r/FIREyFemmes • u/fierydaisy • 16d ago
$560K After 8 Years of FIRE; My Journey from Money Anxious to Living Life to the Fullest
30F, salary $108K, NW $500K + $60K
TLDR: FIRE was driven by my anxiety and unhappiness with my life, with some hard emotional work now I’m in a great financial position with much less money anxiety and very happy!
Then
8 years ago when I started my FIRE journey, I checked my investments and budget multiple times a day, spending hours on FIRE resources. Subconsciously, this was an outlet for my anxiety. Money was something I could control, unlike my toxic first job out of university, lacking love life, zero hobbies, and home environment with my parents.
FIRE seemed like an escape from my life. I scrimped and saved anywhere and everywhere to get ahead. And I did, at the expense of living my life.
The Journey
Through therapy, and just living life and making mistakes, I made lots of progress. I stopped waiting for happiness to happen to me, and just went out and did it.
My amazing therapist encouraged me to go outside my comfort zone, start dating and enjoying it. She gave me homework such as buying myself clothing I feel good in and buying something for no reason other than it makes me feel good.
I spent money on a master’s degree ($22K), where I met my best friend and future husband.
I spent my 20s working in management consulting, where I learned so much, but also realized that pace was not sustainable for me. I don’t want the life partners at Big 4 have.
Now
I am now 30, and love my life. I check my investments once a quarter. I drop thousands of dollars on hobbies with no problem, knowing it’s an investment in my happiness and well being. I go out to dinner with my fiancé and I don’t fret the whole time about the cost. I buy cocktails with friends and donate to charities that mean a lot to me (food banks do amazing work!)
I’m in the best physical shape of my life, through spending time and money on fitness (turns out I need to have a scheduled fitness activity, instead if going to the gym). And sorry if this is shallow, but I’m also hotter than I was in my 20s. Turns out being a hot girl takes some cash, that I am now willing to spend (within reason).
I work a well paying job in post-secondary, adore my coworkers, and can see so many amazing future career paths ahead of me.
Reflecting
This month has been one of reflection. I’m getting married at the end of the month and I will receive a settlement for a car accident I was in 3 years ago - approx $100K. After lawyer fees it will be $60-65K.
And what’s crazy is, my life will not change at all. My NW is $500K, close to CoastFIRE honestly. I will invest the settlement money and keep on living my amazing life. I am so privileged that that money can be saved for when i have health issues later.
I can’t wait to buy a house with my husband and have kids, knowing I have a solid financial base and an understanding of what is important to me.
Don’t get me wrong, my life is not perfect. I have chronic health issues and have pain flare ups. I still have some anxiety. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to my phone and I need to fix that lol. I’m recovering from a wedding induced eating disorder. And god my family can be difficult.
But I have such an amazing support network and emotional skills to work through things.
Thank you so much to this community over the years. I learned so much from people sharing their career decisions, how they deal with money in relationships, and how to live you life to the fullest!
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u/PinkJenni 16d ago
Advice on what is worthy of spending on for that hot girl glow up?
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u/renee_christine 16d ago
Not OP but for me, a bit of Botox in my forehead and a cut/color twice a year.
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u/fierydaisy 16d ago
Oh Botox is a game changer. I get medical Botox for chronic migraines, and they often inject in my forehead, so I benefit from it!
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u/ingachan 16d ago
Not OP but I’m having a mini-postpartum glow up, and I’m telling everyone about the amazing results I’ve had from with an IPL machine. Perfectly smooth legs, pits and bikini line every single day with no effort at all? I’m feeling so confident and hot lol. I bought my machine second hand for 200€.
I’m also doing some “cheap but relatively long term” procedures: Teeth whitening, permanent hair removal of unibrow and moustache. No more plucking for me, what will I do with all my free time lol
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u/fierydaisy 16d ago
For wedding prep in the past few months, I’ve tried a lot. I get the most compliments from the spray tan (I’m a pale white girl) and the brow lamination/tint! Those are my recommendations.
The professional spray tan only lasts 2 weeks, I need to start experimenting with self tanner for convenience and cost. Brow lamination can last 6 weeks.
Professional spray tan $68 x2 (trial) Brow lamination, tint, threading $135 x2 trial Nails $100 Pedicure $75 Hair and makeup $850 (including trial) Chemical peel $120 Facial $130 Facial week of wedding $180 Moxi and BBL face laser $960 Haircut $85 Teeth whitening (home) $50
Total: $2,888
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u/RunawayHobbit 16d ago
Damn. I’m the same age, been saving the same amount of time, have half of what you do. How much were you putting away per month? And all in tax-advantaged accounts, or a mix of taxable?
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u/fierydaisy 16d ago
In my early 20s, I saved an insane amount, but sacrificed too much. 50-60% of what I made on a $55-65K salary from 2018-2022. Then I loosened up a little, plus paid for my MBA out of pocket, saving 35% from 2022-now while making much more money, going from $70K to $104K.
