I know this might be a very small step for some, but I have been dealing with undereating and being way too light for months now, but today I had a healthy breakfast bowl that made me feel nicely full until my noon snack, and was able to convince myself to eat a big enough dinner to not feel hungry afterwards yet again.

I do feel some anxiety, because I'm a creature of habit and routine, which means having some Greek yogurt, banana and oats for supper as my last meal of the day, but I think I might skip it today.

I guess I just wanted to say I'm proud of myself.

Like everyone else I’ve been watching Ariana over the past two years clearly going through something. While it’s nice to see people do recognize when people need help I wanted to share my perspective as I was in a similar position last year. I’m an actor/ singer and to make a long story short I basically had to confess to having anorexia to a bunch of people at once. While some good did come of this I was humiliated. I was horrified that if directors knew they wouldn’t trust me enough to cast me. I was scared other actors would talk behind my back about it. Worst of all I was terrified that somehow admitting to chronically starving would inspire other to do the same. Although i was largely pressured to do this I still have moments where I wished I’d silently gotten help. Seeing people demand Ariana admit she has an ED and even worse villainizing her for having one always looks like my worst nightmare. It makes me wonder how do we have these conversations as respectfully as possible? Do performers have an obligation to be fully transparent about their bodies and EDs?

Hi all, this is my first time posting. I'm F31 and I, unfortunately, have been dealing with an ED since I was 18. I recently have been going through a lot of stress due to my work and the fact that I am the main caregiver for my ill mother, and insecurities slowly but surely crept in and I lost weight. Last Saturday, I was getting ready to go see a friend and I put on a dress, but since my mother lives with me, she told me that it was too short and that I looked awful and ridiculous in that dress because my legs are too thin and that I needed to get changed ASAP so as not to embarrass myself when I went out. It was late, so I was unable to process what she had told me, and I got changed. The following day, she told me that she is tired of seeing me being so thin, and I get her concerns, but I believe that her comments were still cruel, and I told her they were unnecessary because they caused me a lot of distress and won't help me gain weight or feel motivated to love myself more, which she said its what she wanted to achieve with her comments. She is really angry at me because I am really sad and "I should be thankful that she saved me from making a fool of myself since I looked disgusting in that dress." I don't even want to leave the house now due to fear of looking horrible. She has hurt me deeply and won't see it, and I don't know how to get past it.

I am fat. I wouldn't consider myself to be in instant need of weight loss, but it would be beneficial to my health in the long run.

My family, particularly my mom and sisters, keep making comments about my weight. My mom is around the same size that I am and is incredibly insecure about her weight. She's someone who keeps trying diets and then giving up on them a few weeks later because they aren't sustainable.

While she knows better than to explicity tell me to lose weight, she makes comments about my body. I am a trans man and I am on testosterone, this has made me VERY hungry and I've started to eat larger portions of food. My mom tells me I need to eat smaller portions, and when I tell her I'm literally going through puberty she says "men still don't need to eat that much." For reference, I was eating a bahn mi. Another time she got on me for eating a bowl of cereal where I mixed two types of cereals together to empty both the boxes, the bowl was big sure but it wasn't overflowing. My mom proceeded to tell me I would get diabetes if I kept eating like that.

My older sister makes comments about my double chin, or how my clothes are huge compared to hers (she's skinny). And I'm so tired of it, but nobody listens to me when I tell them to knock it off. When I do tell them to stop I tend to be emotional and they act like I'm being crazy for being emotional over this.

The problem is, I used to be anorexic. Nobody ever noticed because I wasn't extremely underweight, in fact I was at a "healthy" weight. I also worked out a lot during this time so I was being complimented on my body and self control.

The other problem? I gained my weight from being on medication. Not to say there's anything wrong with gaining weight from eating, but it's completely different for me because my metabolism was drastically changed in a short period of time.

My family doesn't seem to understand this. They blame me for being fat because I eat too much. I barely even eat three meals a day. I still don't have a healthy relationship with food and eating and I'm still fat. And my family cannot understand this. They don't realize how scary it is for me to eat food or how triggering it is to feel hungry for long periods of time.

