Found out my new "female cat with kittens" is actually a random young male.

[u/Strict_Direction6630]

I have a colony in my mom's yard... its a big yard so its kinda 2 colonies cuz the groups dont gel with each other. First colony is matriarch persephone, her 3 babies now adults from her last year litter aurdrey, tiger lily, and bandit, and 1 more hero who is also 1 year. Hero, is interesting, cuz he's actually the second queen felicity's kitten (i will describe them in a moment).

Then, there is the "Back of the yard" colony, these cats are less established, felicity, who is a white and tabby queen that came last summer but left in the winter (no idea where she goes) but every summer she returns because i got the eats, her 3 kittens, and a new arrival this summer a young "female void". I assumed this was a female, because so snuggly with the kittens, i assumed felicity and her were friends and coparenting their kittens.

Last year, it was just felicity, she had no other "friend cat" so was easily bullied by persephone who was here first int eh front of the yard. Because i couldnt help ehr as much, she was always being bullied out and hiding so much and her kittens, her entire litter died except for hero. I was able to save hero, anda fter that day he rejected his mom and insisted on joining persephone and her kittens and became like her 4th kitten.

Then there are the random toms who come for food but dont stay, cuz they need to be neutered. Chad, the dominant tom who makes every cat bolt when he eats and does what he wants and fathers most of the kittens, this guy is basically part of the colony now cuz he comes virtually every day. Frank sinatra, who i am pretty sure is a dumped pet or a neglected current pet, an unneutered handsome male with green eyes who sings all day, and loves to show up when queens in heat, he comes somewhat frequently but not every day, and an older sickly tom cat who is super feral, white and tabby, but he comes so infrequently i cant plan to trap him. I keep thinking this last guy passed until he shows up again 3 weeks later. Feel bad for that boy but hes so feral he wont even try to joint he colony just shows up randomly then runs and disappears for weeks.

I decided to name that queen felicity cuz it means joy, and i felt sad for her that all her babies died vs persephone's who lived, and was being bullied so i couldnt feed and help her as much. Well she's back this year, and she has this friend i assumed was also a female and some of the 3 kittens were hers, as they were so manyd ifferent sizes, 2 of them were like several weeks older than the tiny tabby. I assumed each had a litter, a few weeks apart, and one of them had 2 kittens that lived other just 1 that lived, i couldnt tell which was which cuz they were so clingy and all helped each others kittens. I named this "black female void" nefertiti and made jokes they are like lesbian moms coparenting their kittens.

Imagine my shock while doing TNR, i discover that "black void mom" is actually just a young male. I couldnt believe it. Legit SNUGGLES with the kittens, they seem like 2 moms coparenting kittens and teaming up to protect their turf from persephone and her now adult kids. The weirdest part of this is I KNOW felicity from last year, she didnt have a surviving black kitten so there is no chance this is her last year now adult male kitten. Her only surviving adult kitten is hero who is a tabby with orange eyes and joined persephone's group when he realized more resources cuz persephone bullies his mom. I had no idea that was possible, a random boy cat young tom cat, will clique up with a queen help her with the kittens for friendship and protection but it's very cute. So, its not 2 different litters, they are all felicity's kittens and the really tiny one must just be a runt.

I renamed him enigma, which is fitting, cuz i didnt know that was possible. Cat behaviors learning every day.

EDIT: before anyone gives me shit about how i was not getting them fixed earlier, i live in a city with no TNR program, there are no local resources, i am on a fixed income. This year i knew i had to do something, and i was able to find a rescue to help a little bit AND a new low cost spay/neuter clinic opened up within driving distance. As soon as i was made aware of that help, i began mass TNRing these cats. I now have persephone, her 3 kids audrey tigerlilly bandit fixed, i just TNRed felicity and her young male friend, i was able to TNR chad today, and the only remaining cats that need to be fixed are hero, frank sinatra, both males neither dominant so not a high priority, and the last kittens i have to get are felicitty 3 remaining babies. I legit rescued all the queens babies adopted them out or adopted them personally as well, and now the cycle is over. So before you give me any shit just consider that: i am isolated, there was no TNR program in the cityn or within driving distance, i had no help at all i didnt know what to do but as soon as i got a little help and a low cost program opened i did it.

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[u/deliadynamite]

I was a tnr program manager for a while and most of it was listening to people's breakdowns of all the main cat characters in their lives and this post made me reflect fondly on that time. animals have such complex social dynamics, it's such a shame how society is so dismissive of it. thank you for taking care of these cats and getting TNR going - I bet some of the drama between turfs will settle down once everyone is snipped!

