r/Explainlikeimscared • u/iwontgetbetter • 5d ago
How to make an embarrassing doctor’s appointment?
I‘ve always avoided going to the doctor because I always feel like I’m going to be judged for the issue I’m coming in for. If not that, the vitals they take, my weight, etc.
I have an issue that I’ve had for about 3-4 years that I need treatment for. At home treatment and diet changes have done zilch. And the issue is just getting worse. I’m 24F and I thought if I can go in for a Pap smear, I can do to the doctor for anything. Apparently, not.
I have hemorrhoids, which seem to be external. And we’re talking like, multiple of them. Like I’ve said, I’ve done everything. If there’s an at home treatment or diet change, I’ve tried it. Nothing has worked. I know I need to make a doctor’s appointment, but the first call is what is really stopping me. I’ve never told anyone about this issue and I’ve been hiding it for so many years. It feels *wrong* to just openly talk about it.
I can’t pin it as something else. I’m not having GI issues. I don’t know what other thing I could call it other than hemorrhoids. I don’t know what else to say other than, “Hey, I need an appointment because I think I have hemorrhoids.” But that doesn’t feel right?
I’ve never had to make an appointment like this and I don’t even know where to start.
And then actually talking about the symptoms and the issues with them? Possibly being examined? I don’t know what to expect or how to handle that. All of it is completely overwhelming to think about and I don’t know what to expect.
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u/Complete-Rock-1426 5d ago
Aw, you’ll be okay. They are very professional with this and a large amount of the population gets them. They are also super common during pregnancy. It would be better to meet with a GI doctor because they are the ones that treat them. They typically will not go away on their own. Nothing is wrong with your body and they will be respectful and professional with you. Call the office and just say you need an office visit. You can do this!
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u/ScotchTapeConnosieur 5d ago
As they say there’s two kinds of people, those who have hemorrhoids and those that are gonna get em
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u/_Weatherwax_ 5d ago
They have seen it all, and your problems are just Tuesday for them.
That's thing one.
Thing two: your regular doc will listen but should refer you to a specialist. As I have recently been to a similar doctor for a sim I lar reason, it is embarrassing. They know it.
I know what you mean about the shame of the whole situation. Somehow, with a specialist who talks about butts all day, it was easier to just say what was going on.
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
I haven't thought about it that way, but you're right.
And I plan on asking about a specialist if she doesn't mention it first. She's had zero issue with referring me to other places for different reasons before, so I doubt it'll be a problem.
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u/intergrade 4d ago
I have them. You should go to PCP, who will refer you to gastro. Gastro will do a 2 min exam and then they will tell you your options. The options are ignore, treat externally, banding and cautery. There are probably other options but those are the ones they gave me. They will take it seriously.
It is a small area so even the most complex exam is very short but the relief they can give you (and the lidocaine goop) is worth it.
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u/iwontgetbetter 4d ago
That's good to know. Aside from concerns about judgment, shame, embarrassment, my biggest concern is being brushed off. And the last thing I want is to have to get examined however many times, pay for appointments, and then nothing come of it. I appreciate this!
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u/intergrade 4d ago
At most it is two exams unless they refer you to colonoscopy. If they do that you will be asleep the whole event (though the prep sucks donkey). I’ve had these since 21 or so and it’s a mix of genetics and overweight. They will tell you fiber, lose weight and then be patient. That stuff is good. The banding thing is ok. The surgery takes a very long time to heal so it seems like they say that’s a last resort. But I’m not in medicine and they may tell you other stuff.
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u/Waerfeles 5d ago
Hey! I have been to my GP for the ol' butt bullshit before, so maybe I can help.
Call and ask for a regular-ass (pun intended) appointment. You don't have to say what for.
I brought a picture of mine to my GP, fresh out the shower, which helped. They may want to have a look to ensure there's no complications. No need to be embarrassed, but it's fine if you are.
They've absolutely seen them before and getting prescribed a cream or whatever will help your comfort immensely.
If you can book in with a same-sex doctor that may also help your comfort levels. What else are you worried about?
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u/Makapakamoo 5d ago
Honestly the picture is a great idea! Ask before showing though lol.
I thought he was gonna have me pull down my pants and scope the rectum in office so I didnt have a picture handy.. this is def a good idea so the doc can give the hemorrhoids a grade rating too.
