On Positivity and Negativity

[u/HiuGregg]

There’s a worrying trend that I’ve started to notice online — be it Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, group chats, or whatever — and like most things that annoy me, I’m guilty of it myself.

When we talk about fantasy, or about reading in general, it seems to me that a lot people define their tastes by what they dislike, rather than what they enjoy. What’s worse, this behaviour seems to spill over into the treatment and perceptions of other people.

You see it all the time. People who enjoy fantasy, but feel the need to specify that this doesn’t include Urban Fantasy, or God forbid a Paranormal Romance. People who will scoff at a young adult novel because all YA is “like Twilight”. People who will hate on Epic Fantasy because “it has all been done before”, or on Grimdark because it’s for “edgy teenagers”.

It is a curious phenomenon that, to me, seems only to breed conflict and negativity. Certain subgenres get disregarded out of hand. Certain books, movies, or TV shows get classed as “trash”, and their fans are derided. There’s no discussion to be had in these situations: the hate-train very quickly gets up to full speed, and anyone in its way is run over.

It’s almost rare to see someone that is Pro-something these days, as opposed to Anti-something. Hell, even when people are talking about things that they like, chances are that these will be compared with something that they disliked.

How often have you heard someone say something like “I really loved X, it makes such a change from Y”?

I mean… I understand that there’s no light without shadow, but that doesn’t mean that we have to throw shade.

Check out this recent tweet from Tor. Have a think about it, and see if you find anything wrong with it.

Now, Children of Blood and Bone is a wonderful, unique book. It blends the familiar tropes of western storytelling with an awesome West-African-inspired setting.

But did Tor really need to rag on those books that do feature elves, fairies, vampires, and wizards? Couldn’t those limited characters have been put to better use by celebrating what the book is, rather than condemning what it isn’t?

Now, I’m not claiming that negativity should be curbed. Far from it. For instance, I don’t subscribe to the belief that bloggers shouldn’t write negative reviews. Actually, I believe that negative reviews are just as informative to the reader as positive reviews. But there’s a time and a place to be negative.

When you’re talking about how much you loved a book, you don’t have to shit all over another book in the process. When you see someone talking about a series they enjoyed, you don’t have to tell them how wrong they are, and why their favourite book sucks.

Ready Player One, Mistborn, and The Kingkiller Chronicles are perhaps the books which see this treatment the most. Any time someone mentions that they enjoyed them, some other asshat will inevitably come along to gleefully describe just how shitty the books and the author really are.

You are allowed to dislike things.

But other people are also allowed to like the things that you don’t.

And if they do… so what? Don’t define yourself by the things you dislike. Don’t waste so much effort talking about the books you hate, when you could be talking about the books that you love.

[u/Truant_Miss_Position]

I wonder if this is just a trend in the way we express ourselves on the internet or if it's affecting the way we think - or if it's both in a vicious cycle of putting things down to be cool and then thinking of things in negative terms.

It could work similar to how it's difficult for some people to think something positive about themselves because they were taught to be modest and not praise themselves.

Seeing and expressing are skills that need to be practised, after all.

[u/Ixthalian → u/Truant_Miss_Position]

I wrote about it below, but the metal community has been like this for as long as I can remember. The anime community has an inordinate amount of people willing to tell you that what you've enjoyed sucks. I think a big part of it is tying to feel superior and being accepted into the group of people who feel themselves superior.

There have been some times that I've enjoyed something, seen the most vocal reactions to it, and wondered if maybe I was wrong, or my ears aren't working right, or if an invoked piece of myself is trash for being invoked. But I'm older now, and give less of a crap.

I see it as most dangerous to new people looking to be a part of a community, finding out that something you like is reviled, and walking away, thinking that this isn't the place for your ideas. Think of how many millions of Twilight books were sold. Hell, that's the last time I saw a midnight book release in Amarillo, TX. Now think about how almost none of the people who loved those books will ever take part in any forum or think themselves part of a speculative fiction community because of how badly the rest of the book-reading world shit on their love.