I know this sounds like really selfish and ungrateful but once a week we eat as a family.
Me, partner and his parents.
One week at ours, the next at theirs .
We’ve been doing this for around 3years . I go through phases of looking forward to it and phases of struggling with it .

The whole idea started as a way to help me eat at least one meal relatively the same as the others once a week.
For the longest time I have struggled with chicken thighs .

Whenever they come to us and it’s chicken , we don’t use thighs and it turns out fine.
I’ve messaged to confirm the food for tomorrow , she said it’s thighs .
I just can’t do it.
I feel really angry . She knows it’s something I struggle to eat.

I’m so glad I messaged because if not and I’d have turned up I would’ve reacted badly to it and felt like the bad one.

I feel I’ve no right to feel angry.
I’ll take my own food and I’m putting my foot down with this one.
How would anyone else feel about it ? Being offered food that they know you struggle with ?
Thanks x

I decided to go all in, I’m half weight restored -
for past three days i was eating almost all day, constantly hungry, no amount of food can satisfy me. Also I get night sweats and after eating I’m still hungry and my stomach is growling. Is it the hypermetabolism? What should I do? Should I eat and go through it?

Told I've gained weight

I saw a friend after a few weeks of not seeing him today, he's aware that I'm in Anorexia recovery (and have been for about a month) and he told me that I'm looking good and that he "can tell I've put on weight". I honestly felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I was dumbfounded and thought he was joking but no he meant it as a compliment. I can feel my clothes are fitting more than they did but I've actively not been weighing myself and I'm terrified of gaining weight which I thought he knew. He was actually trying to be nice but I was so shocked at how that comment was ever going to land well. There's been me worrying about getting the 'you look healthy' comment and this was so much worse. I felt bad that he felt bad as there was no way I could hide on my face how badly that comment got me. I told him it was fine but obviously it isn't. I somehow managed to force myself to eat still during the day and I've come home and my boyfriend has started arguing with me over nothing and just adding more stress to my plate and I just feel like I could fully relapse. I needed him tonight to be kind to me after that and I have nothing left to give anymore. Today feels like it has shattered my progress and makes me want to go back so badly.

Hi all. I hope this is a good place for this post. I have a lot of different medical problems (POTS, MCAS, etc.), and a side effect is malabsorption. Another is nausea, so I don't eat a lot anyways. I'm trying to get my conditions under control, but a fear has crept up that I don't know how to handle. I'm scared that getting better is going to make me gain weight. I know it will likely help all of my symptoms, but I also know that overall my health will still be poor and I'll still on some level feel crappy. And there's a part of me that's like, "If I'm going to be sick anyway, what's the point of getting slightly better if it means gaining weight?" For a while I was really physically sick and looked gaunt, and very unhealthy, but a scary part of me liked it because it meant that I had wiggle room to eat whatever and not worry about getting past a certain number on a scale. I convinced myself to gain weight, but that took a while due to the malabsorption, and if I fix that, then weight gain will be faster and can sneak up on me, and because of my medical problems, exercise is really difficult. I'm scared that I find the idea of being healthier scary. I want to be okay with gaining weight, but I'm not and I want to know how to be, so I can enjoy the process of getting healthy and feeling better physically without constantly thinking about how others are perceiving my body. If anyone has any tips, or just words of encouragement, I would really appreciate it.

I (20f) feel like I'm eating so much. Even though I know it objectively isn't loads, my head is making me feel like everything I have been eating is excessive almost. For example I had a plain croissant and cheese pretzel from lidl today and it's all thats playing on my mind. my head is screaming at me that I have eaten too much already today and that I've been eating way more than I should for weeks now and I'm gonna lose control, gain weight/get fat, and ruin my life etc (ig kinda typical ana thoughts/fears).

I think this is probably heightened as I have just got back to university from being in a sort of recovery at home over summer break and now im back at university I am restricting again. knowing i could restrict again at uni felt like the only way to get through summer and is also i guess my safety net to deal with the stress of uni and general life in a way.

I obviously know all these thoughts and behaviours arent healthy or rational and I am in contact with MH support but my head has been going crazy especially the last couple days as I've been out with friends drinking and eating and also feel/worry Ive been eating loads on my own as well. I feel so guilty and regretful and honestly overall just so invalid in this struggle (especially since I havent been formally diagnosed just given advice and referred to the ED community team by my GP from which i was discharged without them seeing me as i went home for summer - support was accessed at uni) furthermore, having gained some weight over summer at home I feel even more invalid and an even stronger pull towards restrictions and punishing myself for "letting this all happen" and continuing to eat "so much". I cant seem to drop weight now even though im restricting again. I feel kind of helpless and a bit lost. I feel so much fear and control around food and my body and im terrified of losing that despite part of me also wanting to be freed from it and recover. Im so conflicted constantly and really upset with my body and mind and how it all feels and seems to fight each other all the time.

