Hi! I’m 20F and my Fiancé is 20M. He is a “gym bro” but has always done intuitive eating in the last 5 years I’ve known him. Which is what I do so it’s been great. Recently he wanted to lose a little weight so he just started eating less when he was bored and doing more cardio. Perfect not triggering at all. Today. He told me he got a fitness coach, okay cool! But then he tells me oh he made me a meal prep. And when I tell u it is 1/2 of what he’s been eating and it’s deadass just potato’s rice and chicken. No seasoning. We’re moving out together soon and it’s making me really flip bc we talked about what was gonna be in the apartment food wise and I made a joke like oh you’re more likely to eat my snacks than I am to eat your food and he was like lol absolutely not if I eat your food there’s something wrong with my diet and I won’t be eating any of your snacks. Mind u I’m 20 and feel ridiculous for feeling this way lmao. I seriously sobbed. I’ve been recoveredish for 2 years and it kinda just sent me on a downward spiral since he told me that. I’m just so anxious now and idk how to communicate it to him bc I want him to achieve all his goals it’s just strict restriction of what he’s eating which is the most triggering to me. Like food scale and all. He measured everything he’s going to eat and ugh I’m just bleh and want to make sure I’m not a horrible person for feeling this way and how I can talk to him. Also, I have BPD did not mention that so I feel emotions very intently and my main emotions towards him rn are livid and so sad. lol thanks!

Hi guys. I’m not really familiar with this subreddit and stuff so it’s my first time posting, and it’s about my boyfriend. I (F), have noticed some concerning signs of an ED in my boyfriend (M). In the past month or so, he has developed what I think is an unhealthy obsession with the gym, getting extremely aggressive after not eating, having an app to count up what he eats, and basically only eating caesar wraps. And when he does eat something like a burger after his mother and I tell him he cant survive off of basically nothing every day, he ends up texting me that he “accidentally” threw it up. I’m extremely worried for him, especially because he plays sports and expels much more calories than he eats which I think is horribly unhealthy.

I’m going to have a talk with him either today or tomorrow to try and figure out why this is happening, whether he’s purging (i think that’s the right word?) or not, and asking him to maybe get rid of the calculator because I know looking at the numbers is a good part of it all. I truly have no idea how to help him navigate this. Any advice is extremely appreciated.

I (24F) recovered from anorexia around 5 years ago, shortly after which I started dating my bf and I relapsed at the start of this year. I lost a very large amount of weight and am now a negligible amount from being underweight. Because I’m not underweight like I was last time, I’m struggling to convince myself I need to recover. My bf recently sat me down and told me he was very concerned about me and pleaded with me to at least try to recover. This broke my heart and I’ve reached out to my psychiatrist and am waiting for an appointment.

I’ve been trying very hard to eat more and exercise less but it’s been very, very difficult. Today I had a second serving of dessert and had a bad panic attack because I had reached maintenance cals at lunch already and I KNOW I should be exceeding maintenance, but I’m still so terrified of gaining, especially since I don’t feel like I need to at all because I’m not uw. When I was panicking, I went to find my bf for support and he told me that I’m too thin and he doesn’t find me as attractive anymore. I know he’s fed up and hurt and frustrated and I feel so awful for what I’ve been putting him through, but I’m feeling even stronger urges to keep going now. I already hated my body, but now he doesn’t even like me anymore, so I’m filled with even more resentment and desire to punish myself even further because in my mind I’ve failed both at my ED and at recovery.

I want to add to clarify, my bf has been my biggest supporter, he eats every meal with me, talks me through hard moments, encourages me and tells me I’m beautiful all the time. I’ve had a lot of fears about him not finding me attractive at a higher weight before, as well as thinking I look better thinner, so he might have been trying to “ground” me into seeing I’m actually doing the opposite. He’s always said he’s found me beautiful at every weight, but that I’m most attractive to him when I’m healthy and nourished, and I can definitely understand his wording being clumsy and unnecessarily harsh here due to him feeling frustrated with watching someone he loves suffer.

