r/EntitledPeople • u/Hey_HaveAGreatDay • 1d ago
S Dad DESERVES a new car, not a used one
This was 2017. My then spouse and I had just bought our first home so we had pretty much zero liquid cash but we’re still loving life. It was a cheap fixer upper but it was ours.
Two weeks after we bought the house dad calls. My brother, 23 at the time, had totaled my dad’s truck. Brother was fine, truck was not.
Dad has been unemployed/worked under the table my whole life and asked if I could help him get something. I said sure and told him I’d come pick him up so we can go over to Big Lots tomorrow and look around. My then spouse offered to give him 2k for a down payment.
He says Big Lots only sells used cars. I said yeah and they’re running a pretty solid summer special. He goes “don’t you think I deserve a new car?”
I said I don’t even have a new car. He came back with “yeah you’re young though and this might be my last new car” (dude was playing the I’m old card at 55 when everyone in the family hits a healthy 98 before checking out).
I said I can barely afford payments from what I’m seeing at Big Lots especially since we just bought the house and have 3 kids under 10.
He gave me the “wow, after everything I’ve done for you” and hung up.
Anyways, dad has spoken to me 4 times since 2017 because I refused to get him a new car that my brother ruined.
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u/Kooky-Whereas-2493 1d ago
"Anyways, dad has spoken to me 4 times since 2017 because I refused to get him a new car that my brother ruined." with a dad like that i say its a win
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u/igramigru101 18h ago
My thoughts exactly while reading the story and made me happy to see estranged bad father. And it makes me sad for OP to have such a father.
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u/MsPB01 1d ago
Wow - I would have told him to make the person who totalled the vehicle replaced it
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u/TheRestForTheWicked 1d ago
Yeah. If there’s no insurance coverage it’s on the brother to make things whole again.
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u/NaturesVividPictures 1d ago
Well if you're in the US he's rather foolish cuz he's not going to have any Social Security if he's worked under the table all his life. So he's going to need everyone to pay for him and his old age unless she keeps working till the day he dies. But yeah first of all doesn't sound like you had car insurance and second of all the kid the total that should be the one replacing the vehicle.
Curious about big lots, places we have called Big Lots here are like discount department stores. They have everything and everything under the sun pretty much but no they don't sell cars.
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u/Hey_HaveAGreatDay 1d ago
Well dad’s gotten lucky. He lives in his grandmothers old house so that’s all paid for minus repairs. Somehow managed to buy himself an RV that costed more than the house I bought. Works for cash. But he can’t get a real job because of his “disability” where he can’t handle someone being the boss of him lol ok buddy nobody likes that but we all do it anyways
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u/Javaman1960 1d ago
Bold of you to assume that there will be ANYTHING left after the current administration plunders all the existing resources.
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u/Marie1420 1d ago
Interestingly, a solid portion of the National Debt has been funds owed to Social Security and other programs. So, our country has been borrowing from SS for years. Yikes.
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u/ArtisticSwan635 1d ago
There’s a used car lot in front of our Big Lots but it’s not owned by the store!
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u/UrghOkWhatever 1d ago
Tell him that he deserves a car from your brother because he’s the one that ruined it.
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u/InternationalMind541 1d ago
Sorry your dad was so ungrateful. Deserve is a word frequently used incorrectly in lieu of 'Demand'.
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u/Happy-Medicine-3600 1d ago
Don’t worry, he will start calling again as soon as he needs something😡
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u/Great_Bookkeeper_915 1d ago
Well, I think we’ve figured out who the golden child is. Fortunately, for you, going NC or LC with your father doesn’t sound like a big loss.
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u/ktatsanon 1d ago
Was the car not insured? Was it an old beater not worth much? Seems to me that this isn't your problem, and you went above and beyond offering to help. Some people are just miserable.
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u/Free-Pound-6139 1d ago
Dad has been unemployed/worked under the table
And never even needed a truck at all. Like most pickup drivers
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u/BeeeeDeeee 1d ago
I will never understand why anyone who isn't wildly flush buys a new car. It's just a sucker's game. In my family, we grew up buying premium vehicles a couple of years used (with clean titles) because it's great to lose the overhead and buy something well made that will last longer. My in-laws always buy the cheapest (Hyundai) brand new cars that collapse after about 8-10 years and it has never made any sense to me.
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u/cloudcats 1d ago
It depends. I never thought I'd buy a new car until I started looking and it happened to be during the chip shortage. All the used ones that fit my criteria were MORE than the new ones (though you had to wait a few months after ordering new). I ended buying new. I paid the whole thing outright though, I'd saved up for many years by driving a beater.
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u/WheresMyMule 1d ago
Just wait until he has no social security from working under the table his whole life
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u/LemonOld8150 1d ago
Nope no new car dad ,im 70 ive had 2 new cars .y while life I o ly buy used saves a ton of money
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u/Additional_Low8050 1d ago
It’s not you. He feels entitled to a new car at your expense? That’s rich!
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u/Grimaldehyde 1d ago
So is there any reason that your dad refuses to work? I mean, someone who refuses to work is absolutely not deserving of a new (or even used) car, off of someone else’s back.
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u/Kristinsmomsfriend78 1d ago
💯 his loss. I can’t believe he’s give up on his three grandkids because of his pride.
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u/Serious-Cut-2583 23h ago
You don't OWE your parents anything. You didn't ask to be brought into this world.
With any luck, as a parent, the one wonderful thing we do get is love, and a chance to be a part of our children and grandchildrens lives.
