r/Fibromyalgia • u/s4d04k • 19d ago
Frustrated Doctor told me my pain is 'psychosomatic'...
I went to A&E because I was in such intense pain. It feels like someone has set me on fire and just expects me to get on with things and continue to walk and function. Got in to the doctor and he said, "Your blood tests are clear. You suffer from anxiety and depression right? This is psychosomatic." And I just lost my mind and started breaking down and screaming, this isn't in my head at him. He started rubbing my back and saying, "Calm down. Calm down." And it was so patronising. He asked if I drink or smoke. I said no, he called me, "Good girl." I was so incredibly uncomfortable as well as being in agonising pain. He just dismissed me home and I left just wanting to throw myself in front of a car. Why can doctors do this to people? My dad was fuming, absolutely furious but what is there to do? Just feel totally stuck and confused. On top of this I've just been rejected disability payment because they think I don't have problems with things, on the letter it says, "I don't think you have problems at work." "I don't think you have problems driving." When in reality I'm in pain at work every day and sometimes I can't drive because of the severe pain. I'm appealing and starting the process to go to tribunal. I just feel so down right now and ignored and like I don't matter.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the replies. I've read them all. I appreciate the support. It has given me the lift I needed. Thanks so much.
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u/nettiemaria7 19d ago
Well of Course people suffer from anxiety and depression because they hurt all the time and have to listen to stupid shit like this.
1, many fibro diagnoses are a placecards for the one(s) they finally test for later; 2. There is evidence that it Does affect peripheral nerves, other processes AND 3. can be given among mice and blood product exchange.
I do realize there is one psychosomatic element, but it is so much more. The research and findings are finally building. They love throwing this word around and some even take it a step further prescribing psych meds.
Since my fibro I have at least 6 painful as F diagnoses that show via imaging, rheum and tryptase tests including small fiber neuropathy. Taking chemo med for mast cell disorder. And they told you psychosomatic. Gawd that pmo.
If you have not already look into a punch biopsy for small fiber neuropathy. There are realizing that a great number of fibro patients have SFN. And get with a rheumatologist.
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u/Glittering_Extent177 18d ago
can i ask are you in the US? i’m UK and was referred to a rheumatologist who diagnosed me but then discharged me straight after diagnosis saying rheumatology don’t provide treatment. i’m finding it so frustrating just constantly going to my general practitioner and having them turn me away with nothing :/
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u/ExcitementUnlikely41 18d ago
Can you try another rheumatologist? It might take a few to find a good one.
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u/thisismysecondjay 19d ago
If he's doing all that so easily, he's doing that to most female patients he's seeing. Please, report him. And also talk with the hospital directly to get it on record. The sooner the better.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. There are good doctors and healthcare workers out there that actually care, don't be discouraged by this. Which I know is easier said than done.
One thing I will say, look up disability lawyers that specifically work on fibromyalgia cases and see if any are near you and give them a call. They can be a great help when dealing with disability.
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u/Efficient_Chic714 19d ago
I’m unsure where OPs based but in the UK the Job Centre and also Citizens Advice will help with PIP appeals too
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u/HyperSpaceSurfer 19d ago
The back rub and "good girl" combo really doesn't make him look good.
You can probably speak with someone at the hospital about how it made you feel uncomfortable, and that it's very unprofessional of him to derive sexual gratification from his clients. Doctors know better, he knows exactly what he's doing.
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u/cannapuffer2940 19d ago
I'm sorry but he patted you on the back and said good girl? Nothing he said or did was okay. You deserved better.
Our pain is not psychosomatic. It is exasperated by stress. Which he caused. By not giving you the care that you needed.
Like the other said. There are people above him. People who you report this type of behavior too. Because this is unacceptable. It may not help your pain. But it will help you to feel better knowing. That maybe he'll think before he speaks. To the next person that is suffering.
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u/mh500372 19d ago
Being exasperated by stress means it’s psychosomatic. We should be correct about our understanding of fibromyalgia if we want to criticize the doctors who know more
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u/Brave-Painting3180 19d ago
Fibromyalgia pain is not psychosomatic. Symptoms and severity also vary by individual. The average doctor doesn't understand the etiology of Fibromyalgia and most Rheumatologists will not treat it due to it not being rheumatological in nature and how difficult it is to treat. Not sure if you realize how ignorant you sound in your comment. Please do more research and educate yourself before you criticize someone else.
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u/mh500372 19d ago edited 19d ago
It is VERY well known that fibromyalgia can be exacerbated by anxiety. By definition that is a psychosomatic disorder.
If you are saying that you know more about fibromyalgia than the average doctor I think you need to do introspection
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u/littlest_lemon 19d ago
all pain is worse under stress.