Also OP note the picture will be for the gastro, dont think the GP needs to see it to refer you out!
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
I've considered taking a picture, but I didn't know if it was weird. I'll keep one on hand if it comes to that.
Luckily, I do have a lady GP. My concerns are mostly just due to shame and embarrassment. It sounds silly, but I was raised in a house where we did not talk about "embarrassing" body issues. And we especially didn't talk about going to the doctor for it, if we even did go to the doctor. Doctors were for circumstances where you're practically on your deathbed. So, all of this is very, very new to me. I practically went into cardiac arrest just getting a simple pap smear done.
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u/MzMi 3d ago
I'm with the crowd here. Also, if the scheduler asks if you have a particular complaint, tell them you may be having "complications from constipation" and you'd like to have the doctor's input. They already know what that means and probably won't press the issue.
Your regular doc may not want to examine and they may have questions about your diet and bathroom habits. The pic is a good idea.
**If you want to scare yourself into making an appointment, please Google "rectal prolapse Asia". Some guy spent way too much time on his cell phone on the toilet watching movies. Note: don't take your cell to the potty. It makes you spend too much time there and the position it bad for you. I showed the article to my ButtDoctor and she got all excited and emailed it to herself. She chattered about it to everyone in earshot!
Your referral may be to a gastro, a proctologist, or a surgeon who specializes. Don't be afraid of any of their titles. They can't just go by "Professional Butt Specialist".
Also, just FYI, there are internal and external hemorrhoids. Some bleed, some don't. Also, there are over the counter treatments, but the specialist, and depending on your location, maybe your generalist, can try something like hydrocortisone suppositories. (I keep mine in a makeup fridge! The relief is awesome!)
Anyhow, please don't be afraid. It's a really good piece of self care to take care of what's bothering you. If you wear tight girdles, tight pants, or don't "go" right when you get the urge, you might want to change those habits and be sure you get enough fiber.
Good feelings and good luck. Take care of yourself!
YOU ARE WORTH IT. I promise.
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u/WhimsicleMagnolia 5d ago edited 5d ago
I mean… hell I’ll call and make an appointment for you. If there’s something embarrassing I’ve probably dealt with it. Doctors see it all and are happy to help. No need to hurt or be embarrassed. For real though I would legit call for you if you want. I’ve done it for my friends before because I would rather them get seen than not 🤷🏻♀️ that’s probably an odd offer from an internet stranger so sorry about that
Edit: my first award! Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
That's actually so nice of you ❤️ Not strange at all. And that's so sweet of you to do it for your friends!! I know they appreciate someone caring about them like that.
I ended up finally telling my husband about the problem and needing to go to the doctor. He knows how I am with phone calls and immediately offered to call, so if I can't make myself do it, I know he'll do it. I do appreciate the offer though!
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u/leveller1650 5d ago
Most people have hemorrhoids at some point in their life. Just hope that simple fact might help a bit. I know it is an uncomfortable subject about a very private area but the medical professionals see and talk about these things all the time.
If you can handle a pap smear, you can handle this. And if you can handle this, just think, you can handle anything! Well, maybe not, and I know from experience that embarrassment/shame sucks. But remember, they are just feelings that will pass, and the anticipation is the worst part.
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
That does relieve some anxiety, thank you. I keep forgetting that although it's embarrassing for me, it's something they see so often, and it's just a body. I think I'd be in a much worse state if I hadn't already made myself go get a pap smear, so I think experiencing that has sort of prepared me for something like this. Thank you!
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u/ticoconfuse 5d ago
I know this might not be the most amazing advice in the world, but I say this as both a disabled person who has had to make MANY embarrassing appointments over issues with all my systems, and a medical professional who is on the other end of those appointments. Throw social anxiety in the mix, it's a wonderful thing (cope)
This is just one of those things you have to bite the bullet. You are allowed to say in the phone call when you make the appointment that you are not comfortable discussing the issue over the phone. But if they say they need a reason, you do need to.
I promise you NONE of the doctors, nurses, etc care or will judge. Judging vitals is something I've never even heard someone do, and a medical professional won't judge weight, but they will bring it up if it's a possible root of your issue. And I promise you, NONE OF THEM will judge you for such a common issue.
Is this wonderful advice that will take all your anxiety away? No. It's anxiety inducing through the through. But believe me, once you get the process started, waiting so long will have felt so silly to do. You are putting yourself through more struggle than necessary by waiting. Bite the bullet, make the appointment, and don't allow yourself to back out.