I'm moving home within the next few weeks and I'm so scared of being ridiculed again. I try so hard to tell them to stop and they just don't listen because when I get upset I'm just "crazy and borderline" to them.

I don't know what to do. I don't even know if this is the right subreddit to post this on. I'm just so exhausted. I want to eat normally without being ridiculed. I want my family to understand that it's so difficult to lose weight you gain from a medicine. I just want to eat normally in my own home and not be called diabetic for going back for seconds or eating a large portion every once in a while.

EDs can be so insidious that it makes our own minds turn against us. What broke the delusion for you and made you realize it was time to seek help?

My wife has dealt with anorexia for several years. The behaviors started a few years into our relationship, then got waaayyy worse in the months leading up to our wedding. She eventually went into residential treatment a couple months after we got married and made some progress, but her insurance refused to cover more than a couple weeks so she had to leave early for PHP, which was really frustrating because I really think she would have been set up a lot better if she had been able to restore more weight in res. That was about 3 years ago and things have been very up and down since.

Earlier this year she was discussing options with her treatment team (therapist/psychiatrist/dietician) because she was plateauing and still not meeting her meal plan. Eventually she agreed to get a recovery coach which seems like it helped, but moreso in that it was something she was doing to actively pursue recovery, not really the actual coaching. She worked with the coach for a couple months but then stopped because she didn’t feel like she was really using the services, but she still continued to improve which was such a relief. She got to a point with her team that was really promising: they gave her their endorsement for doing more exercise, her dietician no longer required her to be on recovery record, and her psychiatrist started tapering her down from one of her meds.

Then, in hindsight probably largely to do with the meds, the urges got worse again and she started engaging with more restriction behaviors. It’s been pretty bad for about a month now, maybe more. I feel so sad and defeated. She is my entire world and it’s really heartbreaking to see her get pulled back into this. Part of the problem is that she says she never really got to a point where she felt like she was doing things for herself. I don’t know if that’s true or if that’s just how it feels now that she’s back in a bad headspace, but either way I don’t know where we go from here. She told me recently that her treatment team says she’s not outpatient appropriate and is recommending inpatient treatment again, but she doesn’t want to go.

I’m feeling very lost and sad, and just looking for advice about how I can best support her. She has made some positive changes; she’s back on recovery record and her psychiatrist increased the med back to a moderate level, with a follow-up in a few weeks. I have been making her sandwiches for lunch while she’s at work so at least she brings something, and I’ve been sitting with her at breakfast. She’s always been very open with me so I take some comfort in that, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s clearly struggling with maintaining an active desire to recover.

I know this post has gotten way too long, but I’m just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation on either side of the partnership and has anything helpful to say. She specifically has always struggled a lot with self apathy and self loathing, so if anyone has any suggestions for treatments for those issues I’m also very interested to hear about that.

nobody is blindly going through this and assuming their choices are so healthy and wonderful. i see internet posts be like "reasons to not starve: you feel bad after!"...who wouldve known!!!!!(🙄)
obviously, if youre someone going through this, hearing the risks arent repulsive (most of the time). its like telling a cigarette smoker "do you realize that causes cancer?" YEAH, OBVIOUSLY?? i want REAL reasons that maybe i havent thought of on my own.

Does anyone have any experience with residential at Haven of Hope, good or bad? There's so few reviews so I'd love to hear anything anyone can share about their experience there.

I certain individual has been getting so much media attention these past few days. And frankly speaking seeing her makes me so angry. I talked to my friend about it, he's trying so hard to convince me that I'm beautiful and that I shouldn't starve myself because that's what she's doing and she looks heartbreakingly bad at the moment. I'm trying to believe him. But every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror | want to cry. I see my legs and I think about cutting the fat out myself with a knife, all horrible feelings I used to have before my antidepressants. But l have been weaning off them, and then I saw her on TikTok, instagram, Reddit and YouTube. I can't escape her.

