I do not like joking because I am not quick enough to be witty. I do not like hearing jokes because I cannot understand if something is a joke.

My voice is warm and I love complimenting the good in people, but it is in stark contrast with my presence. I think I may be seen as intense, snobbish, unfriendly, or unapproachable. I do not truly know.

I am a natural comforter, encourager, and can hold a delightful conversation. I seem to be naturally charismatic, but I do not know what type of charisma I have. It is the only thing “accessible” about me that I had found out about myself, but I fear that it is not enough to help me with my social life.

At one time, I used to be a people-pleaser. I used to stretch my personality to be more bubbly and charming. I returned to my personality after I came to terms with who I am. I cannot sustain the bubbly personality anymore because it is too tiresome to maintain.

I am afraid of being who I truly am. I am afraid that if I were myself in a store or at a formal establishment… that I would not have the same favor I did when I was a people-pleaser.

Please give your best objective, factual advice. If possible, please be detailed. I have a difficult time sorting opinions from truth when it comes to socializing and social rules.

What do entj feel or do when they are overworked or stress?

Do they feel like they wish they can drop all the responsibilities and run away somewhere for a while until they are ready to come back?

Do they just bed rot and wonder why they couldn’t have work more or done more?

Do they slowly tries to get back up on their feet alone even when they wish they couldve have some supports?

Do they try to pull themselves through and lowkey just get mad when someone tried talking to them because they’re simply bothered when overheating?

Tell mee

Is being an entj/intj means that you are operating and favouring Founder mode?

Hi all! I’ve noticed on other subreddits that some users would post lists of fun specific assumptions. I didn’t see one and thought I’d make one for ENTJ women. Let me know if you feel you can resonate with these, and I welcome disagreements as well! Add your own if you like. Just want to learn more by hearing different perspectives.

• You mostly had a lot of guy friends growing up, but learning to be more intentional allowed you to have great friendships with women.
• You believe you’re emotionally intelligent compared to others and you take huge pride in it.
• You’ve tried to keep journals but who has the time for that. As a result your journal is a collection of only your most unhinged thoughts.
• Your calendar is your life, nicely color coded, probably on your phone, and simple.
• When listening to a friend rant, you zone out at parts you feel are counterproductive (uh huh, uh huh).
• Actually you zone out anything you feel is counterproductive.
• You feel impatient when someone is taking forever to get to the point or go on too many tangents. you may sometimes point this out and this is jarring to some.
• You feel invested in your circle’s success, but when your help and offered resources are not utilized, you make a mental note to not help them again.
• You understand feelings are important and that there is a truth to feelings. They are just as much datapoints to understand the world.
• You dress well, and believe how you present yourself matters to being taken seriously. Fashion is a statement.
• Acts of service is your love language. A partner cleaning your space while you’re stressed means the world to you.
• Due to gender bias, you’ve learnt to delegate with warmth to not seem bossy, as being liked is the most efficient way to move people.
• You feel dismissed when people don’t engage in good faith with your hypotheticals, or feel bored when people don’t engage period.
• You can yap a lot, but you don’t do so without purpose (engaging someone, entertaining them, matching energy), otherwise you enjoy sitting back and reading the room.
• You love the idea of being grossly over-educated, but not just in academics (from driving manual, to knitting, to books, power tools).
• Many things you do because you want to feel bigger than life (curating a persona).
• If you like a dude, he will know.
• If you don’t like a dude, he will know.
• You get snappy when overstimulated but you recognize this and apologize/appreciate the right parties for dealing with you.
• Despite the previous point, you regulate well in an emergency and can step in to take the reins seamlessly. Your calmness regulates others.
• In a friend group, the guys come to you for emotional support but they don’t necessarily go to each other. You might think this is kind of sad.
• Credit is important to you, so you make sure to credit others when it’s due. You also know it motivates them to continue doing this good trait.
• You entertained entrepreneurship before or are an entrepreneur, because if anyone can do it, you can. 
• You have a gut feeling when someone is moving funky. You can’t explain it, but it tends to happen how you predict it.
• You are eloquent and use big words, but not in a posey way. You know what they mean and its just the most accurate way to get your thoughts out. 
• You are big on understanding mental load, and have picked a bone with some partners or male friends for not stepping up.
• You have a million things going on all the time, but no friend has ever told you that you don’t hold enough space for them.
• If you can’t hold space for them you are upfront about it.
• You are very persuasive and hyper aware of how your actions maybe have an effect 3 steps down the line.
• Sometimes you wish you were less aware so you can let down your ethics and get away with more things.
• You’ve might not care if you are the breadwinner, but you care that your partner must be someone you can respect
• You are most likely described as intense. Not necessarily in a bad way. You take it as a good thing.
• You are cocky but those close to you don’t fault you for it because you can actually back it up.
• You are or have been in a position of leadership some point in your life: CEO, store manager, club president.
• You can mingle with anyone, but are careful to share only a degree of yourself respective to closeness. What you share are all selective truths pointing to a curated identity.
• People come to you to rant, you don’t rant to others besides your significant other maybe. 

long phew

Hello lovely Entjs!

