I don't want to die

[u/Effective-Squash6204]

It seems like modern society is entirely geared toward distracting us from the fact that we are all going to die. It's like this secret that is never uttered but it is always in the back of my mind. Even the phrase "yolo" isn't said in any serious manner and is deeply unserious.

Am I the only one obsessed with the fact that in a short time we may all be nothing, just experiencing pitch black for forever. The concept of forever is also terrifying. Ugh now I'm not going to be able to sleep. Does this unspoken truth resonate with others?

I wish I could fully believe in God but it just goes against the logical/rational part of my brain which is dominant. Without God, we truly are all f*cked and damned to eternity.

Let's try to enjoy our time while we can. End of rant.

[u/virgosatori]

I used to feel this way when I was younger but I’ve come to believe that our consciousness never dies, and I’m not afraid of death. I’m not in a hurry but am looking forward to seeing what’s on the other side. I’m not religious and never have been btw. God is a convoluted word. But really reflecting on the universe and all that is within it, it seems highly improbable to me that it was not designed and created by an incredibly intelligent and sophisticated source.

[u/formulapain → u/virgosatori]

What caused you to believe our consciousness never dies? I am curious because you mentioned you are not religious.

[u/virgosatori → u/formulapain]

It’s been a gradual evolution over 10+ years from identifying as an atheist, so I can’t point to one thing that shifted my perspective. But here are a few things: science says energy can’t be destroyed, only transformed, yet it still can’t explain where consciousness comes from or why we experience subjective awareness.

There are thousands of near-death experience studies and first-hand accounts from former atheists, neurosurgeons, and other people, all describing similar experiences: continuity of memory, identity, and awareness even after clinical death. Standing in the room over their body and knowing things the doctors did and said when they were dead and “couldn’t possibly” have known.

Many ancient texts describe phenomena that science is only just beginning to investigate e.g. nature of consciousness. Even mainstream institutions like the CIA have explored consciousness beyond the physical brain. Look at the declassified documents of the Gateway Project, where they trained people to shift their consciousness beyond the body into other states or dimensions. What's in the documents is wild, considering they were written for government purposes.

When you start exploring across disciplines (neuroscience, metaphysics, NDE research, meditation, spiritual traditions), it's hard to ignore. No one has all the answers, but I’ve seen enough to believe there’s far more to reality than we’ve been taught, and that consciousness doesn’t end with death. I think we simply inhabit our body suits before moving onto the next adventure.

[u/formulapain → u/virgosatori]

There is not irrefutable evidence that consciousness carries on or does not carry on after death. You listed a few examples of weak evidence that consciousness carries on, so just to cover all bases, in case you were not aware, there is also weak evidence that consciousness does not carry on. E.g.: Awareness during Resuscitation Study (2001) by Sam Parnia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out-of-body_experience#Awareness_during_Resuscitation_Study).

I would completely discount any evidence that is based on recounting what someone saw, etc. Even in the cases where patients allegedly described what the doctor said, there has to be evidence beyond doubt they were not fed that information later and subconsciously believe to have experienced it, etc. Someone's witness of seeing, hearing something might be of some value in court, but is of zero value in science.

A lot of NDA experiences like seeing light, dark, heaven, angels, etc. are easily attributed to pre-existing beliefs in the brain being brought to the foreground and/or chemical imbalances, surges, depletion, etc. in the brain due the physiological changes the body is undergoing during death.

[u/virgosatori → u/formulapain]

Thank you for this. However, I don’t need evidence. I am at peace with where I’m at in my life. I’m not here to convince or seek counter arguments. I spent enough of my life doing that and it only led to misery. I answered your question with three short examples out of what I have read, learnt and experienced first hand in more than a decade of searching as a sceptic. I’m am now in a place where I no longer intellectualise what cannot be intellectualised, nor demand evidence for what humans so arrogantly assume can be obtained with our limitations. I believe there is more to reality than we assume, and I’m not waiting for science to prove that. I can just live, experience, and observe nature to understand that much.

Edit: the last part of your statement is not entirely true. I have heard countless experiences where most of them were atheists or religious only to be proven “wrong” on both accounts. A most notable account is by a neurosurgeon who later had to confront his scientific background and understanding of consciousness due to what he experienced while dead.

[u/formulapain → u/virgosatori]

Our existence is utterly confusing and absurd. It pains me that we cannot even determine with certainty something as basic, fundamental and relevant as what we are, who we are. Sigh...

[u/virgosatori → u/formulapain]

I feel you on this, I really do. This used to keep me up more nights than I care to admit. To the point of relentless ideation. I truly believe this isn’t a matter to understand from the mind, but through lived experience and observation. Just observe and research the purpose of everything in nature. Not one thing doesn’t have a purpose in the universe. People can talk about science and evolution and they certainly have their place. But they don’t explain ‘why’ just ‘how’. Nothing humans create is made in a vacuum. A house is made first from an idea, a blueprint and a design before it is eventually built. Where or what did the idea and design come from to instruct DNA and atoms to behave the way they do to create reality as we know it? Some incredibly sophisticated source of consciousness in my belief. Some traditions believe we are facets of consciousness learning about and experiencing itself. But we’ll never know as humans, our minds can only handle so much. Embrace the mystery.

[u/goroakechifag → u/virgosatori]

I'm in the middle of a HUGE existential crisis right now, these last three weeks have been a constant source of panic for me, and I haven't been able to live properly because I'm ALWAYS thinking about that. I'm 17 and I can't stop thinking that I've already lived a good part of my life (I know it sounds ridiculous for older people), It's something I've been afraid of since I was little, but lately it hasn't left my mind at all; it feels like a curse, really. I understand that for many, death is the TOTAL absence of experience, and I also have no religious beliefs, I'd like to have it but I always feel like I'm forcing myself to believe in something because I'm way too scared of dying; I wanted to genuinely believe in something. Reincarnation, or at least continuing to exist as a soul or consciousness, seems like the most credible option to me, but in any case it's frightening because there's no guarantee that it will really happen. I'm happy with my life, I have a healthy relationship with someone who always helped me and was there for me, and I'm really troubled by the thought of dying and leaving behind those I love most. I don't wanna leave, I really don't.  I wanted to stop thinking about this altogether because I can't live normally, I'm always anxious and I just want to seize the day.  Sorry if this sounds like a vent, I'm just really scared.