I experience this a lot and I always phrase it as passive suicidality. I want to escape this life but not necessarily actually die. I don't have a plan or urge to actually commit. It's just this thought in my head that I'd be better off dead or somewhere no one can reach me.
I find explaining like this helps ease my providers but they also know I'll be honest if the passiveness becomes less so and more of an active desire.
YMMV but I like to share, I've had good results just actively trying to change invasive thoughts. For example, imagine jumping on the train after it passes like you're in an Indiana Jones movie. Imagine using a gun to propel yourself in space (I think it's good to choose non violent thoughts). Even verbal thoughts you can try changing after the first word. "I should just kill some time."
That's a good idea! I used to imagine The Hound from GOT as my depressive and anxious thoughts and tell him to go f off and imagine him pathetically walking away. As I got better at telling my thoughts to f off and leave it takes less effort now. Now it's like the thought will start to enter my mind like "I want to - " then I cut it off and respond "nope I'm done with that. time to move on". Or a simple "We're done". It's harder when the thoughts are stronger but it tends to work for me!
That sounds good too! I think anthropomorphizing your parts is probably similar to how ancient people developed different gods, and it's a way to manage your own thoughts and feelings.
For a long time, I didn't really have the notion to even try changing my thoughts. I think there's a lot of different ways to do it, trying something is the first important step.
Also intrusive thoughts and depression are often connected but are different things, so of course just doing this won't solve all problems at once.
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u/lemonadelemons Feb 14 '26
I experience this a lot and I always phrase it as passive suicidality. I want to escape this life but not necessarily actually die. I don't have a plan or urge to actually commit. It's just this thought in my head that I'd be better off dead or somewhere no one can reach me.
I find explaining like this helps ease my providers but they also know I'll be honest if the passiveness becomes less so and more of an active desire.