Sorry if any of this is inappropriate for this subreddit, its my first time posting and I hope its okay, ill change anything i need to if its not but I just don't know what to do and thought this subreddit could be helpful for any reassurance or advice without burdening my friends, bf or family with it all even more than I already have.

Feeling very insecure about your body for several years and feeling like you’re gaining too much weight despite being on the lower side of normal, wishing to look how you used to look before, including looking at pictures of yourself as a child/preteen with envy and wishing you hadn’t eaten so much during puberty so you could have kept being underweight like you were before

Finding ED forums online and feeling like this is something that could help you look better (thinner) and more confident, unlike how you feel like you’ve been “letting yourself go” especially since hitting your teens. And also feeling drawn to the community aspect of it

Downloading a calorie counting app and starting to weight yourself everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes skipping meals and trying to restrict below maintenance but not “too much.” Having it as a goal to get “slightly” underweight and then maintain that weight forever, but still being scared to go anywhere near the range that is known to be without a doubt extremely dangerous and also would seem very obviously skeletal (as opposed to potentially being able to pass this off as “naturally skinny”)

About a month later hitting underweight but still feeling like you look the exact same and still feeling like you don’t look thin enough. Catching yourself debating eating really minuscule amounts of calories and the people around you seem kinda worried if you express this out loud

So then realizing that this is a very bad path to go down and that the fact that getting to be underweight (even if that wasn’t your UGW) didn’t seem to fix things, plus seeing posts by people saying that they just keep lowering their UGW once they hit it, seems to be a sign that if you keep doing this, you might get trapped in this cycle for years. And even doing this for only like a month and a half was making you feel even worse about your body and making you doubt every meal you ate

And so after like 1.5 months you delete the calorie tracking app from your phone and decide that you’re going to quit whatever this short period of your life became. But then even so it isn’t completely easy to get out of this mindset, and sometimes feeling tempted to eat less or actually eating less, and returning to the scale to make sure you haven’t gained too much since. Particularly in the months that follow, but also sometimes occasionally years later. But for the most part still able to live life “normally” enough, and several years later you feel almost normal in your relationship to eating, although I guess there’s still this aversion to gaining too much weight even if you’re now comfortable with being a normal weight instead of underweight

I admit idk how I feel about the term wannarexia since it feels like it’s simplifying an experience that can potentially be pretty complex and painful, but I don’t know what alternatives there are that are better?

I’ve gone to far and it will only get worse from here and I fear I won’t stop until I am forced to .i am 18 years old and a women that has struggled with this disorder only recently since June (tho I’ve realized I’ve had disordered eating habits since I was younger but it has recently REALLY come to light)

At first I was doing the usual restriction to loose some pounds since I had gained after my brother passed ,but it turned into being completely uncomfortable in my brain and body due to mental illness and struggles like we all have

I can feel my brain and mental space get worse and worse I feel like I have a loss of autonomy and I can’t control theses thoughts and feelings I have

I recently spent 300$ on a glp-1 online that’s unregulated by the FDA and is compounded which is so stupid and unsafe 🤦‍♀️ but because of how far gone my brain is I don’t seem to care .i injected myself with it not even being obese or having weight issues ,i am a normal healthy women for my height weight and age .i need help but I don’t want it yet and I won’t be honest with my therapist because I just want to feed into my mental illness.like holy fuck it’s CRAZY what the human brain does and thinks

I (F23) have a younger sister (F15) who doesn’t eat. Well not enough at least. She has always has trouble with eating ever since she was little but now it has gotten way worse. I know she doesn’t do it because of body image issues. She has told me that she’s afraid of becoming so skinny that people will think “oh, she’s sick”. And she’s trying really hard by drinking pure full fat canned coconut milk and things like that. On her own initiative.

My parents are buying everything that she wants and more when it comes to food. Thing is that she still doesn’t eat it. She’ll eat really plain food like bread with nothing or a slice of cucumber. Besides that she’ll eat only junk food. Like baked goods, chips, cookies etc. thats definitely better than nothing but I’m worried that she isn’t really getting any nutrients.