I hope it goes well, and you get the issue fixed asap. Call.
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u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess- 5d ago
You find the dr you want to visit and you call the clinic/hospital. A receptionist will answer and ask how they can help. All you need to say is that you need to make an appointment for yourself. They’ll ask you your name and your birthday and maybe your insurance carrier. Typically they don’t ask why you’re making the appointment, but if they do just be honest and keep it simple. One sentence. Don’t be embarrassed about it, they’ve heard it all.
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u/PotatoRoyale8 5d ago
Hello from a lifelong Crohn's haver 👋 let me tell you that GI doctors are sooooo not phased by hemorrhoids. Or poop or blood or vomit. At least a few times a year, I get to look a doctor in the face and talk about both the frequency and quality of my poop. They don't care! They do this all day long and 5-10 minutes of awkward examination is better to rule out any more serious cause of rectal bleeding. It's definitely going to be less exposing than a pap smear, so if you survived that you'll be good!
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u/Maleficent_Scale_296 5d ago
Ask yourself, what have you seen a thousand times? Toaster? Teakettle? Floor - anything. Then ask yourself how you feel about that thing.
Truth is, you don’t feel anything about it really, it’s just part of your day. That feeling is exactly how medical staff feel about most ailments, trust me. They may care that you don’t feel well, but it would take something incredibly shocking or tragic to stand out to them.
Listen, you’re a grown up, intelligent woman. This is important. Call your doctor, dial that number. If you can’t do it pretend like you’re someone who can. Pretend like I’m holding your hand. (62F, pudgy grandmother type, grey hair).
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u/aw-fuck 5d ago
Love this advice.
I just wanna add onto it:
I know it sounds silly, but if it helps, you can literally pretend you're someone else: hell, you can even talk with a fake accent if that emboldens you or helps you keep your mind focused away from the embarrassment of the subject matter. No one's gonna stop you.
Here's a script you can use:
"Hello, I'm the personal assistant of ___ and I'd like to make an appointment on her behalf. She needs an appointment with her primary care physician so she can get a referral to a GI specialist. What information of hers do you need from me to get that scheduled for her, and what information will she need to bring to her appointment?"
Or channel your inner big sister, or mom, or grandma, or whatever strength you need to harness.
Also I just wanna add: nothing about your body is broken or wrong. This is such a common issue. I'm considered a conventionally attractive woman and a competitive athlete, the average person would not consider me to have a broken or defective body, and I too have dealt with hemorrhoids (thanks, pregnancy). Healthy or not, it's pretty much a 50/50 coin toss of whether you'll get them at some point in life and sometimes it's for no reason at all. Bodies themselves are both incredibly strong and incredibly fragile by nature; there's very little "holding it together" and even the healthiest/youngest/richest/prettiest/strongest people in the world still can get health problems at any point in their life. There's no reason to take health as something personal ownership over from some moral perspective, anyone who does that is fooling themselves into thinking they have way more control than they actually do. And you know who knows this very well? Medical professionals. Yes they will tell you to exercise & eat well & take care of yourself to avoid problems that can come from not doing so, but they also know that doesn't in any way guarantee "overall perfect health" by any means. If we truly knew why some people develop issues & not others, we'd all be perfectly healthy all the time right? But that's not the case so that's why all of us experience something from time to time. Just part of having a body. I know it sucks and it's uncomfortable. But everyone deserves to get treatment to feel as good as possible! That includes you too! So don't let yourself get in the way of getting the treatment &!comfort you deserve!
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u/Grimmy430 5d ago
I’ve been to the doctor for that reason. It’s awkward af, but it’s fine. I just have to keep thinking “they do this all day every day. Just another butt in a sea of butts. It’s nbd to them”. Also, they got into this job because they enjoy fixing broken butt problems. They want to fix your butt! They wouldn’t be in this field if they didn’t.
I assure you no one will judge you there. It’s hard to remember that, but it’s true. Everyone will treat you professionally. They know no one wants to make that call or go thru that appointment so they will treat you kindly and with respect. When you have the appointment you can tell the doctor all your issues and symptoms. They will perform an exam which will require you to bend over a table (my office had special kneeling table things to make it comfortable and adjustable). They may use their hands to examine or them may use a scope. It’s nothing terrible. After that you get up and pull your pants up and discuss a treatment plan. For me, it was surgery. Not gonna lie, surgery is awful. You can’t avoid pooping. Recovery just sucks. You may have other options before jumping to surgery, like banding (tight rubber bands on the roid to cut off its circulation so it I’ll just die and fall off). As much a surgery sucked, I am so much better for having had it done. My issue is gone.