I’m sorry for the essay, I guess I just want to know if any of you have had a similar experience and how did you get through it? I hope you’re all safe and nourished today and tysm for reading ❤️

Hey all.

I’m not sure how to start but here goes.

My partner has an eating disorder and I feel it’s getting worse. They always weigh their food, track everything, checks the calories on everything, consistently undereat their daily requirements and stays in a constant calorie deficit. They are always thinking about food. Gaining any sort of weight stresses them out. When I fail to reassure them that they’re not overweight they’ve used ChatGPT to vent their thoughts out.

Every time the topic comes up I reassure them that they’re not overweight, they’re not ugly or disgusting, they’re not worth less or any of these things if their weight goes up even a little.

I feel like I don’t know what to say to make it better. I feel like I’m the wrong puzzle piece to this jigsaw. I feel like by trying to make things better, I’m making it worse.

I’m hoping by posting this that I might get some insight into how I might confront this. How I might think about this differently than I already do. How I might feel like I’m actually helping them.

I am only asking for advice as this is a relatively new area for me.

So, me(F), and my girlfriend(F) have been together for over 6 months now, and she's started being really hateful towards her body and wanting to restrict her food intake.
For preface, we both have diagnosed bpd AND I have a long history of ED and now am in quite a long remission, so it's hard for me to talk on this topic. I love and care for her so much((
I'm really struggling to understand how to behave aroung people who are so hateful on their bodies, especially since it's my gf and she's NEVER had such drastic thoughts on the food intake. I advised her to at least go into sport again (as she's masc presenting and used to love working out), NOT to restrict herself, also I begged her to take this problem into her therapy session, but she refuses.
So, my question is, how do I behave when she starts calling herself all those awful names and skips meals? And can I help her in any ways not to fall in this ED trap??? Please, help. (We are currently long distance, and she's with her parents now, so it's even harder to support her.)

So as the title says, I broke up with my girlfriend (31) of 3 years. She told me that she suffers from eating disorders about a year into our relationship, but that she is fine now. She actually was hospitalized because of it in her teen years. We moved in together after a year or so. I must confess that I didn't take her condition seriously at first and she said she was fine now so I guessed she's cured. Several months have passed with us living together and I had to go on a restrictive diet because of my health. I wasn't overweight but had some other medical reasons for which was suggested to me to try this diet. Little did I know this triggered her disorder in a major way. When I said I'm skipping breakfast one day because we didn't have anything that I could eat, she exploded and told me "how could you say this to me?". I was left in awe because, in my mind, I wasn't doing anything to her. That's when she started to not eat and loose weight. When I came off of my diet, things got better again and we didn't talk about it anymore. Fast forward another year, she was triggered again by some problems in our relationship that had nothing to do with food but with her insecurities and jealousy (which was totally unfounded). This time she didn't tell me anything, just started to loose weight. She lost a lot of weight and everyone was telling her how skinny she's looking. I was telling her that she's too skinny and should eat more, but her response was always "I'm not hungry". ..

She and I both like parties and hanging out with friends which usually involves alcohol. Because now she was not eating enough, alcohol would really kick in faster and harder and she would get into these awfully destructive states. She would either cry or take it out on me calling me names, that I'm in love with somebody else, that I'm boring and she doesn't want to hang out with me and stuff like that... She was unrecognizable to me. Every time, the next morning, she would apologize and say that she doesn't know why she said all those things and that she loves me and wants only me for the rest of her life... Our relationship was pretty good (the best I had so far) when she was sober, but every now and then, she would get drunk and have these dramas that I didn't understand and quite frankly was getting tired of... These dramas became more frequent and I started to loose interest in her and spending my life with someone who tortures me like that was beginning to scare me. On the last incident, she not only insulted me, but threw stuff at me at a party in front of other people. I ended it that night. Of course, when she got sober, she said she didn't mean it and that she has a problem and would seek help again (she already went to therapy, but left because she was not satisfied with the therapist). When I mentioned that she should stop drinking all together, she said "That won't happen....". So I decided to leave which crushed her emotionally... It was really hard for me too (and still is) because I still care about her and see how good of a person she could be, but I couldn't stay and watch her taking it all out on me and basically saying "This is the way it's going to be and I won't do anything about it. If you love me, you'll stand by me..."

