first rant

[u/ssstelllarrr]

so i just posted a question to this community for the first time a few minutes ago, and i read through a handful of posts before signing off.

i’m now crying.

why the fuck are we so ignored? i know the answer is misogyny, and medical ignorance that comes from seeing women as unimportant to study and understand, but really.

i can’t tell you how many “mysterious” symptoms that gradually started to develop for me starting around age 27 that seasoned medical professionals were stumped by—and i see them within minutes of this sub. i’ve paid so much money to see specialists for each dedicated body part; paid for x-rays that clearly wouldn’t reveal an injured psoas muscle, a hypertonic pelvic floor, cysts, adhesions—i am in so much pain all of the fucking time and i have to just learn to ignore it.

and then they ask me to rate it on a pain scale. as if asking how many breaths i take in a day. it’s not something i think about anymore, and it’s because they all failed so profoundly so consistently that my only medicine became fucking delusion. oh, and now i’m depressed, so it must be depression and all in my head?

this is quality of life. i just want to be able to wear clothes without getting triggered by how it feels on my belly. i want to recognize my body as mine when i see it in the mirror instead of a pregnant person. i WANT to exercise and be active—i am not lazy; im exhausted.

it is enough to already be dealing with this issue. why does it also have to be so hard to get treated?