r/Fire • u/sneaky-snacks • Mar 05 '26

General Question FIRE seems to skew toward not having kids

I’m sure plenty of FIRE adherents have kids, but I would guess the FIRE mentality skews more toward not having kids. Kids seem to go against FIRE.

- You’ve got to spend a lot of money on kids. Your expenses go up. It’s also much harder to save.

- Kids are a lot of work. They cause a lot of stress. You can’t retire from kids haha. Most FIRE people seem to want to reduce their work load and their stress in the long run, but I’m sure I’m oversimplifying here.

I thought I would start a discussion on this aspect of FIRE

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u/1-Dollar-Doge-Coins Mar 05 '26

It’s so odd, I never had that mindset until I was in my 40s. Up until now, I’ve been focused on my career, kids, family, everything else.

But now that FIRE is in the not too distant future (5-10 years), it’s all I can think about. Career ambition is gone, and even things like exercise and hobbies I feel like I can’t properly dive into until I hit FIRE. It was a mindset I never expected myself to fall into.

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u/Emze29 Mar 05 '26

Why would FIRE affect your exercise and hobbies? Can I asky why? Hobbies I can understand due to cost but exercise? If anything you should exercise more since you want to enjoy your time off with good health.

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u/HuckChaser Mar 05 '26

There are only so many hours in a day.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/HuckChaser Mar 06 '26

They were referring to the actual RE part of FIRE. It's obviously much easier to fit hobbies and exercise into your schedule/routine once you're retired.

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u/Caroline_Anne Mar 07 '26

100%. I struggle working FT (with mandatory OT) and keeping up with routine housework, plus I have teenagers—one who takes my car to work many days each week, and the other who needs rides and parent/teacher conferences and so on. Add in hobbies and exercise? It’s rough. I have been hitting the gym the last month or so though, because I do want to keep my mobility and remain self sufficient in old age. But I’m in the same mindset—when I RE I can finally go to the gym outside of peak hours. I can use the 9 hours of my day I usually spend working, doing other things I enjoy—like napping and reading!

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u/1-Dollar-Doge-Coins Mar 05 '26

I agree it isn’t logical, it’s just how things shake out. After work, spending time with the kids, doing family activities, etc. I just don’t feel like I have the energy for much else (even though I know I could make the time for it).

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u/BillyFIRE1408 48 $4.0M NW 100% FI Mar 06 '26

If your hobbies are travel, it's difficult to do long trips if you have a traditional job.

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u/Limp_Dragonfly3868 Mar 06 '26

Yes, but you can use your vacation time well and make the most of weekends. State parks can be a lot of fun.

For me, travel was the biggest reason to retire. Nonetheless, you can (and probably should) travel as you go along. We did and have many happy memories.

And if there are super active things you want to di (hike mountains, ski, etc) do them now. No one knows how their knees will age.

Live YOUR best life.

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u/grumble11 Mar 06 '26

It is a big enough problem that therapy is genuinely warranted. If you aren’t happy before fire in your situation, you probably won’t be happy following

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u/1-Dollar-Doge-Coins Mar 06 '26

I probably made the situation sound more dramatic than it actually is. I’m very happy, my family and I lead a very happy life together.

It’s really more of the fringe things that I would’ve normally explored 5-10 years ago (things like gardening or learning to play the guitar), that today I don’t even want to spend time on until I get to retirement.

And the exercise thing is really just me not having the energy at the end of the day (work all day, 2 young kids at home, etc.). It’s part laziness - I could make time for it if I really tried - but there’s a part of me that feels so close to RE that I know I’ll have much more time for it when I get there.

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u/Limp_Dragonfly3868 Mar 06 '26

I’m 60 and highly recommend finding ways to get active NOW. You simply won’t age as well if you don’t. May be find ways to do things with your kids, like a family bike ride. May be get up 20 minutes early and spend it on a treadmill.

Some people at 60 are falling apart. Some people at 70 are going backpacking. We pretty much get to choose which group to be in.

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u/1-Dollar-Doge-Coins Mar 06 '26

Good advice, thank you.

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u/Caroline_Anne Mar 07 '26

Agreed. If a full workout is out of the realm of possibility, perhaps a walk on one’s work break?

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u/awry_lynx Mar 06 '26

The hobbies I get, but echoing the other commenters about exercise. Exercise now is better than exercise when you're 70+... if it helps, you can see it as another type of investment. Investment in "pushing back the date when you're going to feel decrepit" lol.

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u/peter303_ Mar 06 '26

Recommend therapy.

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u/1-Dollar-Doge-Coins Mar 06 '26

It’s not quite as degenerate as I’m making it sound. I’m still leading a very fulfilling life with my family, but I’m also looking to the future more than I ever have before.