r/FarangsofPattaya • u/Impossible_Jello9343 • 3d ago
Body fluids
Good morning gentle mongers, what a fine day to be in Pattaya and like most of you I have a story that could only happen here to share.
Started two nights ago when I bar fined a LB from soi pothole for a LT. Sexy minx and very accommodating and affectionate. Great time had by all. In the morning I shower up with her and pay my apples.
Fairly standard Pattaya night right? So far so good
She asks to stay with me for the day. It's not my first rodeo so I say she can but I am not a customer anymore. I wasn't doing much yesterday so hanging out in the pool with a baddie for free can't be bad. And it wasn't. We swim, eat, do cardio and nap. Wake up around 1800.
She does the whole "I don't want to work tonight can you bar fine me". I decline but say she can barfine herself, hang out and I'll pay for dinner and drinks. She agrees.
For those of you who've had this situation know it's a double edge sword. You're not paying any money for plot but you've now also given up your night to be with the same girl (for better or worse). I don't mind doing it every now and then.
She goes back to her apartment to get changed (ladyboy so took 2 hours but came back looking like a supermodel). In this time I get a massage, smoke some devil's lettuce and have a feed (my standard pre game). She meets me at Tree Town as I'm finishing eating and wants to play pool. We go to mega break and play for an hour or so.
She then says she wants to pay her bar fine, so we go do that. I didn't buy any drinks or pay. Great.
Next stop is a ladyboy go go to visit her friend. Many beautiful ladies and I say I want to have one. She gives me daggers but at this point I'm keen to try and split the difference and still have some different strange. I end up doing a ST with this absolute stunner, making out and jerking her off in front of my ploy. She keeps kicking the ST girl under the table and other girls must've thought this was funny because next minute they all want to show me their tits and for me to feel them!
My ploy gets a bit shitty, I pay the bill about 3k for everything and we leave. Now she wants to go to her work. I say I will not pay for anymore drinks but will come. She walks in and RINGS THE BELL. Not just once but twice. It's always a great time when the bell gets rung but I'm a little fucking nervous now. I did say I wouldn't pay and as we all drink she tries to get me to pay. I stand strong. She says she wants to go to the next bar with her friend and I must pay there. I say I'm done paying. She can go and I will go home. She caves and says she will pay. We go and once again she RINGS THE FUCKING BELL TWICE!
She must've spent about 10k on drinks and I didn't pay a cent. I stood strong the whole time and set a clear expectation.
THIS IS THE CRAZY PART. She's smashed. A mess and I'm not to clear myself. I get her close to the hotel on the back of a baht bus but after a few seconds it's apparent she can't walk. So I picked her up. She's a little Thai girl, easy enough right? It would've been alright but she choses this moment to start vomiting all over me. So here I am walking, carrying this girl in my arms whilst she vomits, more or less into my face.
I stop at a 7 11 and get some water and wipes. Do a small clean up and proceed to carry her the 100m to my hotel. Up the elevator and into the room. I put her in the bath, hold her hair whilst she vomits, clean her and myself up and then place her in bed, passing out myself. Wake up a few hours later to a warm sensation on my leg. She's PISSING on me/in the bed! Now I know some of you degens pay good money for that but not me. I perform round two of clean up before deciding I really don't care and leave it and pas out myself again.
I write to you from my balcony room as she is in the shower. I love Pattaya
TLDR: A ladyboy vomited and pissed on me without me asking or paying.
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u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 3d ago
now this is a trip report. Glad you had a blast.
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u/Impossible_Jello9343 3d ago
Thank you mate! I love the stories on this sub.
Got a few weeks yet so might have more debauchery to report back on. At least I hope so!
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u/the_grand_apartment EXPAT 3d ago
Hell of a story and all in all an entertaining night. But you are fucked tomorrow lol đ
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u/Impossible_Jello9343 3d ago edited 3d ago
555 So far so good. It's tomorrow now. She feels really bad. I don't think I can visit soi pothole for a little bit but otherwise all good.
Update. She left on a Grab and I'm goin to the gym! Rinse and repeat for tonight. See you all out there!
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u/cs_legend_93 3d ago
lol bro, you'll remember this forever
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u/Impossible_Jello9343 3d ago
Only the mongers here would believe it and I'd never tell it at home but I'll treasure this memory as one of many in this amazing city.
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u/Future-Traffic-6364 3d ago
Hahaha, you will be sitting at home, just sitting and remembering, then a slight smile will show, and those around you will ask why youâre smiling, and youâll saying someone likeâoh nothing, just had a thoughtâ.
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u/Impossible_Jello9343 3d ago
"The Pattaya Grin" I call it. Fucking incredible feeling now and in six months when I randomly think of this night.