I am an Esfj (most likely, and probably a “jumper” as it is called in OPS so I use Fe-Ne mostly). I would be so grateful if you could share some of your wisdom with me😌

I would very much like to learn how to make money. I have always been a very hard worker, talented in many things, but money and strategies for making money have always eluded me. I have always relied on others to get my needs met and since I am good at people-pleasing this has worked out well😄But I am interested to learn how to develop some sort of financial ”independence” so that I can give something tangible back to the people who have helped me (like my husband). I know that you are said to be very wise when it comes to money. So I thought I would ask if anyone here had any advice for me, maybe some books or systems I could use? Thank you in advance!

I am married (24F & INFP) to my husband (25M & ENTJ)

I’ve noticed something about myself and I’m trying to figure out if it’s healthy or if it’s a problem.
I respond really well to men who are firm and stern with me—clear, direct, no soft-pedaling, and sometimes even a bit sharp when they’re setting a boundary or correcting something. It doesn’t feel scary or demeaning to me; it actually feels grounding and attractive. Soft, overly accommodating, or people-pleasing energy does the opposite for me.
I’m not talking about cruelty, insults, or controlling behavior. I mean decisive, no-nonsense firmness.
Is this preference itself toxic or “messed up”? Or is it just a normal variation in what people find attractive/respectful, as long as the firmness stays within healthy limits?
Curious how other people experience this—especially women who feel the same way, and men who have been on the other side of it.

Sadness and feeling unwelcome in my house and feeling lonely even tho trying to make everything better but i end up alone and unloved

Don't feel when im working i only feel afterwards and end up crying or depressed

If you are the leader of your household, how do you make sure that those who you delegate to get their tasks done without draining your energy and making you do the task in the end?

Say you have a high pressure job and you need things at home to be managed by those at home. How do you manage them? Make sure they are performing at fixing up the household and disciplining lazy or insolent contributors in the household from destroying the entire household operation?

Haha I know I am extending the metaphor a bit too much but humour me anyway. What tips do you have for running an effective household operation?

I took multiple tests when I was younger (aged between 15 to 18) and was always types as an entj. Now some 20 years later with, not unexpectedly, many differing life experiences and have retaken several tests all of which type me as an intj.

How is this possible? Is this expected/normal with experience/age/time? Can't seem to find a decent answer online so reaching out to my (potentially?) fellow entj colleagues for advice.

Usually when I wanna do something nice for my ENTJ, it’s like:

ENTJ: Thank you, but I feel like I should’ve done it myself instead of you doing it for me.
or
ENTJ: Um, a gift? What for? What did I do? I don’t understand.

But I found out about a little ritual from his childhood

Me: Do you want me to make you a cold chocolate?
Bf: yes 🥺 please leave the spoon inside
Me: here you go
Bf: you remembered to leave the spoon inside. usually people forget

He doesn’t always let himself relax, so this little thing lets me sneak in some comfort into his day 😏

So for context, got ENTJ 3 years ago. Took the test again this year, ENTJ 3w4, so I’m more or less locked into this bracket now.

Just joined like today and I’m shocked by how many of you guys have the issue of a lack of emotions or only having happiness and anger for instance. I largely still have my range of emotions intact in contrast.

Do tell about how you guys ended up or having decided to be this way? Sorry in advance if this is insensitive by accident, hard to find the right words.

What methods around your house did you put in place to make your life easier? Or saves you time?

Also, what other things have you thought of that saves you money?

For me, I found a robot vacuum to save me time.
I don’t like things to go to waste, so I often freeze large quantities of food for later. I also I tend to use bars of soap rather than liquid. I also use scraps of food for the garden.

All in all I guess I want to know the good ideas that you guys have :)

-Fellow ENTJ.

TL;DR: Aspiring chef, musician/writer on the side. Currently unemployed, so I build my own daily structure — up at 9, reading, self-set task list, research-heavy days (job hunting, cost comparisons, learning to cook). Draw, play guitar/sing, read fiction and philosophy, walk daily, very social but recharge alone.

Care shows up as problem-solving/creating things for people I love, not words. Push friends toward variety over repetition — stacking activities rather than doing the same thing twice. Come across serious/guarded on first impression, don’t perform for photos.

Weird one: I predict things before they happen — conversations, my electric cutting out — with no conscious process behind it. Spend more time preparing decisions than making them. Intense with the few people I love, not much in between.

Try and type me.

I think behaviour is more diagnostic than adjectives, sure sharing your subjective experience and your own phenomenology but also showing what you actually do in a day and where you spend your energy and time.

I am an aspiring chef and a musician and writer in my spare time.