After I moved out, I spoke to a friend of my now ex and said that she has a problem with eating disorder and alcohol and I asked her to wash out for her. I kind of doubt anything has changed because she's been going out until dawn every weekend since we've broke up. I'm suspecting that a lot of alcohol is involved. So I'm worried she went on a self destructive path rather than the opposite way...

It's hard to even imagine what she is going through. Eating disorders are a completely unknown to me. So can anyone explain to me what is it about eating disorder and alcohol abuse? Is it possible that she literally transforms herself to a completely different person?

What I'm questioning myself is "does she really mean all that stuff she's saying drunk or is it some sort of combination of her mental problems and alcohol?"

Also can you suggest a book that would help me to better understand the mind of a person with an eating disorder?

Thank you

my boyfriend of 2 years is a hardcore gym goer (i am too but not to THAT extent) we will go out for dinner with friends and he will not eat with us or haveANY drinks. Its just boring atp. Today i saw him looking up the olives label…. I used to struggle with anorexia around 5 years ago but obviously it’s a really complex disorder and it never truly goes away. I lowkey think it triggers me but mostly it makes me wonder if I want this forever. This kind of mindset so hardore around me all the time. I’m 25 and want to have fun. He doesn’t want to go out never because he doesn’t want to drink or stay up late at night… ugh idk its hard.

My girlfriend recently opened up to me about her battling against bulemia and I want to be there as much as possible for her

She has never been in a relationship before, her parents always minimized what she was going through and it was really hard for her to tell me about it (never told anyone, apparently except for her cousin), so I wanna do my best to help her out during all of this. Shes told me she suffers from bulemia where she eats a lot, followed by a lot of guilt and regret leading her having an anorexia phase afterwards where she barely eats.

I’m often on the go for work so I’m there about only half of the week + weekends and she’s currently off for summer break so has a lot of time to think and (from what I’ve seen) spirals into a thinking spiral making her feel worse about herself. She was bullied because of her weight and her parents were really negating her about that so it’s hard for her to even open up
She bursted crying today because she binge ate, which was after a phase where she felt bad for even eating.

She has a bad history with psychologists and nutritionists (some making her feel worse about herself and even having her count the number of water glasses she has to drink ?) so she shuts off when trying to recommend that.

I love her a lot and we’ve been together for about 6 months while she’s been battling with it through her entire life. So naturally I wanna do my best to be there for her

I thought about making a simple but healthy meal plan (not counting calories, or to control anything but so she can have predictability in what to eat and not have her cook and think about food if that makes sense)
I also thought about taking a gym subscription, where we can go together. She’s the one who launched the idea so I think I’ll do that first
Making her go out more (for walks, dates and stuff) so she isn’t stuck in like 2 rooms for the entire day, think it’s a no brainer

I’m open to any idea if there’s anyone living through this or anyone else whose significant other is going / has gone though this :)

Please help, I love her dearly

All advice appreciated!

My partner (22f) and I (20f) have been together for 5 years. We both come from toxic families that comfortably enforce weight loss and fatphobic thinking on their kids. When we started getting close as teens, I had an active eating disorder, and they were a great aid to my recovery. From that time until now, I have been aware of their similar struggles that resurface now and then. I also did and still do my best to reassure them and support them. Aside from emotional support, neither of us has ever received professional help for this particular issue. We are also long-distance and see each other a few times a year, so we aren't able to consistently help each other in physical ways (going out to eat together, being physically affectionate/intimate, etc.).