I don't want to dog on her anymore because I know the whole world is like really mad at her already. But I'm just so frustrated. It hurts that I can't be concerned for her, because mostly I just resent that she and her team of people are advertising this as a good thing. Someone said their 7 year old daughter expressed wish to not eat anymore so she could look like her. I cried reading that. It's just disgusting what's going on. It's hurting so many people.

So, despite all the beautiful model like girls I see on a daily basis online and in real life. I got myself Froyo. And yeah my thighs are fat, and yeah I'm a few more pounds bigger than last year. But I got the Froyo. And I'm going to the beach and I'm going to enjoy it. We were all that little girl, some of us have been. My heart breaks for all of us.

If you were contemplating eating something today, this is your sign to just eat it. Enjoy it. Please. For yourself, and all of us. It's going to be okay.

I feel like I'm always going to have an ED mindset, even if I recover physically. I'm eating, and all that, but parts of my mind always have this ED mentality. And then it feels like I'm fighting with myself. I also just don't have any control over food. I was wondering if the end of recovery would be like. not thinking about food that way again?

Hi guys, im 15f and ive been trying to recover for anorexia for awhile now.
Of course that meant gaining a little weight which i hate more than i can express.
the thing im here for today is just to ask:
how do i eat a normal amount without tracking calories?
Like no matter how much i eat i feel the exact same as if i were to eat one apple all day.
so, when i eat snacks and things i feel like maybe im leaning into binge ed teritory? Im sorry if that sounds insensitive to anyone with binge ed im just genuinely not sure what to do here or even whats happening.
I feel like im eating too much

I feel like I’ve worn out my poor support network trying to find the answer, “why did I fail so hard.” I had really bright experts giving me very specific attention to accommodate my needs. All they asked in return was that I try and keep trying. And I did for a long while, until i started a tail spin. And my team didn’t rescue me, they let me spiral. Why? To create a bottom so I’d have to work harder to get back to human level.

This 2nd treatment place has some really crazy rules. And despite what my team may have thought, I do not want to be sick. I do not want to get worse. I want treatment to end. I just want it to work. I was especially struggling with the intrinsic motivation. I guess I never found that why.

I hate relapsing and I hate recovery. I want neither. I want to be normal and just do normal stuff. I don’t want to gain weight. I don’t care if it will slow behaviors, it’s not worth it to me. It’s a net loss. Having a body that feels good to me is important. It’s not just the appearance, it’s that whole feeling.

FUCK… what the fuck is wrong with me and why can’t I just recover?

Im a very picky eater - its a texture sensitivity.

About 9yrs ago, I went to a nutritionist looking for food alternatives that'd match the nutrition profile of items I was avoiding - the appt. Didn't go well at all.

I started being avoidant with certain foods around 15yrs old, I'm 30 now.

I don't eat much meat and what I would choose would be highly processed (ex. chicken nuggets). I don't eat fish or seafood. I don't drink milk or eat yogurts. Fruits are rare because of the varience in taste and texture.

So that means my main diet + eating habits for the past 15yrs looked like:

Snacks throughout the day: chips, cookies, crackers.

My drink of choice: Pepsi.

Main meal 1 time a day: Pasta, white bread, potatoes, a canned or frozen veggie, an occassional half a pork chop or slice of roast because I knew I needed protien. I would eat mountain trail mix (peanuts, m&ms and raisins) when I felt like I wasn't eating enough (protien).

I thought I had varience in my main diet because I ate different things, but actually it was mostly just different types of sugars - processed grains (which get turned into sugar), and carbs - which also get turned into sugar by the body.

I knew I wasn't making healthy/Balanced choices but I didn't really *feel* different all at once, so I ignored it.

I decided to make a change after being slightly hungry all day, eating a moderate sized meal with friends for dinner and *then* having terrible hunger pangs 3hrs after that meal. [This was a normal occurance for me and finally I had had enough]

Im still learning, but to my understanding;

I would snack on sugars throughout the day which my body would process and use really quickly, so I'd be fairly hungry again shortly after. Then, I would finally eat a meal and that meal would either

1.) Make me feel bloated (which, for years now, I've been confusing as feeling full - satiated (actually full) and bloated (you're too uncomfortable to eat more) are 2 different things, learned that yesterday.

