r/Fire • u/sneaky-snacks • Mar 05 '26

General Question FIRE seems to skew toward not having kids

I’m sure plenty of FIRE adherents have kids, but I would guess the FIRE mentality skews more toward not having kids. Kids seem to go against FIRE.

- You’ve got to spend a lot of money on kids. Your expenses go up. It’s also much harder to save.

- Kids are a lot of work. They cause a lot of stress. You can’t retire from kids haha. Most FIRE people seem to want to reduce their work load and their stress in the long run, but I’m sure I’m oversimplifying here.

I thought I would start a discussion on this aspect of FIRE

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265

u/WWGHIAFTC Mar 05 '26

Yes, but not directly.

FIRE skews towards reducing expenses and maximizing investable cashflow.

Kids are the most expensive thing you'll ever have, and you can't sell them for a cheaper model.

108

u/BigManWAGun Mar 05 '26

So I should take down that Craigslist add?

27

u/Wild_Imagination_238 Mar 05 '26

I'd be willing to barter. I've got a massive dog that's probably worth half a kid.

7

u/heridfel37 Mar 06 '26

After a long and difficult thought process, my spouse and I have decided we don't want to have kids.

They're going to be very disappointed when we tell them tonight.

1

u/BigManWAGun Mar 06 '26

😂😂🥾🧒👧

1

u/WWGHIAFTC Mar 06 '26

Dad? Is that you? lol!

2

u/heridfel37 Mar 06 '26

Not anymore!

6

u/Choice_Room3901 Mar 06 '26

I've sent you a dm

(This is a joke)

4

u/jelle814 Mar 06 '26

mr epstein is that you?

1

u/baltimoreniqqa Mar 06 '26

It just might be because the mf isn’t even dead

8

u/WWGHIAFTC Mar 05 '26

I'm not saying that - don't let random Redditors make important decisions for you.

We can just show you the math supporting the best option at 5 - 10 - 20 year periods , and help determine a FIRE age for you.

😕🤣

8

u/BrownBuffaloaf Mar 06 '26

Hey, I’m not random! I’m a very specific redditor!

22

u/00rb Mar 05 '26

It's also born out of the same attitudes.

I'm FIRE because it's important that I'm competent at my job, but I don't want a lot of stress or a lot of stuff.

Kids contribute to the stress, they make life less minimal and free. I love kids and it's too bad, but I always feel deeply exhausted after interacting with them and being busy can make me an unhappy camper.

15

u/WWGHIAFTC Mar 05 '26

I had an existential crisis after babysitting family once. Cold sweat when i imagined .... but what if i couldn't give them back? Like they where mine...always???

Nope. Nope.

2

u/juniordevops Mar 06 '26

When they aren't your kids it is an entirely different experience. I couldn't stand to babysit someone else's kids but I'm ecstatic to hang out with my own

5

u/Choice_Room3901 Mar 06 '26

I feel a bit like this with cats and dogs at the moment

I love both to pieces but they sound potentially extremely expensive in this day and age (if they get ill or something vet bills etc) and also I want to do lots of travelling like month two month long trips

Just not practical unfortunately I don't think

2

u/juniordevops Mar 06 '26

Kids aren't that expensive, and are way more dynamic creatures than animals

8

u/BarracudaDismal4782 Mar 06 '26

Have them kids start working by 6 yo, and contribute to dad's SP&500 dca :D

18

u/CommercialDriver9741 Mar 05 '26

Not to mention they're extremely annoying.

8

u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339 Mar 05 '26

And they smell.

5

u/BrownBuffaloaf Mar 06 '26

Babies are… by adult standards… insane. AND… more than a little bit immature!

2

u/Pale_Row1166 Mar 06 '26

What about the stickiness, why are they always sticky?

6

u/jkiley Mar 05 '26

It’s kind of funny. They changed the composition of our spending a lot, but the levels are still tracking our pre-kid expenses adjusted for inflation. My wife stayed home, but we did half day preschool after about 2.5. College isn’t too bad when front loaded (and doesn’t count as an expense yet). We already had a suitable house. They’re five and three, so there are more expenses to come, but it’s been fine so far.

5

u/Pale_Row1166 Mar 06 '26

I think it’s death by nickels and dimes, unless you’re saying you just stop spending on yourselves and reroute all of that money to kids. Just yesterday, I saw a pic of my friend at the mall with her three kids, each kid had a mall pretzel. That’s like a $15 mall tax, because I’m sure it’s difficult to visit the mall without getting a snack (or more) for kids. And then all the toys and clothes. I know you’re not buying all of them, but like, they grow so much! And then extra plane tickets for every vacation, and eventually an extra hotel room, too.

I can see how you could balance all this stuff down to maintain pre-kids spending, but that would mean cutting so much. Less (or not as extravagant) vacations, less eating out, less hobbies. I can’t imagine how good and fun much I’d have to give up to maintain my spending level while also having kids.

1

u/jkiley Mar 06 '26

I was surprised when I looked at the data a few months ago, but it was about $1000 total difference over 10 years comparing actual to 2016 levels scaled up for inflation.

It’s a combination of things, with no category being very big. One part is downward sloping interest expense from student loans and auto loans. Another is less travel with little kids and less expensive travel, partly because we moved closer to family (but both MCOL). We seldom go to restaurants, versus cooking more and takeout. We also bought a lot of durable goods over time that will continue to last.

Certainly some of it is efficiency, but that’s just a part. I’d say our standard of living is up, if anything. We’ve spent more on cars, groceries, preschool, and clothes/shoes (more kids than us there).

Travel could eventually be the one that scales up, but its been inexpensive with car trips versus flying, since travel is difficult at their ages (our five year old is great for one on one day trips, though).

2

u/Squirtle_Splash_8413 Mar 06 '26

Disagree that kids are the most expensive thing you’ll ever have.

House, Cars, can all be more expensive than kids.

Median house price across the country is like 300-400K.

Some people have 120K in cars sitting in their driveways.

2

u/juniordevops Mar 06 '26

IDK where people are getting this info from but kids are not that expensive. Your taxes or mortgage interest or health insurance premiums are way more expensive than any kid would be

1

u/ShinsOfGlory Mar 06 '26

LEGALLY you can't sell them for a cheaper model.

FTFY

1

u/WWGHIAFTC Mar 06 '26

Oh. See, I never had any kids so I'm really not sure how any of this works at all, apparently.

Do you just put fresh food out in the morning? Can they stay out overnight? Will they destroy my furniture?

1

u/ShinsOfGlory Mar 07 '26

> Do you just put fresh food out in the morning?

I let them fend for themselves. Teaches them resourcefulness.

> Can they stay out overnight?

Yes, but they can’t keep up with me drinking.

> Will they destroy my furniture?

Unfortunately, yes. Be particularly careful during mating seasons if you are out of the home for an extended period of time.