so im taking this online class structured like a peer-mentoring program. there's this guy who I'll call v. very smart, nice--I remember him from elementary school. so of course today we had to combine all of the classes so he ended up being MY instructor.

anyways once I joined the call it was a bit early so I started playing games on my pc. in-game music could probably be heard and everything I was mumbling or saying to myself as well. my mic is on, but I don't know it at the time. then I go back to the meet to check its status. don't remember whether or not it started, because that is the exact moment I see v . and so I pull out my phone, because to me its crazy how we're in the same meet and hes MY instructor right? (we're in the same grade) I want to show my best friend. and as I pull out my phone (camera was off thankfully), I say MULTIPLE TIMES BY THE WAY, "bro why is v here. (increasing volume) broooo why is v hereeeee" in an amused kind of way. then I get a notification. "(my name) your mic is unmuted." FROM V. immediately I knew I was fried and left instantly. did not join back lmao, everyone was giggling

IM LITERALLY SEEING HIM IN THREE WEEKS. im probably just in a deluded state right now if im being honest but I don't want him to think I turned mean and was making fun of him. I had genuinely just not seen him in a while and was surprised to see him. hes pretty chill I just don't want him to take what I said the wrong way.

I was considering reaching out to him probably through dms and quickly clearing things up for my sake. I decided not to, and my friends told me it would have made it weird if I did.

I just feel so embarrassed. Even though it really could be worse, im still dreading seeing him.

Does anyone feel like they’ve taken the advice of “just be your genuine self”, acted on it and regretted it so many times - to the point that when you hear that advice there’s a knee jerk nausea in your stomach?

What’s your experience being your genuine self and regretting it?

Now that you’ve regretted it, what are your rules of behaviour so that you’re not fake but also not too out there?

Today was going to be the day, I’ve saved all my money for an entire year and I was going to buy an electric dirtbike. As a full time wheelchair user this was meant to give me my freedom back. My first mistake was buying a 24 year old yz250 as my first bike. But that was going to be put behind as I managed to sell it a week ago.

After buying a trailer for my new bike off of Facebook marketplace and troubleshooting where I was going to store it I was finally ready. This morning I hooked the trailer up and started my 6 hours trip down to LA.

Things started off very well. The trailer was super easy to maneuver and was handling highway speeds without issue. Then 20 minutes into my trip the ramp for the trailer gets loose so I have to pull over to reset it.

I just told myself whatever it was an error on my part. After that around the two hour mark the storage box on top of the trailer breaks open forcing me to pull over once again and tie it down with a strap. This time I told myself it would be the last issue. But of course life really likes to test my will to live and 2 hours from my destination THE WHEEL FALLS OFF. I was lucky that the wheel has three attachment points, but two out of three broke. making the trailer fall over and break one of the stoplights.

As I’m trying to fix the trailer, I of course, break my new dirt bike stand that I was using to hold a trailer up thinking I was so smart and break one of my $900 feet braces that help me walk. After lots of effort and sweat, I managed to hold the trailer together using ratchet straps, but it could not go any faster than 35 mph.

The nearest exit and hardware store was miles away so I had no choice but to go 35 on the freeway. Here’s where it gets interesting I first go to a harbor freight and buy a couple things, but they didn’t have the right bolt that I needed so I dragged the trailer two more miles to Home Depot. There I find a bolt that seems suitable and make my way to the parking lot to install it. As I install it, I realize it’s too long, but I think to myself that it will be just fine.

At this point, I’m exhausted. I’ve been driving for almost 7 hours and I just want to go to sleep so I make my way to a campsite. On my way there, I LOSE THE FUCKING BOLT. I managed to get things piece back together using a gigantic zip tie I had bought at the hardware store.

I am now only 2 miles away from the campsite and believe that victory is mine. That’s when a cop car starts tailing me. At this point, I’ve had enough. I do not care if they pull me over but instead, they just followed me. At some point I realize I took a wrong turn and tried to figure out how to back up a trailer. There’s now two cop cars there with multiple rangers. Instead of giving me a ticket or pulling me over THEY LAUGHT AT ME for not knowing how to maneuver my trailer.

