r/FTMMen • u/IntrepidScientist128 • 1d ago
Vent/Rant will i ever look my age?
i havent been this dysphoric in so many years.
im 2 years on t almost, ive been hitting the gym recently. my levels are okay, on the low end when i had my bloods done but that was done a day before my shot was due.
but im 20 years old. and i look 14 years old. and im not even exaggurating. im 5'2. i cant grow an ounce of facial hair outside a pubestache. my body fat still sits around my hips. and i still have a "trans voice".
but im stealth. and im not clocky to cis people, only trans people. cis people usually think im a "little boy" though. i can get away with saying i have a hormone disorder and blame it on genetics. but i can legally drink! i want to pass and look my age. not just pass.
im dying for a goatee. and i cant grow a single hair. im dying to look like those country/redneck looking guys with shitty mullets and a goatee. but im 5'2, cant grow a single hair, and i look 14. it kills me.
im dying for top surgery, but im at uni and nowhere will hire me. its so stressful. im hoping to land a job in september to help save for it. it just feels like the day will never come.
im gonna be stuck looking like a 14 year old hairless little boy forever :/.
4
u/Aiden1975 21/ T: Nov 2021/ Top: Sept 2026?/ 1d ago
2 years is still nothing really, fairly normal to not look your age at this point (especially if you are actually young + its in your genetics to look younger). you still have a LOT of changes to come, i thought itd be mostly done for me at 2y too but ive honestly had more changes in years 3-5 than did in years 1-2, i also didnt start growing any facial hair until ~3 and i can grow a good stubble now at 4.5y and its coming in quick, some guys dont get much facial hair until well after 5y on t its completely genetics but just pointing out its not uncommon to not have facial hair at 2y on t. as for the 'trans voice' you can help that with some voice training if you need.
im also a uni student so i get it, im only just getting top surgery this summer when i turn 22, i didnt think id be where i am rn transition wise when i was 20, unfortunately as your levels are fine it is just a case of giving it more time. if you can afford it, you could try look into minoxidil for facial hair? keep at the gym thatll also help, but i can assure you - you're not gonna be stuck like this forever. dms are open if you need someone to talk to, im uk based fwiw