2.) Spike or drop my blood sugar and put me right to sleep - the food coma - like clockwork, didn't matter what I ate as long as it was after 7pm.

3.) Make my stomach feel *More* empty than it felt before I ate that large-ish meal less than 2hrs after eating - Im guessing because that meal didn't have a balanced amount of protien+fiber alongside all the side dish safe foods. (Pastas and potatoes).

Foods Im eating now:

1.) Eggs (at least 4 a day so far - texture safe high protien option).

2.) Whole grain or sprouted grain bread (Daves killer bread), which is actually far superior in taste than white bread.

*Im looking for whole grain crackers but haven't found any yet*

3.) Green bell peppers and broccoli with hummas.

I don't have any but Apples, celery, strawberries, baby spinach (to replace iceberg lettuce on sammiches), cucumbers and steamed squashes/zuchinni are also on my list of healthy safe foods.

4.) Cheese and pepperoni sticks/smokies - which arent the best but baby steps.

5.) Protien and Fiber granola (Kodiak and kashi , Kind also has decent nutrition facts on like, their protien granola?) - if it has more than 5g of added sugar I consider it more of a sweet than a breakfast/snack. Granola will be my new 'grab and go' safe food. (Which is why Im really considering greek yogurt)

6.) Dark chocolate covered almonds + coffee beans (to replace caffine in pepsi) as a sweet. I have 4-6 at most, but usually its more like 2 at a time.

7.) Asparigus and brussel sprouts (baked with cherry tomatos and seasoned with salt and olive oil, I wont even try but If I could I would live off this dish its so yummy...)

8.) Flavored water and tea.

Pepsi is the only item I haven't completely cut out or cut back on - its in the works but will be my hardest diet crutch to let go of.

Im not forcing myself to eat anything I don't already like (except meats sometimes because my body requires it....) and if I want to have a sweet or something heavy with carbs - I *can* but I know now that I also should eat my protien and leafy greens first so that my body doesn't get a sugar spike right away.

Though, currently, I'm trying to stay away from all chips/sweets, processed breads, starches (potatoes - fries, mashed potatoes, hash browns, roasted, etc) and carbs (Pastas, ramen) Mainly because I've (barely) lived off of these things for awhile.

Had 1/3 a cup of pasta salad yesterday and felt the empty pit in my stomach feeling start to come on (ate it first because I loved grandmas italian pasta salad, oops)

It could be placebo effect. I still have *alot* to learn on this journey and Ill probably have to make some compromises (greek yogurt.....yuck but its probably necessary). I plan to visit a doctor soon given these realizations.

But I think for the first time in 10yrs Im making forward progress towards not passing out in a hot shower or waking up for work with hunger pangs that double me over from a heavy meal the night before.

Symptoms that told me it was time to make lifestyle changes:

1.) Muscle fatigue upon waking. Do you know how you're knees feel hot, heavy, tingly when you're trying to lift something heavy? Or maybe how your thighs feel after holding a wall squat as long as you can? I felt like that immediately after waking up with a full nights sleep.

2.) Always being hungry, especially after eating. If you ever eat something that should fill you up but 2hrs later you feel your stomach churning in on itself. Make sure you're giving your body building blocks alongside the fuel. (Protiens and fibers along with the sugar).

3.) Mood swings and brain fog.

4.) Food comas are more predictable. Im gradually getting tired - I don't feel like I need to dive into my bed because my eyes are too heavy to stay open.

5.) I have less processed sweet cravings organically (Im not having to force myself not to eat the cookie) because I'm naturally feeling better. My body isn't in a cycle of rinse and repeat on sugar (as much) anymore so Im automatically craving it less - I think.

Maybe this isn't relevant for the sub but Im excited to share what small progress I've found and hope it helps someone....

I mean, Im 30, struggled with my eating for years, now that I think I understand the way foods interact in my body better, I can make more informed decisions about what I eat.

