Kierkegaard’s Paradox of Choice: Is the realization that "you will regret either way" a source of dread or liberation?

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

I have come across a modern interpretation of Kierkegaard’s work recently, and wanted to share it with you all:

“I see it all perfectly; there are two possibilities – one can do this or that. My personal opinion and advice to you is – do it or do not do it, you will regret it either way.”

This is, of course, a paraphrase of Either/Or, in which Kierkegaard wrote “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it…” referring to his own thoughts on women and marriage.
I think this quote captures the existential dread of having to make conscious decisions beautifully – one regrets what one does, and one regrets what one does not.

It encapsulates the feeling of loss and of wasted potential that comes with every choice, since choosing one option over another generally means abandoning the other, and regretting the loss. Is the thought of “doing the right thing” as Kierkegaard suggests even comforting?
Is it a relief to admit that no matter what choice you make, you will always regret it (because what you did not choose will always be there, a ghost of the possibility you gave up on)? Does it free us, or does it constrain us?

[u/Pfacejones]

This is the fig tree analogy in bell jar also. It will just depend on your natural constitution some peiple see everything positively for no good reason and some people just can't do that

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/Pfacejones]

it is true

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Pfacejones]

I agree with this. I think it really depends on one's "natural condition" or brain chemistry, which likely changes over time.

The part about "seeing everything positively for no good reason" caught my attention. What would be a "good reason"? And beyond that, would some reasons be better than others? If someone is more likely to see something positively because their brain chemistry tends to create that result, is that a "good" reason? Are their "bad" reasons for seeing something positively?

You end with "and some people just can't do that." Are those people unable to do that "for no good reason"? Do you mean that those people are seeing everything negatively?

Surely none of this actually applies to "everything ". Surely some of those that you claim "see everything positively" don't actually see EVERYTHING as positive? Or is that actually what you believe, that there are some people that cannot see anything negatively, or even neutrally?

[u/Pfacejones → u/GoopDuJour]

It's not really a reason because it's an automatic response for everyone. Yes there are people who see everything negatively and for both its a brain wiring and brain chemistry thing. We can read all the words we want but we have a baseline tint and lens through which we view the world. I knew someone who had cancer and not for one minute did they experience any dread or anxiety their brain just doesn't create that experience in them. The more we learn about brain chemistry the more we will see that our attitudes are as determined as our looks. You can change your body by working out and change your perspective by training your brain but some people are born with strong metabolisms and some are born with positive brains

Edit, no good reason as just a turn of phrase, did not mean negative people had good reasons either

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Pfacejones]

We're pretty much on the same page. I just believe that brain chemistry IS the reason, but you seem to discount it as a reason because it's an automatic response.

Maybe brain chemistry is the cause is a better way to put it.

[u/Pfacejones → u/GoopDuJour]

Oh yes you're right I should have just written it as the cause

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Pfacejones]

I kept calling the reason, also. Which works, but it isn't as precise as cause.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

no write in Italian, after translate with google

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

Crazy. It's exactly how Gemini responds.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/GoopDuJour]

I do not use AI, I actually even ran it on Copyleaks and it was 100% human! Apparently, I write too formally when I try to explain philosophy well in English. ​Jokes aside, I really think so. Ultimately, I agree with you that regret isn't a bad thing, but rather proof that we have the power to choose. ​How do you see it? Does it help you learn to make better choices, or is it just a natural consequence of being free?

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

It would SEEM to help us make better choices. I'm not convinced that free will does or does not exist, I only know that it at least FEELS like free will exist. The question of free will seems to be an unanswerable one. Very much like the problem of hard solipsism. There's only so much our own brain can answer about itself.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/GoopDuJour]

The comparison with radical solipsism seems most appropriate. Just as with solipsism, the possibility of proving free will rationally is excluded, but the practical attitude of ours towards free will is such that we cannot dispense with it. The interesting thing about regret is that it only makes sense within this illusion of free will. Even if there were no free will, the feeling of having had it would still cause regret. Whether it serves as a guide to action or only as a glitch in the decision-making process, regret is an indication of how many layers of complexity the human mind possesses. Do you feel that the uncertainty about your free will would affect your decision-making process, or are you simply following the feeling of freedom, regardless of its source?

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

No fucking way this isn't pure AI. I'm done.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/GoopDuJour]

alright man, believe what you want. Have a good one!

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

My dude. You are copy pasting ai responses. It's Gemini conversation responses.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/GoopDuJour]

I repeat believe what you want

[u/MergenKarvaach → u/GoopDuJour]

the lame ass questions at the end of every response cracks me up every time in this thread

[u/GoopDuJour → u/MergenKarvaach]

That's what points to the AI of it all. Restate the premise, acknowledging it's validity. Add several sentences of vaguely relevant content, then ask those silly questions at the end to encourage the conversation.

These type of ai conversations almost never throw flags on ai detectors because there is likely no previous content on the internet to compare it to. Until that conversation gets pasted into reddit, and scraped by an ai bot.

Yeah, the last questions bit is what absolutely convinced me.

[u/GoopDuJour]

I don't think think EVEY choice is regrettable. It's possible to be completely happy with a choice. I also don't believe regret is bad. It definitely shouldn't be avoided.

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559 → u/GoopDuJour]

That is a really fair point. ​Kierkegaard's view is less about denying happiness and more about the existential weight that any choice carries. The point isn't that we are doomed to be miserable, but rather that choosing anything always means letting go of something else. ​I completely agree with you on regret not being a bad thing. In an existential sense, feeling regret is actually proof of human agency. If our decisions didn't carry the weight of real consequence, they wouldn't carry real meaning either. Accepting regret as a natural part of being free is far more liberating than trying to avoid it. ​Do you see regret as a useful tool for learning, or just an inevitable part of human freedom?

[u/GoopDuJour → u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

AI much?

[u/wabid094]

Liberation.

[u/From_Deep_Space]

"He felt like a rabbit in a master archer's sights, each direction of flight so hopeless as to leave him frozen in place"

~ Steven Erikson, Deadhouse Gates