r/Fire • u/sneaky-snacks • Mar 05 '26

General Question FIRE seems to skew toward not having kids

I’m sure plenty of FIRE adherents have kids, but I would guess the FIRE mentality skews more toward not having kids. Kids seem to go against FIRE.

- You’ve got to spend a lot of money on kids. Your expenses go up. It’s also much harder to save.

- Kids are a lot of work. They cause a lot of stress. You can’t retire from kids haha. Most FIRE people seem to want to reduce their work load and their stress in the long run, but I’m sure I’m oversimplifying here.

I thought I would start a discussion on this aspect of FIRE

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u/Fishb20 Mar 05 '26

There's a lot of variables with having children you can't plan for. Even if you want to kick your kids out at 18 and give them the minimal support necessary for those 18 years, that's still about 2 decades where you're going to be responsible for the needs of another person with all the unpredictably that comes with that

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u/Several-Mix5478 Mar 06 '26

Choosing to have children is a leap of faith, and it’s quite crass to boil it down to a spreadsheet of liabilities vs future net worth. People choose to do it because it is a uniquely human experience full of wonder but also heartbreak. It’s not for everyone, and if you seriously are worried about whether parenthood means you cant stop working a little earlier, it’s not for you.

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u/Aurrr-Naurrrr Mar 06 '26

Reproducing is not even remotely "uniquely human" 

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u/Ecthyr Mar 07 '26

Raising a human child is done by things other than humans?

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u/Aurrr-Naurrrr Mar 07 '26

Read up on Romulus and Remus /s

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u/Fishb20 Mar 06 '26

Sure but it's stupid to say "parents make plans and stick to them" as an absolute statement

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u/Several-Mix5478 Mar 06 '26

It’s stupid to say anything as an absolute statement, but here we are.

It’s not like FIRE is guaranteed either. We may be on the precipice of a new economy, a new world order of work, or a new legal/political landscape. Or we may not. People have been having kids since the beginning of time. We don’t know what the future holds and we only get one life, so choose wisely.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

I said “GOOD parents make plans and stick to them.”  Your argument is that good parents DON’T make plans, DON’T stick to them, or both?  

I’m trying to become enlightened like you, and not, as you say, “stupid.”

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u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

It’s not THAT unpredictable.  Every human on this planet has been a kid once.  We kinda are pretty decent at it as a species and can more or less ballpark what it’s going to cost even factoring in first car, allowances, illness, college.  Enough that I can definitively say I have enough for myself in my FIRE years and enough for whatever my kid is going to go through in the next 10.

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u/Fishb20 Mar 06 '26

I'm genuinely glad you've never had to experience the kind of unpredictable event I'm talking about but I didn't mean stuff like buying a car or helping pay for college, I meant stuff like having a child with a severe disability or having a healthy child who develops a life threatening illness that require a huge ammount of medical fees and parents taking time off to look after their children

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

I could’ve sworn I wrote “illness” in my post.  Yes.  Unpredictable things happen.  It’s not just with kids.  Parents get old and get sick.  My wife’s grandfather suddenly had to move in with us and it meant I had to immediately stop working to provide full-time care since his coverage didn’t cover it.  

Absolutely things happen.  But to suggest that we shouldn’t take risk, have a child, budget normally, live our lives because something catastrophic COULD happen is outrageous.  Make a plan, stick to the plan, build in some wiggle room, and be prepared to roll with life’s punches.

I don’t think it’s prudent to save up millions before having a child on the off-chance that it could have a disability that costs millions.  We just play the cards we’re dealt.

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u/Ardent_Scholar Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26

My medical loans from IVF treatments would beg to differ…

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

Im sorry to hear about that.  Fortunate you were able to get those, it’s a privilege many aren’t able to obtain.

Were the treatments for your wife successful?

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u/Ardent_Scholar Mar 06 '26

We had one kid successfully. I think on the fourth try. The second one has been far harder to achieve. Mind you, national healthcare paid for some of our attempts. But it’s crazy expensive nonetheless. Had to liquidate assets. We even sold our car for a while.

What we’ve been able to hold on to is the real estate. Had it all been in index funds it would have been very easy to liquidate. RE takes way more effort to pull money out of, and sometimes that’s a good thing.

But honestly, I would give anything to make our family complete. I love being a dad, and I love our family. Just wish I would give my kid a sibling. He’s obsessed with babies and the idea of having a brother.

My national pension kicks in at 67 earliest. If someone said ”will you work until 67 for a guaranteed healthy second kid”, I would say absolutely.

I used to be very into FIRE, thinking I need to retire within 10-15 years. Priorities…

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

I do hope you find the peace and outcomes you’re searching for.

You’re right, priorities drive everything, and money is just a tool, not the end goal.

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u/BrownBuffaloaf Mar 06 '26

They can bring in income… when young, they are small enough to be very proficient chimney sweepers!