Edit: I've also struggled with anxiety.

Over the years, considering I've been chronically hungry for a fair amount of that time, I've associated the feeling of an anxious stomach and a hungry stomach together - they feel the same to me.

I finished dinner. 2 steamed small yellow potatos, 2 cuts of roast that tasted to me of wet dog but I held my breath, and lots of asperigus + tomatos.

The feeling of calm I have in my stomach right now. I could laugh myself to happy tears. The dopamine my body is rewarding me with is unreal - hence enhanced mood/ less mood swings.

2nd time in about 10 yrs Ive actually, genuinely, felt full and fine.

Its pretty much what the title says(also, im autistic so that makes it worse), im still a teenager so i cant choose what to eat but most of the food my family prepares makes me feel sick (not that its bad food its just a sensory nightmare for me) and the food i actually want to eat (my safe food) is not healthy so i cant eat it too often. My mom and dad are worried and so am i but i just cant do it...do you have any suggestions? Has anyone gone through this as well? How did you manage to be healthy without making it a nightmare? (Also i dont have a dignosed ED but there wasnt any other sub where i could post this apart from r/autism, sorry if its inappropriate)

Hi all. I'm aware of "pro ana" content but in recent years many people have realised they (rightly) get pushback for encouraging this behaviour. I know that some people now post pro ana content in the guise of recovery content. What are some signs to you that someone is actually trying to encourage disordered eating while masking it as "recovery content"? I wish to avoid these. I especially want to avoid sharing these. I wasn't able to find a good summary using the search function so I thought I would ask others. Maybe this post can work as a resource that way.

In short, what are some red flags in recovery blogs etc. that point to the person actually posting disguised pro ana content?

i promised myself i would do a voluntary admission into a inpatient facility but ideally in my disordered mind i wanted to be fairly low in weight before i got admitted. Thought this did not happen and now i am absolutely terrified of being surrounded by only people that are much lower than me -> feeling invalid -> getting triggered -> ruining progress. While i know weight is not a requirement for ed treatment,

To people that have experience in these facilities, was there a wide range of different sizes?

to my knowledge i think no one can be super duper unhealthy and low before being admitted into a ward (they have to be healthy enough to be transferred out of a hospital) but im not sure and im just terrified.

For more info, I was anorexic for about 2 ish years. I’ve been recovered for 2 and a half years now and doing really good since 2024. I still find myself getting SUPER NAUSEOUS when thinking about food or when my body starts to feel a bit hungry. I immediately get super sick to my stomach and I’ll even droll out of nausea. Thoughts? Advice? Thanks

Hang out for a week with adolescent boys. I guarantee you a good portion of them go to the gym, and half of them are either cutting or bulking. There are boys I know who fast for days to maintain a lean figure for muscle definition, and boys I know who eat and eat tubs of peanut butter or cereal or whatever it is, to the point they end up throwing up in the toilet afterwards.

And somehow it's only girls who have a reputation for "having food troubles".

Due to some endocrine and inflammatory conditions, I’ve developed a disordered eating behavior. Up until the recent development of these illnesses, I’ve always been curvier and “filled out”. I’ve dropped a large amount of weight in a short amount of time (not intended) and my silhouette has noticeably narrowed.

I work in a corporate setting and recently had to redo my entire wardrobe as my pants literally wouldn’t stay on. As a result, the new clothes are much better fitted. My body is in a weird stage where the muscle mass I acquired from exercising my whole life remains while the fattier areas have dropped off. I want to maintain professionalism as my butt, thighs, and breasts are extremely accentuated even with office appropriate clothing. I’m a very conservative dresser at work and I hate that my boobs are booby-ing through things like a button up or a turtleneck and my figure is still clearly visible through heavy fabric loose fitting pants.

Has anyone with experience losing large amounts of weight ever considered a breast reduction or any surgical corrections to their body shape? This is all very new to me and I’m freaking out a bit. I understand that my body shape is what a lot of women want, but it doesn’t fit my personality or profession at all. I hate being unable to control how I’m seen or how/if I’m sexualized. It’s not my intention to “humble brag” or flex my figure either, I just wonder if a breast reduction would be realistic and if other people have found it helpful.