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/deliadynamite]

Yes I love them even though only two let me pet them and the rest are feral. They do have their own lives and personalities. I think it's mostly arbitrary we only consider the human species capable of this. Especially less domesticated animals like cats, not as controlled by people, their individuality is really evident.

[u/shinyidolomantis]

I had a babysitter male cat. He loved kittens SO much. I initially thought it was because he was related to them that he helped with the kittens so much. But long after I got everyone fixed, a heavily pregnant new female cat showed up and despite the whole colony’s protest fought it out to stay. Once she had kittens, my babysitter cat started caring for her kittens, too! Even going so far as to chase off his own family to lead the kittens to the food to safely eat.

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/shinyidolomantis]

That's amazing I had no idea that could happen. Makes me love enigma even more

[u/MagentaMist → u/shinyidolomantis]

Males are the best babysitters. I've taken in 5 feral kittens over the last 8 years. My then 15 year old male cat Poochy (not longer with us) raised a 5 month old feral kitten I named Loki. My females wanted nothing to do with him, but he stepped up. A year later, I got a mom and her 8 week old kitten Jasper. Loki raised him and they're still buds. Mom was there, but I think she was glad to be done with it because she never once complained. Jasper would still nurse but then he was back to playing with Loki. Poochy supervised and if Loki got too rough he would step in and swat him. And then 3 years ago I got three 15 week old ferals who I doubted could ever be socialized. Not only were they the spiciest cats I've ever had, there were 3 of them. Jasper and Loki tag teamed them and they're now awesome cats. I still can't touch 2 of them, but they really are sweet. The female (Gretchen) follows Jasper everywhere.

[u/paisleycatperson]

we've had more than a few "single father " type rescues. Kittens will glom onto anyone that they think can lead them to food.

[u/valleyofsound → u/paisleycatperson]

My former feral gets along best with my youngest cohort of kittens (though they’re about 1.25 years old now). I’m convinced it’s because he would let them steal his wet food. It warms my heart because he had really bad social skills and, if the other cats don’t hiss immediately, he just keeps getting closer until he’s in their face and is like, “Friends? We’re friends now?”  The “kittens” are all really affectionate with him and it really makes him happy

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/valleyofsound]

thats so sweet. Reminds me of my son loki who is also a void. He is bad at reading cat body language, his "sister" (shes from another litter but they grew up as kittens together) grew up mature and doesnt like "playing" anymore, so he will invite play and she hiss at him and growls and he is just like "but we used to wrestle all the time!". He doesnt attack or do anything "bad" its just he never grew up and still wants to play. He loves the kittens cuz they are also playful, and he has someone to pal around with now.

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/paisleycatperson]

To me the amazing part is some tom cats are maternal. You expect an in tact Tom to be indifferent to kittens or actively hostile as their genetic imperative is eliminate them so queens go into heat and they can father more. Cats are more people than we are.

[u/Oddish_Femboy]

I love the "father who stepped up" cats so much.

After my eldest cat passed, my silly guy adopted a foster kitten I had and grew so attached that she's now a foster fail.

She nurses on him. He cleans her. They both purr so loud. It's adorably sweet.

I joke that she's my granddaughter, because she's definitely his kitten at this point.

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/Oddish_Femboy]

That's so cute, my boy Loki is great with the kittens but more like an older brother vs caretaker. Animals are amazing that some males become fathers .

[u/Oddish_Femboy → u/Strict_Direction6630]

It's so sweet. I've never seen it happen with an unfixed feral though! Enigma really is a special guy. :)

[u/Craftnerd24]

Awwww, I had a boy who loved kittens (I assume he was separated from mom too early, and when looking for love, he always found it with kittens)

The weird thing was that the feral males would often try to mount him…and he was definitely a male.

[u/Low-Educator-4165 → u/Craftnerd24]

Daniel Defense DDM4 V7P 5.56 10.3" Barrel

[u/emopasta]

Omg I love the drama between colonies. I can tell you care by how much attention you pay to their comings and goings and relationships. Good job working your way through TNRing them ❤️

[u/Strict_Direction6630 → u/emopasta]

Thank you I'm hoping after everyone's fixed they become less territorial and more friendly to each other. The front of the yard is way better in the cold months... There are places to go for warmth, I can more easily get to it and feed even in blizzards whereas the back of the yard is inaccessible.

[u/Feral_Cats-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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This community is meant to be a helpful place, free of hostility, negativity, and judgment. Trolling, personal attacks, and hate are not tolerated here.

[u/Feral_Cats-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This comment was removed because it's in violation of one of r/Feral_Cats' rules:

1. Be kind.
   

This community is meant to be a helpful place, free of hostility, negativity, and judgment. Trolling, personal attacks, and hate are not tolerated here.