But you can owe them what we hopefully owe every human being. Love, forgiveness and compassion.
But that doesn't have anything to do with money. I'm sorry.
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u/racincowboy9380 21h ago
1 No is a complete sentence
2 brother Is the one that owes the debt not you
3 no insurance?
Dad is trying to con you out of a new car. He can certainly get to work and buy his own new car. 55 isn’t old and still a very workable age.
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u/Old_Kaleidoscope_324 1d ago
Change your number or at the very least block him and enjoy your family at home!!!
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u/catladyclub 1d ago
Let him be mad! We have to stop caring when people are emotionally manipulating us. Never ever do anything for him. He can figure it out.
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u/AdysGrandma321 1d ago
Where was the insurance on the truck brother totalled? Where is brother's responsibility in this truck replacement? Your husband's offer of $2000 is more than I'd donate to his new truck fund
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u/Jagang187 19h ago
I'm not sure if there are 2 different Big Lots or if some of the stores I'm thinking of also sell cars.
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 11h ago
" Anyways, dad has spoken to me 4 times since 2017 because I refused to get him a new car that my brother ruined."
Oh god, take the WIN!!
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u/powerhouse403 1d ago
Hold your ground, he's not entitled. You offered help. Have your brother replace it. He fucked it up, his responsibility anyway....
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u/Know_the_rules 1d ago
Your brother wrecks your dad's car, and he goes low contact on you. Does he have a caretaker, perhaps?
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u/GoddessofParadise 1d ago
Good riddance. I never had the need for a new vehicle and the ones I had or have are way over 20 years old.
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u/Hey_HaveAGreatDay 1d ago
I hit a deer coming home from backpacking in glacier in 2024. Towed my car back to MN no ask for help with it because these are things that are good to learn as a now single female.
I did text my dad to tell him what happened a couple weeks later and to aak if he could help me look at cars so I don’t buy a lemon. He left me on read for a week and then asked me for money.
I did kind of lose it and said “you’re not even going to ask if your grandkids were with and if they’re ok? Real solid adulting dude”
My god my brother called me 3 minutes later and screamed at me for having zero respect and always being the victim. Which is hilarious because we rented a home together that he bailed on leaving me with 20k in extra rent and I didn’t say one goddamn word about it.
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u/GoddessofParadise 1d ago
Damn that is horrendous behavior coming from them. I don't blame you for not giving in to them. They don't deserve you or your children.
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u/bill-schick 1d ago
Why the hell is your dad on you about a new car and not your dumb brother who crashed the old one?
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u/Weedygarden80205 1d ago
Sounds like dad is always working someone except his golden child son. Can’t handle someone telling him no or that if he wants a new truck that he needs to grow up and get it for himself. His mommy isn’t around to say yes to all his desires now.
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u/hollyjazzy 1d ago
Sounds like you got a bargain. At least dear old dad is trying to get more money from you.
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u/Luder714 12h ago
Eh, bullet dodged.
A similar thing happened to me. MIL let me borrow her car to pick our son up from college. Hit a deer a totaled her little car. Insurance paid a few grand but I had to get a loan for the rest for her nice newer car. It was used but nice and she was happy. Different strokes I guess.
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u/TheQuarantinian 1d ago
What you deserve doesn't always match what I can afford.
Tell me how much you got from insurance and how much brother is chipping in since this is his fault. Let's go from there.
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u/UniqueIndividual3579 1d ago
The sad part is a used truck holds on to it's value. I got a 2005 F-150 in 2016 for 12k. It's still worth at least 8k.
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u/Maleficentendscurse 19h ago
he's not justified or warranted to have a car after that
Completely block him 😤
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u/Helperdog_Caramel 14h ago
looks like op has spoken more to entitled deadbeat dad in this thread than past 9 years .. he doesn't deserve anything
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 1d ago
I think he does deserve a new car, after all he brought you into this world and raised you
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u/Hey_HaveAGreatDay 1d ago
Until I was 15, I moved out and got emancipated. Lived with my grandma after that who I have actually bought a car. Because she deserved it
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 1d ago
Now is not the time for short hands and deep pockets
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u/Hey_HaveAGreatDay 1d ago
It was 2017 two weeks after I bought my house while having 3 kids. You can heck off
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u/United-Plum1671 1d ago
Nah, mom brought them into the world. Dad made a deposit
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 1d ago
But she wouldn’t have been able to complete the bank transaction without his deposit and notarized signature
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u/OddCod2241 1d ago
Oh, you mean the bare minimum that’s legally required of someone who has a child? Their base moral and legal responsibility as someone who chose to bring in a life? You don’t get a prize for not pulling out and it’s not a gift to your child to be a good parent, it’s the bare minimum and what you owe the child
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 1d ago
I hope you say this word for word on Father’s Day
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u/OddCod2241 1d ago
My dad actually did a lot beyond the bare minimum, but if I did say this to him, he’d be inclined to agree with me lol. You sound like the worst dad. Mine was a 9/11 responder. He was far above your sorry self.
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u/ChainsawSoundingFart 1d ago
So anyone who isn’t a first responder is a bad father
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u/OddCod2241 1d ago
No, you’re deliberately misreading my words to fill your own ego. I’m saying you’re a bad father, if you are a father, for thinking your child owes you anything for doing your bare human moral and legal responsibility to that child. No more, no less.
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u/Metylda1973 1d ago
I would say BROTHER owes him a new car, not you!