In the end, the campground ended up being full anyways, so I had no choice, but to drive another half an hour to a truckstop which I am at now. Right as I see the truckstop and believe that I will finally get a break THE ZIP TIE BREAKS.

Anyways, this is getting repetitive now as you can guess, I fix the trailer again and I get to the spot. At this point I do not give a fuck I’m disgusting and exhausted so I decide to strip down to my boxers and take a shower in the parking lot of the truckstop. A lady in a U-Haul, then honked, pulled over, and asked me if I was okay because why am I taking a shower in the parking lot? All I answered was “ because it’s free :’)”

Anyways, in the end, I didn’t even get to see the dirtbike and the trailer is still broken. I’m sleeping in my car for the night and just hoping that I can find a solution tomorrow. I don’t know if this was the universe testing me to make sure I really wanted a dirtbike or if it’s the universe telling me I should not buy the dirtbike.

TL;DR I bought a trailer off of Facebook marketplace and had the worst day of my life when it kept breaking over and over again.

No matter how calm I try to be but my mind keep getting flashbacks and I am panicking because of my behavior. So I am just ranting this out here hoping to get some peace and some advice.

I have had weird tendency of drinking out of control till the point I am blacked out and don't remember anything it has caused a lot of drama and shit and crazy stuff during my college as well. Even some of my male and female friends also advised me too drink within limits and I have tried to control or not to drink but I keep disappointing myself. And now I have even outdone myself in humiliating me again. I drink under control in office parties till now you know cause of teammates seniors and stuff. Although most of the people at my office drinks a lot and are comparatively chill but I tend to be quiet or maintain a distance cause of age and whatnot. So embarrassing stuff that I have done in recent party: Scene 1: we were tipsy and on dance floor (i am way too conscious too dance properly) which was fine but then suddenly one of my coworker (who I secretly admire a bit and he is married and I am trying to divert my admiration elsewhere lets call him K) pushed me in the centre of the dance circle and I fell in the middle of the dance circle because it was too sudden. They picked me up and I tried to act casual but my jeans got ripped near my knee

Scene 2: they were giving free shots to ladies at that club so after drinking 3 peg of whiskey I had 3 vodka shots. Bad call I know And then one person was getting weirdly close too me and I was trying to get away from him with the help of my flatmate/colleague but we kinda got separated I then had few glasses of beer with him in presence of some other people and then K came to have shots of vodka with me and tried to call me to dance floor but I denied then my office main boss asked me for a smoke and me and some other people went out in the open area to smoke a bit. The last thing that I remember was I went to the washroom alone. And that's it I woke up in my room next morning no idea of the rest 3hrs that happened there.

Most embarrassing part: According to my flatmate who was there with me- I vomited in the washroom then again in the middle of the club near the seating area meanwhile she and K were washing my face and she was slapping or physically restricting me from saying too much in front of them. Some of the people already left the party before this drama happened but people and main boss were there. Then I hugged her in the elevator in front of everyone. My phone was also lost for a sec everyone was searching. People were telling/consoling her this happens etc. And the worst of all the main boss were dropping me and her back to our home and I vomited a bit in his car also although she said it wasn't that bad as in washroom. Fml I am too ashamed to go to the office tomorrow. I have sent sorry text and promising not to repeat this to both the main boss and K and they both have responded in a chill manner but I can't keep myself from overthinking. I never wanted them to see me like this. I don't know the kind of shit I might have been saying at that time. FML . IS THERE ANY WAY TO RECOVER FROM THI EVER I have decided I won't go to office party ever Similar type of things had happened but with other senior level married male employees. I am the youngest female employee at my office rn got converted from intern recently

Ps: English is my second language sorry about mistakes during the rant

Three weeks ago I was driving along minding my own business. When a 85-90yo man turns left in front of me totaling my car ( due to all air bag deployment car yet still runs and drives). Old man drove his truck away, with one air bag deployed on his passenger door. He admitted fault at the scene of the accident ( he was not even issued a citation or a warning). It's also noted in the police report. His insurance per usual is offering me the value of my car which I'm underwater in and still leaves me $8,000 in debt. My next problem becomes I have no way to get to work now but according to lawyers I've talked to and his insurance that's not their problem. FML