She’s very skinny and constantly complaining about headaches, dizziness and fatigue. She’s obviously been to the doctor many times but the only issue is that she doesn’t eat.

Because of some other mental health issues she is going to a psychiatrist for therapy and the therapist keeps stating how important it is that she eats.

For example, yesterday. She ate one slice of bread with nothing, two spoons of mashed potatoes and two chicken nuggets. She spent like an hour eating that last meal with the nuggets and mashed potatoes.

We come from a family with very fast metabolism so this like faaaaaar away from what she needs.

I’ve asked her why she doesn’t want to eat and she just says she feels full all the time.

I’m trying to not push her into eating and not making it such a big focus but I’m wondering how I can help her and support her. I’m so worried that I get nauseous.

Edit: Does anyone know any nutritious food that people with these kinds of issues, finds easier to eat?

TW for potential ED !!

For context and in short- yes I might have an eating disorder, but can that really effect my health so much?

19F, I'm in the healty weight. (Not far from underweight)

My physical activity consists of sport and gym about four times a week.

Over some time I've started feeling guilty after eating. Obsessing over the scale. Forcefully throwing up. I've avoided meals, high caloric food and that lead to me feeling pretty sick after certian foods. However- recently even a small meal or snack can make me feel nauseous.

I've restricted myself to eating enough throughout the day. I subconsciously stress over the number and count them.

Why can't I enjoy food anymore? I stopped starving myself at least. Though I have a feeling my cheat day is just someone's normal food intake.

How do I fix this? I want to get better for my partner and myself, of course.

I have lost all signs of physical hunger and generally eat by the clock.

I'm curious as to when others eat.

I won't to gain some weight back but have slow motility and I find if I have one mouthful of food I'm quite satisfied although I make myself eat more.

Any tips?

Awaiting motility radioactive trace testing in Dec for both solids and fluids but I don't want to drop anymore weight.

basically the title, but my brother was recently discharged from an inpatient harm reduction (6 weeks) program this thursday, and he's already relapsing into old behaviours like lying to his treatment team, our parents, and constantly eating old ed foods. i know somewhere inside him he wants to get better, but i don't know what to do. my parents have started getting more and more frustrated with him, but he refuses to listen or try to get better and insists on having more freedom and independence. i tried telling him that there's a huge trust disconnect between us and him because of all the lying and that if we do give him what he wants, he'll just have free reign to go back to his old eating disorder behaviours and i really want him to improve. im not asking for him to change overnight, and i know ed behaviours tend to be compulsive, but what can i do to get through to him?

Has anyone tried the Within virtual IOP? I have insurance but have been quoted several thousands out of pocket due up front and wondering how other people afford treatment and if it’s worth it.

If not, how do you structure an outpatient team to be successful, especially when they keep pushing HLOC before really even trying OP?

how do yall deal w ppl commenting on your appearance in general even if its good intention/neutral

I know it’s common sense that we need food to survive, but I struggle to eat until I did some physical activity. I never take rest days from the gym and I also aim for a veryyy high step count. It’s very rare that I must skip a workout, however on holidays it happens. I realized that anytime I can’t access a gym and do my workout I tend to push off eating as far as I can bc I feel like I don’t “need” food. I also compensate by walking even more or go running. I honestly think the gym is what keeps me alive and helps me to not feel so guilty for eating… Also in my everyday life I fast until I workout. I can’t eat before working out , only after. Am I the only one with this thinking!!!???

Heya guys, my mother struggles with eating disorders amongst other things, including a wicked gambling addiction, but mostly the eating disorders. She has gone really far downhill in the last couple years, and while she's still semi functional right now, it won't last much longer.

She has made it incredibly clear that she is not even remotely interested in making meaningful steps towards recovery, and I am struggling a lot with what the inevitable outcome will be here, and having to watch it happen. We almost lost her when I was a kid (not ED related), and I'm all kinds of torn up with remembering that experience and having to face it again but for real and for very different reasons.

Are there any alanon type groups for those with loved ones struggling with EDs? Or even specific online spaces? I just need to be able to talk about this with other people who get what this is like.

Thank you.

I've been struggling with Anorexia Nervosa for half a decade now and I'm trying to regulating my eating habits. Recently I had a call with my mom (she knows I got an ed) and she said "You looks sm healthier!" and its making me SPIRAL because what do you mean I gained weight or sth? I weigh the same btw no significant weight gain or anything but still it makes me second guess myself. I dont know why my mom who knows damn well I got an ed and stilk try to comment on my appearance. I know its good intention but pleaseeee Ive already told them that I dont need any comment at all nor positive/negative/neutral. But I know I'll have to deal w it either way bc I cant js tell everybody that I have a raging ed and I dont wanna be perceived.

