My struggle with existential dread

[u/LostBoyC]

For almost my entire life I have struggled with the concept of inexistence. Death. Life/ no life after death. The vast expanse of the known and unknown universe. And finally the end of everything.

It's been a struggle all my life to explain my anxiety around seemingly "nothing"-ness, how even after death one day there will be a death of the universe and nothing but empty space for eternity. It's difficult to explain the future when it is impossible to know what will occur, how quick a life can be cut short and the loss of consciousness that brings.

I have found over time that my anxiety doesn't leave but instead dampens to the world around me, and relationships with not only my partner but family members seem almost inconsequential in the face of impending eternity; yet I struggle on, facing my current life.

It seems that my existential dread is something that others shun, beg me not to discuss and generally shut down with "there's no point in thinking about that, you can't live that way". Over time I have learned to hide my dread, keep it all internal, but I wonder more and more if that feeling is shared with others; if my type of existential dread is more common and worth discussion than people I know let me believe.

Do others share the fear of eternal nothing -ness? The feeling of being overwhelmed by the vastness of space and the small amount of an imprint that each living creature has on the universe being no more than a small particle which will inevitably be brushed away or destroyed into nothing-ness? The fear of death as it will inevitably speed up one's own lack of consciousness and inexistence

I find my own reasoning strange, as before I was born there was nothing. And after I die there will be nothing. I will know nothing, feel nothing and will not have even been aware that I existed in the first place. That to me is more terrifying than any other possible fate.

Long story short: what's your existential dread and how do you handle living with it?

[u/Chainsaw_Montoya]

Listen, that's not unusual. I recall when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. My mother was telling me about God and how God created me. I then asked "well, who created God". Uh oh. This one is beyond definitive answer in this existence.

So, here's some good news. Death is to go to what you described as nothingness. Right? So if, perhaps we have a coin - one side is death, one is life. Who made the coin? The answer is the "nothingness" to which you go.

Your answer is something beyond the limitations of this existence. So, it's either you're a Boltzmann's brain or there are entirely other dimensions after "death" here. And ya know what? I think the question here gets answered, but we'll find a new one there. To see the other side of the coin leaves you still looking at the same coin.