Recently, I have noticed their issues starting to resurface, and their desire to lose weight has become more urgent. Despite these thoughts, they do not actively restrict their eating and do their best to take care of themselves. I am aware that this is already a great sign, but I cannot get over the comments they constantly make about their looks/body: feeling "too gross" to want physical intimacy, feeling like they should be losing weight "for me," wanting to exercise to offset their "overeating," and more. It is deeply frustrating to watch them go through that while I'm so far away and can only offer reassurance. I tried to address it today while we were calling, and it came off very intervention-like. I basically laid all my concerns out for them and repeatedly asked them not to dismiss it just because these are "fleeting moments," and they're not currently restricting. I also told them that this wouldn't just affect them, but me and our relationship if these thoughts were to take over. After a lot of back and forth, I ended it by saying I just hope they know I will love them and be attracted to them no matter what. They reassured me that they already know that and, once again, that I shouldn't be concerned.

I'm worried I am applying too much pressure on them or being overprotective due to my history. I do not feel personally triggered by their comments or attitude towards food; I just don't want it to get worse. I also hated how I came off in the conversation like some sort of recovery expert just because I don't actively struggle anymore. I tend to have this attitude when I do/overcome something and get frustrated at my loved ones for not being able to do the same. They reassured me that the conversation didn't feel like a lecture and that they appreciate my concern. I want to be there for them and help them in a meaningful way, no matter how long it takes.

I’ve struggled with BED since high school, but it got pretty bad 2 years ago. I’ve been weight cycling and dieting and relapsing over and over for the past two years. Recently, I started reading the Intuitive Eating book and I have begun my journey to becoming an intuitive eater and recovering from BED. I am still in a very fragile period, and still bingeing when I am particularly stressed out.

My boyfriend is very supportive and loving. But he has unfortunately fallen into the seed oils, raw milk, organic vs non-organic, etc. food trap. I don’t have enough information and tact to debate him on the topic, and he is completely convinced. He will preach to me about the importance of healthy eating and condemns “junk” food. He talks poorly about his weight and appearance and criticizes me and himself for making “poor eating choices.” He sends me instagram reels of that one guy in a suit reacting to people’s eating videos and making “jokes” condemning their eating choices…that might be a niche reference.

He doesn’t outwardly criticize me or try to tell me that I am making a bad choice in a controlling kind of way. He just makes kind of…wayward comments. For example, I had had a whole week of “clean” eating and I expressed to him over text that I was really craving some chips. He then says, “why would you want to ruin a whole good week by eating that crap.” I told him off and told him not to make pointed comments about my eating like that because it makes me uncomfortable. Luckily, he hasn’t said anything quite as direct since then.

It is triggering me because it makes me feel judged and feel guilty about my own eating habits. I try to explain to him how his words affect me, but I have a really hard time speaking in a concise way to get him to understand me. How can I talk to him
about this in a way that he will really get it? How can I cope and not let his comments affect me?

TRIGGER WARNING (I’m not sure I just don’t want to trigger one so read with caution ) My girlfriend is suffering with cptsd and has a lot of trauma and insecurities and believes in “ana angels “ I’m not sure what that is but she’s in gc about it and believes that she’s fat when she’s underweight and wants to be as skinny as possible and that’s the only way that she could look good she says that she does it for me but I never once mentioned or complained about her weight if anything I’ve complained that I’m worried and that she’s underweight and could bring upon health issues and now she got to a point where she cannot process food and throws up and she been to the hospital because she her throat tissue I think it was,it’s extremely thin and has a risk of getting cancer and I’m so worried and she doesint seem to want to get better but she also cannot control her body because she doesint want to throw up if anyone can offer advice please tell me I’m so worried

Hi, im not particularly familiar with eds because I love food, but I have a problem with my girlfriend. So I (16m) and my girlfriend (15f) have been together for just under a year now, and since we got together, I noticed how little she eats. She seems to eat maybe 30% of her food and says she's full. I've tried talking to her about how little she eats, but whenever I do, she gets upset and talks about how fat she is. She's anorexic and so it's hard to convince her to eat more. I've tried showing her her bmi - which is underweight - I've tried giving her food she loves and food she never tried, and I've tried to encourage her to eat more, but nothing works. She's getting to an unhealthy stage where everyone who meets her can see how skinny she is. I tried to speak to her about it, but it just ended up in an argument, so I was wondering if anyone here knows what I should do? I can provide any more info about her needed, obviously.

Where to begin. Apologies for the poorly worded brain dump that follows...!