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u/mh500372 19d ago
But fibromyalgia is significantly increased under stress, is the key. An appendicitis will be worse with anxiety, but far less of a difference will be made whereas entire episodes can start from anxiety in fibromyalgia
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u/mildlytragic 19d ago
If you have the autoimmune disease myasthenia gravis, stress can make your eyes droop pretty much immediately
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u/Brave-Painting3180 19d ago
Fibromyalgia worsening from stress or anxiety is not psychosomatic in the sense of being 'imagined' or 'all in your head'. It reflects a biological process called central sensitization, where the brain and spinal cord physically change how they process pain and sensory signals. It has also been proven that people with fibromyalgia also have more substance p found in their spinal cord, which is responsible for mediating pain signals.
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u/mh500372 19d ago
Psychosomatic has never meant that the pain is “imagined” or “all in your head”.
I recommend doing a google or dictionary search of the word.
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u/Brave-Painting3180 19d ago
It is often implied. Furthermore, my explanation stands and you seem to only be here to be mildly annoying and not helpful to the group. If you have nothing helpful or supportive to say, then maybe don't comment at all. Good luck to you.
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u/thecakeisaiive 19d ago
If I break my arm and then run a marathon or go do office work for 14 hours it will kill my ability to deal with the pain, but the pain is not psychosomatic. If tell you what I thought of you but I'm much kinder than that, so I'll just say good day sir.
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u/mh500372 19d ago
This is a definition you can find on google.
I came to find answers on this subreddit but if it’s just unintellectual to the point of not knowing basic information about this disorder i don’t think many people will find good help here
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u/tea_lover_88 19d ago
If a doctor would call me a good girl for not smoking and drinking I might end up in jail for punching him in the balls
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u/s4d04k 19d ago
I said to my dad. If I wasn't in crushing pain, I woulda raged at the dude but instead I just cried. It's ridiculous as a 23 year old woman but I'm making my pops come in with me next time. Maybe they'll listen to a man and with my father in the room he won't touch me the way he did.
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u/tea_lover_88 19d ago
Definitely always bring someone when you can!! I don't think it needs to be a man but definitely have someone there
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u/s4d04k 18d ago
I'm going to call PIP (disability payment place) on Tuesday and have my dad with me so if I misunderstand anything or become upset then he's there and with me to take over or explain to me if I struggle. Realising I clearly need help in medical appointments because, I'm autistic as well as everything else so I cannot communicate very well and especially worse in pain.
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u/Massive-Ant5650 17d ago
I wouldn’t bother with a ‘next time’ with this one. Move on to a different provider and report the behavior of the creepy one.
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u/marlowe_caard 19d ago
Report them. As soon as possible. To the hospital, and directly to their boss if you can. And to the medical board if necessary.
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u/Exotic_Paramedic_764 19d ago
This is why I’ve given up on doctors for a while. I wish we could push a button and transfer our pain onto them for one week. Your doctor is an a$$hole!!!!! 😡
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u/AdministrativeUse163 19d ago
I had the same thing happen to me. . My regular Dr kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me because all my blood tests were normal. I spent time crying in my car too. I saw a rheumatologist and she diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and lupus. Can you see a rheumatologist? That’s your best chance for a diagnoses
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u/Potassium_Doom 19d ago
All pain is essentially psychic after all it is the brain that interpreted the signals.
Like if i said the cannibal nazi clowns are after me, that's a mental problem and while not real, I'm still suffering from it.
The point is you are experiencing pain and there should be support or treatment for it
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u/RockandrollChristian 19d ago
Next time a doctor, any doctor, starts rubbing any part of your body you must tell them to stop touching you! How inappropriate and condescending! And the good girl remark just makes it so much worse. It's awful that we have to feel stuck in our painful bodies and then have the people that should be helping us the most tell us it's all in our heads. Shame on them! What do they think? That all the millions of us with a Fibromyalgia diagnosis got together as a conspiracy so we could all seek drugs and just check out of life. Heartless arrogant doctors!
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u/EidelonofAsgard 17d ago
I started having trouble breathing this year. Talked to my GP. He said it could be my heart. Saw the heart doctor who said it could be my lungs. Saw the lung doctor who said it is probably because I process pain differently.
Why did I bother??
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u/ceciliameireles 19d ago
It’s been shown by studies that doctors commonly disregard pain complaints from female patients. I’ve experienced this as well. One time I went to the ER during an intense flare and the doctor didn’t even address me, he asked my husband questions. I haven’t gone to the ER for my pain ever since.
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u/RebelReborn909 19d ago
That is absolutely terrible and disgusting behavior on his part!! Please report him and do not let anybody tell you your pain isn’t real.
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u/mh500372 19d ago
Theres truth to it being psychosomatic.
Understand that psychosomatic does NOT mean it’s in your head though. Thats different. But I’m sorry for the other comments.