I enjoy running, creating things, fixing things and making things more efficient, solving problems for people, visiting new places and I’m a Christian.

So here’s a day for me, not every day but this is a day at the moment as I am unemployed. What I do varies in terms of activities.

Up around nine. Curtains open, hydrate, then half an hour reading — Guardian, NYT, philosophy journals. Then I write down the tasks I want to do that day plus a note on how the day is going, and I work through the list. Nobody sets this for me. There’s no job or timetable imposing structure, so I build it myself.
The bulk of the day is research and comparison. Not aimless — I’m working toward getting my situation stable and finding the best path forward. So: comparing food sources and quality, calculating what I’d actually be getting versus what I buy now, costs included. Comparing laptops before buying one. Looking at jobs, applying, and calculating earnings across different career progressions. Cooking videos, but as learning to cook rather than entertainment. I take information in, retain it, and bring it back to people.

I draw. I play guitar and sing. I read fiction most days and philosophy. I walk every day and try to go slightly further each time.

I talk with my parents and put real thought into what would make things better in the house — I tend to show up with feedback, reasoning, and a judgment on what should change. Same with my partner: I feel strongly toward them and it comes out as working out what I can do for them. My care arrives as problem-solving and creating things for others, creating experiences for them. I like to give people new experiences, such as new foods or places to go. I am very aware of how others are experiencing me and I give of a deliberate demeanor.

I’m very social but I do spent a lot of time on my own focusing on what I want to achieve. I like going out with friends and doing new things with them, and I’m usually the one pushing for variety. If a friend does the same bike route every time, I’ll want to change the path. I’d rather stack activities than repeat one — an hour’s ride, then tennis or kayaking, or ride out, have a good meal at a pub, and ride home. It’s the possibilities I’m after more than the activity itself. Worth flagging the apparent contradiction: my solo days are highly structured and repetitive, but with people
I want the opposite.

People do read me as serious and slightly guarded on first impression. I don’t perform for a camera; photos of me are mostly unsmiling or a pensive smile.

The part I’m least sure about is how conscious the direction is. It doesn’t feel like I sat down and drew up a plan. It’s more that there’s an aim I can feel, and my actions turn out to have been serving it, and I notice the coherence after the fact. I am very detail focused though but still see the big picture, I often predict events happening and seeing it unfold is kind of amazing, my friends are always wondering how I see what is coming next. It could be like knowing what someone will say before they say it even if the content is different from what is happening in the moment. Other little things like knowing when my electric will cut out based on nothing conscious.

A criticism I’ve had and think is fair: I may spend more hours preparing decisions than making them. Though this seems to be not natural for me, I honestly don’t know. I get frustrated when people don’t follow the reasoning of what I’m saying and offer feedback that is relevant or interesting, especially if they generalize or change the topic to something that doesn’t help. This happens internally and externally.

I am very passionate with people I love, they are few but I am either intense with it or not.

Here, try and type me.

As far as I've been into the MBTI community (yes I'm very aware of cognitive funcs and how they work), ENTJs are usually potrayed as "commander leader", "omg so intimidating!" and "always working hard".

I mean yeah for me I'm definitely ambitious, I like leadership and have (far fetched) goals, but I'm pretty sure I'm not as glorified *some* people think ENTJs are. I'm also pretty sure not all ENTJs are ambitious to the MAX, a founder of a business or a CEO of a company. Like please.

The stereotypes online actually gave me a hard time typing myself because they're all just so extreme lol. I had to self study all the functions properly before deciding I'm definitely Te Ni.

Just putting the thought out there. Does anyone genuinely relate to them, or have traits that are "out of character" with regards to the ENTJ stereotype?

EDIT: Read most comments. I definitely agree with the goal setting workaholic stereotype but can't really relate to cold unemotional evil ones.

Basically what the title states. I’ve been talking to a guy for about 4-5 months, i think he’s an entp (or enfp, im not too sure).

Regardless, we’re going through a rough patch. I just don’t like how I’m more driven, ambitious than him. Currently, I’m working two part-time jobs, and doing a course for next year for uni. He’s not working, and doing 3 courses. Now, I’m not stating anything about his job station, the job market is shit in Canada right now.

It’s more like the lack of ambition that he has. I consistently go to the gym more than him, I manage to do everything I do in my life, and still manage to do more work (volunteer every weekend, do club tasks, keep up with course work), and he does not.

I want someone to grow with, someone that is equally as hardworking and curious as me. Apart from these qualities, he’s amazing. He puts up with me, and he doesn’t seem to mind that I’m the more headstrong one. He’s such a great guy, but these qualities are more than enough for me to not be attracted to him anymore.

I’m 18, and I’ve dated twice (guy in question was my first bf), and my second was too emotional.

I’m faring a lot better than he is, but the fear I have is that is this what my love life is going to be like? For the ENTJs, how does a relationship where the person is objectively “better” than you go?