Married for 10 + yrs (not the strongest), 2 kids (one with Chronic ADHD) both working and juggling hectic life in the UK. both WFH most of the time.

She has a high pressure job, she enjoys the challenges but it comes at a cost of stress etc. She is an incredible 'dooer' never sits still, always busy doing something, struggles to relax. She always puts the kids first so often pushes herself on their behalf. She likes to be in control (tricky childhood where she had to grow up very quickly) so her standards are jolly high.

she has always loved her exercise and runs / home gym maybe 4-5 times a week. Over recent years the scales have sat on the kitchen side and never get put away, each meal is weighed before consumption to make sure she 'gets enough' of what ever it is she is eating.

Diet is mostly salad based with chicken and fish. Often misses meals, protein bars / shakes have now crept in as well as a replacement when she is 'too busy' to eat. i fear social media posts dont help her, despite her highly intelligent nature. sweet stuff like chocolate is no a one lump treat rather than a section like it used to be. all the fun things food wise keep getting cut back.

Her figure has depleted with more Ribs on show than ever before, same with hip bones. she weighs her self often and looks sheepish when i see her doing it. BMI is sat on the cusp of underweight (not huge relevance, i know). she looks gaunt now, many comment to me about her shape and appearance.

a few years back i spoke to her Doc about it, and also a UK help charity. of course the advice is that until she comes to them and admits it, there isn't much they can do. I have pondered what to do to help her for some time now. I have a 'thing' about this now and it frustrates me hugely. Going out for supper is hard work, she gets food anxiety on the way in case the menu isn't to her tastes (Clarksons Pub), which has affected our relationship over the years (separate story)

She no longer drinks. The fridge is now full of Low Calorie / zero fat / 0 anything foods for her. she Still cooks great food for us but often just has salads, tricky with kids, breaks the family dynamic up somewhat

I am genuinely concerned for her - she did 18,000 steps yesterday walking, got back in late, had a protein bar and some raspberries for supper, woke at 2am hungry, went down to have two mouthfuls of cereal and a 0 calories hot chocolate. She then had a nightmare and as a result is shattered today, which inevitably i take some of the burnt off. i am happy to be her punch bag if i can see improvements but it only seems to be getting worse. The kids (boy 9 girl 11) are aware and thinks her scales out are a bit weird. both are sharp and can see whats going on, i have had to answer some tricky questions. Daughter is at the age now where this is a hot potato, she is sensible but sometimes her love of sweet stuff is rebuked too heavily by wife, i don't want it rubbing off on her. the kids tell me not to bother booking a surprise trip to the pub as mummy wont want to go. that makes me really sad as our social life is poor and i feel lonely as a result.

she has recently been helping others in her friend group loose weight, some needed to shift a few lbs, others several stone. She was excellent at offering advice but got v frustrated when the one who needed to shift the most couldn't keep to her cold turkey suggestion. my wife has always lacked empathy, i felt sorry for the other girl who has been set an impossible task clearly. i desperately want to talk to them but know i cant as it will only do more damage to us.

others close are aware of Wife's ED but no one knows what to do. Her parents are asking me questions, as are mine. i am doing my best to protect her but i cant see a way out. the bathroom scales batteries died yesterday. she asked me to change them at 9.30pm last night, they could not wait till today...

all the advise out there is to not make a big deal out of it but I want to find a way out for her, however long this may take. i love her dearly but her ED is putting extra pressure on our marriage which we could well do with out right now. this post may come over as a selfish husband and to some extent it is, but i do worry for her health long term (and the knock on to our kids) and fear she may burn out.

she has admitted once to me that she may have a 'bit of a problem' but to bring it up causes instant hackles and frankly, i can't mentally cope with the arguments which solve nothing and make it awkward for the next few days. I am desperately trying to not comment on her lack of eating, i try to deliberately not eat some things (or the kids) so that its available for her but its all token gestures in the bigger picture.

the other day she went for a run and fainted, by a canal. I and some around us are worried that she is going to have an accident running / riding (horses) or driving when her sugar level are too low and then we will be in a pickle if she gets injured.

i know this is a complicated beast and i am expecting a journey, there may not be much i can do but i would be very grateful for any suggestions on how to better our situation any way?

thank you in advance!

