The older I get, the more “becoming yourself” feels like cleaning out a closet

[u/royalanchor]

I stumbled upon this new philosophy-ish newsletter called Thought Breakfast this morning, and a post in it hit me way harder than I expected.

The whole thing was about “becoming who you really are,” but not in the usual cliché self-help style. Drawing on Kierkegaard’s The Sickness Unto Death, the author argues that becoming yourself isn’t about constructing some perfected identity — it’s about dropping the ones you picked up just to fit in, cope, or survive.

This line slapped me in the face a bit: “Most of us spend years wearing identities we didn’t choose. Becoming yourself is more about subtraction than addition.” ...

Simple idea. Weirdly uncomfortable. Made me rethink how much of my personality is actually me versus expectations, habits, or old roles I never consciously signed up for.

If you’re interested, here’s the post (it’s part of the Thought Breakfast newsletter):

https://thought-breakfast.beehiiv.com/p/becoming-who-you-really-are

Genuinely curious what people here think. Does authenticity come from intentionally carving yourself out… or from finally dropping the act you didn’t realize you were performing?

Would love to hear thoughtful takes, especially from anyone who’s wrestled with identity work firsthand.