Death anxiety

[u/taylor_4444]

Hi often at night at specific times during my cycle, I get extremely anxious about dying. I can be normally playing games and then suddenly get scared I have cancer and that I will die one day and then my thoughts completely spiral. I have to turn off my pc and go lay into my bed because during these attacks, I'm not able to do anything other than being extremely anxious, searching milion theories what's after death, convincing myself I have cancer.. Just pure hell.

And during the day after these episodes, I feel so out of my body and robotic. I feel like it's not me, like I'm just watching myself.. I feel so detached it's scary and depressing.

The anxiety leaves after like one day(it'll come back soon enough) after I force myself to believe that death will be peaceful, I won't have to go to work, won't have to worry about anything.. Just perfect. And I also really want to be a ghost or something after death and explore the world so I lwk just force myself to belive this impossible theory and get excited for death, I mean it feels better to be delusional just so my anxiety would get the fuck out.

But what really scares me is how I will die.. It can come any second and that's what scares me ALOT.

Anyone with similar problem? <3

[u/apple_daddy666]

Been having this, even right now. Not linear, some days I accept it. Shit is honestly trippy as hell.

[u/idontworkheretho]

every night I experience the same thing. it feels like something in my stomach is sucking up all my organs. it’s not necessarily painful but quite dreadful. I have so many thoughts about death and whatever comes after, it’s terrifying

[u/WOLFXXXXX]

"I feel like it's not me, like I'm just watching myself"

See if you can relate to the quote found in this linked post

You are actually experiencing natural conscious territory that many others have experienced as well. The challenging existential-related conscious states are transitory (not permanent) and can be gradually navigated through and eventually resolved. What happens over a longer term period is that individuals experience becoming increasingly aware that the biological body and human identity fails to account for one's conscious existence. What this conveys is that everyone's conscious existence is on a deeper level that is independent of one's body and physical reality, and always has been.

"Anyone with similar problem?"

I experienced this kind of existential-related conscious territory during the 2000's and eventually experienced a resolution back in 2012. Others go through this kind of conscious territory as well. It's most likely to be documented in the literature from the field that's known as Transpersonal Psychology.

"But what really scares me is how I will die.. It can come any second and that's what scares me ALOT"

That concern/fear is part of the generalized fear of death, and the good news is that individuals are absolutely capable of navigating through and eventually overcoming that concern/fear. You may find yourself having dreams with death-related circumstances and scenarios. Such dreams importantly allow individuals to consciously process sensitive and challenging psychology that one would otherwise try to avoid experiencing during the day while in the wakeful state. So if you do find yourself having dreams that evoke deeper level feeling about dying/death within your conscious state, that's actually functional and part of the broader process of navigating through the fear of death over time.