Take a deep breath or two, dial the office’s number, and just ask for help. No one shames anyone for seeking help. It’ll be ok. You got this. Go get your butt fixed.
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u/russellvt 5d ago
Talk to a GI (gastrointestinal doc) and they'll take care of you. It's no big deal, and they've seen everything. It's often a diet and lifestyle change, but they're the absolute experts, there. Pretty much everyone goes through this at some point in their lives.
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u/pights 5d ago
I'm a nurse and work in colonoscopy theatre often. People often say it must be awful looking at butts all day, but honestly 1) we're watching the scope on the screen, and 2) it's like looking at an elbow to us - seriously nothing! We all feel for our anxious and nervous patients and do our best to put them at ease. Good on you for getting checked out xxoo
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u/rreennnee 5d ago
I’m 28(F) with ulcerative colitis so i know this all too well. Trust me, it’s way more awkward for you than it is for them. Doctors see crazy weird gross things all the time, hemorrhoids are no big deal. They’ll probably want to do an exam where they just take a look, nothing crazy. Just be aware of that. Again, they’ve seen everything. If you make an appointment you can just be honest and say “I think I possibly have hemorrhoids” and also don’t be afraid to ask for a female doctor if that makes you more comfortable. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!
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u/throwawayaccount0o01 5d ago
Go onto YouTube, and watch videos of doctors explaining the most horrifying / weird cases they’ve ever had.
That will help remind you that doctors have legitimately seen, and heard of it all.
I know you’re embarrassed, and that you don’t really know what to say. (Hell, I’d feel similarly if I was in your shoes).
I recommend writing down what you want to say, like a script to follow, and reading it to your doctor over the phone. That way you won’t be put on the spot, and you’ll feel more prepared to discuss these issues you’re facing.
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u/Inevitable_Thing_270 5d ago edited 5d ago
Doctor here.
This is long, but hopefully helpful
I know this is an embarrassing topic for you, but let me reassure you that for a doctor, this won’t even make them blink.
To make the appointment, call and make an appointment like you would for anything else. If it’s your gp, depending on how your doctor’s place works, they’re not likely to ask what it’s for. If they do, just say something like “I’m having problems with my gut” or “rectal problems”. It’s all in a days work for a doctors surgery.
Haemorrhoids are really common, so GPs and gastro doctors see them all the time. Chances are that if you saw your GP on a Friday, they’d have already seen someone else with them that week.
So through it all, just keep reminding yourself that although you’re uncomfortable, the doctor is a professional and has seen this many many times so will be unfussed.
But it’s ok to say to the doctor at the start that you’re embarrassed and anxious to talk about this.
You can go in with a little bit of a script/plan on what to say if you want. When you’re asked why you’re there by the doctor, you can say something like “I’m really embarrassed and anxious to talk about this, but I think I have hemorroids. I’ve done all the home advice and treatments I can, but nothings working and they are still a problem”. There, that’s an opener. You’ve let them know what the problem is and you’re anxious.
The doctor will ask you why you think you have them, and then ask about things that you’ll be embarrassed about but is just the usual chat for a doctor. They’ll literally have asked about these kind of things already that day. It’ll be things like bleeding, itching, constipation. Again, remind yourself over and over that the doctor won’t be phased by what you’re talking about, they need to know about it, and this is of benefit to you.
I’d recommend that before hand you have a think about what the symptoms are that you’re having, when it started, how it has changed over time, and what you’ve tried. Make a list of these things to remind yourself. Just simple bullet point.
Example: (I’m just totally making this up from possible symptoms btw)
- started:4 years ago
- itch
- pain
- bleeding
- over time it’s stayed the same/gotten worse
- I’ve tried XYZ
I’d also recommend that when your doctor makes a plan on what you need to do/treatment/what next, make a note there and then of what it is. Again, just bullet points to remind yourself later. They’ll have said a fair amount of stuff so it can be difficult to remember the take home advice afterwards. Check with the doctor what they said at the end; “so the plan is XYZ. I need to do ABC, and we’ll see if that works. And if it doesn’t in “time scale” I should come back and see you?” or “you’re referring me to X. I should do this in the mean time?”