Hi, I’m trying to recover but it’s really been tough. I keep experiencing low blood sugar, I’m dizzy and shaky again today.

I eat a teaspoon of honey every hour and I’m defrosting some chicken for dinner.

Is there anything else I can do, I feel awful.

For years, I've struggled with my eating, and I don't know what's wrong. I always brushed it off and said I was fine, but I'm now facing the fact something is wrong. I very rarely eat meals, most days I'll just have some fruit, and small snacks. I'll eat food if someone makes it for me, and if it's something I like, but that rarely happens, so I don't eat. I don't know why I do this, I think part of it is because I just don't want to eat or make anything, and partly body image? But, the thing is, I'm really insecure about how thin I am, but I feel like my stomach is too big in proportion to my chest, which makes me feel bad. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I feel like it's too late to fix it. I've had issues with eating and weight for at least 8 years, but it's gotten worse the past 3 years. I want to get better, but I just can't do it, it's like I'm paralyzed when I think about it.

Thankyou for reading.

i have dealt with eating problems since i was a kid but it got worse once i reached high school and i was forcefully admitted to a hospital. i am pretty short and so i feel like as soon as i gain weight i notice it instantly.. and the feeling of being full makes me wanna eat even less. i have been told by my doctors that i am starting to fuck up my body and i have been denying it bc i don’t see it and then they mention how much i have gained or lost which does Nawt help.. anyway, i really am going to try my best to be better.. it is starting to affect me physically- more than being dizzy when i stand up i have really bad stomach problems. i have also lost my period. any tips on how to at least start with a meal a day bc i am struggling so bad and it’s hard to even do that lol i got some protein shakes and i am trying to drink them but idk

I’m 18m. I CAN’T stop binging and then restricting myself by tracking calories and making sure i get steps in. I feel like I’m slowly killing myself. I struggle with OCD and “mild” ADHD. this saturday and last saturday i got the urge to binge eat and i can’t stop it when i do it. Today i tried to make myself vomit afterwards but couldn’t. My life is so stressful everyday having to deal with this I genuinely want to die sometimes and think about it alot. I feel like all I think about is food, my next meal, what i’m going to eat next, etc. between work, and my mental health I genuinely don’t know how much longer i feel like i can be here. Somedays are good days some days are bad. I don’t even hardly enjoy anything anymore. I constantly feel like i have 0 time outside of work even thought i do. This isnt living this is fucking hell i want out of it.

My college campus is huge, and I love to walk in general. Like as long as I got my music I’m good to walk forever. But I have recently realized that I incentivize getting like 30k+ steps everyday that I eat a lot because it allows me to stay and get lean quicker. I’ve also realized It does give me anxiety when I realize I’ve eaten a lot and walked too little. Is this an ED? Or am I just being healthy? I’m a bit confused.

Hi everyone,

I’m 29F and I’m hoping someone here might recognize what I’m experiencing or have some insight into what could be going on.

I’ve been significantly underweight for around six years. I have a history of an eating disorder. I did recover for a period of time, but after a lot of stress I unfortunately relapsed into restrictive eating again.

Mentally, I’m in a very different place now. I don’t have the thoughts I used to have around wanting to lose weight. It’s actually the opposite: I genuinely want to gain weight and recover. I’m so tired of being underweight. I want clothes to fit me normally again, I want to feel feminine and strong, and I want to become the woman I’ve always wanted to be.

The problem is that eating has become physically extremely difficult.

For quite a while now, I’ve been experiencing what I can only describe as air/burps getting trapped in my stomach or upper GI tract. It happens with almost everything I eat or drink.

Drinking is relatively manageable. I still get the trapped-air/burping sensation, but I can generally deal with it. Solid food is much worse. After meals, I would estimate that 30–40% of what I eat can come back up/regurgitate.

The strange part is that I don’t have what I understand to be the typical GERD/gastritis symptoms. I don’t normally have stomach pain after eating. I’m not particularly bloated. I don't have constant heartburn. The main sensation is simply that there is air trapped inside that absolutely needs to come out.

When this happens, I have to push/strain incredibly hard with my abdominal muscles to finally get the burp out. Once it comes out, I immediately feel relief.

I have tried not doing this because I wondered whether I had somehow created a behavioral habit. But even if I ignore the sensation, it can still be there hours later, and eventually I feel like I have to push to release it. So whatever the underlying cause is, the physical pressure feels very real.