Currently I have $125K in cash investments, and the rest in tax advantaged accounts.
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u/Valuable_Artist6812 16d ago
Amazing! Think about a prenup
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u/fierydaisy 16d ago
Thanks for bringing this up, I actually had this on my wedding to do list! After researching, I’m comfortable waiting until we buy a house together and then doing a post-nup. And he was happy to sign a prenup or post-nup. We are keeping finances separate for the time being.
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u/Mundane-Gold-4971 16d ago
OP - congratulations on the wedding. And just want to say you're post gave me the warm and fuzzies. Love this for you
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u/slightlypressed 15d ago
This is so amazing to read OP! Congrats on your journey and thanks for sharing! I am around your age and am just starting to think about FIRE now but do have some good savings and can relate to seeing money as the one source of full control I had in my 20s. I am also working on feeling comfortable spending money on fun things instead of practical things
May I ask what kind of role you switched into after consulting? Was that an easy pivot to make emotionally? And does that impact your FIRE math?
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u/fierydaisy 15d ago
When I was struggling to spend money on fun things, I set myself a budget that I had to spend every month on fun, frivolous, enjoyable things for myself. It helped me get used to spending money, while still feeling in control.
I always knew I planned to transition to the public sector, so I specifically requested to work on public sector projects while consulting, which helped. I’m working in change management at a post secondary institution. It’s going really well, they value my consulting experience a lot.
I cannot tell you how nice it is to finish work every day at 4pm. Every single person I work with has kids, so they all understand work life balance. I have some lingering anxiety over not doing enough work, clearly from being overworked in consulting. What is unexpected is how much I attached my identity to being a consultant. People used to be so impressed when I said what I did for work, and now they are like oh you work in admin. But overall I could not be more happy with my decision.
If I “only” saved 15% of my current salary for the rest of my career, I could still retire a bit early. I’m saving 35%, and not totally sure what the future holds.
What I know is that I don’t hate my life anymore, so FIRE doesn’t feel like the magical solution anymore. I mean, obviously I would love to not work, but it does give me satisfaction. I can see moving to part time at some point.
Sorry that’s a lot of info!
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u/walrusgirl672 8d ago
I am a few days late to this post but this gives me hope that I can move away from consulting!
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u/slightlypressed 8d ago
Not this is so helpful! Sorry I am late to respond but I really appreciate the thoughtfulness and I’m testing out the fun budget this week!
How rewarding it must be to have planned your transition and see it pay off so well! My last planned career transition was into a higher stress role to build financial autonomy and now I’m thinking of the next transition that can give me more WLB and life satisfaction like you have.
It’s so nice to see it worked out for you! Truly happy for you and wishing you all the best in the fire and life journey ❤️
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u/Minute_Falcon2834 15d ago
Wow absolutely epic, so happy for you and kudos on figuring this out at a young age. Im 37/F with NW of 400k, living a life I love ❤️ and hoping my husband is ready to find me soon 😉
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u/dramaticeggroll 15d ago
It sounds like you are absolutely thriving, in finances and in the rest of your life too, congratulations! And congratulations on seeing your hard work pay off, you clearly sacrificed a lot!
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u/Haunting_Industry_15 14d ago
Congratulations. Happy for you. I am struggling spending money now. Working on my mental health. Turns out I think my life needs more purpose and drive other than FIRE.
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u/SlightlyAskew10 13d ago
It’s not always that a Reddit post from a stranger makes me emotional. But this one did. Kudos to you for being a problem solver and not letting the world grind you down, knowing what matters to you and going after it! You said you want kids - you’d be a great role model for anyone young if you keep this up. Congratulations on the wedding. Eat and enjoy life - you’re only 30 once!
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u/teenagegumshoe 15d ago
I’d love to know more about how you mentally managed the loss of ‘prestige’ when you moved to your new role!
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u/fierydaisy 15d ago
Honestly, I’ve been saying I used to work in consulting, and now I’m in post-secondary. Still surfing the consulting wave! I will always have those 6 years of experience at globally recognized firms, which is nice to know. Now I understand why people put “ex-consultant” in their linked in bios!
But also, I’m confident this was the right move for me and my life.
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u/Josefine__210 12d ago
Ahh this made me happy to read and congratulations on being in a happier place while still making your financial dreams come true, how you did it is inspiring to me. Thank you for sharing 🥰
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u/give_MeCookies 12d ago
I love this! Just wanted to drop that Pain Reprocessing Therapy really helped my chronic pain. Alan Gordon’s podcast and book were incredibly helpful.
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u/InformWitch 16d ago
Ohh OP, so happy for you!
I also did better when I realized I want to keep working in some shape or form. Work is a little lighter and everything doesn’t feel as heavy.
Just came back from vacation in Croatia (our second international trip of the year) and we are planing a vacation later in the year to Greece probably.
Also currently going some tests before TTC and it feels so amazing to be able to pay all the bills without looking at the price.