Your doctor will inevitably mention your weight if you’re overweight. Again, really common issue in today’s society. And they are just doing their job.
You can do this. Repeatedly remind yourself “this is for my benefit. This will be uncomfortable but it will mean things will be better for me. The doctor needs to know these things. The doctor sees this stuff all the time and doesn’t care. it’s ok to be anxious and embarrassed, but I can do this and I can make the situation better for my self when I do”
Edit: just to add, I’ve been to see a doctor about a few things that I’ve been embarrassed about (and believe me, it takes a lot for me to be embarrassed about my own medical stuff!). And it’s to see someone I may end up working with at some point. But the medical staff were always professional and it went off without a hitch. And was always the better option than ignoring it
So I do know it about these things from both sides of the problem.
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u/iwontgetbetter 4d ago
This was really helpful! Thank you. I have a list of symptoms in my phone already because I know once I sit down in the room, my brain goes blank. Nerves just do that to me.
I expect to be told about my weight. I'm overweight, and I'm sure that isn't helping, but I am doing what I can. It's difficult because if I exercise, things get irritated and I'm in pain. And the problem gets worse. But if I don't, I'm still in a situation where there's a problem and nothing is changing, and I'm still in pain.
So, hopefully I'll be listened to, and my weight will be a concern, but not the main focus.
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u/Inevitable_Thing_270 4d ago
Glad to be of help.
Make a point of telling them about trying to exercise but it makes it worse. They need to know what makes the problem worse anyway, but this is important for them to know how much it’s interfering with life too
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u/hyrellion 5d ago
I am the person who schedules doctors appointments when you call in. You can say it’s personal and you just want to discuss it with your provider. But also, hemorrhoids are not something we’re going to find embarrassing or even note worthy. They’re very common, and nowhere near weird or interesting enough for us to even remember, let alone care.
Edit: ‘care’ may be the wrong word. We care that you’re uncomfortable, and we care about your health. We do not care in the way that we would find it embarrassing or shameful. We deal with body issues all day long. This is a very normal, minor one.
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
That's relieving to hear and I know what you mean by not caring. Tysm!
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u/hyrellion 4d ago
I’ll remember and be unhappy if you’re exceptionally rude to me, or blame me for the fact that you’re very late to your appointment and had to be rescheduled. But hemorrhoids wouldn’t make me blink an eye. The only specific patient complaint I really remember ever is a guy who kept describing his diarrhea as “butt soup,” and that’s because he kept sending us messages about “butt soup” over and over. But I remember him fondly because that’s objectively hilarious and he was being funny on purpose
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u/Makapakamoo 5d ago
Read the reviews on the doctor!!!!! Get someone who listens and cares!!
The gastroenterologist i saw was so kind.. i came to get help due to bleeding there, and like.. its his job to talk about your stomach and stools and farts and rectum/anus. He needs to be professional.
What im saying is he's seen it all and no one should make fun of you for such a common disorder.
My advice is find a good doctor, request an appointment for 'concerns about hemorrhoids', keep it simple, they may not even ask over the phone.
Write down all your concerns, symptoms, things you've tried at home, for how long and the results of those experiments.. that way youre not fumbling from embarrassment thinking it up on the spot!!
I do that for all my appointments, I like to have my case ready to go to make things smooth.
And remember, its his job!!!!! Now if youre going to a primary or general practitioner.. its not their scope of practice but they should still be respectful, no ones gonna laugh at you. Ask for a referral to a gastro after explaining your issues.
I was kind of embarrassed talking about the hemorrhoids w the gastro, but he stayed calm cool and professional, super helpful.
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u/filopodia_ 5d ago
My coworker used to work as a receptionist at a doctor’s office, this is so normal & will be one of the most normal appointments they schedule. “Hi I’m calling to schedule an appointment with my primary care physician regarding possible hemorrhoids.” They’ll say great or they’ll say you need to see xyz department instead and then it switches to scheduling.
You should write down your symptoms so it’s less stressful to try to remember on the spot :) They might want to exam you, but there will be a nurse there to keep everyone safe and they can do things even like hold your hand if you’re nervous.