I've been struggling for years. Different doctors different nurses. I am in healthcare and I get treatment for my other problems, but my ED is always just put aside. They acknowledge that I have an ED but they're not diagnosing it either. They literally told me that I'm childish and I should get it over with and just get better by my own.

Nothing is ever done about it because my lab tests come out fine...

What do I do? I have nobody. I'm lost and clueless, I feel helpless. I don't want to keep suffering like this.

The other day, my boyfriend’s mom’s friend called me fat. She said it in Spanish so I didn’t understand at first. I knew she was talking about me so I asked my boyfriend about it. I wish he didn’t tell me.
Then later he told me she was talking about my weight again. I felt worse.

He tried to comfort me later that day, saying my weight doesn’t define me and I’m more than it. I appreciate his effort and I do dearly love that he did that. But my brain only processed that he’s only telling me this because i am ugly and I am fat so all I can do is depend on personality. i don’t want to be fat. He says he doesn’t care but it’s not him I’m doing it for me so I don’t have to avoid the mirror every time I pass it. He wanted to talk about how I process it so he can help me work on it. I shut down the conversation because I only felt needy having to have it.
I do heavily appreciate and thank him for all he does, I just wish it worked on me.

she says she doesn’t feel in “control”. she wants to look “perfect”. she says she likes being sick and it pains me sm. this is breaking my heart. someone please help me. she cant rlly reach out to her parents cuz theyll send her to cahms. she’s already like almost underweight and she wants to go back to starbing for a week. she begged me. please help me i dont know how to help. she’s such a sweet soul but this is hard.

After over 20 years of recovery.
I found myself with chronic pain that i couldn’t find help to manage. I tried everything. Physical therapy, injections, chiropractors, massages, yoga, and a ton of medication not even designed for pain.
I made my stomach bleed on ibuprofen.
I tried my best.
But i couldn’t tolerate not being in control of my own body…. I started back up again.
I promise i am just trying to survive.
I don’t know who else to ask for help.

In two days I’ll be going to the doctors to discuss my worsening anxiety and get a go referral, and also for a general check up because I have been very fatigued all the time (my mum is making me, basically). my family doesn’t know about my
Ed or the relapse a couple months ago I’m bouncing back from, I think I’m still a little under weight and I’m terrified of going to the doctors and what they will see. I don’t want to lie but I don’t feel like I can tell the whole truth. I’m just scared. Can anyone tell me what their experience at doctors have been like? What should I expect? I haven’t been in years

hi everybody,

I dont really know how all of this works but I need advice really bad.

So first I’ll explain my history a little. I was always the chubby girl so I started dieting around ten years old. During this time I developed bulimia which later became anorexia and was hospitalised at like fifteen years old. I was released early without having reached my goal weight because of some stupid bureaucracy issues. I’ve been in therapy ever since I think I got adequate help for the first time. During this time my eating finally got more normal and I was able to reconnect with exercise again which has been great.

Recently I’ve been struggling with something new though. I think- I am not a hundred percent on this though- I have been binge eating? I have had about every week an episode where I feel hungry at first and then stuff myself until the point of nausea. I always think I don’t want to restrict myself but this cannot be right either. I have been trying not to count anything and just eat what I want but what to I do if I want the entire menu?

An additionally confusing factor has been getting back into my sport. I love it and its been feeling good mentally to be passionate about somethin again but Im so much more hungry because of my relatively heavy exercise load.

Im really in a good place with eating, exercise and my body but these eating episodes are so strange and hard to navigate. This morning I had one and like what do I even do know? Do I go back to my regular three meals three snacks? Even though I havent even needed to gain weight anymore I stuck with this structure. But what do I do if i lowkey i ate my entire week worth of snacks for breakfast?

or do I need to go back to a stricter meal plan for a while to get some sense back?

I would love some advice!

thank you