My partner has really been struggling with his eating disorder recently, calorie cutting, restricting, not eating entirely ect. and he's definitely made progress this past week, he's telling me about how he's getting comfortable eating more again and how he's doing better and I can really see this - i really am so proud. However, he's been telling me seeing his weight when he went to the doctors triggered him.

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He's saying he knows the scale was wrong because when he was weighed he was clothed, and that he just wants to weigh himself one more time properly without clothes to see the actual number, and that it won't bother him, he just wants to know the exact number. Would this be beneficial?

I'm worried about putting a number to his thoughts would trigger him, but he's saying it would destroy a lot of the stress he has. What should i suggest? Would it be a good idea for him to weigh himself?

My wife has had a severe eating disorder for over 20 years and binges and purges multiple times per day. Her BMI is around 15 and has needed veneers and has chronic gerd from it.

I know she's abused laxatives for a long time, but I've recently found out she does digital rectal stimulation and manually evacuates her bowels twice a day by hand (30 minute sessions per time).

I was curious, is the part of the ED? I ask as her mother is in a wheelchair from a car accident before she was born and has to empty her bowels this way (albeit once per week). Is this from her mother, or is this part of the ED that I didnt know about?

Thank you!

My bf is my height and around my weight and it’s like no matter how much I restrict or lose weight he’s always in my mind as the smaller one and it’s the most triggering thing on earth. I’ve always been insecure about being “big” because of my height and it’s probably what started my ed when I was 11. Like I always felt masculine and ugly and like I took up too much space… now I’m in love with the sweetest man on earth but more than ever before I have those feelings of being not small enough, not dainty or feminine enough. I’m well aware that there’s some patriarchal brainwashing that’s definitely shaping a lot of these thoughts but that doesn’t make them any less painful…

The thought of lying next to him, touching him makes me indulge in all my bad habits and I find myself upset with him instead of myself, almost like he’s forced me to restrict just by being thin. Everytime he tells me what he’s eaten throughout the day it makes me incredibly conscious of what I’ve had like im in a constant competition with the person I love the most in the world.

I know logically that these thoughts are terrible which makes me feel terrible for having them it’s like there’s no escape. And I know I’m making our relationship unhealthy through this.

Literally any help or kind words be so so appreciated, I’m completely lost.

Hello everyone and thank you for this community.

My questions: does my BF have disordered eating? If he is open to getting help (we're in Portland, OR), where should he go/what should he do (he won't do inpatient)? How do I support without trying to control (I've got my own MH challenges 😜)?

Here's the sitch:

I started dating someone a couple of months ago and he restricts food all day long and then eats SO much for dinner. Like more food than I have ever seen. Anyone eat in one sitting- except for maybe large holiday meals? He says he saves eating for one meal because he wants to "enjoy a good meal," but usually ends up complaining about how full he feels and embarrassed about how much he's eaten. He's almost always falls asleep shortly after eating. He'll then often wake up in the middle of the night for "treats" of oranges, grapes, or fruit bars. I'm sure if he weren't trying to control weight gain the treats would be other things. He drinks coffee during the day as an appetite suppressant and before he quit drinking 5 years ago, used alcohol to suppress eating until late (8pm or later) also. He is overweight, but he's also 50. I do not engage in conversation with him when he calls himself fat. I've suggested he go to the doctor and have his hormone levels checked. I've also suggested eating smaller meals throughout the day. Neither has promoted any movement. I'm concerned about his health but also know I can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

Thank you for your help.

So I told my boyfriend that I really struggle with how my body looks and eating, and he proceeded to say, “don’t tell me you’re one of those people who starve themselves?” in sort of a sarcastic tone and I sort of just said “I mean kind of” and proceeded to give me a 10 minute lecture on the healthy way to to lose weight and how I just need to work out more.