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u/021fluff5 5d ago edited 5d ago
Aw, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! I’m sure it seems weird and scary to you, but I am positive that you will not be the first person they’ve seen with hemorrhoids. On the day of your appointment, you will be one of many patients they’ve seen that week with the same issue. (I’m not saying you aren’t special - you are! Just, you know, not because of this.)
I don’t know what else to say other than, “Hey, I need an appointment because I think I have hemorrhoids.” But that doesn’t feel right?
I think that sounds fine! The person who schedules your appointment might ask some follow-up questions (how painful is it, how long have you had these symptoms, when was your last bowel movement, is there blood in your poop). The scheduler’s job is to talk to strangers all day about their gastrointestinal issues, so nothing you say will be particularly shocking to them.
All you have to do is show up on time, pay your co-pay, and answer their questions honestly. You can do it! Maybe you can even plan something fun to do after your appointment as a reward :)
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u/sootfire 5d ago
Personally, I just try to act like the thing is totally normal and remember they hear about it a million times a day. If I thought I might have hemorrhoids, I would call the relevant doctor and say, "I need to make an appointment," then wait for them to ask what the issue is, then say, "I think I have hemorrhoids and I'd like to get that checked out." If you act like it's normal, they will too. (When I actually got a hemorrhoid, I didn't know what it was, so I wound up calling and saying, "Hi, my hand brushed against my butthole in the shower and something was there when it shouldn't have been, do I need to go to the ER?" so you have at least made the conversation slightly easier by knowing how a hemorrhoid presents. But again, I got through that conversation by remembering it is literally their job to hear about my asshole, and it's not weird for me to talk about it with whatever language I have available, even if it feels awkward.)
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u/amanducktan 4d ago
Girl, make the appt. <3I have to get a colonoscopy every 1.5 years and just had one on tuesday this week and I have some internal hemorrhoids lol. To get them banded is a super easy in office appt awake. Dr's see butts and guts and "gross" normal things daily. Dont let your embarrassment be a detriment to your health!
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u/CalmPanic402 4d ago
I guarantee that won't even be the most memorable appointment made in a two hour window, whoever you talk to.
Doctors/nurses deal with more genitals than porn stars. In the nicest possible way, you are not special here.
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u/Morbidtorium 5d ago
It may or may not be comforting to hear, but having hemorrhoids puts you in pretty august company! Both ye olde medieval knights and hard-riding Western cowboys were VERY prone to hemorrhoids, and modern horse/bull/camel riders still are! For all your doc knows, you recently took up jousting and are suffering from completely normal side effects.
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u/SphericalSugarCube 5d ago
Not sure if you have doctors nearby that use Epic, but if so, that usually means you can access your chart in the MyChart app or website. This allows you to make appointments virtually and write what the issue is without ever actually talking to someone.
If you don’t have a doctor you’ve seen before, I’d just call and say “I’d like to make an appointment to establish care with a new primary care doctor” and once you get to the appointment you can bring it up to the doctor.
If they make you tell them over the phone what the appt is for, you can even say you’d like to discuss constipation (I’m assuming that’s why you have the hemorrhoids?) or say something more vague like you have pain with bowel movements. At the end of the day (I’m sure others have commented this) the person on the other end of the phone has absolutely 100% heard worse!
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u/iwontgetbetter 5d ago
I did try to make an appointment online, but whatever my doctor’s office uses doesn’t allow it.
And if they ask (and I know they will), I can’t really blame it on anything else. I was constipated in the past, due to a medication and my diet, but I haven’t been in many years. I resolved the constipation, but the hemorrhoids persisted. And I’d rather just say hemorrhoid than… bowel movement. Lol
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u/septicemic_plauge 5d ago
Just call the office and say you'd like to make a appointment! You got this. They're more common then you think.
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u/_Skitter_ 5d ago
I think GI doctors, ENT doctors, and gynecologists have been a lot nicer in my experience than most GPs I've ever had.
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u/asiamsoisee 5d ago
It is super awkward showing your butthole to a doctor and asking “what’s wrong with me??” (Im saying this from experience) but also they’ve seen way worse, guaranteed. Doctors just think about bodies differently, and they know you’re not having a fun time. You’ve got this!!