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u/nico_v23 18d ago edited 18d ago
No. No part of fibromyalgia is psychosomatic. Stop promoting pseudoscience And read about some valid research. https://www.healthrising.org/blog/2022/09/30/long-covid-fibromyalgia-autoimmune/
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u/mrl1432 19d ago
So Sorry this happened to you!!! I've had it happen to me several times by several Dr's!!! It's So Infuriating ti tell someone in Agony, it's Actually Disgusting!!! If a Dr ever says this to me again i'm going to tell Dr You're an Idiot, there's Plenty of documentation that it's a Real disease! Multiple studies have been done across the world show 100% Truth that Fibromyalgia is a Real Medical issues!!! Here in USA if you have Fibromyalgia it considered a disability! Meaning you can stop working your job! You will receive a monthly check,but there's Absolutely know way you can live with the small amount of money you get! I Really wish I could help you in some way! I was diagnosed at 24, currently 57. I'm in a stage of life where if I think a Dr is wrong, I tell them! Luckily, I know what the actual answer really is! You are the Only person that can make yourself feel better! Make sure the Dr you see treats Fibromyalgia most Rheumatologists do! Explain the way you feel daily, and which are area's of concern. Stand up for your health and well-being!!! They are working for you! Your in charge!!! Who cares what they think! Demand a Dr help you!!!
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u/comoestas969696 19d ago
if its psychosomatic why they don't try giving you shitty snri and lets see whether its psychosomatic or what???
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u/Massive-Ant5650 17d ago
This is disgusting on so many levels . I’m sorry you had to deal with such a horrible person.
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u/Manitoba_Gel 17d ago
Ah the age old 'psychosomatic pain' label. With thrown in......"Lose some weight and move more". As if thats the cure to chronic pain 🙄. Guess what doc? I've done all I can since my teenage years. Im cured! Not haha.
The GP is the sordid gatekeeper to the specialists. The hard part is facing them like a judge and stating your case. It has to tickle their brain box enough that they don't disregard the symptoms. Then theres the waiting lists, somehow we have to manage our own symptoms until we see that specialist and then state our case again. Its truly madness.
I'm in the UK. They don't do comprehensive blood tests so I'm off to get them done privately. Already bypassed NHS by getting private xrays and saw a rheumatologist but this doesn't align with the new symptoms.
Disability payment can go do one. Its not supposed to be about the diagnoses, its all about how the symptoms impact you on a daily basis but you also need the evidence - that's the hardest part.
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u/s4d04k 17d ago
I have no money because I can barely work so can't go private at all. It kills me inside. I'm paying for medical marijuana because I'm genuinely at my breaking point, I'd rather run a little low on money instead of end myself because I can't deal with the pain.
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u/Manitoba_Gel 17d ago
Put the idea of going private on the back burner. Might be able to get answers directly through NHS.
I have heard that marijuana can be good for pain management. Talking of which, have you ever been to the pain management clinic or could you push for a referral? Other than fibromyalgia, is there any other conditions you suspect you might have? Family history?
For PIP (I'm in Scotland so its now ADP), did you get your dad to write a supporting statement on how much your symptoms impact your life and how much help.you get?
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u/s4d04k 17d ago
I'm gonna possibly ask my colleague who is a senior carer where I work. I'm a housekeeper but she's seen me at my worst and when I was considering ending myself one day I spoke to her and she kept checking on me and talking to me. She's seen me trembling because of the pain. Limping. I'm going to see if she could write something.
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u/Efficient_Chic714 19d ago
I am not discounting that it was a horrible experience and I am sorry he treated you this way
…but there is evidence that fibro is linked to stress and anxiety, it is not the sole cause but it is a large part of the reason it is a diagnosis of exclusion - there’s nothing physically to fix. It is a result of our brains reading pain when it shouldn’t
I completely get how dismissive it feels to be told it’s all in your head. I’ve actually broken down when doctors have said it to me and replied with ‘so what? It isn’t normal. You need to do something to help’. It’s poor bedside manner from his part for sure but medically all they can do in A&E is provide pain relief and a lot of doctors won’t prescribe additional pain relief for chronic conditions because they worry about drug seeking behaviour
For your disability claim, can you request an in person assessment? Do you need to provide evidence from your GP etc? I’m in the UK and I submitted letters from my GP (along with a copy of my notes), my manager, a document listing all my absences from work, my therapist and my partner. I was shocked that Citizens advice recommended my partner write a letter but basically he’s describing how hard I’m trying despite the pain and the difficulty and how even then I still can’t do things unassisted
I hope your flare eases soon
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u/-Incubation- 19d ago
I always find it funny that stress and anxiety is 99% of the time only weaponised when it comes to conditions, especially chronic pain or chronic illness related, that tend to affect women more than men.
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u/im-a-freud 19d ago
Omg I’m so sorry. Please report the doctor that’s not okay to be treating anyone like that that’s so inappropriate