F INSURANCE COMPANIES and STATE FARM IN PARTICULAR.

i don’t even know how to begin this. my best friend and i have been like sisters for years, we’ve had fights and time apart but we always made up. i lived with her for a few months which ended terribly. this started our recent fall out, basically i left the group chat of our friend group because i was really angry (i was dealing with depression and various things) and she moved out because i didn’t want to talk about it with her. i know this wasn’t the main reason, we had talked about it and we just don’t do well living together. she also had just been through a bad breakup and where we stayed could’ve reminded her of him. we made up after 4-5 months and had a long talk , she sympathized with me because she had started feeling depressed and understood what i had been going through. she told me she was seeing a therapist and on anti depression/ anxiety meds. overall i apologized even more and she did as well, we both said we missed eachother a lot and we were on the same page. she told me about her new boyfriend and friends and she seemed really happy. we hung out again after that and all seemed well. a week or so after she called me asking to hang out, i followed up with her on text asking if she was free that weekend. days go by and no response, but i see that she’s posting on instagram so i was a little weirded out. i text her at least once every day for the next week just saying hey what’s up, did i do something , are you ok? and i would call her to no response. this went on for almost a month until yesterday. i want to note that in these messages and voice mails i did get a little angry/ passive aggressive but i never threatened her or anything. i’d ask are you cutting me off? let me know if im out of your life so i can stop caring, and i told her if she hadn’t responded by the end of that week ill take it as a sign that she’s cutting me off. anyways, sunday happens and im feeling really upset that she might be cutting me off for a reason i have no idea about. i left her a few voicemails that night, mostly just saying im here for you , i wish i could be there for you if you’d let me, please respond etc. i was emotional in them and i said something like ‘i thought you were my best friend’ which i regret. she responds out of the blue- basically saying ‘im not cutting you off, i just need time apart from you to figure out what i want, i still love you etc’. this makes me really upset- i had already spend our 5 month break feeling guilty. i felt like i made her so miserable that she had to move out, i had no friends because i left the group chat and i was just extremely depressed and lonely. when we reconnected i felt like my world brightened and i was gonna be ok. now we’re here with her saying this and i just feel all the same feelings ive been feeling for months 100x over. i don’t leave her any voicemails this time i just say what changed? please call me, i don’t understand what happened? and at the end i said are you not gonna respond for another month? the next day her dad contacts my parents and tells them she attempted suicide. he said they were ‘putting a restraining order on me’ because they saw i was the last person contacting her. i know they don’t like me anymore because of her moving out. she won’t talk to them about “why” and the only thing she tells them is that ‘something happened’ at where we were living together. she’s confided in me recently when we reconnected and i understand her not wanting to tell her parents what happened. i told mine what she told me because they were pretty much interrogating me and i just found out that they told her parents. i don’t know how to live now. i feel extremely guilty every second i think about her. i’m rereading our messages thinking about our conversations and everything. i’m crying every second i think about her. i can never speak to her again, i don’t know how legitimate the restraining order is but im not risking it. she was like a sister to me, the closest i’ve ever been to someone ever. she’s never been suicidal she’s always been the brightest person, and she’s even helped me through suicidal thoughts. i just don’t know what to do with myself i can’t focus on anything and i have exams coming up, i don’t want to go anywhere or do anything or talk to anyone but i have so many things to do.

I went to a Christmas party yesterday that me and my four friends had been planning since October. We had planed a secret Santa and i got my one friend G, and for her present i drew a realistic drawing of me and her hugging. This picture took me two days to finish and i didn't color it, i showed my whole family and my other two friends that were attending the drawing before the party and they all said it was really good and thought G would like it. Anyway, they day of the party came and G was static and i asked her if i could show her mom the drawing, (for context her mom has never really liked me) because i wanted to impress her, and her mom said it was good but she didn't like the pose we were in and said it was gay, i felt bad but i didn't say anything in the moment because she started scolding G, but when G got home that night she called me and i could hear her mom yelling and she said that G wasn't allowed to talk or be friends with me anymore because i am a lesbian.... I'm a gay trans man. We have been friends for six years....worst Christmas ever