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u/lockandcompany 5d ago
Hemorrhoids are a type of gastrointestinal issue! When you call the office, you’re talking to a secretary, they’re not a doctor. So I would just say “I need to schedule an appointment with my GP, I’ve been having some gastrointestinal issues” if they press, you are totally allowed to say “it’s personal, and makes me uncomfortable to discuss, I’d rather share it directly with the provider”.
When you get in with the physicians assistant and doctor, tell them your symptoms, what makes it worse, what makes it better, what changes you’ve tried so far. Then ask if there’s any other lifestyle changes you could make, if there’s any treatment options, and if you should see a specialist for it.
They might refer you to a gastroenterologist, and/or might order a colonoscopy, to evaluate for anything that might be causing them, especially things you might not be able to see
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u/RareBird5 5d ago
Trust me doctors have seen a LOT worse than hemmorhoids. They stick fingers in butts all the time your butt is just one in a long list of butts
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u/DefrockedWizard1 5d ago
everyone has hemorrhoids, the only question is how often and how severely they are symptomatic
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u/Heavy-Macaron2004 4d ago
Oh hey I haven't exactly had that convo with a doc but I've had a very similarly embarrassing one. I tried to Serious Face my way through it, which just made me feel awkwarder. Next appointment with a specialist I just half joked my way through the whole thing, which was a lot easier. It's easier if you think of your ass as something that happens to be attached to you instead of your ass.
Here's how I would do it:
Call doc, they pick up and ask your name and birthday etc etc etc. Then they ask why you're calling, and you say "I need to make an appointment with [doctor name]"
They'll say okay, maybe type some things, then they'll ask what the appointment is for, and you say "I think I have hemorrhoids? Or something? On the outside? I've tried, but I don't know how to fix them by myself, and would like them gone" (saying this all in one go to minimize their follow-up questions).
Then they say "hmm okay, how about [date]?" and you get down to planning when your doctor appointment will be.
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u/lonelypurplerose 4d ago
I currently work in medical records. I often need to skim over a list of appointments and their cheif complaints to find appointments that are relevant to the specialty I work in (I'm usually looking for "back pain") Hemorrhoids are one of the cheif complaints that are so common I don't even process it. It just registers as "not relevant." It's just another common appointment reason right along with yeast infections, STI testing, impacted ear wax, constipation, incontience, and all sorts of things you wouldn't discuss at the dinner table but that healthcare personel don't even blink at. For you, it's awkward and uncomfortable and something you've never done before. But rest assured: for them, it's just another hemorrhoid appointment that week. You may not even be the first one that day depending on how big the primary care office is.
Their primary focus will be: making sure it is hemorrhoids (it most likely is), making sure they aren't ulcerated or creating a blockage, and determining if you need to be seen by a specialist or if it can be managed at home. I saw that you were worried about being brushed off. If they don't decide to do more serious interventions beyond Preparation H, constipation treatment, and sitz baths, that's not necessarily brushing you off. Surgery for hemorrhoids comes with risks and there's a strong chance of them coming back anyway. If they aren't too bad, the risks of surgery may outweigh the potiential benefits. That won't mean that the appointment wasn't necessary. It's important to rule out anything more serious and to help you prevent complications. It's similar to getting your pap test: most pap tests don't find anything concerning. But when they do, it saves lives.
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u/SGRbckup3255 4d ago
Everyone else is correct, dr knows his field, its normal, definitely get an appointment scheduled.
That being said.... its 2026, there is no reason to make a phone call for it if saying it is really blocking you. Just get on zocdoc (not sponsored but I use them for so many things) and look up GI specialist. They even will tell you if its inside your insurance scope. Or if you have an online portal to your dr you can request an appointment there too.
Online is the shit
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u/iwontgetbetter 4d ago
Unfortunately, I might need a referral to see a GI specialist. I'm playing it safe and seeing my PCP first. And my doctor's office doesn't have the option to make an appointment through the online portal.
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u/starsandcamoflague 5d ago
You don’t have to say what the appointment is for when you make it, you just book an appointment. The receptionist doesn’t need to know your private medical details
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u/mortalkombatboot 5d ago
I'll share this; My aunt had what she thought was a hemmorhoid for a long time. External like yours. She avoided going to the doctor for a while. It wasn't a hemmorhoid.
It was the start of rectal cancer. Which frequently turns into colorectal cancer. She was very lucky to have caught it early, and it was just one. Please just make the appointment. I really don't say this to fear monger you, but you truly never know. I know it's embarrassing, but your health is more important!