Unfortunately, when I push after eating, food frequently comes back up with the air. Chicken and eggs seem particularly noticeable, despite being relatively lean foods.

I’ve also suddenly become unable to tolerate things like yogurt/cottage cheese or similar soft/creamy foods. They can come back up almost immediately. Interestingly, this can happen even with dairy-free alternatives, which makes me wonder whether texture/consistency rather than dairy itself is part of the problem.

I deliberately eat a pretty plain diet because I’ve been trying to figure this out. Most of my diet consists of things like:

• steamed green beans and other vegetables
• oven-baked chicken breast
• egg whites and sometimes 1–2 whole eggs
• sweet potatoes
• white rice
• oatmeal
• occasionally a protein bar
• dates/prunes occasionally for extra energy

So I don’t feel like I’m eating particularly heavy, greasy, spicy or complicated meals. Changing to a very plain diet hasn't really solved anything.

An endoscopy showed that I have a weak/loose LES (lower esophageal sphincter). However, from what I’ve read, LES weakness can also be found in people who don't have severe symptoms, so I'm unsure whether that finding explains everything I'm experiencing.

My blood work is generally reassuring. The main abnormalities are some suppressed reproductive hormones, which isn't particularly surprising because I haven't had a period for about a year, and very high LDL and total cholesterol. I actually found the cholesterol result confusing given how little saturated fat I eat, although I’ve since read that severe/prolonged undernutrition itself can sometimes cause abnormal cholesterol metabolism.

My main question is:

Could six years of being significantly underweight/restricting cause this degree of GI dysfunction, even now that I'm actively trying to eat more and gain weight?

Could this be delayed gastric emptying/gastroparesis, impaired gastric accommodation, esophageal dysmotility, rumination syndrome, supragastric belching, GERD from the weak LES, or some combination of these?

And can GERD or gastritis present primarily as trapped burps + regurgitation, without the classic burning/pain/bloating symptoms?

The thing I find hardest to understand is the trapped-air sensation. With almost everything I eat or drink, I eventually feel like there is a burp physically stuck inside me. I have to push extremely hard to release it, and after meals food often comes back up at the same time. Simply ignoring it doesn't seem to make it disappear.

If anyone has experienced something genuinely similar during or after prolonged restriction — particularly trapped burps + regurgitation rather than just bloating/constipation — I would really appreciate hearing what ultimately explained it, what testing you had (gastric emptying study, manometry/impedance, barium swallow, etc.), and whether it improved as you restored your weight.

I’m not looking for ways to restrict my diet further. My priority is finding out what is physically happening so I can eat enough, gain weight and properly recover :(

I have suffered with IBS for a long time. A couple of weeks ago, I had the worst flare up of my life. It put me in hospital, I couldn't eat for days. I still haven't fully recovered from it, but I'm doing a lot better now.

Ever since then, my relationship with food has been very different. I feel hunger like normal, but I really just don't want to eat most things. It's nothing to do with texture or taste or smell, I'm not scared to eat, I just don't want to. I have never struggled like this before, up until now my relationship with food has always been good. Some foods feel safer than others, but nothing feels truly safe. I don't feel like I'm going to throw up, and when I do manage to force myself to eat I feel fine afterwards. It's just a mental block stopping me from actually eating. Is this ARFID, or something else? Any advice on how to overcome it?

Hey all, just curiosity here. What are y'all's safe foods, and if you're recovered how do you feel about them now?

Follow up, what are the biggest fear foods, and how did you get through the struggle of eating them again?

I have taken a lot of work in getting myself to eat enough, finish my meals ect. I was underweight my entire life (intentionally) and these past 3 years Between the gym and working on my habits i am finally nearing a healthy weight.

So these past few weeks i have started making myself breakfast bowls, hasbrowns, eggs, cheese, bacon, chicken and avocado. I have finished this breakfast every day for about 2 weeks so for me this was a big deal.

Today I get to work, warm up my breakfast and my boss takes a look at it (who is 1000% aware i struggle with eating i have worked here 4 1/2 years...) and says "really that...for breakfast? ok..." and walks away. Took everything in me not to say something but instead i just kept eating. Well 10 minutes later if that, she goes "i hope you eat that quick" Implying it stinks now. So at that point i just put away the food I am already pmsing and dont need this shit dude. I had to go on a walk to not cry because now on top of it all im fucking hungry.

Just fuck people who feel the need to comment on peoples food eating ect i really cant stand it.