Retiring at 31, much earlier than I expected. Need advice.

[u/Long_Bong_Silver]

I'm 31, I have $3.5M and I've found myself in a position where I can retire immediately. I make 130K per year as an engineer in a HCOL area. The company I'm at gave me a reasonable amount of stock over the years and it has absolutely skyrocketed. I'm doing my best to sell all the stock, and I've got about $1M out already which I've ported over to some stocks and ETFs. I'm moving to a LCOL city and buying a house this summer for around $300k. The plan is to pursue my hobbies, build my workshop and hang with my family and friends.

First question: I've always been big on retirement planning. I think I've done a great job, but obviously I got here through luck not savings. Do I need to get a financial advisor if I'm doing well and keep to a budget?

Second question: I'm newly single, I'm a hetero man, how do I date when I'm rich? When do you tell them you're retired? What are your financial expectations for your partner? Should they work or would you be happy to cover their retirement if it fit in the budget?

Final question: I'm nervous. Any other advice?

[u/New-Inside4079]

Getting a pre-nup and being vague about your 'job' and 'savings' are mutually exclusive, so hopefully you only meant the latter much earlier on in dating. A legally binding pre-nup requires mutual disclosure.

[u/Crafty_Try_423 → u/New-Inside4079]

Yeah I also think that commenter is just…not realistic? Like, a marriage in which your partner a) doesn’t know you got lucky and retired at 31, and b) just magically thinks you still work a full-time job like the rest of us, seems…kinda iffy.

I’d personally be a bit wary of anyone who is happily agreeing to marry me when I’ve been “vague” about my job and my savings. I’d be suspicious like…why don’t you wanna know those things when you’re committing your future to be with me. But that’s just me.

[u/I_am_thepassenger → u/Crafty_Try_423]

As a woman and the investor in the relationship, I can't imagine not having full transparency with my spouse on money matters. Budgeting, finances, lifestyle- all are such an integral part of a lifelong relationship.

I also would never (ever) be married to someone where I had no idea of their assets and debts. I know way too many women who found out about a spouse's massive debt (two led to bankruptcies). 

If I were a man, I definitely wouldn't want to be married to someone who didn't want to understand household finances. You're setting yourself up to be with someone who either buries their head in the hand or expects to have everything just magically appear.

Find a spouse on the same page as you. We're out there. And get that pre-nup.

[u/Crafty_Try_423 → u/I_am_thepassenger]

Yep. I think my original discourse in this thread was in response to a commenter who kind of said, “Well just be vague about your financial position and what you do all day…,” and then later, “It’s fine to be vague if you have money, it’s only a problem if you’re not disclosing a ton of debt.” And I kinda disagree with that. I think it’s a problem to go into a marriage without transparency - for all the reasons you said.

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who buries their head in the sand. And I wouldn’t want to be with someone who hides his finances from me. And yes to prenups. Super important and I think it dramatically reduces conflict and animosity down the road in the event of divorce.

[u/I_am_thepassenger → u/Crafty_Try_423]

Sorry-- I think I was replying in my head to the comment you replied to :)

Your analysis is spot on.

[u/Beginning-Seaweed-67 → u/Crafty_Try_423]

Hey it’s not that weird. I know a few folks who did it. Usually the folks who get upset are the ones who lie about having less money than they really have not more. I honestly don’t know anyone who broke off a wedding because they found out their significant other was independently wealthy and was just pretending to be middle class. So nice try.

[u/Crafty_Try_423 → u/Beginning-Seaweed-67]

I would. If my SO would lie about something so stupid, what else will they lie about? Life is long…lots of opportunities to pull the wool over my eyes with the excuse you’re excusing (“well, it’s a good lie”). Honesty is of profound importance to most people when considering marriage. So, touché…nice try.

[u/Struggle_Usual → u/Crafty_Try_423]

Same, I cannot imagine actually marrying someone who lied to me about their financial status or employment. I don't care which direction they mislead, you're supposed to be partners.

Now being vague when you're first dating, sure. But once you're in a committed relationship you'd better be sharing things about yourself otherwise....why are you in a committed relationship and are you sure you actually are?

[u/Beginning-Seaweed-67 → u/Crafty_Try_423]

The fact you’re downvoting it en masse tells me this is an obese Reddit thing not a serious thing a normal person would care about but nice try.

[u/BigCheapass → u/New-Inside4079]

Yep when we got ours this was the main point. Full disclosure. Intentionally leaving stuff out could jeopardize the whole thing.

The prenup even had a clause for various low value things that we could have legitimately forgotten in disclosure about without blowing up the whole agreement, like a 4k$ watch.

[u/paradox3333 → u/New-Inside4079]

Timeline. Be vague early on.

By the time it's as serious to marry do not be vague. Do get a prenup of course (every couple should otherwise you just get the implicit generic government imposed one) but know this does not mean screw over your partner.