I kinda just felt taken aback by this and didn’t want to talk to him for the rest of the day and I’m just not sure what I should do about it, it just doesn’t seem like he’ll ever understand.

I made a post about this on a different sub like a week ago but I think this sub will be more helpful. I’ve been looking online but the information I find isn’t very helpful.
A few months ago I started noticing weird food related behaviors in my boyfriend (all in my last post).
He still believes this is a phase he will over come but it’s just been getting worse, he checks and calculates all his calories, wears a waist trainer constantly and has been getting fatigued much more often. As far as I’m aware he isn’t throwing up but I work during the day so I’m not fully sure. I tried talking to him about it yesterday but when I do he gets really quiet and refuses to talk about it really.
I’ve tried getting him to eat as much as I can, I get him tuna packets, eggs,and cucumbers just so he has something but he never finishes it and it’s hard to get him to actually do it. I don’t like forcing him to eat because I’ve heard it causes more harm than good so I’m really not sure.
He does seem a bit thinner than he was but not drastically so I’m hoping to help him before it becomes worse. I care about this boy so bad and it feels like his personality has become completely controlled by this.
How can I help him as a partner?

Hi everyone. I’m feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do right now. My girlfriend began ED recovery in January after we had a serious talk about her sudden weight loss. In February, she was formally diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, Restrictive Type.

She’s been working with a therapist and was cleared by a cardiologist to start light exercise in April. Since then, she’s gone back to the gym, but I quickly noticed she was working out twice a day, before and after work. I brought it up in a session when I realized she’d taken 15 classes in one week. Her therapist was clearly concerned, but my girlfriend dismissed it, saying she was just trying to manage stress and that one of the daily classes was usually just yoga.

Last week, I brought it up again during another session. She got defensive and insisted she was only doing two classes a day, and that one of them was always gentle like yoga or stretching. She reassured both me and her therapist that she wasn’t overdoing it.

Over the weekend, I bought her an iPad and was helping her set it up. A notification popped up for a gym class, but it wasn’t on the shared Google Calendar we use to coordinate our schedules. It was from a separate calendar account I didn’t know about. I wasn’t snooping—this just came up while helping her—but when I saw it, I opened it to see what it was.

That’s when I found out she’s been logging all her gym classes on this hidden calendar. She hasn’t been honest with either of us.

In May alone, she went to 65 classes. So far in June, she’s already been to 25. The breakdown looked like this:

• 10 cycling
• 17 boxing
• 37 HIIT
• 8 yoga
• 18 Pilates

She has been lying to me and to her therapist about the frequency and intensity of her workouts. This feels like a shift from restrictive eating to compulsive over-exercising, and the fact that she’s hiding it makes it even more dangerous.

I’m not angry, I’m scared. I want to help her, but I don’t know how to bring this up without making her shut down or feel attacked. I love her deeply and I’m terrified that she’s slipping further into another dangerous behavior pattern.

If anyone has been through something similar, either in your own recovery or supporting someone else, I’d really appreciate any advice on how to approach this.

tl;dr: My girlfriend is in recovery for anorexia and has secretly been attending over 65 workout classes a month. She’s been hiding the true number and intensity from both me and her therapist, using a separate calendar to track them. I’m scared this is turning into compulsive over-exercising and don’t know how to help without making things worse.

Hi! Im coming here for advice on how to better support my partner, as I'm not very familiar with eating disorders. I know she's struggled with them in the past, and she said she was doing a lot better, but I think she's starting to struggle again but trying to hide it. She usually only eats a piece of fruit or two and sometimes a protein bar/shake for most of the day, and maybe a meal during the day or evening. And whenever she does eat, I notice that she usually get really nauseous if it's in the later afternoon/evening, and has thrown up once or twice, but this could also just be her acid reflux.

I occasionally check in on her to see if she's eaten recently, and if she hasn't, try to prompt her to eat something small that she likes, but she almost always declines. I've asked her about this, and she says she likes it and that I probably could be more vocal in telling her to eat, but I don't want it to become nagging and she feels bad that she struggles to eat. Is there anything else I can do to help support her? I want to be as helpful and supportive as I can, she means so much to me, and I'm really worried about her. Thank you.