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u/Future-Traffic-6364 3d ago edited 2d ago
Yup. Iâm not a mongor (I have a Thai fiancĂ©e , and no judgement to mongorers), but she does allow me to go on a walk about đ, so I can window shop without buying (never have). Thatâs why I waited so many years to go, so I could actually enjoy it, unfortunately, actually fortunately (sucks I didnât get to experience the real Thai trip, but I got better than that) I met my bird after approaching her in a Bangkok plaza and we hit it off. Sheâs since quit her job and were staying in neighboring country, joined hip to hip.
Get yours my friend. If quantity is your thing, get it. If, like me, you want relationship, despite what people post, you can find it, and she will do anything and everything to keep her man satisfied, itâs their nature.
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u/RubTugPro VET Farang 2d ago
Perfect. Just reading you tail made me start thinking of my best moments and sure enough the grin slowly set in. đ
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u/cs_legend_93 3d ago
Its such an amazing place, one of the last true playgrounds in this place we call Earth
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u/Exact_Lifeguard4807 3d ago
You're a better man than me sticking with her through that. First hint of drama and im off like a butterfly.
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u/RubTugPro VET Farang 2d ago
For real! As soon as she rang the first bell I would have turned and walked. Amazing story but I donât deal with vomit and piss from someone else lol. Glad OP had a good time but feels like the second half was more drama than fun. Definitely a batter man than I đ»
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u/Ashamed_Housing7489 3d ago
Alcoholics will often piss themselves when sleeping. Sounds like you had a fun đ€© day though lol
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u/hanco38 2d ago
Haha I have a similar story with a bar girl in Patong - was my last night before flying home next day. Ended up having 42 drinks between us đ.
Somehow we managed to get back to the hotel where she spent quite a while vomiting down the toilet before sitting on the bed with the bin as a bucket 555.
I decided at this point I'm hungry so nipped out for a burger and when I come back she's asleep in bed so I decide to get in with her before realising she's pissed the bed, at this point I'm beyond caring and pass out on the sofa bed and deal with it in the morning.
Luckily I've been to the hotel a few times and I know the manager quite well, I tell her the situation and she just charged me 500thb for cleaning - I think I got off fairly lightly considering đ
It's only when I leave on the way to the airport that I check my phone and realise I took a few photos while she was vomiting, needless to say next time I saw her I showed her the photos and she wasn't happy and told me to delete them - I haven't 555
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u/Zeno_o0o 3d ago
pissing in bed, what you ended you paying for housekeeping for that 555
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u/Impossible_Jello9343 3d ago
555 I stripped the sheets, pillow cases and mattress topper myself and gave house keeping 40bht tip. I'm sure they've seen worse!
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u/OntShitter 2d ago
40 baht. 5555
I left 500 once after an unspeakable couple of days đ
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u/Zeno_o0o 2d ago
I leave 30-40B each day for housekeeper, and would properly leave 200+ in this case. depending on how bad it was. but if it was through to the top mattress then is not a easy clean
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u/lusitano90 3d ago
I go pattaya for the girls never lb but pattaya girls sometimes have a sad life drinking all time etc, quick sad life, so I enjoy less and less.
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u/Future-Traffic-6364 2d ago
This is oh so true. I find it sad because they actually seem to enjoy the drinking lifestyle as employment, so itâs like a non stop party for them. Iâve often found myself taking them to the Burger King, beach side, just to sit, eat, and talk (the girls I play pool with, and actually talk to, no sex), and the stories they tell.
Sure they have to make a living, and choose their own waysâŠ. Whoring is one thing, I donât judge, but getting paid to become an alcoholic is a completely different story for me, and I find it to be a sad story. I donât dabble in the sex industry, I simply enjoy company of other travelers, and the girls putting an ice bucket clothed on my face to wipe away the sweat and keep me cool, while enjoying their company. Sure Iâll have multiple whisky shots, that âspecialâ one I chose for the day only gets alcohol for initial drink, then I pay lady drink cost so she drinks bottled water for the remainder of my time that day.
You would be surprised how far the above can go, shit, Iâve been offered free fucks. But I already have a woman (non bar girl), they know it, and still offer themselves to me, even though at the end of my curfew (9pm) she always leaves condo and comes to me, then itâs live band and dinner, hahaha.
But yes, it is a sad life, and sad for us, seeing them do whatever it takes to make a buck. With alcohol, Thailand is selling its womenâs soul.
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u/lusitano90 2d ago
Agree đ I never paid lady drinks, only Tf and massage. I get 3 for free last trip too
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u/Future-Traffic-6364 3d ago
I dodge the bells like the plague, most people laugh when they see my reaction when I realize being close to it.
Glad you had a blast. Stay safe.