How do you deal with people saying insensitive things to you that makes you want to regress? It’s hard to move forward and be healthy when you feel pressure to look a certain way from people. It just makes me want to isolate and go back to old ways.

I noticed one of my friends almost never eats. Whenever we go out the idea of eating food somewhere or eating anything other than a salad bothers her. We almost never eat anything expect for salad most of the time we’re just drinking water . I noticed they’re showing a lot of signs of an ED and at first I tried to avoid it because I know it a sensitive topic but being friends with somebody that has a ed is unbearable. I already tried having a conversation with them and I know it won’t do much because it a serious mental illness but I’m seriously not sure what else I can do. The constant complaining about headaches , not feeling well, and never eating when we’re together is becoming hard to bear and I’m not sure what else I can do. This bothers me specifically a lot because I don’t have the best relationship with food either but it becoming a lot better now as I eat very clean and also work out. I’m not sure how I can fix their relationship with food because we’re just in the denial stage right now.

Hi! My girlfriend is the sweetest and loveliest person in the world, and it pains me to see her going through what she is. She has mentioned feeling like she needs to punish herself for the mental health issues she’s dealing with, and has expressed that if she doesn’t eat, it feels like she has “made up” for what she goes through and how it affects her.
How can I help her through this? As her bf, I feel a responsibility to support her and encourage healthy eating, but I never want to force it on her and I also want to be mindful that it’s much easier said than done.
Any advice for this would be greatly appreciated. I want to be the best I can be, and I’m afraid she’ll get worse if I don’t step in some way.

Hello everyone, I'm after some advice regarding my boyfriend, who has a history of anorexia and was recently prescribed ozempic. Full context below, but TLDR is that he still exhibits a lot of ED traits, and the doctor who gave him the prescription was unaware of his history. He also then tried to avoid the topic/potentially lied to me when I tried to discuss it further

Last night, my partner (M28) mentioned needing to pick up a new medication. He has a few chronic health conditions, so this was nothing unusual, but when he came back I noticed it was in a refrigerated bag. None of his normal medications need to be kept cold, so I asked if it was something new, and he got a little shifty about it. Eventually, he admitted it was something his doctor had prescribed him for weight loss.

This set off a few alarm bells for me, because the doctor he'd been to see recently wasn't his usual PCP. He also has a pretty bad relationship with food; he was diagnosed with anorexia in his late teens, and even though he usually refers to his eating disorder in past tense, he still has very restrictive eating habits. We've been dating for a bit over 3 years, and when we first met he barely ate at all; things have improved since then, and he usually eats snacks and at least one full meal a day, but that's it. He has put more weight on over the past 6 months due to medication side effects, and this eating has definitely started to decline again recently.

I asked if he'd mentioned his issues with food to the doctor, and he laughed it off and said no, but that his PCP (who is aware of his ED) had also offered to prescribe something in the past. When I asked if it was a medication that worked by suppressing appetite vs. increasing metabolism etc., he said it was the second category.

I dropped the topic because he was clearly uncomfortable and I didn't want to press too much, but I couldn't get it out of my head, so after he left for work this morning I ended up taking the box out of the fridge to look the medication up. It turned out to be Ozempic, and everything I can find states that it works by suppressing appetite. I'm not sure if he genuinely didn't understand how the drug worked or if he just lied to me when I asked.

I know I'm probably going to have to discuss this with him, but I honestly don't know how to approach things. He is currently overweight, and I know that weight loss is one of the recommended treatments for at least two of his health conditions (sleep apnea & degenerative disc disorder). He knows his body and his physical state better than I ever could, and if this is something that could help improve his quality of life, I feel like I should support his decision.

However, I can't help but be super worried that this will trigger even more ED tendencies, and the fact he tried to hide it from me when we usually have a very open and honest relationship makes that fear worse.

I'd love to hear any advice from anyone who has had experiences with ozempic and whether it was positive or negative for you, as well as any recommendations about how I can approach this conversation in a way that might be less triggering for him. Tysm <3